He doesn't realize how much of the day had passed until it's almost nine at night. Everything was so foggy, and he worries as he realizes that he hasn't been so foggy for the entirety of the day like this before. 

It's like he was on the verge of falling asleep but never actually falling asleep and pieces of the day are missing, so he wracks his brain trying to remember the details. 

There's the fact that he was able to act normal enough, but then there are the parts that take long to click.

It's annoying and he feels tears fall as he realizes that he kind of is not okay.

He leans into Shinso more as he thinks and feels that everything will be okay if he sticks with his friends. 

They'd help him. 

At least, they'd give him space to heal and shit.

Leaning like this against someone, especially someone so important and trustworthy is okay for Kaminari. 

He doesn't have to justify himself, but kind of feel like he does, even to himself with his past and how he has flashbacks randomly. Today is particularly bad, even Shinso and his presence aren't enough to keep the triggering memories at bay. 

No, instead they come at full-force and cause him to tense up randomly as a certain graphic memory pops up in his head. 

In order to keep those thoughts away, he tries to think about what he actually did throughout the day. Even small things will be fine as long as he gets some more information about his actions. That way he won't feel like a complete dumbass when he's asked a question about this day in particular. Yes, he knows that it's highly unlikely that it would happen, but he expects a lot from himself, and forgetting pieces of his day is the least he can expect.

"Uh."

The blond turns to Shinso who looks kind of red. 

Cute.

"What's wrong?" Kaminari asks.

"Uh, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to sleep already."

Kaminari nods, leaning even more on the other poor teen's shoulder. He's way too tired mentally and physically for some reason. 

Well, not for some reason, the reason is the same as always, not taking care of his mental health.

Oops.

They were both propped up on three pillows each as they watched, and not wanting to move too much, all they did was remove one pillow each and move the laptop aside.

With that, Kaminari went back to leaning onto Shinso and sighing, almost sounding relieving to Shinso.

Maybe he was relieved.

"Night."

"Night."

Shinso will die from happiness. Oh god, Kaminari is so cute.

As Kaminari falls asleep quickly, Shinso stays up and thinks about the next day.

Today was hard for Kaminari.

He spaced out more than usual and he's been doing bad for a while now. It's easy to notice when he takes too long to answer or moves slowly.

He's been tensing up way too much along with flinching.

It's like he's waiting for something to happen, and the changing rooms at school have gotten worse and worse for Kaminari.

Shinso can tell that the clinking of the belts set Kaminari off.

It took a while to notice, but he knows now, so Shinso usually opts to go without a belt now that he's noticed how the noises set him off. 

Quick looks at the blond today told Shinso all that he needed to know. Kaminari was not all there today. The distant look in his eyes were concerning. Same thing with how low Kaminari spoke when he had that look. 

It wasn't accompanied with a smile and an energetic nature. No, instead it was a monotone answer. Simple and to the point. It made Shinso sad knowing the feeling. 

Combing his hands through the blond's hair, Shinso plans out tomorrow. 

Nothing is ever really set in stone because Kaminari's mom will come to the dorms randomly to pick him up. Since he doesn't have his phone, he's usually left wondering constantly if his mom will show up and come looking for him. Kaminari has obviously grown to kind of hate his mom's presence.

"I heard her talking on the phone with him. She said she loved him and everything. It's obvious she doesn't believe me. Please don't tell Bakugo," he'd said. 

The look on his face as he admitted it to Shinso was almost enough to make him go and give Yukako a word of his own. He sounded so utterly defeated and Shinso almost wrapped him in a hug right then. 

Tomorrow Shinso will make sure Kaminari is comfortable for as long as possible until his mom shows up. If she does. 

No one ever knows. 

~~~~~

Playing games in the common area is fun for everyone, especially Kaminari because he's so good at the games on the Wii. From Just Dance to Mario Kart, no matter what it is, Kaminari is at the top. 

Everyone is having a great time. Shinso watches Kaminari and out of the corner of his eye, Shinso can see Todoroki subtly pressed against Bakugo on the small couch near them, as they both watch their friends yell excitedly over the stupid game.

"Kaminari!"

Said blond stops in his tracks and looks over to where some of the class had turned to, which definitely wasn't the best thing to do .

There Yukako was, looking for the blond who had stopped playing Mario Kart, smile completely gone as he turned to his mom, walking quickly over to her as he shoved the remote he had into Sero's hands. He hadn't been playing.

Kaminari rushed to his mom who was on the phone. 

"No, he's right here. Love, I need to go shopping with him..." she continues her conversation with who Shinso is guessing is Kaminari's dad, and the look on Kaminari's face as he bites the inside of his cheek is heartbreaking for Kaminari's friends.

"...Yeah, okay. Love- babe- love, wait. I need to ask him someth- yes. Okay, hold on," she says into the phone. 

Bitch.

"Hey, sweety, you wanna come to the house this weekend?" She asks in a rush.

"Um, no, Ma. Not this weekend. Sorry," he says, smiling and hugging Yukako.

She nods, looking upset as she hugs him back. "Okay," she starts abruptly and angrily, "Bye."

Yukako walks away and Kaminari has his hand slightly out, reaching out for her, fake smile falling once again as his friends watch his heart break. Kaminari doesn't turn to the living room once his mom leaves, instead, he walks calmly to the stairs and starts making his way up. 

The other classmates, most of them, don't even notice the exchange between the blond and his mom. His friends however, did and feel the lingering sadness at the sight of the exchange. 

"I'm gonna go check on him," Shinso tells Bakugo who looks ready to combust in his seat after angrily sitting there the whole time, doing nothing. 

He runs up and once he's on Kaminari's floor, he runs to his room. 

The same knock pattern as usual prompts Shinso to hear a whole bunch of scattering noises in the room. 

"Um, I- hold on. I'll be righ- Coming!" The yell is muffled through the door.

After a minute, the door is opened.

"Sorry, my room was a mess."

Shinso nods and looks around, not seeing mess anywhere. Not even stuffed under his bed.

"Are you okay?"

Kaminari nods as he sits on his bed carefully.

"Yeah. Why?"

Shinso shakes his head, not buying it.

"Your mom was talking to your dad wasn't she?"

Kaminari takes a deep breath and nods. "Mhm."

"I'm sorry. That's a really fucked up thing to do."

Kaminari laughs slightly. "Kinda. Yeah."

Shinso leans into the blond, positioning himself lower so that he doesn't come off as too much or bigger than Kaminari. The blond leans back into him and they don't mention it. 

"Were you going to hurt yourself?"

The question seems so loud, even with the fan that Kaminari had recently gotten. 

Kaminari's head drops onto Shinso's shoulder. "Yeah."

The admittance has Shinso infinitely glad he came when he did.

"Had you already started?"

"No."

"Good. I won't tell you to stop, but- no. No buts. Just take care of yourself. We're always here you weirdo. Even if you smell sometimes, just go to my room."

Kaminari doesn't even shove Shinso playfully. "My mom hates me."

His voice is so raw. It's not hiding anything. He's sad and Shinso can tell. It's so obvious, and Shinso doesn't blame Kaminari for it. He's a victim. A survivor and no one can take that away from Kaminari by making him feel guilty. 

"You don't deserve all of this."

"Okay."

He doesn't sound like he believes it. 

"I'll try to stop the hurting myself, though. The Band-Aids help, but sometimes- it's just that I need to stop the panicking before I do anything and trying to open the Band-Aids is hard when I'm shaking."

With a deep breath, Shinso holds out his hand for Kaminari.

Kaminari hesitates, but reaches for Shinso's hand quickly after as if he wanted to do it before he psyched himself out.

When Shinso intertwines their fingers, Kaminari tenses slightly, but laughs wetly, sobs passing through. 

"He would hold my hand in the car. His hands were always on me. Yours are different, though. They're pretty and soft," he sniffles before quickly adding, "even if they're kind of dirty looking."

Shinso laughs and refrains from giving the blond's hand a squeeze.

Kaminari's head stays on Shinso's shoulder as they both fall asleep. 

Kaminari has been so tired all of the time, and with Shinso's insomnia, they both don't really sleep that often, so it's times like these that they take advantage and get all the sleep they can with each other. 

It's cheesy and disgusting, and Shinso wants to throw up at the bubbly feeling he gets because of it. 

Ugh, now he has to go to the store tomorrow.

What has his life become?

~~~~~

When Shinso wakes up, it's to darkness outside and also inside the room. It had been day when he and Shinso fell asleep so it was probably an early ass hour in the morning.

"Psst, Kami."

Nothing.

He shoves the blond and said blond whines in his sleep, covering his face, but still doesn't wake.

Hm. Okay.

He gets off the bed and checks his phone quickly, which blinds the fuck out of him. Ow. Stupid ass brightness.

It's five, almost six. Perfect. 

He'll just write Kaminari a note and head out quickly. Hopefully he'll already be back before he wakes up.

He grabs a random blank paper he found on Kaminari's desk and a random pen before scribbling out a note in neat handwriting.

Hey, Kami. I'll be back soon. I'm just headed to the store real fast. Text me if you need anything.

With that, Shinso jets out quietly and practically runs to the closest store. 

He just hopes they have what he needs. 

In purple specifically.

Good thing he's wearing shorts cause damn, it's not cold out at all. 

He gets to the store out of breath, and rushes to a specific aisle. He looks through the boxes in a rush and laughs in triumph when they have the purple Band-Aids. After that, he rushes to another aisle to get a permanent marker. 

With that, and way out of breath, he heads to the cash register to pay for the two items. 

And some gum. 

Kaminari bites on the inside of his cheek too much. 

The girl at the register looks at him weirdly and he gives a small smile, almost in apology as he realizes how insane he looks. 

He didn't fix his hair and then he came running, so his hair is definitely a mess.

He pays silently and then leaves with a thank you before dropping to sit down on the floor right outside of the store, taking out the box and unwrapping the Band-Aids, throwing the wrappers in the bag that they came in. 

Once they're all unwrapped, he writes on each Band-Aid. 

There's a tap on his shoulder and he jumps, almost dropping the box of the Band-Aids that had already been written on. He didn't want them to be dirty. 

He looks over at his shoulder, seeing the girl from the store there. 

"Um, sorry. Do you need me to move?" He asks, grabbing the stuff around him and getting up. 

"Oh, no. It's just that it's never busy this early and wanted to see what you were doing," she smiles. 

She's pretty, but he's in a hurry and not interested, so he barely spares a glance as he picks up the Sharpie that he hadn't noticed had fallen.

"I'm writing on Band-Aids. I have to go, so bye."

He rushes away, holding the last three non-written on Band-Aids and writing the last three things on them as he walks quickly. 

He can multi-task. 

Once he's near the campus, he makes sure the Band-Aid box is closed.

It's still dark out, but when he gets to Kaminari's room, the blond is there, standing. He's obviously caught off guard and jumps slightly, almost dropping the note that Shinso had written him, which was in his hand. 

"Sorry. I tried to hurry back."

Kaminari laughs lightly. "It's okay."

Then after a moment of silence, Kaminari clears his throat. Shinso looks down and gets kind of red, suddenly kind of embarrased at what he had for the blond. Shinso silently psyches himself up into giving the blond what was in his hands.

Shinso hands him a plastic bag and he grabs it.

"Huh?"

"Just open it."

Kaminari does, pulling out the box inside.

"You said they help, or whatever, so, uh, just there. You don't have to write on them, I already did that," Shinso says, looking away.

Oh.

They're Band-Aids. Purple Band-Aids. 

Kaminari's favorite color. And apparently Shinso had already written on them.

The box was surrounded by a whole bunch of the Band-Aid wrappers, too. It was kind of funny, and Kaminari laughs at the idea of Shinso unwrapping them all just for this.

"Open them when you're too shaky. M-maybe also when you're not shaky. There's more I have to say about you, I guess, so if you run out, I got you."

Kaminari tears up.

"You're fucking weird."

Shinso flips him off and Kaminari feels nothing but warmth. 

Man.

***
Word Count: 2411
YALL i had sm shit to do oml. finals week is next week and damn I had a lot to do today. I have a five-page essay due tomorrow. I finished it today and five pages isn't really a lot but damn i was just procrastinating to the MAX. then i had two discussions due today which i finished. also i have to finish the other writings for my final for first block which is due tomorrow and im not done but this chapter will go up before 9>:) um ALSO fun fact: a year after everything came out for me, my mom told me my dad would be going with us to celebrate easter on that day at the lake and i had a panic attack and said i wasn't going if he was. she got mad and then uninvited him but the entire time i couldn't enjoy easter cause i was worried my dad would show up:) I HOPE YALL liked this chapter and damn this A/N is longer than the rest of the chapterLMAOO. Next chapter will go up next sunday at 8pm central time. I love you all sm <3