"So you said last time you were stressed about finals. Has what I told you about worked? Have you practiced anything?"

Kaminari chews his gum, nodding.

"Well, it's kind of working. You know Shinso?" He pauses and the lady nods.

"Well, he's helped with that since I told him. My friend Bakugo, too. I just haven't told my teacher," the blond admits.

The counselor nods in approval.

"That's very good work. Now, if you ever find yourself unable to do what I recommend, remember it's not bad so you shouldn't feel worried about it. It's just stuff I recommend, not require you to do. You have a choice."

Kaminari nods, listening to her words.

"Same goes for if you don't like something I recommend. Maybe the method of doing it is not for you. Tell me and I'll know it's not for you. It's simple. I'm here to help you cope with your trauma. I might not be able to make it better or go away, so like I said in previous meetings, keep that in mind. My goal is only to help you cope and understand your emotions and trauma."

The atmosphere is calm and even though Kaminari knows that, he's filled with overwhelming anxiety.

He just continues chewing his gum. That really does help.

"Now, is there anything you'd like to discuss? I know you didn't like counseling the first time around. I hope this time is better, but communication is what we're aiming for. It might take time, but do not stress. Easier said than done, right? Just keep in mind, here we do things at your pace. There's no rush," she smiles.

"You're so nice," he blurts.

"Maybe, but it could also be that you don't get a lot of respect in your life. With the information you've given me so far it seems like you give more respect than you get. Usually people like you are surprised when people offer you the bare minimum. It's quite upsetting seeing how many people are like you, but hopefully, in time, I can help you see your self worth."

Fiddling with his fingers, chewing his gum, and moving his leg up and down, he nods.

"...so you're not nice?" He jokes.

It feels comfortable enough to do that. Even though it's only been a few sessions, and he's still really closed up about a lot, he makes dumb jokes.

Sometimes he gets amused smiles and other times, like this, he gets a laugh.

It's only been a few minutes and he's already being called out on stuff.

"So, obviously this is a counseling session, to talk about me, but it's so weird. And you know, like the harder stuff, I can just... start talking about it?"

Arai, the counselor- wait is that even her name?

He squints slightly at her desk which has a name plate and- yep, Arai.

Well, Arai nods encouragingly. "Yes, but there's no hurry. You don't have to push yourself to."

Kaminari shakes his head. "I'm here to talk about that. I just needed to know that it was fine if I just blurt shit out."

"Oh, then yes, it's fine." Her smile is so nice.

It's real and it makes Kaminari more comfortable.

"Okay well, so I don't remember exactly when it started. I could ask my mom a simple question, but it's really not that simple," he breathes, finally saying what he's wanted for so long.

For someone to hear his story the right way.

"There was a point in time where my mom and dad were separated and I think it's cause my dad cheated. I don't want to ask her because I don't want her to feel sad and remember that she was cheated on," he rationalizes.

She nods, waiting for him to continue.

"So during that time, I would switch back and forth between them. One of those times, I remember eating these cookies. Milano cookies specifically. And then we're in the room, and he tells me to suck on his fingers," Kaminari talks about it like it's not him he's talking about.

Arai notices.

"So I do that cause why the fuck not? I was so young I didn't even understand the implications. Then he tells me to kiss him like the people in my mom's shows. So I do because, again, I didn't understand why I shouldn't. I didn't know how to do it either and when his tongue touched mine, I was just confused. It was disgusting."

Kaminari remembers the feeling. The texture. In the beginning it was confusing, but after a few years it just became disgusting.

"Yeah so that was how it started. I don't think anything else happened beyond that on the first day. If something did, I don't remember. Then there's many times it happened but I can't remember which ones happened first. I have to really think about it and that's not it for me," he laughs.

The fiddling with his fingers never stops, grounding himself and keeping him from falling apart as he admits his trauma.

"I don't really count that at all, but I'm sure that's how it started. I think about it a lot."

"Okay I'm gonna stop you there. You don't count it?"

He nods. "Like, nothing happened."

Arai shakes her head. "That experience is also traumatic. He took advantage of you because you were oblivious to what it all meant. That's traumatic."

Kaminari chews his gum.

"You need to realize that just because something doesn't seem 'as bad', it doesn't mean it 'doesn't count' or it's not as traumatizing for anyone, especially kids who start learning and picking up habits. Also, just because something is forgotten, it doesn't mean it's not as important, got that? Remember that for when you ever get certain flashbacks that you hadn't remembered before. It's a response that people have to help them cope."

All this information is overwhelming for the blond as be listens carefully.

Man he's fucked up.

His leg bounces like crazy and he's gone from fiddling with his fingers to picking at the skin around them.

"I'm done talking about that," he says, looking at the clock on the wall. It takes him forever to get the time, though. The clocks with hands always annoyed him because of this.

He has about ten minutes left.

"At least, for today" he adds with a small smile, trying not to seem rude.

Arai nods, scribbling stuff down. Kaminari has no idea, and really can't find himself to care.

"I will be bringing some stuff up during our next session. In the meantime, we have less than ten minutes. Would you like to be done or do you want to talk about something else?"

Kaminari perks up at the question. He can be done when he wants, but he has questions.

"So, I like Shinso, but I'm just not ready to date. I'm also uncomfortable with the idea of having a partner. I think that's just because of my personal shit, but I really like him," Kaminari explains.

Arai nods.

"Your sexuality should be something you should take time to think about. It doesn't have to tie in with your trauma, but it could. There's no certain answer, though. Also if you set boundaries with your partner, it could definitely make relationships more appealing to you once you realize that the boundaries are there. This Shinso sounds like someone who will respect the boundaries you set, but again, we're in no rush here. There's no need to go and rush to find solutions and answers. That will take time."

~~~~~

They balance on one foot first. They have no idea how to actually get good at this, winging it from the get go, so balancing seems important, they think.

So now they're here, standing on the skateboard, or trying to stand on the skateboard with one foot. They look dumb. Really dumb, and they can't stop laughing at each other and themselves.

It's shaky and they almost fall at least thirty times each before they feel safe and stable enough to just stand on the skateboard without shaking. It's hard to accomplish, and it takes them way longer than they expected, over an hour.

They had focused on standing on both feet last time they practiced.

They should really look up how to do this all right, but they feel that just trying stuff out together first would be fun.

And, that's all that matters with this new hobby of theirs, right?

Kaminari gets the one foot thing first, and then continues practicing that as Shinso continues on his own, laughing at himself when he almost falls on his face about fifteen more times before he gets it, too.

For some reason their legs just wouldn't stop shaking because they were nervous of falling.

Once they got over that and trusted that they could keep themselves balanced enough, they were able to accomplish what they wanted.

Since they both were able to accomplish this, and seeing that it was dark, they both decided that it would be best to call it quits and start their workout. Deciding that it was better to do stuff together, they had come up with a schedule that fit both of their daily lives.

They study and work out together. They have dinner together and head to sleep at the same time.

They wake up at the same time, eat breakfast together, and even have lunch together.

Maybe it's a bit much, but it helps Kaminari feel motivated to stick to a schedule and do what he needs to do for the day, especially with finals this week.

The day after Aizawa talked to him because of Iida, he had gone to a counselor and he's been going constantly.

His birthday is also coming up, and he has almost forgotten but Bakugo reminded him and after that, the entire squad started making plans for his birthday in order to celebrate it with him.

Finals were first and then it was his birthday. After that, school let out for summer break before the new school year and new grade.

It was scary.

But for the first time in a while, thanks to Shinso and his friends, he feels like he can do it.

They've motivated him along with his other classmates and teachers.

While his mom is still a rough subject, other stuff has gotten better. He has to go see her this week. She had come over, for the first time in a while, and told him they had to talk about something, so he kind of really has to go.

He's absolutely dreading it.

"Okay, let's get started," Shinso says.

They've already stretched, correctly. Since they both don't have quirks that require a certain area to focus on while using their quirk, they decided to have the same workout regiment.

They focus on the entire body, focusing on one thing each time they do.

Monday is arms, Tuesday is abs, Wednesday is legs, and so on. There's so much, and some days they don't use weights which is somehow worse for Kaminari.

As they do their workout, their classmates go in and out of the gym, greeting them to which they greet back.

"You ready for finals?"

"I'll hit you. Shut up," Kaminari groans.

Shinso frowns, throwing the blond his middle finger with no thumb and Kaminari gasps.

"No thumb?"

"You don't deserve it."

Kaminari laughs slightly and shakes his head in amusement.

"How was your session yesterday?" Shinso asks, trying to start up a conversation as they both do their reps.

Kaminari shrugs through a harsh breath. "Fine. She says I do a lot of rushing. Trying to do stuff perfectly quickly and shit like that. She tells me to try stuff, like the studying thing, but also other stuff, and that I shouldn't give up when I can't get it the first time. Shit like that."

Shinso nods in acknowledgement.

"You do understand that, though? You understand that you really can't be so hard on yourself for that kind of stuff?"

Kaminari huffs, messing up his breathing slightly, but he fixes it.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm just gonna try what she told me. Practice. Hopefully it helps me."

~~~~~

"Chicken or Meat?"

Kaminari looks at Shinso and puts his hand on his chin, signifying that he's thinking very intensely.

Shinso groans, leaning on the counter dramatically. "If you don't choose fast I'm throwing both at you."

Kaminari laughs, "Fine, meat."

With a nod, Shinso starts making their dinner. It's protein, but he makes sure to add some carbs and vegetables. Kaminari has also made them some tea to calm down for the day before they go study.

While he's still not happy, Kaminari feels safe to say he feels better.

Not in the way where he's all good, but in the way that he has improved. It's not a lot, probably, but to him it feels like he won the Olympics or something.

"So what did you want to go over tonight?"

"History," he answers so fast and Shinso laughs at that.

Kaminari smiles as the other continues to laugh.

"Alright."

Kaminari watches as Shinso does his thing. He seasons the meat, washes the rice, cuts the vegetables, and damn does he look good doing it.

His hands chop the vegetables quickly and efficiently season the meat.

Damn, why is that attractive?

Before Kaminari knows it, Shinso has cooked everything and is serving them their plates.

They go sit at a table, sitting across from one another and Kaminari pours them their tea. Kaminari thanks Shinso for the food before they both dig in and talk about random stuff.

They end up talking about what they should try on the skateboard next.

"We could learn how to push ourselves forward and stop, but slowly obviously. Also, we should buy knee pads and shit," Kaminari thinks out loud.

"Yeah, I was thinking about the helmets and stuff. We can go after you get back from your house tomorrow. You're not staying over, right?"

Kaminari shakes his head. "No."

Shinso nods in approval. "Not to be an asshole, but I don't like your mom and think you shouldn't go with her as often," Shinso says, looking at Kaminari in the eye before putting vegetables in his mouth.

Kaminari smiles. "Yeah, but I love her. It kinda sucks, but it's whatever. So tomorrow after I get back. Sounds good."

With that, they finish eating, clean up, make sure they have their skateboards, and then make they shower and head to Shinso's room to study history.

Kaminari feels more confident than be has in a while. He hopes it stays that way.

***
Word Count: 2,456
uhhh i don't really have anything to say. Just that my hair cut is so fucking good like WTFFF ive never felt prettier:) OOOOO HAVE A GREAT NEW YEARS EVE. the next chapter will go up on Sunday at 8pm central time. I hope y'all liked this chapter. Thank you sm for reading I love you all<3
Oops I updated way later that I anticipated cause I forgot I'M SORRY i am too intoxicated for this gnnn<3