how do you let go of the people
that felt like home?

"ANOTHER JOB?" Kianna spotted the guild's strongest member at the bar, ripping open another letter from the Magic Council. She was reading its content with a blasé expression plastered onto her face, unbelievably nonchalant about the missions being sent to her one after the other. In her defence, though, Amethyst only cared about the rewards written at the bottom of the parchment papers in bold, cursive writing. Any money was good money, so she believed.

Amethyst needed to keep her guild up and running, and as their main source of income, the poor child had to work tirelessly in order to achieve that. The money she earned doing the Council's dirty work could only pay for so much. Her family (every one of them) were struggling to make ends meet. So, Amethyst worked hard to help them. And if there were days where her body screamed at her to take a break, her mind pleading for some well-earned rest, Amethyst didn't say anything.

Just one more and I'll take a break.

One more turned into two, turned into five, into seven, eight, nine— Amethyst didn't know where to draw the line. She didn't know how to stop, when to stop or even why she had to stop in the first place.

Amethyst feared that any pauses would turn her into dust. What value did a jewel have if it was anything but perfection?

"Yeah," she replied. Her expression contoured into confusion, and it caught their attention.

"Something wrong?" Laki wondered. She tilted her head to the side, her glasses perched high up on the bridge of her nose.

"It's a joint one."

"Joint?" Max furrowed his brows. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"They're asking me to work with a group from Sabertooth." The infamous guild name brought immediate disgust and distaste to the front of her guild member's faces.

"Sabertooth?" Wakaba grimaced. "Why on earth do you have to work with them?"

Jet scoffed, "They're a bunch of no-good mages."

"Yeah!" His best friend backed him up.

"I can't do anything about it. It's the Magic Council's request." Amethyst put the letter down on the wooden bar. She turned her head and scanned the area. "Where's Romeo?" Her attention was mainly directed to his father, her gaze falling upon him.

"Oh, he said he was going out," Macao informed. He sat at the end of the bar, a bunch of paperwork laid out in front of him. "Said it was an errand or something and wouldn't be back till late tonight."

"Ah," Amethyst sounded. She knew exactly where he was. Although not one for keeping secrets, Amethyst knew better than to tell the truth of her soulmate's whereabouts. She knew why he wanted to get stronger, and she also knew that his father would object in every way, shape and form. "Alright. I'll go look for him and say goodbye."

"Bye, bye," she heard Asuka sing, waving her tiny fingers. Amethyst felt a smile creep across her lips. The child took after her parents significantly, and she added a youthful ambience to their guild, full of sunshine and rainbows. Amethyst knew she had been there for longer than Asuka but still couldn't quite shake the feeling that they were family. It felt right. To call her her baby sister.

"Take care of yourself!" Alzack called, a fatherly tone backing his words.

Bisca added, smiling like a mother would, "And don't forget to come back home!"

Amethyst replied, soft, serene and with the utmost honesty, "I always do."

Spinning on her heel, Amethyst walked out the guild, along the rocky path, past the towering trees, and onto the main road of Magnolia. The sound of chatter and the swish-swash river filled the afternoon air. With her usual outfit on, a backless top and dark pants, Amethyst stayed close to the walls, deterring away from any crowded streets. The mark that sat prominently between her shoulder blades always caught attention, and while Amethyst went out of her way to make sure it was always seen—

"Why do I always have to wear these shirts?" a young mage whined, tugging at the straps wrapped loosely around her neck, tied into a perfect bow behind her neck.

A book-loving girl swatted her hand away. She beamed, "Think of it as your trade mark!"

"My trade mark? What's that?"

"It's your most defining feature that personalises you."

"Huh?"

"This mark on your back is yours, Amethyst." A finger traced her skin adoringly. The child looked up into brown eyes, scarlet strands falling to frame a picture-perfect face. "It's pretty and beautiful, just like you. You have to show it off."

"Mhm. Juvia-san agrees!"

"Well," the child sighed. "If you say so."

—Amethyst truly did not want to catch whispers and looks pointed her way. She wasn't in the mood right now. There were no words she could use to describe what she was feeling; she wasn't pissed nor sad, nor happy. She was just...she was just not in the mood.

Her feet carried her through the twists and turns of her hometown. Memories lingered in the back of her mind, peering through the walls of her heart. They grew claws, scratched at the hardened surfaces, and when Amethyst felt them almost carve a hole in her greatest defence, she stopped, inhaled deeply, and rebuilt the walls all the same.

Simple.

"Where are you?" Amethyst hummed under her breath. Her words were carried by the breeze, reaching the ears of the intangible. Shadows heard her loud and clear.

This way.

Their voices sounded like static. If the universe had a voice, Amethyst supposed it would sound like that. Then again, Amethyst supposed the universe did have a voice. Humans were simply not meant to hear it.

Tracing the faint flares of her soulmate's magic, following the metaphysical connection of their bond, Amethyst walked to a sheltered house. It was tucked away from the main part of Magnolia, quiet and inconspicuous.

Fitting, she thought.

As a former mage of the Phantom Lord guild, Totomaru had to keep hidden, lest the Magic Council found his ass and threw him in jail. Reaching up to the door, Amethyst tapped her knuckles against it, twice, and then a third time for good measure. Her eyes flashed an electric purple. She could faintly hear the scrapes of a chair against hardwood flooring, then the thudding of footsteps upon the ground and the rustle of the doorknob.

The door swung open. Totomaru stood to his full, aged height (and Amethyst would blame her hormones for thinking he looked good).

"Can I help you?" he asked, arching a brow.

"Is Romeo inside?"

Her ears picked up on a chair toppling over, footsteps hurrying over and increasing in volume with each second. Romeo appeared in front of her, flushed and surprised.

"Amethyst!" he exclaimed, leaping forward and catching her into a hug. His arms wound around her waist, holding her tightly, and Amethyst returned the sentiment. She lowered her head, pressing her cheek against his hair and sighing softly as the familiar scent of home filled her senses.

Totomaru leant against the entryway, his arms moving to cross over his chest. He watched the scene with a sense of contemplation. Totomaru had heard a lot about Amethyst from his student; he learnt that she was his motivation, the reason why he kept persevering even when the odds seemed against him. It felt almost like he knew her— not the facade she presented, no. Like he knew her. The true Amethyst.

Totomaru had heard long ago that soulmates would never be able to hide anything from each other. Their souls were connected in a way that transcended the secrecy of privacy. Yet Romeo would tell him time and time again how she would hide her pain. He didn't know how, but Amethyst had this way of deterring her emotions from reaching the bond that connected her to Romeo. Totomaru thought that wasn't possible. Obviously, this Amethyst girl seemed to make the impossible possible. How else would she be this famous at fifteen? Or was she sixteen now? Totomaru didn't know. Time just kept rolling forward; it didn't care if people failed to catch up.

"Are you going on another mission?" Romeo inquired, staring up at his soulmate. His chin laid on her chest, cushioned by her titties (and if he thought of her flush and bare when the lights were out and the moon was high in the sky, a blanket covering his sinful actions, well, Romeo, too, would blame it on his hormones).

"Yes," she answered. "I should be back by the end of this week."

Romeo's eyes seemed to dull a bit. "Take care," he told her, but even his teacher could hear the way it sounded strained.

"Of course." Amethyst reached up, brushing a strand of his hair away from his face. The way she looked at him— it had Romeo breathing sharply. Such fondness. What did he do to ever deserve this? "I'll return with gifts."

His grip loosened. A lopsided grin washed across his face. "You're the best."

Grief sits on their shoulders, shelved away and collecting dust. They're one and the same, Totomaru mused. They both ignore their feelings. Totomaru remembered crossing paths with Romeo, when he was young and filled with anger, denial and pain. He remembered the eyes that glared at him. The determination that stemmed from a broken heart. Totomaru offered to teach him magic then and there; Romeo reminded him of himself. Lost. Confused. The world did not take kindly to people who lost their footing. They would shove them aside and continue on their path because what good were people if they didn't keep themselves standing?

Didn't keep themselves fighting?

Totomaru learned early on in life that no matter how much he tried, there was always someone who was better, stronger—superior. He supposed that there was a blessing hiding in that revelation. It meant he could afford to be weak, could afford to take a break, could afford to lose his footing. Totomaru wasn't obliged to pick up his weapons and go to war every day. He could remain as is. Weak. Teaching those to become stronger rather than seek something that was not his, to begin with. Totomaru knew that those who remained at the top for so very long were the ones that would inevitably fall and crash. There was only so much a person could do.

Amethyst turned and bowed. "Thank you for taking care of him."

Shock palpitated through his body. He didn't expect to be addressed. "It's no problem," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Kid has potential, even if he slacks off from time to time." That was a lie. They all knew it. Romeo worked himself to the bone to get stronger, to do better, to become better. All so he could catch up to his older soulmate.

"I'm glad to hear that." Amethyst smiled faintly.

Then, with just a kiss on Romeo's forehead and a short promise of return, she left. Totomaru and Romeo were left at the entrance, lost in their own train of thoughts.

"She's...an enigma."

Romeo scrunched his face. "A what?"

"A puzzle," he explained. "Something mysterious and almost difficult to understand." Totomaru saw the look of understanding cross his student's face. It curved into something that smelt like anguish, felt like a searing burn. "Remember that. I'll put it on your next quiz."

"Huh? What quiz?! You never do quizzes!"

Totomaru placed a hand on his shoulder and directed him back inside, away from the harbinger of heartache. "I do now."

The door shut softly behind them, muffling the sounds of protests leaving Romeo's lips and the blatant, apathetic replies belonging to Totomatu. The young must stay young. Totomatu firmly believed that. He knew all too well what happened when youth and childhood were stripped away from needy hands. One prime example would be the girl that seemed, strangely, like shadows.

──────〔🦋〕──────

Hopping from train to train, Amethyst finally reached the station she needed to be at. The Magic Council had gone out of their way (not really) to avoid unnecessary potential communication problems and chose a designated spot for Amethyst and her partners to meet. She wasn't looking forward to this mission— Amethyst preferred to work alone. It was easier. And it was comfortable.

Besides, was she truly alone when shadows lingered in every corner of the world?

She could speak to them, hear their response and feel their presence.

What more could she need?

The sun was shining high and hot above her head. She sighed, watching as the birds chirped and cawed happily. There was something disgusting about the heat. Well, not disgusting. But something like that. Something that clawed at her chest—

"Why's your skin so hot?" a young girl pressed her hand against her soulmate's arm, feeling the heat exuding off his skin. It licked flames of comfort in her chest, as if someone wrapped a blanket around her. She sat in his arms, pressed against his back.

"Because I'm hot," her soulmate answered.

She furrowed her brows. "As in good looking?"

"Hah!" Another laughed, a hand holding his stomach. "Have you seen him? Not even close!"

"Shut up, you frosty stripper!"

"Make me, flamebrain!"

—whatever it was, Amethyst didn't like it. But the cold wasn't any better—

"Why're you cold, then?" she asked, tilting her head up. Question marks seemingly manifested over her head, and her soulmate felt something melt in his chest.

Someone answered for him, metal clinking in his mouth, "Because his heart is frozen."

"Oi! Shut the fuc—"

"Gray!" A furious blonde whacked him over the head. "Amethyst is right here!"

—and Amethyst thought that the best place for her to reside in was with the shadows. The sun never touched down there, and there was no chilly breeze either. There was just darkness. People thought it was scary, stripped of all senses, but they only needed to rely on what was around them. Shadows meant no harm. They longed for attention, and it was that longing that drank them dry.

People feared them.

Until one did not.

And they helped her. Would continue to.

"Hey, hey, Amethyst, right? Have you been waiting long?" Amethyst held back a sigh. This was going to be so tedious. It's fine, she told herself. I'll just let them follow me, do the work, finish this mission quickly and return home, but not without gifts. I promised I'd get something for Romeo. Her gaze turned slowly, her body following her movement. She clutched the strap of her bag tighter, trying to ease out this irritation that seemed to seep into her. It didn't quite make sense– how she could go from feeling nothing to something in the matter of just a millisecond.

Her answer, however, came reasonably quicker.

Amethyst laid eyes upon two people. Any other day, and she wouldn't have given them a second thought. Any other moment, maybe any other universe, and they wouldn't have mattered, but why was the world tuning out—

"When you meet your soulmate," a white-haired mage once said, "it's like everything suddenly shifts to them. Your whole world begins to revolve around them."

—and why were her surroundings beginning to blur like a dream coming true—

"One day, when you're older, you'll know."

—had that one day already arrived?

And why was it not them?