I crammed the last of the crudely taped cardboard boxes into my back seat and brushed hands off on my jeans. My eyes were on a continuous sweep all day, looking around for anything I might be forgetting, but as they roamed around one last time, all I found was Maverick.

His lean frame was resting against the side of my car, hands stuffed into his pockets. The deep cuts down this sides of his muscle tee left the better part of his torso exposed. It became a necessary wardrobe modification now that it was well into August and he still insisted wearing black every day of the week.

His dark eyes watched me with a curious interest and, not for the first time, I wished I had chosen to commute to the nearby community college rather than picking a university over an hour away. But it was already decided, well before Maverick and I even entertained the idea of us being together.

I had come to terms with it a long time ago, the inevitability that it would mean the end of us. It was only a couple of weeks ago that we finally had to address it. I had been avoiding the topic all summer, but Maverick could tell it was on my mind.

We were lying in bed together, still tangled in each other more so than the sheets. My head rested on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat lull me to sleep. Maverick was far from slumber, much too restless to fall under. I had grown used to falling asleep in his fidgeting arms, fingers drumming against my skin and constant shifting. I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary until the beat of his heart picked up, rapid and rushed, and then he said it.

"Do you still want to be with me after you leave for school?"

I shifted, raising my head to look him in the eye. My lips parted by no words came out. How was I supposed to tell the boy I trusted more than anyone else that I was alright with him moving on? How did I make it sound like it wasn't a lie?

"Can we talk about this is the morning," I asked, playing off the grogginess in my voice. I didn't want to face this. Not tonight, not ever.

"Just say it, Angel. I can take it."

"Well, of course I want to be with you," I began, shifting off of him. His arms reluctantly fell away so that I could.

"But?"

"But I'm not about to force you to put your life on hold for me. It's not fair. It's selfish."

He nodded and pulled me back into his chest. I slid into his hold and tried not to imagine it as an illusion. I no longer wanted to fall asleep. I needed to soak up every heartbeat, every moment we had left while I still could.

The thump in his chest never slowed, still the racing drum that played when he first posed the question. His voice rumbled through his skin, words spilling out in a rush.

"Stay with me," he blurted, "I don't care if it's selfish to say. I want you to stay with me."

I picked my head up once more, searching his eyes. Dark and desperate and waiting for an answer. I nodded.

"I'm not going anywhere."

We were so sure then, laying in each other's arms, but things seemed less certain standing here in front of each other with our last goodbyes on our lips.

I slid into his arms, letting the familiarity of the motion guide me. I pressed a light kiss to his lips, perhaps the last one for a long time, and tried to get the gravity of the situation to register. Wrapped in his casual embrace, playful eyes looking me over, it was impossible not to feel like we would be back in each other's hold in no more than a day's time.

"I'll call you when I get there. Things might be crazy with orientation and the start of the semester, but I'll try to visit soon. And I was thinking, I could try to get a job during the weekdays that way I can drive back on—"

He pressed a feverish kiss to my lips, effectively shutting me up. When he pulled back, I was stunned to silence. He offered a sheepish smile.

"You were rambling."

"I'm just nervous," I said. My teeth grazed my lower lip. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too," he echoed, but it didn't sound like his voice. It had all the conviction of fact, but the words felt awkward on his tongue.

I waited. For something. For anything. Even another "You drive me crazy, you know that?" with his irresistible smirk and smoldering dark eyes, head cocked ever so slightly to the side. Anything to make me feel like this goodbye was as bittersweet for him as it was for me.

After a few moments of searching his expression, it became clear that he wasn't going to say anything else. His arms were the only thing left to hold me together, but I had to slide out of them before I started crying.

"I should get going. I don't want to get stuck in rush hour."

He nodded and let me go, backing up a few paces so I had room to squeeze into my car between all the boxes and crates. We said our goodbyes and I promised I would call him once more, a thoughtless reflex that elicited another faint, crooked smile.

In an instant I was already halfway down the road with his figure fading into a spec in my rearview mirror.

I've got my whole life ahead of me. A roommate to meet, classes to take, parties to crash, experiences to drown myself in, and yet I couldn't find it in me to be excited about any of it. I wasn't even nervous. It was a fleeting thought, background noise. All my focus lay on the boy I was leaving behind and who he might find without me.

A turn down Preston and a left onto High street and then my phone was ringing. Careful to keep my eyes on the road, I groped around the center console and stuck it between my cheek and shoulder.

"Hello?"

"Turn the car around." Maverick's voice shot through the speaker like gunfire.

"What did I forget?"

"Nothing — I mean — You've just got to come back for a minute. I'm sorry I've waited so long to say this but you've gotta come back."

"Yeah, sure," I said. I aimed for light-hearted but I was certain he could hear the mix of confusion and fear that swarmed my words. My mind was tumbling in all sorts of directions, reaching for answers, dancing around the one I feared most.

Anxiety cut me from the inside out, only growing worse when Maverick's far-away figure came into view. He was pacing the sidewalk in front of my house. I parked the car and hardly made it out of the door before he enveloped me in a tight hug. I was frozen and stiff at first, but melted into his touch.

"Maverick, what's going on?" A laugh bubbled out of me in light of his odd behavior, but the desperate severity of his actions set me on edge. I was still worried and it showed in my voice.

He peeled back enough to cup my face, his dark eyes cutting into mine with white hot fire. A mix of emotions battled over his face, hesitation wrapping them altogether. His words were caught between his teeth, to nervous to let them out.

"It's okay," I assured him. My hand rested over his. "You can say it."

"I love you," he blurted.

The world froze. Nothing existed outside the crinkle around his eyes and the arc of his lips and the fear that surged in his eyes. We'd never said that to each other before. This was the first time.

"I love you, and I know you don't believe in any of that shit so I don't expect you to say it back, but I needed to tell you before you were gone. I love you so damn much."

I stared at him. Lips parted, eyes wide, and body still frozen. I never imagined we would get this far, that we would fall this deep. I didn't even need to think about it. The words just came tumbling out.

"I love you too," I said, my voice still caught in all the fear and elation and relief. I kissed him and I kissed him hard, ignoring the way our teeth clashed together on impact.

A smile slipped onto his face. It was childish and unapologetic and all the things I had grown to love about him. He pulled me back into my chest, arms wrapped tight enough around me to make it difficult to breathe. I didn't mind. I didn't need to right now.

"I'm going to miss you so much," he said. His face was burried in my shoulder. I could hardly make out the words.

"I'll call you. All the time," I promised, "and I'll be back on the weekends to visit. We can go to Logan's with the boys and hang around the house and have really great sex—"

"—the best—"

"—and we can go on late night drives. It will be just like normal. You'll hardly notice I'm gone."

I can't remember when I started crying, but by the time I was finished, Maverick's shirt was stained with my tears.

I didn't care that this world was screwed up or that our future was uncertain or that we might turn into my parents in an instant. We were just us. Our love was honest and volatile and imperfect, but it was enough. 

+       +       +       +       +

It's been suggested to me that I write a chapter from Mav's POV. Would you rather have a past chapter / scene rewritten from his perspective or something entirely new?

Also, I promise I have been working on the new story. I've decided I'm going to completely finish the first draft before I start rewriting and posting though, that way the update schedule will be consistent despite my classes.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well. May the universe bless you with good grades and lots of sleep. I know I sure as hell could use it.