"It's not fair that I didn't get to have enough time with you."

My eyes drift toward the sky, failing to keep my tears at bay. Cold wind blows past, and I tighten my coat around me.

"Remember when I was a toddler, and I used to cry every morning whenever you went to school? Well, I didn't. But Leann told me how I did not want to be separated from you. At all. Apparently, it used to hurt her feelings back then," I laugh a little, "how obvious it was that I had a favorite sibling."

I smile sadly at the stone that marks Tony's final resting place. "You were always my favorite. I used to follow you wherever you go. Wanted to do everything you did. When I had a nightmare, you were the first person I'd go to in the middle of the night. You always let me climb up your bed for a cuddle, and even when you were asleep you'd wake up to tell me stories whenever I asked for them. You were... you were really great. You were a really great brother."

I pick at the grass under my legs. "I know you weren't perfect, but I still loved you. I wish you hadn't gotten drunk with your friends. I wish you'd called Leann that night, instead of me. You trusted me too much and I didn't want to let you down, and that was the only reason why I snuck out with Mom's car when you asked me to. I should've woken her up, but I didn't want you to be mad at me. I wish I hadn't crashed into that tree. I wish you hadn't run away from home. I wish I didn't have to lose all those years without you. I just... I just want more time. It's not fair that I had to lose you again. I can't get you back, this time."

Another tear falls from my eye. I've been crying so much in the past few weeks, my eyes are starting to dry up at this point.

"I wish I hadn't gone to New York. I wish I'd stayed home. Get a teaching job here. I wish you hadn't convinced me to go to school again. I wish I had been here when you died. I didn't get to say goodbye. I don't even remember what I said to you, on that last phone call. It was probably something stupid. I didn't think that would be the last time I ever got to hear your voice."

It didn't cross my mind that I would lose Tony so soon after that phone call. He didn't tell me that he was really ill. He told me it just felt like a common cold, and that he would probably be okay after a few more days. But then, one night, he had a seizure in his sleep, and Kate couldn't wake him up, and they were finally taken to the overcrowded hospital. It all just happened so quick. It took a long time for me to believe that he was really gone.

"I'm sorry that I don't visit often," I say quietly to the headstone. "It's just... hard, sometimes. I do think about you all the time. But being here... it just. Hurts. It really hurts. I thought I've gotten over it. It's been three years. But this morning I woke up with Lucy in my arms, and I thought about this baby that I never got to meet and then I thought about how you and Kate never got to meet your baby and I just... I had to see you. I had to be here and talk to you."

I scoff out a sad laugh. "It was not a baby. I know that. It was never gonna be. But my brain's still all confused about it. I don't exactly know what I'm sad about. I just am."

It's been a week since I was discharged from the hospital. I had to stay there for a while for observation—they needed to make sure there wasn't any further complications. I was too weak to be sent home, anyway—I could barely even walk, the first few days. My whole body lit up with pain as soon as the painkillers wore off.

And once I was allowed to leave, I went straight home to my parents' house. Christmas has come and gone while I was holed up in my bedroom. I haven't said anything to my parents about the loss of the non-baby. I don't know how to start, because even just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. They just think that I'm feeling down because of the divorce.

Speaking of.

"There's a bit of a good news, though. I'm officially a divorcee. Yay." My mouth lifts in a small grin. "The news were sent to the media. Jo Archer is no more."

I helped draft Freddie's press release—not much, just a few suggestions to change the wording a little—and Freddie released it via one of the tabloids owned by Archer Corporation. And, of course, he also did an Instagram post about it for extra exposure. So far, it's received a million likes. The general population is very happy that the handsome billionaire future CEO is single again, and a lot of them aren't ashamed at all to voice their excitement in the comments under that post. Rather inappropriately, I should say.

As expected, there were questions about me. About Jo, I mean. But Freddie's such a pro in this game. He's been expertly dodging all the too-invasive questions about me while still making sure that everyone understands that the divorce is amicable. He's been out and about, attending public events without his wedding ring for the first time since 2020, directing all the attention to him instead of the mysterious ex-wife, and so far, it's worked well in his favor. People love a freshly-divorced hot, rich dude.

And me? I'm so ready to start this new life. I know it has started on a very rocky ground, with my bloody trip to the hospital and all... but I am excited for the future. I want to finally start living my life, instead of barely surviving it.

I know I've still got a long way to go, to be fully and truly okay again. I'll have my bad days. I'll wake up from nightmares. I'll still feel scared.

But I know I won't be alone through it all.

"I'm finally graduating this spring. Very excited about it, too. I've already got a few job offers—all of them in New York, but I'm also thinking about returning home. Close to Mom and Dad and everyone here. I don't know. I'll have to talk to Jonah about it."

I can't help the way my mouth lifts up into a smile at the thought of him.

"I love him. I can't believe that I get to be with him again. He makes my heart race, even just looking at him. He makes me blush even when I'm just thinking of him. Just like when I was seventeen and a stupid teenager. Isn't that crazy how my feelings for him haven't changed? It's like... like everytime I look at him, I just fall in love all over again. I think you once said something to me about this a long time ago, when you were telling me about how much you loved Kate. I'm so lucky that I get to experience that, too. It feels really good to love."

It feels even better to be loved.

I've loved Jonah for as long as I've known love—it was just a silly, puppy-love crush, once upon a time, but it's grown into something real, a concrete thing, something that I know is true and forever. And every day since the day we saw each other again in Manhattan, Jonah has only ever shown me that he, too, is here to stay.

He was with me every day while I was recovering in the hospital. He held me while I cried, even when I couldn't explain what I was crying for. There were times that I woke up in the middle of the night, to see that he was sleeping next to me—sitting uncomfortably on a chair that he'd pulled up close to my bed, his head resting on the small space next to my stomach.

There were times when everything felt too exhausting, and I couldn't even bother to speak. I just sat on the bed, twiddling my thumbs in silence. But he didn't mind it. He just stayed in my room, took care of his restaurant from all the way across the country through quiet phone calls which, quite honestly, soothed me. He'd still sit by my side during those calls, holding my hand, absentmindedly stroking my knuckles with his thumb. I loved listening to his voice when he was trying to be quiet for me. I loved that he was just there for me, even when I wasn't 100% present in his presence.

I startle when I feel something soft touching my neck—a scarf. One sniff and I know it's Jonah's cologne. I can't help it—my face instantly breaks into a grin as I look up over my shoulder.

Jonah is there, holding two bouquets of flowers—snowdrops, I think, with a few decorative greens, tied together with twine. He smiles, drops a kiss on my forehead as he crouches down next to me, then lays the flowers on Tony and Kate's graves.

"Hey, handsome," I greet him.

"It's cold out here," he says in a slightly scolding tone. "How long have you been here? That coat doesn't look warm enough."

I roll my eyes, still smiling. "I'm fine. When did you get here?"

"An hour ago, I think? Dropped my stuff at the motel then went straight to the florist to pick these up. I didn't think you'd be here. I was gonna have a private talk with your brother," he says with a dramatic sigh, and I chuckle. "Guess I'll have to go back later."

"You can say whatever you want to say to him in front of me," I challenge, my eyes narrowing at him playfully.

He grins. "Hmm. No, I don't think I will."

I stick my tongue out at him, and he laughs. It tapers off into a soft smile, then, and he reaches out to touch my hair. I always love it when he does that—he does it so gently, while his eyes roam every inch of my face, making my heart rate go up.

"You doing okay?" he asks.

"Ish," I answer honestly. "This morning was kinda sucky. I had a bad dream. Had to go vent about it to brother dearest. It's been a while."

One side of his mouth quirks up. "Did I interrupt? I can go, maybe get lunch. I'll have my talk with him on another day."

"Nah, it's fine. You came at the perfect time, really. I was about to wrap up. I can go with you for lunch?"

Jonah agrees. "Alright. You wanna go now?"

I say my goodbye to the gravestones and allow Jonah to help me stand up. Moving around still hurts a little, but I try to keep myself mobile. One of my biggest mistakes after my tumor surgery was that I was very much glued to my bed. It made the recovery even harder—my knees went weak and stiff from disuse and my nurse had to help me walk again, forcing my legs to move when they basically forgot how to.

The walk to the graveyard earlier was alright—I managed to do it on my own. Still, it feels nice to hang onto Jonah's arm and have him carry half of my weight.

We pick up takeouts from a Chinese place near the motel. He leads me up to his room—picks me up to a bridal carry before we climb the stairs, making me laugh in surprise. The room is pretty small and bare—this cheap motel is really all this town has—so we unbox our food on the floor next to the bed. But the food is good—okay enough for Jonah's high standards, at least.

"So, how was the PR outing?" I ask, after swallowing the last bite of my orange chicken. "Saw the pic that Gabe Donovan posted on his Instagram. With that coat and the mask, his girlfriend really does look like me."

"Right? It was also a good angle, I think."

I shrug. "Or maybe I'm just a basic blonde bitch."

Jonah rolls his eyes at me. "There's nothing basic about you, Hannah Taylors."

I steal a shrimp from his fried rice. "Okay, but the trick worked, yeah? People are already thinking they misinterpreted The Trader Joe's picture."

He nods and grins. "I can't believe it worked so easily."

Jonah stayed in New York while I flew home after I was discharged from the hospital—turned out his friend Gabe and his girlfriend were in New York, too, and they set up a public night out, intentionally dressing his girlfriend to resemble me just a little bit and carried out the plan that we discussed before my hospital trip. His friends were happy enough to get the chance to be in the spotlight, so they went out for a drink with other mutual friends, and took a few pictures together to clearly show that the Mysterious Blonde Woman was not Jonah's new love interest. It was a success—the post went viral as soon as he tagged Jonah in the picture, and the Secret New Girlfriend rumors are seeminglydying out.

"Well, that's good. Freddie's been monitoring the news to see if anybody's picking up a connection between the divorce news with your Mystery Girl. So far, we're safe," I tell him.

"See? Told you, everything will blow over."

While Jonah was carrying out the diversion plan, Freddie flew home with me, although he only stayed in town for a day—just for a talk with my parents, say his goodbyes. Cole seemed to take it really hard—I knew that he was starting to really look up to Freddie, and maybe see him as a brother figure. Freddie genuinely liked him, too, and already told me that he'd love to hang out with Cole whenever he gets free time.

I need to have another talk with my little brother to explain to him—again—that he does not need to stop being friends with Freddie even after we're divorced, but he's not really in a talking mood with me. It hurts a little, but I understand that he might be mad at me at the moment, so I'm giving him space, letting him cool down for now.

"Everyone's talking about the divorce," Jonah hums. "I had no idea he was that popular. I mean, I knew he was a famous rich person, but still. He seems... normal, in real life."

That makes me laugh. "It didn't surprise me, really, because I already knew how people reacted when he announced our pandemic wedding."

He tilts his head to the side, eyebrows furrowed. "Honestly? I never heard anything about your wedding. Or... wait, maybe I did hear about some billionaire heir's surprise wedding, but I guess I didn't really care? If I paid attention, I would've guessed that it was you from the start."

"Hmm." I narrow my eyes skeptically. "You're only sure about it now because you already knowthat the woman in the pictures is me."

He shrugs. "Maybe so. But then again, I did recognize you from the photos in Freddie's office room."

"Creepy," I tease.

He smiles. "I just know you by heart, I think."

My cheeks flush, warmth spreading from my heart. "I've always told Freddie that I didn't want my face published. I never really thought about why—just that I needed to keep it private. His world scares me."

"You went by a different name and everything."

I huff a laugh. "Yeah. I mean, I always knew the marriage would be temporary. I guess... I just didn't want my name to be forever attached to his. So I kept it like an alter ego, kind of."

"Just a character you played, huh?" he wonders. "Sounds like you lived out your dream to be an actress, in a way."

I laugh at that. "Now when you put it what way... My life is very absurd."

"You should write a book about that. An autobiography, once we're older," he suggests with a grin. "Or maybe write it out like it's fiction. It sure as hell is entertaining enough."

"Ha! Marriage-of-convenience with a billionaire is already a very popular trope in romance. I'd make big bucks just by writing a fan-fiction about myself."

"You should also sell the screenplay to Archer Studios, just for the hell of it."

I giggle. "You know what? Maybe I will. Leann can play the lead. This could be her big break. An Oscar-worthy performance."

After we clean up the takeout boxes, I lay with him on the small bed. Just for a while. I'll have to be back home before it gets too dark, but I don't wanna leave yet.

I'm half-lying on him, squeezed into the single bed. My ear is pressed against his front, and I can hear the strong beating of his heart. His heart that beats only for me, as he once said.

I would love to fall asleep and wake up to this sound, for the rest of my life.

I don't say it out loud just yet, although I'm pretty sure that he already knows what I want. But we're still taking one step at a time. We don't have to rush.

As long as our steps are in sync.

There's a lot of damage that I still need to undo, especially with my family. I've kept them in the dark from my struggles for far too long. It will break my parents' hearts to know what I've been keeping from them, but I know that I need to do this.

"I'm going to tell my parents," I say quietly. "Everything."

"Yeah?" he responds softly.

"Yeah. The marriage with Freddie. Reuniting with you. The real reason why I'm divorcing him." I pause, then add in a tiny voice, "And the non-baby."

Jonah breathes evenly. I haven't really talked much about it with him. It's still really hard to bring it up, to say it out loud. But I will tell my parents. I have to.

"I'm... scared. But I'm going to do it."

"Do you want me to come with you, when you talk to them?" he offers. "Or, maybe Freddie?"

I shake my head. "No. I need to do this myself. I should have, but I was a coward. I don't want to keep secrets from them anymore. I want... I want to be honest."

I haven't been, for a really long time, and it's been a heavy weight on my shoulders that I've carried with me for years. I don't want that anymore. I want to be honest. I want to be better.

"You're very brave, Hannah," Jonah whispers softly, kissing the side of my head. "My sunshine. I admire you so, so much. You've been so strong. But you need to know that you don't have to carry it all alone."

I smile, snuggling deeper into his warmth. "I know that, now."

Jonah gently cups my face, and I meet his soft, loving eyes. I lean up to press my lips on his, needing him to know how much I love him. His face is wet with tears—I don't know if they're mine or his—but his lips curve upwards against mine.

I love him, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, and I think it's about time that I finally show him that.

Author's note: Hiiii posting this one a day in advance because I'm flying out to see Taylor Swift tomorrow and I still don't trust Wattpad's scheduled post feature yet😅 I've tried it a few times and it always seemed like you guys didn't get the notification so I don't wanna risk it again!!

And now here we are. There's only one chapter left, and then the Epilogue, and then... the bonus chapters ;) After that, I will be announcing my next story which I'm very stoked about!!! AAAHHHH!!! I can't wait for you guys to read it!!!!