Therapist: So, what seems to be bothering you?

Scarlet: For now, it's these assholes keep hogging all the instant noodles.

Blister: I paid for them, so technically they're mine!

Therapist: Relax. OK, how about we go one by one?

Burn: Alright, how about me first? My problem is that my sister is a gigantic bi--

Blister: Oh! That's rich coming from you!

Burn: At least I'm not creepy as fuck!

Blister: Says the one you keeps heads as Christmas ornaments!

Morrowseer: Why did I pay for this session, if you guys aren't gonna do shit!?

Hawthorn: I'm yelling because everyone else is yelling!

Darkstalker: If you ask me, I should go first! I'm a walking pile of trauma! I have nightmares of strawberries to this day!

Therapist: EVERYONE, SETTLE DOWN!

Villains: *silence*

Therapist: I see that you are a rather...difficult group. You're problems will only get worse, if you guys do not work together.

Therapist: I suggest a Trust Exercise!

Morrowseer: Ah, crap.

Later:

Therapist: Now Blister, all you need to is fall, and trust that Burn will catch you.

Blister: Like hell, I would!

Burn: Let's just get this over with, sis.

Blister: *inhale*

Blister: *falls backwards*

Burn: *catches her*

Blister: Wow...you actually did it.

Therapist: That was great, Burn!

Burn: So, are we done here?

Therapist: Yes.

Burn: Good *drops Blister*

Blister: OW!

----

Therapist: OK, Morrowseer. In front of you, Hawthorn has two cupcakes: one is bad, and one is good, but only he knows. You need to trust him to give you the right one.

Morrowseer: I don't like this.

Hawthorn: C'mon, it might be fun!

*Hawthorn picks up one cupcake, and gives it to Morrowseer*

Hawthorn: Eat up!

Morrowseer: *prepares to eat it*

Hawthorn: It's been long since I seen the Breath of Evil have affect on a dragon...

Morrowseer: *pauses*

Morrowseer: What?

Hawthorn: It's fine, I definitely didn't give you the spiked cupcake with zombie plant poison if that's what you're thinking.

Hawthorn: Or did I?

Hawthorn: Just kidding, I didn't!

Morrowseer: Uh...

Hawthorn: What are you waiting for? Take a bite.

Morrowseer: Well, I--

Hawthorn: Eat it, pussy.

Morrowseer: ...

Morrowseer: *chomp!*

Morrowseer: .....BLAAGH!

Morrowseer: Why the fuck is there mayo in here!?

Hawthorn: HA! So much better than giving you zombie plant juice!

----

Therapist: So, what are your problems?

Scarlet: Well, this guy keeps stealing my jewelry!

Vulture: Talk to the talon, because the face ain't listening.

Scarlet: I can't rip the mouth off a talon, can I?

Therapist: Can't you two agree on anything?

Scarlet & Vulture: Like what?

Therapist: Well, you both are egotistical maniacs with no morals, mercy, and sympathy towards any living thing.

Scarlet: ....Oh darn, she's right.

*both villains murmur in agreement*

-----

Albatross: And that's my life story.

Darkstalker: Mine too.

Therapist: Uh, wow. I know this is unprofessional, but if I were you, I would jump into a pat of boiling acid.

Darkstalker: Well, thanks for that insight.

Albatross: Is there nothing you can do to help us?

Therapist: Obviously, your shortcomings have revolved around your animus magic.

Albatross: No shit, Sherlock. Animus magic drove me to this point.

Darkstalker: Me too...

Therapist: Well, if you two can relate to each other, how about you try to help each other?

Darkstalker: As if we know what we need! That's why we came to you!

Albatross: Actually, I think she's up to something.

Darkstalker: What?

Albatross: When I came back to life, I had to time to reflect on something. Maybe it wasn't the fault of our powers, but what we decided to do with them, that caused our souls to falter.

Darkstalker: So, how do we actually fix it?

Albatross: You can't fix past mistakes. But, maybe we can improve.

Darkstalker: But, how?

Therapist: If there's one thing that dying souls need, it's big ol' hug.

Darkstalker: Are you fucking serious?

Albatross: *sigh* Why not? Dirt is slandered on our legacies, so we don't have much dignity left.

*Albatross spreads his arms out*

Darkstalker: *rolls eyes* This is fucking degrading.

*reluctantly hugs the SeaWing, and Albatross hugs back. After a couple of minutes, Albatross tried to pull back, but Darkstalker held on*

Albatross: What's wrong?

Darkstalker: Your scales...are cold.

Albatross: I'm an IceWing descendant, so that explains it.

Darkstalker: ...

Albatross: Your father was an IceWing, right?

Darkstalker: I... *hides face*

Albatross: ...The fucker probably never hugged you. That's a little messed up.

Albatross: *tightens his embrace* If you want, you can do this as long as you like. Is that okay for you, son?

*Darkstalker teared up, and forcefully pulled back*

Albatross: Are you alright--

Darkstalker: Y-yes! *wipes his ears*

Darkstalker: Also, thanks...

Albatross: *nods*

Therapist: That was a nice session. Now, I will escort you two out.

Albatross: Aren't we supposes to be here for two hours?

Therapist: Yes, but Blister happened to set fire to a whole office, and...you're all banned for life.

Albatross: That...sounds about right.