A hand grips his hair and forces his head back. It's rough and makes Kaminari swallow thickly.

"You like this?"

Kaminari nods.

He always does.

Then he's forced off the bed onto his knees which hurts.

Kisho puts his thing in Kaminari's mouth and Kaminari gets to work.

With Kisho groaning in delight, Kaminari squeezes his eyes shut and just does what he can. He breathes through his nose harshly.

It's hard to breathe with his dad's- dad's thing thrusting in and out roughly. It hits the back of his throat and he finds himself gagging, forcing himself to not throw up.

He's been good his whole life, if he messes up, he doesn't know what his dad will do.

It just hurts and Kaminari can't breathe.

Tears gather in his eyes and he sniffles.

The hand is still in his hair and the other hand rests in between his neck and shoulder.

It makes him cringe and the fingers dig into the skin there.

The hands get tighter and breathing feels impossible. He has no air in his lungs and his dad just keeps moaning and thrusting.

Right when he thinks he's going to pass out, his dad yanks his head back allows him a few gasps of air before thrusting back in. The tears fall down Kaminari's face continuously and before he knows it, the gross liquid spills into his mouth and he swallows it all.

It doesn't taste good at all.

"Are you okay, Princess?"

Kaminari nods.

He wipes his tears and also the drool that had spilled out of his mouth.

He's still panting, trying to catch his breath, but at least he's not naked. Not completely anyway, he has his boxers on.

Kisho had rid him of his shirt at the beginning and later on the pants.

All he feels is anxiety.

"Come here."

Kaminari turns, going over to his dad.

A rough tug makes him look up and his dad smiles. "You know I love you, right?"

Kaminari nods.

"Do you love me?"

Kaminari nods.

His dad looks so pleased and Kaminari blinks.

With a motion, Kisho instructs Kaminari to stand, so he does. It's simple. Just do what's wanted and then leave.

Kisho pulls down Kaminari's boxers. "Princess. Don't talk about this, okay?"

Kaminari nods.

---

He sits up, scrambling with a gasp, trying to get out of the bed.

As soon as his arms are untangled, he struggles with getting out of the bed, tripping and falling to the ground with a loud thump, having a panic attack.

He screams and covers his ears because everything feels like too much.

His skin feels prickly and he feels the urge to scratch, but he's covering his ears so he only digs his nails into his head hard. It hurts, but it takes away the feeling of everything else.

Everything else is too much right now.

He curses himself through the panic.

I should've stayed with Shinso tonight.

He thinks it over and over, remembering how the other teen kept offering that be stay. The small openings he kept creating for Kaminari to take. He should have taken one of those openings, but he had left some time after the over sharing.

He gasps for air, gripping harder on his head.

Kaminari's heart beats so fast in his chest, god he can still feel the hand on his neck. He cringes and bites his lip, too.

With nothing but overwhelming panic washing over him, he stays on the floor, tired and still unable to catch his breath. Why is everything so hard? It shouldn't be this hard. He's only 15.

Almost 16.

Shit. What is he doing to do once he graduates? He can't get a job. UA doesn't allow that. They have work studies.

Still on the floor, head between his arms, touching the floor, there's a knock.

If he's quiet maybe he can convince them that he's asleep.

"Kami?"

Kirishima?

Oh. His room is right above his.

How did Iida and Koda not hear him?

There's another knock, but Kaminari stays still, staring at the floor.

"Come on. Open the door."

There's no noise or anything coming from either one of them and Kaminari prays that he goes away.

"I'm not leaving till you do."

Just convince him I'm asleep.

Movement outside scares him and he jumps slightly. Kirishima let's out a small grunt and there's shuffling before it goes quiet.

"I'll sit here until morning if I have to."

Tears fall from Kaminari's eyes.

They care.

Even if that's true, he can't open the door now. The panic attack is over but he feels this static-y feeling, body tingling and now he's crying. He can't really open the door in this state. Kirishima would flip.

The boy is so kind, but Kaminari can't handle how overwhelmingly open he is.

If he's upset, you'll know. If he's happy, the entire block lights up with his light energy. And god if he's worried, he'll do this.

After a few minutes of allowing himself to cry silently, Kaminari gets up.

Staying in that position hurt and made his knees wobbly. A quick trip to the bathroom and a lot of trying to make the 'I was just crying' look go away, leaves him standing on front of his door, trying to force himself to open it.

Kirishima already knows he's been there since Kaminari heard him get up, but he can't face the red head.

"What's up?" The blond asks.

He almost face-palms. He guesses that'll have to do for now.

"Open the door, Kami."

He bites the inside of his cheek.

"I don't want to."

It sounds childish, it really does, but it's true. He's doesn't want to.

"Okay, man. That's fine. Just- just don't do anything stupid. We care about you. Do you want Shinso?"

Yes.

"No. It's all good. Thanks."

As footsteps retreat, he slumps, shoulders still tense, but he crawls into his bed.

It's so late at night.

Will he even be able to go back to sleep?

They're going out today. If he doesn't get more sleep, he'll be grumpy

There's nothing else to do rather than sleep because he doesn't have a phone. The clock he has in his room tells him how late it is.

Almost four in the morning.

Bakugo said he could go bother him, too, but did he really mean it? He probably said it in the moment, thinking that Kaminari wouldn't take up the offer.

Shinso has been dealing with his shit for way too long. He deserves a break from the blond.

He'll suck it up and try to fall asleep.

~~~~~

He ended up going down to make breakfast as soon as it turned five.

Sleep was not an easy thing to get for him, and the shaky feeling that the panic attack left behind is starting to anger him. It makes him feel weak.

But he also hopes no one comes down because he might cry.

Making a simple breakfast for himself might help. He's not even hungry but he eats anyway.

Three eggs and a piece of toast. It's enough to not make him feel gross, but also enough to get some sort of nutrition. He tries to hurry because some of his classmates head out for their runs early.

He should do that.

Go for a run.

He's fallen behind on training.

Not really, he can go against any classmate and he has equal ground, but he hasn't been sticking to his workout schedule.

He's missed so many days he had set to work out in the last month, and he tried to blame it on his trauma, but he's just being lazy at this point. Trauma. He almost laughs.

It's not as bad for him as for other people with the same thing.

Trauma is a dumb thing to call it too. He let it happen. He went beyond, too. He just kept pleasing. It gross.

He goes upstairs to change into running clothes because maybe the pain he gives himself by over training will benefit him in some way rather than a lighter to his hip.

He hasn't put on the Band-Aids Shinso gave him because he loves them. He looks at them all the time. Almost daily. Sometimes four times a day.

So yeah, he looks at them a lot, but doesn't put them on because he knows he won't ask Shinso to make more for him. It's embarrassing. Kaminari is 90% sure that Shinso likes him in a romantic way.

He'd be stupid to not realize at this point.

That being said, it's still embarrassing.

'Hey, Shinso, I used all of the Band-Aids you've given me and so I need more compliments from you'.

IMAGINE.

Hell fucking no.

So he just looks at them.

He thinks about them as he runs. He stretched but not enough. He did that on purpose. Wanted it to hurt more.

His breathing is messed up, too, but he's told himself that he's going to run around the school. It's a big campus and Kaminari only runs about four miles usually.

He knows his other classmates can run it, have ran it before, but Kaminari hasn't built the endurance for it.

So the lack of stretching and lack of endurance has Kaminari wheezing halfway around the campus. It burns, but god, he doesn't want to stop. His throat hurts from the harsh breathing, his legs from the running, abs from the movement.

It hurts and Kaminari loves it.

A hand on his shoulder startles him and he yells, pushing the person away with a small amount of electricity.

He ends up on the floor scrambling away from the person with sore legs.

Obviously, his breathing is still shit, if not worse now.

"Kaminari!"

The voice makes him gasp and look up at Iida.

"What is the matter?" He crouches down coming down to Kaminari.

Iida is worried, barely sweating, breath already normal, but his hair is crazy.

Oh, yeah.

"I shocked you," he wheezes.

Iida nods, but doesn't really care.

"Yes, that is not the issue, however. What are you doing? Are you alright?"

Kaminari nods shakily. He's all over the place and his actions, one after the other, have not helped at all.

Kaminari shakes his head.

Tears well up in his eyes and his lip wobbles as he looks up at Iida.

"No."

Iida looks around, hoping a teacher is nearby, but finds no one.

"Do you want someone? Do you want me to do something?"

The blond is embarrassed. This is his class rep and he's crying after he freaked out and shocked him.

"No. I'm- I'll be fine. I just need a moment. You can go. I'll walk back."

Iida shakes his head, reaching out before stopping.

"Uh, I'll give you a moment. However long. It's dark out still, so no one should be awake yet. Well, other than Momo, Bakugo, and Todoroki, but they usually stay in their rooms. You're never awake this early, though. I'm going to shut up now and give you your moment," Iida finishes and stands up, turning and walking a small distance to give Kaminari his privacy.

Kaminari tries to gather his emotions and become mentally stable. At least for a while.

It takes him about ten minutes and a lot of breathing exercises before he's calmed down. The tears have stopped, and the static-y feeling from before has faded. Nice.

He gets up slowly, body so sore that he almost let's out a gasp of pain in every step.

Iida turns at the noise of Kaminari standing and hurries over to him, offering support.

"I swear I can walk back. You haven't finished your run."

"I will relax today. I haven't had a day like that in a while. I feel I deserve it," Iida says, coming up with an excuse.

They start walking, Kaminari on his own. He can do that. He did this to himself after all. The least he can do it walk on his own. Also he's embarrassed.

"When we get to the dorms, would you like me to get Shinso or Bakugo? Kirishima was also awake earlier."

Kirishima never went back to sleep.

Kaminari shakes his head.

"No, I don't want to bother them. I just- I needed- I don't know what I needed. I just don't want to bother them."

Iida nods.

"I see. I won't make Mr. Aizawa aware of this right now, but he will be notified by the end of the day. I apologize, but it is for your safety."

Kaminari nods, understanding.

"Alright."

At the dorms, Iida motions for him to sit at the island in the kitchen.

Kaminari does, ever so slowly, but does eventually. Iida moves around the kitchen, making some tea.

"I would make coffee, but in your state, tea would be better for you. I'll make some coffee if you'd like some after, but first tea."

Kaminari nods.

He finds that rude, and even though it's been a few seconds already, he replies with a verbal answer. "Okay."

Iida smiles.

"And no one comes down here this early?"

Iida shakes his head. "The earliest is me. By the time I get back, Bakugo has already made breakfast for a few people, usually including me. Then Momo makes herself known, and then right after is Todoroki."

Kaminari smiles. "Bakugo makes breakfast for you?"

Iida nods. "He makes breakfast for the four of us. He even sits with us for a bit and talks with us. Never for long, though, because Midoriya shows up and Bakugo leaves for his run."

Kaminari laughs.

"If I'm right, I'm usually halfway done by now. He should be coming down any minute now."

Kaminari bites the inside of his mouth as Iida gives him his mug.

"He's gonna be mad at me," Kaminari says, grabbing his mug and lifting it.

He blows on the top a bit before taking a sip. It's really hot, but it's good. Makes him feel warm not only because of the heat, but because of the care that Iida is treating him with.

"Maybe, but he cares. Treat yourself better."

***
Word Count: 2,368
Hehe I liked this chapter lol i hope yall did too. Uhhh oops it's past 8 but i forgot to set an alarm to update. Don't worry I'll still update tomorrow at 8pm central time. Today was so good ngl. No one was home and my friend invited me over and we did Christmas baskets AAAAAA mine was so good😈 i obviously won. She felt bad 😭😭 but i liked the one she gave me:) I hope y'all had a good day. I love you all and tysm for reading<3