18.Winter bear
Taehyung's phone ringed early in the morning as he lied on the bed as usual, waiting for your call like he'd do everyday in these two weeks.
Not a day passed for him without tears. Though he tries his best to pull himself together, he just can't.
Taehyung expected it to be you on a video call. But instead, it was an unknown number.
Gulping, still with red and puffy eyes, Taehyung attended the call.
"Mr.Kim Taehyung" the speaker on the other line said.
"Y-Yes" Taehyung said.
"I'm a doctor in Seoul National Hospital's group which treats Covid-19 patients" he said and Taehyung could feel his heartbeat accelerating.
"We tried to contact Ms.Lee Y/n's only family member. But the mobile number was out of reach" the doctor said through the call. "This was the number on the file in the guardian's column" he continued.
Taehyung immediately sat up on the bed, his eyes hoping the doctor to say that you've recovered.
"Mr.Kim Taehyung" the doctor started again. "Ms.Y/n passed away an hour ago. She had breathing difficulties since the morning and-" the remaining words didn't reach Taehyung's ears as he dropped the phone on the floor.
His heart clenched, throat tightening as his lips started to quiver.
You don't know pain until you're staring at yourself in the mirror, with tears in your eyes begging yourself to just hold on and be strong.
That is pain.
"Why?" he asked softly. "WHY?!" he yelled this time, throwing the things across the room.
"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!" he yelled again, punching the wall on his side as he slid down on the floor.
"Why did you leave me?" he asked as a whisper, weakly punching the wall as his knuckles started to bleed. But he didn't seem to care.
Taehyung was heartbroken. He's a mess without you.
Every time he feels down, he'd look around and find you lending him a shoulder to cry on, to let out his emotions.
Once again, he looked around. But you were not there for him today.
His body was numb, mind void of any thoughts. He couldn't even touch your face before you got buried. He could not even look at you from far.
You were his shadow when he was alone. You gave him your shoulder when he wanted to cry. When he was not happy, you were his smile. When he needed someone, you were there.
And now, he needs you, but you're not there.
Hours passed. And then, a week passed. But Taehyung was still the same.
He wouldn't eat or get out of the room. He'd just stare at your pictures in his laptop, letting all the memories he made with you flash in front of his eyes.
Those memories with you sneaked out of his eyes, rolling down his cheeks.
He wants you to come back. Even as a shadow. Even as a dream.
But all he wants is you.
"Taehyung-ah" he heard his uncle enter the room slowly.
Like always, Taehyung didn't respond. He just laid inside the dark room, hugging the pillow on the bed, his back facing the door.
"The hospital sent this," his uncle said, walking to the other side of the bed to face Taehyung's red eyes, which were blank, but also held millions of emotions at the same time.
Placing the small plastic cover in front of Taehyung, his uncle slowly left the room, closing the door behind him.
A few minutes passed and Taehyung slowly let his hand reach for the plastic cover.
As he opened the cover, he found a paper folded in it.
Unfolding the note, Taehyung couldn't help but let out sobs after looking at your handwriting on the paper.
To my baby bear,
I want you to know that I am fighting very hard every day for my life. I do it for you so that I can see you again.
You are the most important person in my life and I miss you every day. I know I am not always the perfect person I want to be, but I do my best. If I make it through this, I promise to be better, in God, in life, and as a wife. You have always deserved the best and when I get a second chance, I will do it.
We had our time and it was wonderful. I love you and miss you very much, Byun-Tae. And I will keep fighting. Borahae.
But, if I don't make it and sleep like a winter bear forever, I want you to know that in these years, I lived a happy, wonderful life with you and would never have traded it for all the riches in the world. If I don't make it, I also want you to be happy and continue to live your life without me, and with no regrets.
Always with love, your winter bear, Y/n.
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