Updated the cast list, look at the blurb. (Alaska by Brockhampton)

| 5. | skater girls and drug dealers

"Where in India are you from?"

I didn't have many friends, people either steered completely clear of me or tried too hard and I'd ignore them but before I'd became a social pariah because of my brother, I'd made two friends. Colin and Ian were both equal levels of annoying and lame and the question -when I'd invited Cilla to eat with us at lunch- was a variety of both of those factors.

She wasn't white, that much was obvious and of course the first thing my dumbass friend had assumed was she'd feel comfortable with such a blunt and uneducated question. The simple fact that our school had such a weird dynamic when it came to quick judgements was off-putting and I was absolutely sure she'd steer clear of the likes of us after this interaction.

I didn't care much but still, I wasn't looking for reason for us to be deemed ignorant on the first official meeting, if we were, it would be because of Colin.

Colin Ray was an extremely hyperactive track star and in between running, he'd linger around the skatepark with a bunch of kids I didn't really talk to. I mean, Mack and I would go there occasionally and when she got really handsy, I'd keep to myself and let her go off with one of them. I knew they slept together but it never really bothered me, nothing in high school was serious and every relationship was bound to end in some way.

He loved her, I knew he did, but he hadn't made any moves post-fucking her one time. I wasn't some mediator and I wasn't going to push them to be anything more than platonic. Maybe I should have because despite how much I knew he had no shot with the girl across from him, I could tell she wasn't having the best time with his gawking.

Pricilla had raised her eyebrows, not hesitating in sitting down right beside me. Her brown eyes were squinted as she took in his appearance and I was wondering how long it would take for her to deem this conversation a waste of time. She simply seemed to ignore it, taking her chicken sandwich out of its foil casing and taking a bite, her face scrunching in what I assumed to be annoyance at the mediocracy of the sandwich.

And she sat it back down on her tray, bracelet jingling with the movement, her chin placed on her hand as she gave Colin a flippant smile.

Her soft voice came out mocking and I wanted to laugh at the look of disbelief she had on her face when he had smiled back, "I'm from Ottawa." The funny thing was that the boy who had asked simply nodded enthusiastically, watching her with this look on his face that said he didn't know what the hell she was talking about but he'd play it cool. Playing it cool hardly worked for him and I'd sat back, amused with the conversation, her accent should have given away that she hadn't exactly grown up far from us.

When I thought he couldn't have stabbed himself further in the foot, he had opened his mouth again. "Exotic." Colin spoke, biting at his bottom lip and staring at her the same way he'd stared at anything with long lashes and tits... even if Cilla didn't have much.

Ian had snorted then, normally the two would engage in a conversation throughout our lunch periods and I'd sit there just listening as the smarter of the two would obviously be irritated. These were the two people that didn't mind my 'brooding' as Ian called it, and I was quite content with my selections. Normally everyday would consist of Ian rolling his dark brown eyes at the blond next to him, today was no exception. He was a smart kid, his grades mirrored mine and he was on the debate team, his mother a powerful senator. It seemed as if intellectualism ran in their family, unlike mine where the only thing that we all inherently had were mental issues.

Ian was the opposite of a stereotype, something I envied, with a head of thick coily hair and dark skin, he wasn't anything like how everyone else expected him to be. That led to him being ostracized, which -although it was awful- I'd say was a good thing because that led to our friendship. I never remembered how I started hanging out with Colin but I figured it was nearly of circumstance, maybe we'd met at a party where I was too drunk to remember or maybe he came along with befriending Ian.

Befriending Ian was after my teacher at the time had convinced me to try out for debate, once realizing the change in me after Oliver going off to juvie. It was a last-attempt to bring my old self back and it undoubtedly failed but I gained a good friend out of it, him sitting beside me in tryouts and going against me, in which, I completely screwed up. Our debate was on something to do with the prison system and I was bound to fail when given the affirmative stand-point of agreeing with it.

How could I be for prison when my dad had been locked up for as long as I can remember?

Anyways, that ended in me stumbling over my words and storming out of the room, waiting for Oliver out on the benches in front of the school, Ian had met me there when everyone else was leaving for home and he had offered a smile and a statement of him being so nervous that he was ten seconds away from leaving before his tryout when I'd came in and he was too scared to even walk past me let alone leave through the door.

He'd thanked me, and even though now, I'd be annoyed... I was amused. It wasn't until my brother had come back towards the middle of the year that the shunning had started, I'd attempted to be more outgoing but that didn't work much, my weekends being spent picking fights around downtown and my brother stepping in to end them. A year of that and pinning after a girl who was terrified of me had made me more recluse, I'd tried to pick back up old habits and old friends.

That summer, I'd realized that even if I wasn't Oliver, I had the same affect as him; people weren't exactly on the level of terrified that those before them were. People before were afraid of Oliver, no one really feared me but even then, they were somewhat scared that I'd snap so they said nothing at all. That explained the lack of invites I'd gotten to parties, I'd never really had friends either, not since Oliver had first went away.

I wasn't sure when it first dawned on me that my brother was somewhat the root of all my misfortune, even if he didn't mean to be, maybe I'd always known that being an only child would've been easier.

Trying not to think about any of that shit, my fingers itched to grab my cigarettes out of my pocket. I hadn't smoked on school grounds in a while, not since the school cracking down on their drug policies ever since the vaping epidemic of the month prior. That had to be the lamest shit ever.

Or at least I thought it was until I'd seen Colin attempting to impress Pricilla with his knowledge of India due to world history, all his facts being wrong and Ian was looking at him as if the embarrassment was rubbing off. Honestly, I didn't blame him.

I wasn't quite sure why him and Colin were even friends, they were more polar opposites than me and Ian but it just felt so natural now. Their friendship balanced itself out, apparently they had bio together freshman year and we're inseparable ever since.

It was a loud laugh from Pricilla that had gotten to me when the words, "Yeah, Canada's pretty exotic, Colin." had left the aforementioned boy's mouth, his voice sarcastic, and I couldn't help but smile a little as well.

"Shut up, Ian."

As they bickered, I couldn't stop my eyes from lingering over the brown girl on my right, her smiling amusedly at the way their fight turned from cheap comebacks to cheap shots, Colin catching a smack in the back of his head and Ian being nearly pushed out of his seat. "Both of you shut up." I had said when their fighting got to be too annoying and I knew that if I didn't do anything, they'd be like this for the rest of the day, I could barely handle them normally nevertheless in the midst of an argument.

"So Pricilla, what do you do for fun in Canada?" That's what Ian had asked after a brief pause, his voice friendly with a subtle jab in there for his best friend. The boy beside him had rolled his eyes at that and I'd wanted to tune out then. Pulling my book out from under my seat and sitting the spine on top of the rips in my jeans, opening it and unfolding the edge of the page. I was about 20 pages into Will Grayson, Will Grayson, having picked it up after my first meeting with Pricilla. She'd sent me a smirk at the realization, her lips quirking upwards as she went to answer, participating.

"Well, I assume its not that different, hm," her voice sounded far away, she seemed to think back, "we had this karaoke bar, my friends and I would go to... I skate a bit." And inside, I could already make out the jokes I'd hear from the blond across from me.

I'd looked up just in time to catch him wiggling his eyebrows at me before turning his blue eyes back on her. "You skate?" Colin had asked, his eyes lighting up with the idea that he'd be included in her plans after school, "We should go to the park later."

I didn't want to go to the fucking park, I wanted to go to Inked, but Logan was working today... I wasn't in the mood for another 'fatherly' talk from someone who had no business trying to be my father. The high I'd been feeling from fucking that morning was fading and I'd be stuck there for another few hours until school ended.

And I didn't want to go straight home, Oliver was no-doubt still there, waiting on me so we could talk about my damn skipping.

Reading my book was proving difficult by that point, Colin's seductive face not even amusing to me as he offered to show her tricks. That had only worked once for him, him and Mackenzie ended up fucking afterwards but apparently, that was a one-time thing... that didn't do much to sate his infatuation for her though. And he was still infatuated with her after I'd spent my free-time inside her weeks later, I felt kind of bad for the guy, at least I wasn't sleeping with her anymore.

This wouldn't work on Pricilla, though, unlike other girls he'd tried. Colin wasn't very good at reading girls nor was he great at realizing that not every girl would want his help nor need it.

"I know my own tricks actually." Her elbow hitting my side gently had spiked my curiosity as I lifted my head to catch her gaze, "You wanna go?" She'd asked with a quirk of her brow.

Shaking my head at that, I grimaced, thinking about how dreadful I was on a board. Mackenzie had spent the majority of our first month or two knowing each other trying to teach me how to even balance on a board but when she too realized that I was a lost case, our lessons started turning into smoke sessions. "I don't skate."

And Colin laughed, "He fucks girls who skate though, sad the talent ain't transfer."

That was a call back to the last smoke-sesh we'd had in his house. Colin's dad had a habit for leaving roaches in his ashtray and this one time, he'd been able to swipe a blunt from in between the couch cushions, it was slightly crushed but with some fixing up, we'd been able to smoke that and use his new bong with a few of the roaches he'd acquired.

In between a conversation about his latest fuck, he'd addressed how great she was at piano, referring to her as a hot-female Beethoven and wondering if he would suddenly grasp a divine natural-born talent through consummation. 'What if when we bang, energy shifts from one person to the other.'

"Huh?" I'd asked, pretending as if I didn't get it, my voice low at having not been used for hours on end.

And at the same time, Pricilla had laughed. "That's jokes." And with that, she'd muttered underneath her breath, me barely catching onto whatever she was on about. "Scientifically, maybe not, conceptually..." Her eyes went wide as she pulled her phone out and started typing on it, frantically, almost as if she were trying to catch her own thoughts and we sat like that for about two minutes as she did whatever she was doing. It was only when she smiled and muttered out something that sounded like, "banger story," that Colin furrowed his brows.

She'd looked up, catching his eyes in hers and I watched as he raised a brow. "Story?" She was a writer, I could only assume, maybe that was why she analyzed everything like a Robert Frost poem. She loved literature, I could tell and that was actually kind of hot.

"Excuse him, he doesn't read." I'd offered.

Still, she continued. "A book, later adapted into some graphic sci-fi movie, yea." But she seemed different, it wouldn't be easy to get with her, I could tell. And I mean, did I want to? I mean, looking at how Mackenzie hadn't met up with us since our last confrontation...

Colin blinked slowly, his brows furrowing and blatantly ignored that. "So, skatepark? Around 4?"

At her, "Safe," I'd finally let my mind fall into the pages and ignored whatever conversation that lingered around in the cafeteria air.

• • •

Cilla was pretty impressive on a board, but that was expected.

At least, expected for me, ever since we'd entered the skate park, Colin had been making sly remarks and subtle brags about his skating. It took Pricilla all of five seconds to wipe the smirk off his face and replace it with a face of wonder, his jaw unhinged and nearly grazing the floor as she started off with tricks that he hadn't even mastered.

She was good, so good that there wasn't much to say when she'd glided through the ramps as if it were second nature. She'd skated up the bank, twisting in the air and landing whatever shit she'd done and I could tell from looking at Colin, he himself hadn't mastered whatever trick that was. It looked complicated, her body had been completely disconnected from the board, it spinning in the air before she'd caught it with her feet, skating to the other side of the ramp and grinding the edge seamlessly.

The blond stood beside me, his hand tucked into his pocket and he hadn't even tried to play it cool, his eyes bulging out of the sockets as she skated back, completing a railslide on one of the obstacles in the park. Her tricks were done without a hitch and he'd spoken under his breath, "That shit was nasty."

"She does not need your ass, Colin." Ian had voiced, looking over at the aforementioned boy, slight sympathetic smile on his face as he patted his back, clasping a hand on his shoulder.

In quiet agreement, I'd nodded my head, watching her complete tricks that I wasn't sure existed, her hair had already been let down, black strands slapping the wind. She was talented, extremely good at what she did and I could tell she knew it too as she'd slid down the ramp and making her way towards us again.

Digging a lighter out my pockets, I'd sparked my joint, eyes catching hers as her cheeks flushed a bit with the energy she'd exerted. She was... cute, that much was obvious, her hair parted down the middle and she'd tucked a strand behind her ear when she'd caught up to us, board in her hand. "Normally I skate on a street course, this is so sick."

"That fuckin' nollie was sick, teach me." Colin had begged, his eyes probably dry with how hard he was gawking, he was nearly salivating. And I'd watched as he dragged her off, his voice exaggeratedly loud, Ian laughing beside me.

"She ain't into him." He'd spoken up and I agreed, even if the exchange was hilarious.

In the quiet air, I enhaled, smoke filling my mouth and sinking into the back of my throat. Watching on, Ian sat beside me, he seemed more interested in asking whatever question that was thrumming through his mind than actually skating. He'd seemed a little hesitant, a bit nervous as he settled beside me, pulling at his Nike t-shirt. His fidgeting had started to annoy me after a while, maybe it had to do with the heightened senses due to my high but I was tempted to ask why he looked so worried.

Holding out the joint in my hand, I offered it to him, thinking he just was too afraid to ask for it but after a hit or two, he still wouldn't stop looking at me.

"You okay?" I'd asked, wondering what had him so tied up but he looked away from me, his face scrunching up

He'd shook his head and right before I'd started to think up a response, he'd reiterated my question, "are you?" that held a deeper meaning, I could tell and I was wondering why he would even think of asking.

What? "I'm fine." I'd brushed off but Ian seemed to disbelieve that, and I didn't blame him, I wasn't talking much recently. I mean, I wasn't the most social person but there was something strange since the beginning of the year, my brother never failed to point it out but from these guys? I hadn't really expected Colin to notice but Ian was always observatory. "Why?"

Maybe thats why his shrug made me tense, "You been out of it."

"You've been talking to Mack."

And he sighed at that, "she told me about your-" he'd cut himself off, his hand going to wipe under his nose and instantly, I stood. He wasn't stupid, Mackenzie wasn't either and a few weeks ago, I'd caught her going through my bag. I didn't see much in it but when she'd brought it up a few days prior to our argument, I'd brushed it off. She wasn't the type to air out my dirty laundry, or at least, I thought she wasn't.

"The fuck she tell you for?" That confused me but also worried me, Mack wasn't gonna keep her fucking mouth shut, maybe I should've expected that but it had definitely caught me by surprise. I was angry, maybe that was what he was afraid of, it pissed me off.

Ian was alarmed at that and I didn't realize how quickly I'd stood up, crossing my arms around my body, that weird feeling in my stomach, maybe it was resentment but I'd felt it the same as I did when Mack said she didn't need me. My brother could act different around me, Logan could too but I didn't need pity from anyone at school, I definitely didn't need anyone thinking that they were better or knew what was best for me.

That mixed with my defensiveness, nobody could mind their fucking business anymore. "Yo, calm down." I didn't realize that the joint had died out by that time, just lingering in-between Ian's fingertips. I was drawing too much attention, I knew it, people already stared enough before I was angrily looming in front of my friend.

I was almost completely sure I looked insane. I never reacted like this, maybe it was a combination of things pushing me over the edge: I'd taken it upon myself to cancel the therapy session I'd had that week, mom's finances being more important than me sitting in front of a therapist for two hours dodging questions.

I hadn't been to Inked in a week now and I hadn't had a cigarette all day. Mostly, I blamed the weed, I'd been using the last of whatever I had from Devin and I was sure I wouldn't have much else for a while that coupled with the memory of how much debt I was in and how much debt my mom was in... why the fuck was I here? Snatching the joint from between his fingertips, I'd lit it again with shaking hands, stepping away.

He was saying something, standing up to stop me but I was already walking away, trying not to react any more than I would. I wasn't sure what I was doing then or what my abrupt exit would tell him and I didn't know how many people Mack had already told. All I knew was I'd left the skatepark downtown and kept walking as if Colin wasn't my ride.

I didn't know how I was gonna get home but I wasn't gonna stay there any longer.

• • •

It was later that week when I'd laid in my bed, making a plan for the eviction notice sitting in my dresser drawer accoumpanied by my old bandana collection. The contents of it had stared me down as I read it again and again, contemplating burning it but knowing that that would prove to be foolish. The debt wouldn't go away, nothing you burned was ever really gone, maybe that was why all the letters from my dad would still linger in my mind even after it were burned into charred pieces and spread across the city.

Laughter had emanated from the living room, Oliver's presence along with his fiancé taking up mom's few hours before sleep, she wasn't working that night, maybe that was the reason they were there but she barely had six hours of sleep on a regular day. She needed all the sleep she could possibly get so the sound of his voice had only succeeded in making my head hurt along with my fists clenching around the paper again.

This was the fucking reason she was working so much anyways.

Insufficiant funds, you owe...

past due rent and late charges.

Sighing, I studied the amount, she was almost five grand in debt with rent alone and I could tell that wasn't all she needed... my mother was barely getting by on bills, I wondered how long her therapy would still be paid for.

I could earn five grand, I could.

Checking my phone, I looked at the date. It was then that realized what day it was, it was Thursday and Parker had given me details about a party going on that night. Pine Lake was only a 45-minute commute, I could take mom's car said that I was hanging out with Ian, transfer the drugs, collect money, it would be that simple. These parties were worth something, delivering a few hundreds worth of weed would be worth the payout and I was almost completely sure, I could do it without getting caught.

But taking in the risks wasn't as important as the possible gain. I didn't care much about the repercussions, it was already 4, if I wanted this job, I'd have to hurry up. Dialing Parker's number, I pulled on my clothes, pushing my cigarettes into my jacket pocket. Tapping my fingertips on the bedside table, I sighed, hand shaking at the nerves racing up and down my spine. I was hungry, too, head spinning and I could tell I'd need to grab something to eat before I'd left, Parker picking up as soon as I'd entered my kitchen, his voice irritable and I had to bite into the apple I was holding to keep myself from snapping.

I'd been too worried, too anxious, this had to work.

"Nigga, I know ya pale ass ain't hittin' me up."

Not wanting to say I just forgot, I sighed, I couldn't make it seem like I wasn't serious about it, "I got caught up."

"Why should I even give you the job now?" He seemed annoyed but honestly, I didn't give a fuck. The only thing I cared about was what he was insinuating, he was thinking about hanging jump and doing it himself.

"I need it."

And Parker seemed to be mulling it over, his voice ceasing and I sat at the island in my kitchen, hand tightened around the apple as I felt myself clamming up. My blood sugar was a bit low, I could tell and that only put more emphasis on my worries.

That is until he sighed,"it's only max fifty bucks, I gotta get my cut too." And I could deal with that, it wasn't much but it was a start. "I already did the pickup, meet me on Fairway so you can drop-off."

A/N:

Updated: Wed, August 15th

It's been a long while, sorry. Since Open is ending, I'll have more time for this baby.

His whole life is falling apart, has been for a while but is Elliot making the right decision? What's he getting himself into? What do you think of him?