Kabanata 12

Iscalade:

Nakauwi ka na po?

Philomena:

Yes po! Thank you. 🤗

Iscalade:

Yaaay! Next time ulit. 🥳 you can pick the movies you want to watch or send me a list.

Philomena:

I wanna do this challenge po. But I don't know if you're into it... 😅😥

Iscalade:

What challenge??? Kahit ano pa 'yan. Gusto ko na agad. 🤘😫🤘

Philomena:

Books turned to movies po! 💓

Iscalade:

Hala ang cute may heart. 😭 Ako rin, gusto ko rin, tadtarin ka ng hearts -----> 💞💓💕💗

Philomena:

Thank you po!!! 💞

Iscalade:

Anyway, Gusto ko 'yan. Gusto ko talaga ng mga challenging. Mahilig talaga ako sa ganyan. Basta ba manonood ulit tayo. 🤩

My lips move inwardly as I type my answer. I can't believe he agreed. It was the challenge of watching books turned to movies. Matagal na itong challenge sa book community, I just didn't have the courage to do it alone since I feel like I'll be mean if some of the movie adaptations are not up my alley.

I respect that books and movies are two different forms of art. Kaya naman kinakabahan ako na baka hindi ko magustuhan at may mabanggit ako na masakit na salita.

Mahirap din naman talaga na gumawa ng isang pelikula, and even if I didn't want books to be turned into movies because they might ruin my expectations — I think it will always be the author's choice if their masterpiece should be shared with a larger audience and have their own cinematic version.

Nasa harap na ako ng bahay namin bago pa man mag-alas sais. I opened the door of our house and as I turned on the switch, walang tao sa loob. It was still early, baka nasa trabaho pa si Daddy at baka nasa mall naman si Mommy.

"Ma'am Philo, pasensya na. Nasa dirty kitchen kasi kami kaya nakapatay lahat ng ilaw sa sala."

Ate Flora immediately helped me with my bag, I insisted that I don't need the help. Magaan lang naman ang bag ko at nasa pangalawang palapag lang naman ang kwarto ko.

"Salamat, Ate Flora. Sa kwarto na po muna ako," paalam ko.

"Kakain ka na po ba o hihintayin niyo na po si Mommy niyo?" tanong niya.

"Mamaya na po, Ate Flora. Kumain na po ako. Kain na rin po kayo," I smiled before walking towards the upper floor to reach my room.

We had buttered popcorn while watching a spongebob movie. Pareho pala kami ni Iscalade na mahilig pa rin sa cartoons. Pero 'yung mga cartoons lang noon na pinapanood namin nung mga bata pa kami, somehow watching spongebob can make us relive our childhood again.

There's a wallhanger on my door with my name embroidered on it. Pumasok na ako sa kwarto ko at agad na humiga sa kama. Having a beige colored bedroom makes it easier for me to relaxed. My room is an oasis, the only place where silence means peace and not sadness.

I have a shelf of books on the corners of my room. The books were arranged based on their colors, pero balak ko itong baguhin kapag nagkaroon ako ng oras. I'll probably declutter some books too, since some were left way too long on my to-be-read list and the other books were only recommended to me but I didn't like it. Agad akong namula nang matandaan na nandiyan pa rin pala 'yung libro na nahihiya akong ipakita sa iba.

It was that book. I feel bad for having that inside my room. I had it ever since I was on junior highschool, it got recommended by a lot of fellow readers so I tried to buy a copy even if technically it isn't for readers who are still young. Maganda naman daw at inosente raw 'yung bida.

Napapikit ako nang mariin dahil naaalala ko na naman kung gaano siya ka-inosente. My mind wasn't ready for that, ever since that book existed in my shelf — I never listen to book recommendations by random people again. Sa goodreads na lang ako naniniwala.

I decided to review for the quizbee. Kinuha ko ang laptop ko at hinanap ang email ni Sarathiel. I clicked on his email and decided to wrote an email thanking him for his effort. Hindi ko alam bakit may pumasok na ideya sa isip ko habang nagtitipa ako para sa kanya.

I always wanted to try writing letters or creating a goodbye letter to a person who I used to love but since I never consider myself falling in love yet, I never had the chance to create one. This is inspired by my favorite book and I always imagined what it would be like to write someone about your feelings about them.

I liked Sarathiel. Hindi man humantong sa pagmamahal na buo at hindi man ako nahulog nang todo, I liked the idea that I almost had feelings for him that may have been deeper.

So I wrote him a letter, addressing how I could have love him only if I wasn't afraid of unrequited love. I saved it as a draft on his email. I'll never send it, of course. It is just me trying to cope with letting my previous feelings go.

It would never reach him, anyway.

✿✿✿

"Congrats po," binati ko si Iscalade dahil sila 'yung nanalo sa quizbee. We got 26/40 and I think it wasn't that bad. Ang galing lang nila dahil perfect ang nakuha nilang score.

I did try to review some notes from our earth and life science, physical science, general mathematics at sa media and information literacy. The misconception about HUMSS is we don't have mathematics in our strand, but just like other strands we are required to take core subjects. At may mga math at science subjects pa rin naman na kasali roon.

"Inspired si Sarathiel e," sagot ni Iscalade. "Panay ba naman tingin sa pwesto nila Zafirah, kinabahan ako baka akalain nangongopya kami."

Humawak pa siya sa kanyang dibdib, I laughed at his gesture.

"Sarathiel likes Zafirah?" I wanted to hear the confirmation.

"Parang? Crush lang gano'n." He shrugged and turned his attention to me. "Wow ah? Sa iba nakakaramdam ka pero pagdating sa sarili mo, hindi?"

"Ano po?"

"Wala po..." he drawled, rolling his eyes and puffing his cheeks cutely.

We went to the student lounge, nandoon na 'yung mga kaibigan ni Iscalade. I saw Paulene eating on her lunchbox and I immediately frowned. Bakit dito siya kumakain?

"Iscalade, may pupuntahan lang po ako."

"Ikaw lang? Kailangan mo ng kasama?" tanong niya.

Umiling naman ako.

"Sandali lang po," I said and strolled towards my friend.

"Paulene," I called her and she immediately looked up to me.

"Hi Philo!" She beamed upon seeing me. "Bakit ka nandito? Lunchbreak niyo rin?"

"Bakit dito ka kumakain?" I asked, since normally she'll eat on the cafeteria or on their room.

"Ah, wala lang. New environment. Balak ko kasing mag-school tour tuwing lunchbreak," she chuckled.

My heart sank at her statement. She was clearly lying. Iniiwasan niyang magtama ang mga paningin namin. Pero hindi ko alam kung bakit at hindi ko mapigilan na mainis sa sarili ko dahil pinabayaan kong kumain mag-isa si Paulene. She's my friend, and she should never feel alone.

"Pau, sabay na lang kaya po tayo mag-lunch..." kumbinsi ko.

"Okay lang ako, Philo. Ngayong araw lang din naman pareho ang lunchbreak natin. Maganda na rin na masanay ako na ano..." she was laughing but her voice croaked.

Our schedules are not the same. Hindi kami pareho ng strand kaya naman mahirap maging tugma ang mga gawain namin. I feel like even if we wanted to do things together, we simply can't because of our circumstances.

Senior highschool separates you from your friends, lalo na kung iba-iba kayo ng pangarap. In that aspect, it is already similar to college. Hindi naman sa kaibigan mo nakasalalay ang mga pangarap mo.

"Pau..." I sat next to her and immediately hugged her. "Sorry po, I never wanted to make you feel this way."

"Parang ewan 'to, hindi naman ikaw e." She hugged me back. "I'm fine, this is the only lunchbreak we had in common too. I understand, at wala naman sa akin 'yon. I'm glad you're having new friends, though!"

"Are you sure po? Pwede naman po tayong magsabay tuwing ganitong period..." I asked, worried that she might be feeling neglected by me.

Even if it was only a day, para maibsan lang 'yung nabubuong lungkot sa puso niya. I never want to see anyone I care for to be hurt.

"I..." unti-unting lumukot ang mukha niya.

"Paulene! Pisces girl!"

I heard someone shouting, agad akong lumingon sa humihiyaw sa direksyon namin. May taong huminto sa harap namin, hinihingal siya at may hawak siyang plastic.

Oh. He looks familiar, I just couldn't pinpoint where I saw him before. Baka artista? No, I'm not sure. But his goofy smile is really familiar to me.

"Bumili lang ako ng dessert, nawala ka na?" Kumunot 'yung noo nung lalaki. Agad itong bumaling ng tingin sa akin.

"Ate, may pila po kay Paulene." He chuckled. Agad naman umawang ang labi ko.

"Ano po 'yon?" my eyebrows furrowed.

"Ikaw ba 'yung bestfriend ni Paulene? Sikat kaya si Pau sa classroom namin! Grabe, may schedule kami kung sino 'yung magiging kasama niya ngayon kumain." He explained, animatedly taking off some invisible sweats.

"Kaya ba malungkot si Paulene dahil—"

"Dahil sobrang pagod na siyang maging sikat!" the guy bellowed and even raised his finger. "That's right, si Paulene niyo pagod na maging maganda at habulin."

"Ikaw," Paulene gritted her teeth and looked at me with bewildered eyes. "Ah t-tama! Grabe pagod na pagod na ako. Pero, thanks fan! Mamaya na autograph mo, ha! Sobrang saya mo siguro na kasabay mo ako kumain ngayon."

"Mas masaya pa ako sa sobrang saya," The guy only grinned playfully at Paulene. "Sabay tayo kakain, ah. Ikaw nagsabi niyan, ah. Kapag binawi, pangit forever."

✿✿✿

"Am I a bad friend, Iscalade?" I asked him while he's currently taking his shoes off. Nandito kami ngayon sa bahay, since we're going to watch movies about books — he volunteered to help me declutter some of my books.

"No? Pero mas better kung girlfriend ka siguro, di ko alam?" he sounded confuse with his own answer.

I exasperatedly sighed. Kanina ay nagmamadali si Paulene na umalis kasama 'yung lalaki na kumausap sa kanya. The guy looked harmless and he looked like someone who's from showbiz. Mukha kasing artista 'yung lalaki, but I think he's too flashy for my own taste. Pareho sila ni Iscalade na mukhang masayahin.

"Hello po, Mommy." I greeted my Mom briefly and she let me kiss her on her cheek. Agad niyang binaling ang atensyon niya sa kasama ko.

"Altreano? So you're from the family of well known engineers?" Mommy's eyes were twinkling, halos halikan na niya si Iscalade sa sobrang tuwa nang ipakilala ko siya rito.

When I told her that I might bring a friend along with me, halos bugahan niya ako ng apoy nang malaman na lalaki ito. Pero para siyang nabuhusan ng malamig na tubig nang sinabi ko ang buong pangalan ni Iscalade. It might be because Iscalade is also from a prominent family, kaya ganito na lamang ang reaksyon niya.

"Yes po," Iscalade smiled politely.

"Please, feel at home!" sobrang lawak ng ngiti ni Mommy. "I never knew my Philomena is friends with the likes of you."

My Philomena. Hindi ko alam bakit guminhawa ang pakiramdam ko dahil sa simpling pagtawag sa akin ni Mommy nang gano'n.

"Mabait po si Philo, Tita. Lahat naman po siguro gusto siyang maging kaibigan. May mga gusto pa nga pong higit pa sa kaibigan e...baka naman po," Iscalade chuckled, tumawa rin si Mommy.

Hindi ko tuloy alam kung tatawa rin ako kahit hindi ko gets.

"Philomena, come here." Tinawag ako ni Mommy habang naglilibot si Iscalade at tinitingnan ang interior ng bahay namin.

Kumukunot ang noo niya tuwing may nakikitang ibang kulay sa color palette ng buong bahay namin.

"Make sure that he stays as your friend. Don't mess this up," malamig niyang saad. "Mabuti naman at kahit papaano ay ginagamit mo na 'yung utak mo."

My heart clenched because of what she said. Ginagamit ko naman po talaga utak ko. Pero tumango na lamang ako kay Mommy.

My lips pressed in a thin line.

Hindi ako pwedeng sumagot pabalik sa matanda. That's what my Mommy taught me. Never answer back, kahit kailan at kahit anong mangyari. Hindi ka pwedeng sumagot pabalik. Dahil sila ang tama, at ikaw ang mali.

Pumunta kami sa kwarto ko, nagpaalam naman na ako kay Mommy. If Iscalade wasn't an Altreano, Mommy would have screamed profanities at him and let the guards throw him out of our house.

"I feel so violated," reklamo ni Iscalade. It made me looked at him with concern.

"Una, niyaya mo ako ng Netflix and chill. Ngayon naman ay pinapasok mo ako sa kwarto mo." He chuckled lightly. "Ate, huwag po. Ayoko na pong madumihan utak ko. Please lang. Tigil na natin 'to."

"Hindi naman po," I looked at him. Hindi naman siya mukhang madumi, he actually looks neat.

Tiningnan namin 'yung mga libro, tinulungan niya ako tanggalin ito sa mga shelves. He went over to the books on the floor to arrange it.

"Ang dami mong libro, lahat ng ito nabasa mo na?" Iscalade was examining my books. I bobbed my head in response.

"Iscalade —" I turned to him to ask if he can help me reach for the top shelf, pero nalaglag ang tingin ko sa hawak niyang libro.

Oh.

I forgot.

He was arranging the ones I was about to get rid of.

Halos mablangko ang buong sistema ko nang makitang nasa kamay niya ang librong hindi ko kailan man sinabing nabasa ko na sa iba. It was that curse book. That book.

Fifty Shades of Grey.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜