Kiss - Thyro, Yumi

Kabanata 39

Humikab ako, I look at the ceiling with the chandelier lights illuminating the whole room while my mind was absorbing the content of the emails that I've received. Wala akong nakuha kay Mommy at Daddy pero naiintindihan ko naman kung bakit gano'n na lamang ang nangyari. Maybe we can finally part ways without having to say goodbyes. The emails I sent them are already the closure we needed for now.

It is easier to cut off ties when both parties seems to be relieved with the idea of drifting apart from each other. Mas maluwag sa puso kahit parang ang hirap masanay na wala na sila sa tabi mo.

Tumihaya ako ngunit napatayo na rin para bumaba at tumulong sa paghanda ng breakfast naming tatlo. Tuwing weekends lang naman nandito si Lavender. She just visits often but she still lives somewhere else.

Nasa dulo na ako ng hagdanan nang makita ko na may pagkain na sa hapagkainan. My eyes widened in amazement. Napuno ng iba't-ibang putahe ang mahabang lamesa namin. Tita Juana was grinning at Yna who looked flustered. Siya kaya ang nagluto? Bakas sa mukha ni Tita Juana ang panunukso.

Kumain kami kahit parang tulala si Yna at mukbang balisa. Tita Juana on the other hand ate with satisfaction. Kahit ako ay hindi rin masyadong nakipagdaldalan dahil sa sarap nung mga pagkain. I'll probably ask Yna to teach me how to cook!

I decided to wash the dishes first before asking Tita Juana if I can go out. After receiving the email from Iscalade, we talked and decided that we should at least meet up. Hindi pa ako nagkakape pero daig ko pa ang nakainom ng sampung baso dahil sa patuloy na pagkabog nang mabilis ng aking puso.

I went towards their garden. Si Tita Juana ay isang plantita ayon kay Yna. She take cares of her plants really well unlike how Mom treats the plants in our home. Inaalagaan naman nung mga hardinero 'yung sa amin pero hindi mismo si Mommy 'yung naga-asikaso ng mga tinanim sa aming bakuran.

The foliage of plants created a magnificient view of her garden. Halatang buhay na buhay ang kan'yang mga tinanim. This isn't my first time here, while I was recovering my cheeks I tend to stay here because of the fresh air and the smell of the blooming flowers.

Inilag ko ang sarili ko sa init. The scorching sun was scalding my skin. Pumunta ako sa lilim kung saan may natagpuan ako.

I halted from walking upon noticing that someone was already here. Isang tindig ng isang lalaking nakatanaw sa mga namumulaklak na mga pananim ang nadatnan ko. He immediately tilted his head and his grey eyes made me almost gasped.

Bukod sa mga mata niyang tila abo ang kulay, he looked pretty as those flowers he was looking at. He looked too pretty for a boy but his stance made him more man than any other men. I can't help but be amazed.

"Hello," banayad niyang bati. For a few seconds, I thought I was voiceless. He sounded more cold than Lavender. Pero nakangiti siya sa akin, he even looked friendly. I smiled back too.

"Uh, hello rin po..." I greeted back. "Sino po kayo?"

"Etienne," he briefly answered. Binalik niya ang kan'yang tingin sa mga bulaklak. He looked at me again, this time his eyes had a glint of mischief.

"Philomena, right?"

"O-opo," I nodded abruptly, nervous because he knows my name. "Tatawagin ko lang po si Tita Juana. Bisita po ba kayo?"

"Nah, wala rin naman dito 'yung pinunta ko." He answered, shrugging.

He smirked and tilted his head.

"Anyway, can I ask you something?"

"Ano po 'yon?" my heart started palpitating with his sudden movement.

"If being chained is easier, why would you pursue your freedom?"

Napatda ako sa tanong niya. I looked at him with a baffled expression. He seems interested with my answer. Bigla akong napalunok.

"Because..." I trailed on, searching for the right answer. I looked at him straight in his eyes. "You are never going to know your own capabilities and who you truly are if you keep on closing your eyes and believing that being chained is easier than having your own freedom."

He sighed, like he didn't like my answer. Ang mga kamay niya ay nasa kan'yang mga bulsa. He was wearing a simple white polo shirt but it made him more attractive.

"What a bore," he pretended to yawn but immediately grinned at me. "But I like your answer, Ate."

✿✿✿

Yna immediately separated me from Etienne after seeing that we were together. She glared at Etienne before pulling me apart from him. Nag-wave pa ako kay Etienne para magpaalam, he waved back while smiling mischieviously.

"May sinabi ba sa 'yo 'yung lalaki na 'yon?" Yna asked, concern plastered on her face. Agad naman akong umiling.

"Wala naman po, he was really nice po." I smiled at Yna. Agad naman siyang bumuntonghininga.

"Lahat naman kasi sa 'yo ay mabait e." She simply shook her head and smiled back.

After talking about our brief interaction, may tumawag kay Yna sa cellphone n'ya kaya naman nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na magpaalam kay Tita Juana. Pumunta ako kay Tita Juana na nasa office n'ya ngayon sa ikalawang palapag ng bahay na ito. I saw her reading some medical books on her desk, a serious expression plastered on her face. Ang sabi niya sa akin, hindi raw talaga natatapos sa paga-aral ang mga doktora at doktor. Even if they're already professionals, naga-aral pa rin sila.

"Tita Juana," I called for her attention. Agad siyang nag-angat ng tingin sa akin. She immediately smiled upon seeing me.

"I can help you to move out and find a place near your university," she stated calmly, pinagdaop pa niya ang kan'yang mga palad. "Nakahanap ka na ba ng lilipatan?"

"P-papayag ka po talaga?"

"Of course, Philo. It is your life, after all. my role as a guardian is only to guide you not to control you. Pero syempre, 'yan lamang ang aking happy thoughts. Hindi lahat ganiyan ang pananaw..." she chortled which made me giggle too.

"Thank you po..." I said, sounding as grateful as possible. Binigyan niya lamang ako ng isang tipid na ngiti.

I decided to move out even if it means I'm getting out of my comfort zone. I received a text from Iscalade, using my new number. We'll meet tonight and I can't help but feel anxious. Pakiramdam ko ay ang tagal na no'ng huli naming paguusap. Hindi rin naging maganda ang mga huling araw na naging magkasama kami. Can we even patch things up?

My heart was pitter pattering while waiting on a retro themed diner. Sumimsim pa ako sa vanilla milkshake habang nakadungaw sa malaking bintana. The neon signs outside the diner made me realized that I'm finally enjoying trips without curfews. I also admire the starry night and watch how some of the stars vanished from my sight as new ones appear, shining brighter.

Napalingon ako nang may namataan akong Hilux at lalo akong kinabahan nang bigla itong mag-park. I was anticipating Iscalade to go out from the car and he did. He was wearing his usual shirt and khaki pants. Ito rin 'yung suot n'ya no'ng gabi na pumunta kami rito para mag-drivethru. I immediately gulped, did he looked more gorgeous now or did I really just miss him?

I started fidgeting my fingers, trying to come up with excuses on how to greet him. I don't know how to be casual with someone I ignored for at least a month! Hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya babatiin na para bang hindi ako naglayas at nagtago sa kanila. I stood up and tried to muster up the courage to go confront him.

Lumabas na ako ng diner para salubungin siya. Agad siyang lumingon sa akin nang makita akong papalapit sa kan'ya.

"Uh, hi..." I opened my mouth to greet him but I immediately lost the spirit to greet him casually. Kinakain na naman ako ng aking kaba at waring napipi ang aking dila dahil bigla akong natigilan.

"Ano...." he rubbed his nape. Tumingin siya sa akin at biglang natawa. I also laughed because of our awkward interaction.

"Philo..." he also looked like he was lost for words. "Are you okay? Kamusta ka na?"

"I'm fine," my stomach churned upon realizing that my feelings didn't even change a bit. Siya at siya pa rin talaga. "Kayo po?"

"Hindi ako okay," umamin siya at bumuntonghininga. "I really got worried..."

I bit my lip because of guilt. It was my fault for not telling him. I reached for his hand and gently squeezed it.

"I'm sorry po..." my heart sank while saying those words.

"I'm sorry too," he gently squeezed my hand back.

"I didn't want to lie, pero magulang mo kasi 'yon. I didn't want you to have bad impressions on them. Pero ang mali ko lang dahil pinangunahan kita. All I want is for you to have their validation but I forgot that you don't need anyone's validation aside from your own. I'm sorry, Philo."

Bahagya akong nagulat nang ilapat niya ang kan'yang pisngi sa aking mga palad. He looked at me with his puppy eyes and it made my heart convulsed, feelings surging into my chest.

"I'm not the right person to tell you to forgive your parents. But I hope you'll find the heart to forgive them when the day comes..." aniya. "Philomena, what you did may look like it is wrong but trust me when I tell you it's the best decision you've made. You've grown a lot, love."

Iniwan ako ni Iscalade sa likod ng Hilux niya na kumakabog ang dibdib. He told me he haven't eaten yet so he'll grab some snacks. Hinintay ko siya habang iniisip kung totoo na ba talaga ang nangyayari sa paligid ko.

Bumalik siya na may dalang pagkain. It made me furrowed my brows because it was the exact food that he ordered before. Noong umamin siya sa akin, maybe it is also a coincidence that this was the exact spot where he confessed.

He lifted his sight on me, tila nanunuyo ang mga mata. The way he looked at me makes me gasp for air.

"Remember what you told me in the email?" he asked, using his honeyed tone. Tumango ako.

"That if...we can bring back that night..." I can see his adam's apple moving, he looked nervous. "You'll kiss me without regretting anything..."

"Do you want a kiss?" I asked straightforwardly, leaning towards him.

"H-hoy! Bakit ka nambabaliktad! Ikaw nga 'yung nagsabi e," he pursed his lips. "Alam mo na, ayaw ko lang naman na may pinagsisisihan ka..."

May inabot siya sa akin. It was a smoothie, with a tissue rolled around it.

"Philo, here's your smoothie..." ngisi ni Iscalade.

"Thank you po," aabutin ko na sana nang nagkamot si Iscalade ng kaniyang ulo.

"Hindi naman 'yan 'yung sinabi mo e. Tinanong mo ako kung masarap ako humalik," aniya sa tonong nagtatampo.

Nanglaki ang mga mata ko. Oh, gano'n ba?

"Masarap ka po bang humalik, Iscalade?" I asked, trying to contain my giggles.

Tumikhim siya bago nagpakawala ng isang tawa.

"Hindi ko pa nahahalikan sarili ko e, sagutin ko na lang kapag nahalikan ko na sarili ko, ha." He winked and I chortled.

"I c-could do that for you," I stated, my cheeks were burning now. "Ako na lang po magsasabi kung totoo nga po."

Uminom siya at kunyari'y nasamid. Natawa naman ako dahil kuhang-kuha niya kahit ang pagdaan ng kan'yang kamay sa kan'yang buhok.

"Philo, di ka lasing. I swear, stop whatever you're saying; kasi baka maniwala ako."

"If I kiss you right now, magagalit ka po ba?" I teased him and he still looked surprise.

"Ako 'yata lasing e. Di ako nakainom pero talo ko pa nakipag-one on one sa bote ng Black Label. Grabe ako mag-daydream."

I gently cupped his face and looked at him, my heart palpitating loudly. Unti-unti kong nilapit ang mukha ko sa kan'ya upang makahanap ng tiyempo na mahalikan siya. This time I kiss him knowing that tonight, Iscalade Altreano is the boy of my dreams.

He's the badboy who have a soft heart for me. He's the Romeo to my Juliet. The one that stays even if the conflict is already there. The one who remained even if all the people abandoned me already. Just like the first time, his kisses were deeper but more gentle now.

"That was my first kiss..." I uttered when our faces are now apart from each other. "Was t-that your first kiss too?"

"That wasn't my first but it was the best kiss I've ever had," aniya habang ang mga palad ay kinukulong ang aking mga pisngi.

"I love you, Philo."

My heart was surged with extreme bliss. My trembling lips finally had the courage to confess too.

Finally.

I don't have to regret that night anymore because Iscalade Jance made this night for us to let go of our regrets.

"I love you too, Iscalade." I whimpered, tears slowly cascading down my face.

"No more regrets?" he asked, smiling and still cupping face. Agad akong tumango. "From now on, I don't want you to regret anything anymore. Lahat ng gusto mo, Philo. Let's do it together. I'll be with you until you don't want to be with me anymore. I promise that I'll be with you."

His kisses trailed on my forehead, down to my glabella, to the tip of my nose until he stopped. He looked at me hesitantly and he bit his lower lip, mukhang nahihiya at kinakabahan. Sinandal ko ang aking noo sa kan'yang noo, I looked at him straight in his eyes.

"It's okay po. Sa lahat ng pangamba ko, sa 'yo lang ako naging sigurado, Iscalade." I leaned forward and kissed him on his lips. He immediately captured mine as his hands travelled on my back to guide me. His kisses didn't even make me feel like we were just kissing, it was as if a flame was lit between the both of us and we're now ablaze. My heart kept on thrumming inside my chest as he held me on his arms.

God, talent po ba ni Iscalade ang humalik? Because he's so good at it. O baka dahil wala pa akong experience?

When Naiara told me about the cherry knots, I should have agreed immediately. Iscalade can definitely kiss like he was an expert in this field. His kisses can make me think that reality is better than fiction or maybe my reality is just better with him.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜