Kabanata 8

When our SUV parked at the garage, I saw the helpers tending the garden. Bumaba na ako ng kotse, hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit naisipan ni Mommy ang magpagawa ng isang lugar para sa mga halaman kung hindi naman pala siya ang magaalaga nito. It seems like it was the trend and she was just joining the bandwagon.

"Magandang hapon, Ma'am Philo!" an energetic helper, Flora, greeted me.

Ngumiti ako at tumugon. "Magandang hapon din po."

Sa bulwagan pa lamang ay naririnig ko na ang matitinis na boses ng kababaihan. Ah, it must be her friends. Anong araw na ba ngayon? They were mostly here when it was weekends since it was the day where my Dad is busy because of work hence he won't be home.

I walked in with a ready made smile prepared for them. Sa ilang beses nilang pagpunta rito, I won't be surprise anymore if they threw me with some flattery.

"Nandiyan na pala si Philomena." Tita Harlena cast me a glance before a small smile was planted on her lips.

Tumango ako at agad na pumunta sa sala kung nasaan sila. The diamond studded chandelier from spain was rising above us, creating a more elegant atmosphere in our home. As far as I know, this was ordered just weeks ago. Ito 'yata ang dahilan bakit may kumpulan dito dahil gusto itong ipagyabang ni Mommy.

I immediately gave them a kiss on their cheeks upon seeing them. At tulad nga ng inaasahan ko, they were praising me just because I'm their friend's daughter.

"Ang gandang bata ni Philomena, she had your looks!" Tita Juana praised.

"Your daughter looks a lot like you, Priscilla." Tita Harlena says.

"She's really shy though, hindi ko tuloy siya masali sa mga pageants." My Mom sighed, halata ang dismaya sa kanyang boses.

My mother was a beauty queen while my father used to be one of the sponsors when it comes to the biggest pageantry here in the Philippines. My Mom used to be in the limelight, hanggang sa nabuntis siya at kinailangan niya munang umalis sa mata ng mga camera.

Everyone almost predicted that her child will soon take over her crown.

Pero hindi naman dumating ang araw na 'yon.

I didn't have her confidence when it comes to pageants. The only thing that is notable for me is my record of winning debates in school. Pero hindi naman ito impromptu, I was only good when I have a script to follow.

"Sayang naman," Tita Harlena chuckled evasively. "My Arlene on the other hand is getting crowns after crowns! She just won Ms. Arturo Thornton University last year."

Most of her friends clapped their hands showing their support. My Mom was the only one who didn't, nanatiling nakahawak sa isang champagne glass ang kanyang kamay. My forehead started creating bullets of sweat, Kinakabahan ako na baka hindi niya mapigilan ang kanyang mga salita. My Mom can really be scandalous sometimes.

"Congrats, diyan din naman ako nagsimula." My Mom forced a smile and remained her posture."Malayo pa ang mararating ni Arlene."

"I know! Gusto nga niya magpaturo sa'yo dahil alam niya rin naman na hindi magaling si Philomena sa mga pageants at mahiyain ang anak mo." Tita Harlena prodded my Mom's annoyance. Kitang-kita ko kung paano unti-unting napawi ang ngiti ni Mommy.

Tita Harlena's hand flew to her mouth. Agad siyang tumingin sa akin para humingi ng paumanhin, I can only shook my head with a smile. I'm not offended, Ma'am but I could not say the same for my mother because she look beyond pissed po.

"I'd rather make Philomena focus on her studies more because I learned well that beauty is ephemeral," my Mom sipped on her champagne. Tumawa lamang si Tita Harlena.

"Anong strand ba ni Philomena?"

"HUMSS po," I replied. Alam kong napipigtas na ang pasensya ni Mommy, isa pa sigurong maling tanong ay baka sumabog na siya.

"Oh? Anong kukuhanin mo sa college?" Tita Juana cocked a brow.

I didn't have a concrete answer. Alam ko naman ang dapat kong i-sagot. The sole reason I was in this strand because I'm preparing for law school. Pero parang may humihila sa aking dila na pinipigilan akong sabihin ang mga salitang ito.

"She's taking any course related to law, Juana." Mommy answered passively. "Sabi ko nga, she's taking her studies seriously. Gusto niya sumunod sa Daddy niya."

"Ah, gano'n ba?" Tita Juana's gaze went to my direction, her forehead forming a crease.

There was a deafening silence between Tita Harlena and my Mom. Halata ang hidwaan dahil sa mga nasabi ni Tita tungkol sa pagiging beauty queen ng kanyang anak. This was a blow for my Mom's ego, dahil alam ko naman na kung hindi lang ako mahiyain ay baka matagal na rin akong sumasali ng mga pageants.

It's not like I never tried. I did when I was a lot younger, pero dahil 'yon ang unang labas ko at hindi ako masyadong nakikihalubilo sa mga tao — I didn't have any confidence with me. I was always inside our home, takot kasi si Mommy na baka masugatan ako o magkaroon ng peklat kapag naglaro ako sa labas. She was grooming me to be like her but in the end, I was considered a failure of her younger self.

"I told Douglas to take more tutoring classes nga e, para sa mga entrance exam niya. I want him to pass all the CETs." Tita Kiara ranted, pertaining to her son.

"I remembered Arlene passing all of her CETs before. Madali lang 'yon, ano ka ba?" Tita Harlena boasted, chuckling.

"Oh, really? I heard she only applied on two CETs, the ones who were not that known. At ang balita ko pa, nag-donate pa raw ang asawa mo sa dalawang school na 'yon?" My Mom chimed in, flashing a smile.

Tita Harlena was dumbfounded, her jaw fell upon hearing my Mom's statement. Agad naman na sumipol si Tita Juana nang mahina, and Tita Kiara was shock. My eyes widened because of the sudden outburst that my Mom did.

The atmosphere was slowly forming a cold war. Agad akong tumikhim nang mahina.

"G-gusto niyo p-po ba ng cookies? M-marunong po ako mag-bake..." I raised my hand timidly, trying to give some damage control.

"Go on, darling. Thank you," Tita Juana laughed heartily.

Dumiretso na ako sa kusina. I hope I'll remember the measurements well, baka mawala ako sa bilang dahil sa iniisip ko na maaaring mas maging malala ang sagutan nila. They are always talking about their children, I'm aware of that fact. Pero ngayon ko lang nakitang gano'n ang reaksyon ni Mommy.

I opened the refrigerator and saw that I already had a leftover chocolate chips dough, kahapon ko lang naman ito nagawa — I'll probably do chewy chocolate chips cookies instead of regular ones since I already had the dough.

After that, I preheated the oven and prepared the silicone baking mats for the cookies. I formed the dough into balls, putting them on the cookie sheet as I finished shaping them.

I put it on the oven and waited for it to be cooked. I decided to create two batches, isa para sa mga kaibigan ni Mommy at isa naman para sa mga kasama namin sa bahay.

As I brought them the chewy chocolate chips cookies, napansin ko na iba na ang kanilang pinaguusapan. Yet, it was still about their children and their personal lives.

"I told Douglas not to hang out with his friends nga, ang bad influence! He used to study for four hours! Ngayon, two hours na lang!" Tita Kiara fumed.

"Arlene has good friends! Mga anak ng mga artista, politiko, at mga kilalang personalidad! I really raised my daughter well," Tita Harlena says.

Agad namang bumaling ang atensyon nila sa akin nang maamoy ang cookies na dinala ko. I place the plate of cookies in the table for them. Agad naman silang kumuha rito maliban kay Mommy na hanggang ngayon ay wala sa mood.

I sat down beside my Mom and waited for their reactions as they taste the cookies I made.

"It's kind of salty?" Ngumiwi si Tita Harlena.

My brows immediately furrowed in dismay. I'm sure that even if it was already a leftover dough, it can still be use. I hope Tita Harlena won't be mad at me, hindi ko naman alam na magiging maalat. I feel bad for making her eat something salty for her taste.

"Masarap siya, it's actually sweet and chewy." Tita Juana formed a sweet smile. "Hindi siya maalat, Harlena. Ikaw 'yata ang maalat dito."

Tita Kiara chortled. "That's true! Masarap siya, Hija. Can I take some home for my Douglas? You can even build your own bakery if you want to. It's really delicious!"

Namula naman ako sa mga papuri. My baking skills are not that good yet. I'm still learning so I don't think I can have my own bakery. My Mom laughed at those compliments and decided to rubbed my back.

"Philomena has a talent for baking. Si Arlene ba?" Mom switched her sight to Tita Harlena.

Tita Harlena gulped and washed away the taste of my cookies by drinking on her champagne glass.

"I'll enroll her to baking classes, how hard can baking be?"

Bumuntong hininga na lamang ako. This is an endless cycle of comparing. I just don't get why parents are constantly trying to compete using their children. As if the proof of them being great parents are measured by the achievements of their children.

✿✿✿

"A-ano?" I was trembling as she yanked me to the auditoriurm.

"Absent si Mila, Philo! Wala tayong representative! Ikaw na lang muna!" Crisel snickered.

I shook my head profusely.

It was an impromptu speech, at alam ng lahat na hindi ako magaling dito. My heart was already racing at the thought of people watching me in front of the stage unprepared. Parang tumatambol ang puso ko sa sobrang kabog nito.

"P-please, iba n-na lang po." I pleaded, nibbling my lip.

"C'Mon! How hard can it be? Madali lang 'yon, Philo! Kayang-kaya mo 'yon!" Pamimilit niya.

Kinaladkad niya ako papasok sa loob ng auditorium. She pushed me inside the backstage with the other contestants. I veered my sight at them and saw that almost all of them had confidence oozing within them.

It was a familiar feeling. My heart was hammering against my chest. My knees are wobbling and I can't move even an inch.

My throat felt dry as I licked my lips because I'm nervous. There are still a line of contestants, may ilang oras pa ako para magbasa tungkol sa mga topics. Pero hindi ko magawa. Hindi ako makakilos. My mind is constantly being looped into a blank state.

"Philo?" a reassuring voice called me. Agad ko naman itong nilingon.

Iscalade has his hands on his pockets, he was examining me before flashing me his charming smile. He really looked laidback.

"Hi! Kasali ka rin pala?" he lifted his brows while his lips are slightly parted.

"Iscalade..." my voice was betraying me. "Can y-you help me?"

"Sure..." he nodded his head slowly. "With what though?"

"C-can y-you help me r-run away?"

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜