Panimula

"Happy 19th birthday po, Andria."

Inabot ko sa kanya ang paperbag na kanina ko pa hawak pero hindi niya ito kinuha. She squealed when she saw me and immediately kissed me on the cheek.

When my Mommy said not to worry even though Andria and I are not really close, I didn't actually thought that Andria will be like this —smooching almost everyone.

"Glad that you came, sis! Oh, there's a section for the gifts. There oh," itinuro niya 'yung maliit na table pero punong-puno na ng mga regalo.

The gifts were near the beverages. Amoy ko na agad ang matapang na alak na nakalagay sa isang long table. The classic red cups used for house parties are scattered in different places, different kind of chips were also almost every where, and I don't even want to talk about the people who were getting a little too wild for their age.

My grip on the paperbag tightens. That's a lot of gifts, there are probably a lot of people here too.

"E-excuse me, yes, thank you..." I was pushing my way through the gifts section. Marami ang umatras, umusog at umurong upang makadaan ako.

I don't even know why I'm suppose to be here. I know my Mommy is trying to gain favors for Andria's parents since this is the subdivision where we also reside but I don't think I should be the one currying favors for them.

I heaved a sigh as my shoulders slumped.

Maybe, this has something to do with their influence with the neighborhood. Kaya naman malayang nagkaroon ng ganitong klaseng party sa subdivision namin.

It was almost like a typical house party from American teenage flicks. I heard Andria came from the states, this is probably why she's kind of liberated and freely does what she wants.

And her parents let her.

Lucky her.

My mission was successful. Nalagay ko naman ang regalo ko sa lalagyan ng mga regalo niya. It was all piled up and no one is actually watching over it.

I fetched my phone to check if my Mommy or Daddy already contacted me. Ang sabi nila ay susunduin daw nila ako kapag masyado nang gabi. I agreed because first of all, I didn't even want to be here in the first place.

The mob of people went rowdy as the song keeps on blasting. Ako naman ay agad na napatakip sa aking mga tenga.

I saw some people looking towards me and smirking.

"Philomena!" Andria went towards me and I gave her a smile. She returned it as she handed me a paperbag. "Can you put this on the gift section? I'm kind of dizzy and I might destroy the arrangements..."

I nodded and reached for the paperbag.

"Sige po, ilalagay ko po muna ito." Itinaas ko pa ang paperbag na galing sa kanya. I didn't mean to check it out but the paperbag wasn't even properly wrapped, kitang-kita ko ang polaroid sa loob nito. Nice gift.

"Enjoy, Mena! Let's talk later, okay?" Andria said but as soon as I turn to talk to her —she was already gone.

Napahawak ako sa mga braso ko, secretly embracing myself. I was really shy when it comes to gatherings, lalo na ngayon na wala ako masyadong kakilala rito.

I went to the table to put the gift. Andria sure does have a lot of friends. I don't even know why I have to be here. We only met through our parents, there's really no deep link.

This was the first night party that my parents approved. Sila pa mismo ang pumilit sa akin na pumunta. Most of the time, they don't even allow me to attend. Bigyan ko na lang daw ng regalo.

I was just there, silently observing the people around the house as they bump into each other. Para lang akong nanonood ng live na teenage flick. I wonder if police would come too because that's where the fun starts in films.

I don't know how people enjoy parties like these...

Ang ingay. Ang gulo. Ang kalat pa.

Andria is older than me, kaya naman halos mga mas matanda sa akin ang mga bisita rito. Pero sa palagay ko, may iilan na underage rin dahil may mga juice at soda na nakalagay sa long table.

I roamed my eyes around, finding a new space to spend the night for a while.

Wala ba siyang kwarto rito na hindi ginagamit? Gusto ko na lang magkulong at magbasa roon ng libro.

I didn't want to be a party pooper but I wanted some silence and peace. Sa dumadagundong na kanta ay hindi ko mahanap ito.

I adjusted my eyeglasses.

"Fuck, bakit may na-exorcist dito?"

I was startled. May sumusuka na sa gilid pero imbis na mandiri ay nagawa pa nilang tumawa. My hand flew into my mouth. That's disgusting, no offense!

"Susuka lang pero hindi..." the guy trailed on.

"Lulunukin!" sigaw nung babae na sumusuka.

Napapikit na lang at napa-sign of the cross. Kailangan ko ng gabay para malagpasan ang gabing ito.

That is so gross!

"Nasaan ba si Janz? Tawagin niyo na nga nang mauwi na niya itong si Abegail." the guy looked around and his eyes spot me.

I gulped. I wanted to help but I didn't want to smell like vomit. She was practically puking almost every where.

"Hey, can you call Janz for us? Thanks!"

Wala akong nagawa kundi tumango. Nakakahiya rin kasing tumanggi. Pero sino ba si Janz?

I look around the house despite the swarm of people trying to block my way. Naghahanap ng maaaring matanungan kung may kilala ba silang Janz.

I spotted someone who looks familiar. He was also there when I enrolled for my senior highschool. Pareho 'yata kami ng strand dahil sa pagkakatanda ko ay nasa iisang lane lang kami noon.

I gather up the remaining courage I have and decided to approach him to ask.

"Hello po, may kilala po ba kayong Janz?" tanong ko sa isang lalaki na may hawak na red cup. Nakikipaglaro siya ng beerpong pero nagawa niya akong lingunin.

His brows knitted as he signalled to his opponent to stop. He slowly nodded his head and turned around to face me.

"Si Jance? Nandoon 'yata sa itaas. Do you want me to find him?"

Tumango naman ako. He smiled and gesture me to follow him.

Sinundan ko naman siya. He seems harmless and he was talking to me while we were walking upstairs.

"Strand mo?"

"HUMSS po," I politely answered.

He nods, he looks satisfied.

"HUMSS? Nice."

Kahit alam ko naman na pareho kami ng strand, I decided to ask him too for formality.

"Ikaw po?"

"HUMSS din." He answered, expectedly.

Tumango-tango naman ako. I hope if ever we'll have our paths crossed again, it won't be because of a party. This party is already making me dizzy, partida ay hindi naman ako umiinom.

The guy pointed towards a room. The room was dimmed when he opened the door. Unti-unti nitong pinakita ang dalawang anino na mukhang naguusap.

In the corner of a room, a guy was talking with a girl. Both of them were laughing but the girl looked flustered. The guy was trying to get away from her but the girl is cornering him.

Hawak-hawak siya ng babae sa kanyang bisig. The guy was obviously trying to move away, he was even laughing while moving his fingers side to side indicating a 'no'.

"Jance, may naghahanap sa'yo." The guy beside me called him.

Tumingin naman si Janz at nagtaas ng kilay. Medyo napalunok ako ng sarili kong laway.

There's this trope when it comes to house parties — among everyone, the one that stands out the most is either the new clothed nerd or the infamous badboy.

This guy infront of me is the latter. His brooding eyes, defined jaw, high bridge nose and pinkish lips is exactly the reason why the girl won't let him get away.

He looked like a fictional character. The golden boy who had a bad streak but is actually quite gentle. He was sporting a modern quiff cut and his features were almost foreign. Para siyang 'yung mga badboy na nababasa ko sa mga libro. Naka-itim lang siyang shirt pero ang lakas ng dating niya.

"Jance, just stay! Kahit seven minutes lang..."

"Like seven minutes in heaven? Ganun ba?" Jance kidded, still removing the grip of the girl from his arm.

"Well..." the girl was blushing. She was clearly drunk.

Tumikhim ako para kuhanin muli ang kanilang atensyon. The girl looked over me and her eyes turned to slits.

Jance didn't even spare glance and completely moved away from the girl, he decided to switch on the lights.

His dimples were showing when he was smirking to the girl who was trying to make him stay.

He decided to turn to us with a lopsided grin on his face.

"Sino?" he tilted his head to us and asked in a playful tone.

Tinuro ako nung lalaking kasama ko.

"May nagpapahanap lang po sa inyo," I affirmed and bobbed my head.

Matagal na dumapo ang tingin niya sa akin. He was observing me, ako na mismo ang yumuko dahil hindi ako sanay.

"Okay," he dismissively said.

We were about to go outside when the girl yelled. "Iscalade!"

Nagulat ako nang hatakin siya nung babaing kasama niya. Obviously, she was trying to get his attention. Baka kalandian?

Janz or Iscalade, smiled and lightly remove the girl's grip on his arm again. Mukhang hinayang na hinayang ang babae.

"Hey, I have to go."

The girl was pouting.

"Pero Iscalade —"

"You're drunk too, you clearly need to be with your friends now. Icarus, can you guide her to her friends? Sina Elaine."

Iscalade or Janz turned his attention to Icarus.

"Mukha ba talaga akong errand boy sa inyo?" Icarus, the guy beside me arched an eyebrow.

"Hindi, mukha ka lang katulong." Halakhak ni Janz.

"The difference?" Icarus look annoyed.

"English." Janz smirked then look at me. He waved his hand at me, probably to acknowledge my existence.

I only smiled. He was charismatic.

Walang nagawa si Icarus kung hindi ihatid 'yung babae. At first, the girl was disappointed but when she saw Icarus' face, narinig ko siyang nagsabi ng 'pwede na' but she kept on pouting and looking back at Janz.

Kami naman ni Janz ay bumaba na para puntahan 'yung nagpapatawag sa kanya. Pero naguluhan ako nang makitang may nakaalalay na roon sa babaing sumusuka kanina.

"Hala, sino 'yan?" Turo nung nag-utos sa akin.

"Si Janz?" I was confused.

"Di 'yan si Janz! Ito na si Janz oh," Dinuro niya ang isang babae na binubuhat 'yung babaing sumusuka kanina.

The person apologetically gave a smile to Iscalade.

"Sorry sa abala, Iscalade. Di namin alam na di niya kilala si Janz. "

"Okay lang, dude. Kailangan niyo pa ba ng tulong?" nagsalita si Iscalade at akmang lalapit na sana para tumulong.

Umiling-iling naman 'yung lalaki.

"Goods na kami. Enjoy the party na lang!" sabi nung lalaki at tumulong na sa paglabas sa kaibigan nila.

I bit my nail because of my honest mistake. Pareho kasi ng tunog kaya naman nagkamali 'yata ng turo si Icarus...

This is awkward.

"Sorry po, di ko po alam na hindi ikaw si Janz." I apologized.

He shook his head and offered a grin.

"Well technically I'm Jance, Iscalade Jance nga lang."

Then I remembered the girl, na mukhang balak niya 'yatang maka-seven minutes in heaven — because of the sudden interruption, I think I disturbed them.

"Sorry kasi naudlot ka sa nilalandi mo," I really felt awful.

I know the struggle. Mahirap na ngayon makahanap ng kalandian. The feeling that there is seven billion people in the world but you feel like no one is made for you.

Sabi ko na dapat di na ako pumunta rito e. Napasapo ako sa aking noo dahil sa hiya.

"Seryoso ka ba?" he ask, his mouth was slightly parted.

"Sorry po talaga. Makakahanap ka pa naman ng mas better. Gusto mo tulungan na lang kitang mag—"

"Ba't pa ako maghahanap? Nandiyan ka naman?"

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya.

"Kuya, huwag po." Hindi ko napigilan ang bibig ko. Napunta ang kamay ko sa bibig ko.

Nanglaki ang mga mata niya saka tumawa nang malakas.

"Grabe naman, di naman ako manyak. At saka, I'm not here to flirt. Mukha ba akong malandi?"

Hindi ako sumagot. Silence means yes.

"Judgemental ka ha!" he pretended to be hurt, hawak-hawak pa niya ang dibdib niya.

"Sorry po," ang sama ko nga dahil hinusgahan ko siya kaagad dahil mukha siyang fuckboy.

Pero totoo naman.

He chuckled. "Nah, I'm kidding."

"Iscalade," he extended his hand.

"Philomena," I smiled as I accepted his hand. Bigla naman nawala ang ngiti niya.

"Damn, wala pa akong alam sa philo. Grade eleven pa lang ako." Kumunot ang noo niya.

Huh?

"I'm actually a grade eleven too," I shared.

"Strand mo?" he asks and offered me a seat on one of the recliners that is available. Since my feet were hurting already, I decided to politely accept.

"HUMSS po, ikaw po?"

"STEM..." he reached for a bottle of soda that is placed on the side of a huge flatscreen TV.

I was about to tell him it's rude to drink something that isn't yours when my phone rung. Agad ko itong kinuha at nakatanggap ako ng text kay Mommy.

Mommy:

It's already 8pm. Tapos na ba ang party?

I decided to answer while Iscalade was eyeing me with curiosity. Unti-unti niyang nilapit ang soda can sa kanyang labi kahit hindi niya tinatanggal ang tingin sa akin.

Philomena:

Kakasimula pa lang po 'yata.

Mommy:

Can you go home already?
It's getting late.

I exasperatedly sighed. Bakit pa ba ako pinapunta rito kung uuwi rin agad ako? Not that I mind, but this is draining my energy. Hindi na lang sana ako pinapunta. I knew it, this is why I can't even enjoy this a bit because I know eventually I have to go home early.

Kanina, I really wanted to go home. Pero ngayon ay meron kasi akong kasama kaya nahihiya ako magpaalam. Paano kung isumbong ako nito na tumakas? Andria might be offended and she might think I didn't enjoy the party. Still, I replied to appease my Mom.

Philomena:

Yes po.

"Sorry po, I have to go..." paalam ko kay Iscalade. Nagkaroon ng yupi ang kanyang noo dahil sa sinabi ko.

"Are you like cinderella or what? Why the rush?" tanong niya, his voice sounded sweet.

I frowned upon hearing it. Is this the playboy effect? Nope, this is probably just me judging him too quickly. I dismiss the thought and gave him a quick nod.

"My parents were the ones who wanted me to be here," I answered. "And now they want me to go home."

Tumingin siya sa kanyang relo - ang kanyang relo ay rolex. I giggled in my imagination, that sounded like a tongue twister. I contained my laughter.

"It's too early, Philo..." lumapit siya sa akin. "Can you at least stay for a bit? I know a place where you'll probably enjoy something..."

"No, sorry po." I declined curtly. "I have to go. Magulang ko po ang nag-utos, I have to follow. Sorry po."

He pouted like a sweet child.

"I just thought you'd like to see the mini library..."

Nanglaki ang mga mata ko. "The what po?"

Did he just say library? In this house? How did he know?

Ngumisi siya. He won. He knew he won when I showed interest.

My cheeks immediately turned crimson.

Interest for books, of course.

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