Welp Garmy isn't dead anymore so.... *turns him alive again*

Also it is canon that Wu and Garmadon have been around for thousands of years. So I thought I'd experiment with the idea a little bit.

Enjoy!

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Garmadon: Guys look what I found in the attic! A whole recollection of me and Wu's childhood!

Kai: We have an attic?

Jay: What?! I hate attics!

Garmadon: Shut up freckle boy no one cares. Anyway here's a picture of me and Wu at our first witch burning. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I think it was 1456 when this was taken.

Wu: No it was 1448.

Garmadon: Whatever it was, we were so young in this... We were only 1203!

Wu: No we were 1287 years old.

Garmadon: Stop ruining the mood bootleg James Charles!

Cole: Woah, you're 1287? But you look so... young.

Wu: What's that supposed to mean!? I'm still very fit you know!

Nya: Sensei, why was the which being burned?

Wu: She flashed her ankles to our father.

Garmadon: Yeah and when she was being burned, she flashed her knees to us.

Wu: I still remember how quickly father hid our eyes.

Cole: Gosh the medieval days were crazy-

Lloyd: Ooh look what I found! Its that poodle hair person!

Garmadon and Wu: *Demonic screeching*

Jay: Lloyd run-

Wu: How dare my own blood insult Mozart like this!

Garmadon: This is why I'm more emotionally attached to plants than I am to you.

Kai: Oh my First Spinjitsu Master! You managed to get your portrait painted with Mozart!?

Wu: Why yes we did. I still remember how father disapproved of his music saying that it was an insult to traditional Ninjago music. He was very old fashioned.

Garmadon: Once we snuck away to attend one of his concerts and got his autograph! Father was so angry.

Kai: And you say that kids these days are rebellious.

Wu: *bonks Kai*

Garmadon: Look! It's a cave painting of us as toddlers! This was painted in 103. We were only 109 at the time!

Pixal: *short circuits* did you say 109, in the year 103?

Wu: Ooh and here's a celestial projection of Me, Garmadon and Father with the big bang!

Jay: How long have you guys been around for?!

Zane: This is physically impossible!

Kai: Um... Physics did not exist back then. It was created shortly after Einstein created gravity! Everyone learns this in preschool!

Nya: Every word of what you just said wrong.

Kai: Oh sorry! It was Picasso that made gravity! Not Einstein!

Nya: *facepalm*

Lloyd: Guys, I found a picture of dad with this giant lizard!

Wu: What is wrong with you Lloyd. That's a dinosaur.

Kai: Pfft. He clearly doesn't know his mammals.

Nya: Dinosaurs aren't mammals.

Garmadon: *gasp* ANDERSON! He was my very first pet! Oh I miss him so much, me and him would always prank Wu together. Like that one time when we filled his part of the cave with feathers-

Wu: That was you?! I knew it! *pulls out Ouija board*

Chicken: Cluck cluck (The hell is he doing?)

Wu: *summons First Spinjitsu Master* Father, I told you it was him! He was the one who filled my part of the cave with feathers!

FSM: Oh my self! You are now ruining my eternal rest, the hell is wrong with you.

Wu: Father, Garmadon feathered my part of the cave!

FSM: The cave? Oh the cave! From back when architecture wasn't a thing! Yeah that happened. Sick prank kid. *goes back to departed realm*

Garmadon: HAHA-

Wu: I will have you know that I have trapped Christophern in a dark box with little access to any sort of light.

Garmadon: WHAT?! But he won't be able to photosynthesis! He'll starve!

Lloyd: *cries* Dad never cared about me this way!

Cole: Plants can get hungry?

Nya: Technically I guess?

Zane: Cole, I know what you're thinking. No, please do not place pieces of cake in our plant pots. Placing them in a lighted area will be enough to satisfy their "hunger".

Cole: Thank god! Now I don't have to feel guilty whenever I eat something in front of a plant!

Lloyd: *still crying*

Garmadon: Shut up Lloyd, your brother is dying!

Pixal: Zane, sometimes I wish I stayed dismantled and you never found me.

Zane: Rest in peace.

Pixal: What?

Zane: You know how peaople say 'RIP' in text messages whenever someone says something sad or sarcastic? I'm doing just that!

Pixal: ok.. I think its best if you try to stop picking up modern slang.

Zane: Bruh plus Ratio.

Pixal:....