Kabanata 23

"Best friends lang talaga kayo ni Iscalade?" tanong ni Naiara habang naglalakad kami papunta sa sakayan. They offered me a ride but I declined. Nakakahiya na, marami na silang nagawa para sa akin.

"Opo," matamlay na sagot ko.

"Naiara, pagod na 'yata." Kile decided to butt in. "Ginawa mo na namang trabaho maging armalite."

"Hala, sorry! Medyo na-excite lang ako. Sorry talaga!" she bit her lip. "Pero pwede favor?"

"Ano po 'yon?" I almost yawned. I was feeling lethargic, she was as hyper as Iscalade. Parang hindi nawawalan ng sasabihin.

"Please don't tell him or anyone that I'm N," pinagdaop niya ang kanyang mga palad.

"Yes po, I respect your privacy." I smiled at her. She smiled back and gave a flying kiss.

Nauna tumawid si Naiara. Tumingin ako sa harap namin. I gulped immediately upon hearing the sounds of the cars passing by. Hindi ko namalayan ay nahihigit ko na ang damit ng katabi ko.

"Ano ba 'yon?" Kile's deep voice penetrated through my ears. I was startled when I notice he was raising an eyebrow at me, nakahalukipkip siya. Siya pala 'yung katabi ko.

"W-wala po bang footbridge?" I asked.

Kumunot ang noo niya. "May pedestrian naman."

"Takot po ako tumawid mag-isa." I confessed, shyly.

I don't really travel alone. Madalas ay hinahatid pa ako ng kotse kahit sa mall lang ang punta ko. Kaya naman hindi ako sanay sa pagtawid o sa kalsada mismo. I'm afraid that I'll mess up if I do it alone.

Bumuntong hininga ako. See? It's not really fun when you look ignorant just because you're sheltered. Hindi naman ako habangbuhay na bata. Hindi ito maintindihan ni Mommy at ni Daddy. This isn't rebellion — I just want to learn how to be independent.

"Hindi ka marunong tumawid mag-isa?" he asked in a low tone.

"Hindi po."

He looked at me, tumitig pa siya sa akin bago bumuntong hininga. He offered his hand and I immediately furrowed my eyebrows.

"Sasamahan kita."

I took his hand, tumawid kami ng hawak niya ang kamay ko. He was looking at the cars, nasa side siya kung saan papunta ang mga kotse.

"Palit tayo."

"Po?" I was confused.

"Palit tayo ng pwesto. Dito ka sa kabila para ako 'yung mas malapit sa mga kotse."

I nodded and we switched places. This time, tumawid muli kami. He immediately let go of my hand when we reached the other side.

"Bakit ang tagal niyo?" Naiara asked. "Nagusap pa kayo sa gitna ng kalsada?"

Nahihiya akong umamin na hindi ako marunong tumawid. I was about to say something when Kile scoffed.

"Ihatid ko na lang kaya kayo? Gabi na rin e. Try mo nga mag-grab..." he squinted his eyes. "You never told your name."

I shook my head. I did though, baka hindi niya lang narinig. He was busy typing on his phone when I introduced myself.

"My name's Philomena..."

"Love..." he mumbled, grinning. Yumuko siya at umiling-iling bago tumingin muli sa akin.

"Ano po?"

"Your name means love. May Philosophy class ka na ba?"

"This school year pa lang po. Incoming grade twelve pa lang po ako," I answered as we walked towards the parking lot.

Kanina ko pa sinusubukan mag-book sa Grab pero lahat ay halos walang available na driver. It was already night time, I guess some were about to go home or my booking is a little too much for them.

"May tumatawag sa'yo ng Philo?"

"Marami po." Iscalade uses that often though. Siya 'yata 'yung pinakatumatak sa akin na gumagamit ng ganong ngalan sa akin.

"Philo means love in Philosophy," Kile shrugged as he opened his car using his keys.

"Anong grade ka na po ba?" I asked. Major ba niya ang Philosophy? He does look older than us, pero baka dahil sa height niya. He was taller, hanggang balikat niya lang 'yata ako.

"2nd Year. PolSci." tipid niyang sagot. My mouth formed a quick awestruck expression.

Balak ko sana na Political Science rin ang kunin para sa pre-law course. Kahit gusto ko mag-take ng education, I have to take note that my parents are the ones who will pay for the expenses for my college degree. Syempre, dapat sila ang masusunod.

"That's nice po. I'm also aspiring to be a lawyer..." I smiled to myself.

"HUMSS ka?"

"Yes po."

"I still have my notes with me during first year. Meron din akong syllabus ng PolSci. I can send it to you if you want."

"Thank you po!" I can't help but beamed at him. Sobrang bait niya! Although he can act rude sometimes, I still think he's really nice.

"Philomena, sabay ka na lang sa amin! Para sure kami na ligtas kang makakauwi." Naiara says, nauna na siyang sumakay sa kotse ni Kile o Kuya Kile?

"Kuya Kile..." I muttered. Agad na ngumiwi si Kuya Kile sa akin at mariin na umiling.

"Nakakakilabot. What the fuck, Kile na lang."

"Mas matanda ka po sa akin."

"Ayoko ng Kuya ang itatawag mo sa akin..." he grimaced but later on plastered a grin on his face."I think there are better endearments. What about Dadd—"

"Hoy Kile! Huwag 'yan! Gago ka talaga!" Halakhak ni Naiara. "Ihatid mo na nga kami!"

I went home that night, satisfied that I got what I wanted and also I prove that I can indeed do things alone! Baka naman dahil dito ay payagan na nila ako o maging mas maluwag na sila sa akin.

The taste of a fleeting freedom is so good.

✿✿✿

"Sobrang effort," Iscalade had a wide grin on his face. "Thank you talaga, Philo!"

He was smiling widely upon receiving the guitar and the video that I burned in a CD. May mga greetings din doon ang banda para sa kanya.

"This is too much," Iscalade almost hugged me but decided not to because there were a lot of people. Nasa bonanza area kami ngayon sa school.

"This is nothing!" I'm glad I made Iscalade happy. Matamlay pa rin siya dahil kakagaling niya lang sa sakit.

"Buti pinayagan ka?" one of his eyebrows lifted. "O tumakas ka ulit?"

"Pinayagan po ako," I lied. I don't want him to feel guilty.

Bumuntong hininga siya at agad na ngumiti.

"I'm glad. Ayoko talaga na pinapagalitan ka dahil sa akin. I know we have different lifestyles..."

Sobrang proud si Iscalade sa binigay ko sa kanya. In fact, gumawa na naman siya ng powerpoint sa MyDay sa Facebook niya. I laughed because he was treating the guitar like it is his girlfriend! Dinala ba naman sa iba't ibang lugar tapos may mga captions pa nakatatawa. I replied him a ton of yellow hearts.

Months have passed, I am already eighteen. I had my debut but it was just a family dinner. Gusto sana ni Mommy ng isang magarang party pero ayaw naman ni Daddy dahil baka raw sumakto na may kaso siyang inaasikaso. He doesn't want to stain his family oriented reputation. I opted to have a simple family dinner for us, although I had a party that Iscalade hosted for me.

"Iscalade, did you know that Philo actually means love in Philosophy?" I excitedly shared during the first day of our class.

Tama nga si Kile! Sa intro namin sa Philosophy, sinabi na ang Philo raw ay galing sa word na Phileo na ibig sabihin ay love at ang Sophy ay galing sa Sophia na ang ibig sabihin naman ay wisdom. Love of wisdom ang philosophy.

"Ang daya! I was supposed to be the one to tell you that!" He pursed his lips, he looked like sa disappointed puppy.

"Oh? Alam mo na pala?"

"I was advance studying..." he cleared his throat. "Sa philosophy..."

Oh. I didn't know Iscalade aspires to be a philosopher. That's nice. Bagay nga sa kanya dahil marami siyang alam sa buhay.

Philomena:

Hi po! This is Philomena. Is this Kile po?

Kile:

uu

Philomena:

Sure po ba kayo na okay lang na bigay niyo sa akin ang notes niyo po? For PolSci?

Kile:

yuh.

Philomena:

Galit ka po ba sa akin? 🙁

Kile:

?

di ah.

Philomena:

Bakit parang wala pong emosyon 'yung texts niyo?

I pouted. Para kasing tipid at wala akong kwentang kausap dahil sa mga reply niya.

Kile:

ay? sori naman.

sigi fo, i'll add emotions (୨୧ᵕ̤ᴗᵕ̤)

Philomena:

Not that ☹️

Kile:

(*꒦ິ⌓꒦ີ) /crying, nasaktan, unti-unting nanghihina/

ganito fo ba direk (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

kulang pa rin ba sa emosyon

Philomena:

Just send me an email na nga lang po. 😕

Kile:

(ಢ⊱ಢ ｡) ugh! /nagtatampo, nasaktan ulit, sabay sigaw ng babangon ako at dudurugin kita/

Jk, send na lang ng deets.

(„• ֊ •„)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Wala na kaming mathematics na subject sa grade twelve. Bukod sa Entrepreneurship at Practical Research II, wala na talaga kaming subject na involve ang numbers. Pero mukhang marami kaming subjects na may mga batas at naka-pokus sa pagsusulat.

"Urat, sabi sa Philippine Politics mag-advance study na raw tayo," saad ng kaklase ko. "Sinilip ko pa lang 'yung 1987 Constitutions, bigla akong nahilo."

"Kabisaduhin mo na 'yung Preamble."

"We, the sovereign Filipino people —"

Umiikot talaga kami sa pag-aaral ng mga batas. Pero mas gusto ko talaga ang mga subjects na Creative Writing at 21st Century Literature. HUMSS is definitely my niche because I like reading, at kahit papaano ay meron din naman akong hilig sa pagsusulat.

✿✿✿

"Hindi ko po siya gets..." my lips jutted out. "Bakit parang ang hirap..."

We're currently at a cafe, the freshly brewed coffee makes me tingled because of it's aroma. Kile was wearing a black shirt with bloody red roses printed on it and denim pants. I was wearing a white sun dress with yellow flowers printed in it, knee length ulit ito.

Napansin ko na napapatingin sa dako namin 'yung mga bagong pasok na costumer. I believe it's because of Kile. Ganito rin naman kay Iscalade pero ngumingiti kasi si Iscalade sa mga tumitingin sa kanya o kaya tatango siya. Kile on the other hand, couldn't be more careless.

Kile is the winter and oasis while Iscalade's the summer and desert. Sobrang tahimik niya kumpara kay Iscalade. I'm always the first one to open a conversation at palaging malalim ang titig niya sa akin, para bang binabasa niya talaga ako.

"Ganiyan 'yung mga pag-aaralan sa PolSci." Kile beckoned, he crossed his legs. Sumandal siya sa kanyang upuan at tumitig sa akin.

Hindi naman siya sobrang hirap at kaya naman intindihin. Pero parang...

Hindi ako interesado.

Tapos pag-aaralan ko ng ilang taon ito?

My heart and head hurts just imagining myself trying to digest these words in my mind. Pero para naman ito sa mga magulang ko. I have to work hard for them. Wala naman talagang madali na course e. Lahat naman talaga ay mahirap.

"Ayaw mo ba? Marami pa namang pre-law na courses..."

"You're right po. Pero..." I sighed.

"Do you really want to be a lawyer?" he snorted.

"Po?"

"Para kasing napipilitan ka lang." He pointed out. "What's your other choice?"

"Education." I answered. "Pwede pa rin naman po ako magturo kahit law ang kukunin ko..."

I just won't be able to do what I really want. Pero, at least, I could teach. Pwede na rin 'yon.

"Philo..." he breathed out. "Listen, you have to choose what makes you happy."

"Making my parents proud will make me happy —"

"It's for the long run. Choose whatever makes you happy for the long haul..."

Natigilan ako at tumingin sa kanya. His cold eyes met mine as he lifted both of his eyebrows at me. Tumikhim ako at medyo yumuko. His stare is too intense.

"Hindi naman sila ang mag-aaral, Philo. Ikaw naman 'yung mahihirapan."

"Sila po ang nagpapa-aral —"

"Obligasyon nila 'yon. It's not a loan you have to pay, it's a responsibility that they have to fulfill." He sniggered.

"Believe me, mahirap ang college. Pero mas mahirap kapag 'yung pagod mo sa college ay hindi nagpapasaya sa'yo. You have to choose a course, kung saan pagod ka pero masaya ka — kasi alam mong para sa pangarap mo 'yon. Not anyone else but yours."

Kile made me think twice. Should I really try? Pero ayoko naman mamamatay sa sama ng loob ang mga magulang ko, I have already try asking them before but I was just rejected.

"Hahatid na kita," Kile offered. Tumango naman ako at sumakay na sa shotgun seat. His car smelled mint and his perfume combined. Hindi ko siguro kung nagsusuot siya ng pabango pero humahalo ito sa amoy ng kotse niya.

I wonder if Iscalade will be like this when he finally gets his car.

He was preparing to maneuver his car while I look at the piercings on his ears. Medyo marami ito kaya naman namamangha ako. It looked nice on him. Totoo kaya ito? I absentmindedly touch it, napaigtad siya sa akin. He looked at me, flabbergasted. Ang ilang hibla ng kanyang buhok ay naging sagabal sa kanyang mukha.

"S-sorry po..." binawi ko ang kamay ko. "I was just curious, kung totoo ba..."

"It's okay," he covered his ear. "It's all real, though."

"Buti hindi ka po pinapagalitan ng magulang mo..."

I have nothing against piercings or expressing yourself through anything. Pero ang swerte naman niya kung tulad siya ni Iscalade na may supportive na mga magulang.

"Actually, he's one of the reasons why I did this." He tilted his head, nagkaroon ng inis ang kanyang ekspresyon. His face darkened.

"For every heartbreak I've received, I pierced my ears." He nibbled on his lower lip.

"That's kind of cool..." I muttered.

Kahit papaano ay nalalabas niya ang sakit na nararamdaman niya. That's a brave thing to do; to open your wounds so you could release the pain you're feeling.

"Pakiramdam ko may kausap ako na madre. Confession po ba ito, sister?" pangaasar niya, smirking at me.

I pursed my lips in response.

Honestly, I have a like-hate impression of him. It's either I'm amaze with his thoughts and gesture or I just want to ask why he's so rude.

Hinatid niya ako sa harap ng gate namin. I unbuckled my seatbelt, lumingon ako sa kanya.

"Thank you po," I beamed at him. "I'm glad I have another friend na po..."

He grinned and gaze at me with mockery. "Who says I'm your friend?"

"Po?" bigla akong kinabahan. Did I just assume? Naiara told me we're already friends...

"I can't tolerate being just a friend..." he lazily plastered a smirk on his face. "So no, I can't be your friend."

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜