Waking up from a nightmare is never fun. Especially when you're not even in your own room.

Looking around in a panic, gasp caught in his throat, Kaminari slowly realizes he's still in Sero's room. They'd started watching the movies pretty late, even Mina and Bakugo are still there. 

Everyone is asleep and he's grateful that no one was woken up by his loud awakening. God, he feels like he's about to crawl out of his skin, but the guilt also makes itself known. His friends are practically surrounding him, and he feels guilty for feeling so gross.

The need to leave is suddenly the only thing on his mind as he weaves his way passed his friends. 

God, he's so terrible. 

In his room, he paces back and forth, worried that he woke them all up and that they probably knew what he was worried about. 

Then it hits him. He's worried about tomorrow. Remembering makes it all so much worse. He'll be back first thing Saturday. He'll make something-anything up.

He should clean his room for now. Just to do something to get his mind somewhere else.

He looks around at the mess and realizes the time. Crap, it's way too early. It's almost 4. He has enough time to clean. Maybe if he's fast enough he can get in some of the studying he skipped out on yesterday.

He makes quick work of picking up loose papers, sorting through them. He notices that some are notes that went missing a few weeks ago. They're so messy and he feels the sudden need to redo every single page of notes that look bad, but he quickly shuts that idea down as much as he can. He should focus on his room first. 

One thing at a time.

Going back to quick cleaning, he picks up a pile of papers. There was a pen on one of those, but it rolled under his dresser. 

Just great.

He makes note of the pen, and goes on cleaning the rest of his room, even going as far as reorganizing his drawers.

After some time, he looks around the room, holding the broom and the dust pan. He sighs heavily when he realizes how fast he actually finished.

It didn't take him longer than 30 minutes.

He puts the cleaning supplies away and suddenly remembers the pen as soon as he sits in the bed. He groans in annoyance and gets down on the floor.

He really can't see under all that well so he lies down flat on his stomach to get a clear look at where the pen went. His hand might not be able to fit in that small opening. Damn.

He spots the blue pen and reaches out for it.

Once his hand is completely stretched, he rests his hand on the floor and just lies there. 

He just looks at the pen, hoping it'll somehow roll towards him. It's just out of reach. He knows it's impossible, but that probability seems more likely than him getting it. He knows that if he stretches his arm just a tad bit more, he'll be able to grab it and get up, but holy shit, that seems so hard. 

He knows he's being dramatic. He knows. 

He just can't seem to care enough to try to change that.

He just lies there, staring at the pen. It's like the item is mocking him. Fuck that blue pen.

It isn't until a knock at his door scares him, that he realizes how long he's been lying on the floor, staring at the blue pen. 

Stupid blue pen.

The knock gets louder. Bakugo. Please not now.

"Dunce Face! You're fucking light is on. Open up."

Why is it always him?

He forces himself to get up. It's just a few steps to the door. It's not like the world will end, but he sure wishes his life would.

"Dunce Face I will bust the door down right now if you don't hurry the hell up."

Kaminari opens the door and looks at Bakugo. He definitely just woke up.

His hair is a mess and he still looks half asleep. The angry blond probably woke up and came looking for him as soon as he realized Kaminari was missing. He doesn't deserve friends like them. Fuck, how'd he get them again? 

It's once Bakugo looks into his room that he realizes that there's so much light out now. What time is it?

"Why'd you leave so early?"

Kaminari takes a moment to register what he said. Bakugo wouldn't have known exactly how early Kaminari had left since it's already this late. 

"What?"

"It's seven."

"Oh." He didn't realize that much time had passed.

Bakugo looks at him and Kaminari notices that he's standing at the door and Bakugo is inside his room. When did he get there and did he close the door or was it Bakugo?

Fuck his brain is so slow.

Question. Bakugo asked a question and it's been so long since he asked. Fuck, he needs sleep.

"I- uh- OH! I left early 'cause I couldn't go back to sleep so I thought I would clean here and get in that study time I missed out on."

"Okay, what's up with you?" Bakugo asks, finally getting to the point.

Damn, he was hoping if he seemed dumb enough that Bakugo would just blame it on that. 

"I literally just told you what I was doing. What do you mean?" Just keep acting dumb. Maybe he'll get tired and just leave.

With an eye roll and a huff, Bakugo sits on Kaminari's made bed and pats the other side angrily for Kaminari to sit. 

He blinks when Kaminari makes no movements to go sit down. He's so slow today and it's barely seven. Great.

Once he's on the opposite side of an angry-looking Bakugo, he opens his mouth to ask what the other blond wanted, but is beat by said blond.

"Kaminari."

"oOOoO my name. This must be serious."

Now is not the time to be joking, but sue him.

"Shut up. You fucking know how much I suck at fucking talking you fuck."

Kaminari almost laughs.

"Yeah?"

"You've been all fucking weird recently. Weirder than usual. So what's up?" He asks, leaning back on the pillows and looking around the room. He knows how much Kaminari hates it when people look at him when he's talking about something serious. "And if it's about your parents, then spit it out already. Did your mom bother you about your grades again? Is"

Keep playing dumb. "What?"

Bakugo sits up straight and scoffs at him. 

"F- You need to tell me what the fuck is up with you up there in that small pea brain of yours. You really fucking suck at hiding that shit."

"I-" Kaminari really thought he was doing a good job and hiding this.

"And don't fucking lie."

Kaminari deflates. God. He'll just talk. He can't escape this. Well, there's probably a way, but he's so nervous. There's no way he'd be able to lie his way through this one with how not good he feels. 

"Oh, and if you don't feel fucking, uh, comfortable talking to me or whatever, then I'm taking you to fucking Aizawa or some shitty extra."

He's done for. 

"Alright, god, fuck. I'll talk," Kaminari finally gives in. 

Bakugo smiles at the cursing. 

"I've been up and down, ya know? Like, uh, good, but not all the way good and not for long. It's hard to stay good and earlier I was just really not good, so I just left." 

He really sounded so dumb, but he didn't want to make it a bigger deal than it was.

"There's not always a why, but this time do you have one?" Bakugo asks.

Kaminari is always taken aback by how much Bakugo really understands. 

He nods.

Bakugo opens his mouth to talk but closes it just as fast. He just looks at Kaminari questioningly.

"I don't want to talk about that." He's sure Bakugo has an idea though.

Bakugo nods. "Is is the same reason for all week?"

"Yeah. Haha, awkward," Kaminari laughs.

"If I guess right, will you fucking say if I'm right or not?"

Kaminari just shrugs, feeling nervous. Bakugo will definitely get it, but not in the way that he thinks. He thinks.

"Is it about tomorrow? Going back to your house?"

Kaminari just looks up at Bakugo and nods. "Bingo."

"Do you need an excuse to not go? I can make some shit up," Bakugo immediately offers. 

The warmth that came with that offer was irreplaceable. 

"I got it. It's just one ni- one night," he realizes.

God, he's nervous.

He's so obvious. It's a wonder how no one has figured it out. He wonders if he'd ever tell anyone. Ever.

He can tell Bakugo. Right now. He can do it. Just go out and say it. He really should. It'd be so simple. They're already pretty much talking about it. Can he really just come out and say it?

He bites the inside of his cheek and makes eye-contact with Bakugo who's already been looking at him.

"What is it?" Bakugo asks. His voice is suddenly way more gentle and calm. Something that happens rarely since Bakugo usually resorts to cursing.

"It's about tomorrow." He suddenly feels ten times shakier than before.

Bakugo suddenly gets it, sitting up straight. 

He's going to do it. He's going to tell Bakugo. His friend. His very good friend who cares about him. The proof is right in front of him. Bakugo came to make sure he was okay because he left early. 

Just fucking do it. GO.

"I- Well, it- FUCK. No, I'm sorry. I'm just not ready to tell you," he admits. His eyes burn and he feels the need to cuddle up in a blanket and hide. 

It's so embarrassing. He can't just say it like that. He can't.

Bakugo nods. He looks so calm. 

"Uh, listen. It's alright if you can't. Just, if it's really big, don't hide it. Tell someone. I'll drag your ass somewhere myself if I have to."

Kaminari finds it in himself to laugh. That was so damn stressful. He feels like he could snap in half if someone talked too loud. 

He knows Bakugo hid. He hid everything until he couldn't, so he's just making sure Kaminari doesn't break like he did. Kaminari knows that. The day that Bakugo broke down, class was cancelled and everyone was on edge after. He can't imagine how embarrassed Bakugo must have felt. Having everyone know your business. Bakugo used that, though. He used that and only kept improving after. 

He hopes it's like that for him if he ever breaks. 

~~~~~

Class is whatever after that. He ended up getting in that study time he missed with Bakugo. Bakugo didn't push him on anything afterwards. He just let him goof around and make dumb jokes. 

He never asked what time Kaminari woke up and left, but that was a win. He didn't want to worry the angry blond by telling him he only got two and a half hours of sleep. That would not have been okay with Bakugo. He just hopes it stays hidden. Just until he's ready.

"Kaminari. Line twelve."

He immediately stands up, spotting line twelve on his paper and reading it out loud.

"She walked the dog after her dad told her to."

Present Mic nods in approval and Kaminari sits back down, feeling this sudden surge of pride. He knew English was his best subject and he excelled in it, but the small wins like these were practically everything to him.

"Mina, next line."

He goes on with class, happy that he had tried his hardest to pay attention. It wasn't all that successful, but he tried. He really did, and that was good enough for him.

Lunch rolled around and the small group of friends got together and ate like every other day. Then it hits him that they have tests tomorrow when the group starts discussing studying after school together. It's the most relieving thing he's ever heard- the studying, not the tests, he fucking hates tests-, and he absolutely hates studying. Hates it with a passion. 

"Yeah and Kaminari here will definitely show some improvement with all this studying that he's doing. Good job, dude," Kirishima says, patting him on the back. 

Kaminari instantly nods.

"Well, maybe not that much better, but the studying has made me remember stuff better, so I'll definitely keep doing that."

He feels kind of shy when he's praised for stuff he actually works for. It's weird.

"Hey, don't be all down on yourself like that. You've been doing a lot. I bet you'll pass no problem," Sero encourages.

The others nod in agreement. 

"Thanks for noticing," he smiles. 

"Shut up, of course we notice, Dunce Face," Bakugo suddenly scolds.

Such a mom sometimes, they swear.

Kaminari looks down at his food. Man, it smells great.

"Everyone would be dumb not to notice how hard you've worked this week. Better not drive yourself fucking crazy, though. I'll kill you myself if you do that, idiot."

"As if you'd ever kill anyone. Keep telling yourself that," Kaminari laughs. 

The angry blond just scoffs before slurping his soup angrily as Kaminari is about to eat.

"Do you like it?" Kirishima asks Bakugo.

Kaminari freezes suddenly and stares down at his food, no longer hungry. 

Bakugo shrugs at Kirishima's question, not really caring as he looks over at Kaminari who's just looking down.

The somewhat improvement to the day just disappeared and he wanted to leave that instant. Leave. Yeah, leave. He should definitely leave.

He stands up abruptly, even making Bakugo, who was keeping an eye on him, jump.

"Stomach ache. I'll tell Mr. Aizawa, see you guys later," he says before leaving.

He feels dramatic as he walks out of the cafeteria. Such a stupid thing to freak out over. He should get over it. They're just words.

The pace is fast as he walks to class, but he wishes he could run. He just doesn't want to bring attention to himself. Once he enters the class, he walks over to where Mr. Aizawa is, tapping on his phone. He waits there silently, heart pounding, until the teacher looks up at him from where he's sitting on his desk.

"Yes?"

"I got a stomach thing. Can I miss training today? I'll make it up another day. I'll do anything."

"Yeah, that's fine. Rest up for tomorrow and make sure to study, but take it easy. Oh, and speaking of studying, Nezu approved the extra sessions. They start next week. Now, go take care of yourself. Let me know if your health doesn't improve," he says, practically shoving the blond out. 

"Okay, thanks teach."

With his bag, he takes his time getting back to the dorms once he's outside. He really needed this fresh air. It's so quiet. The trees look amazing and the wind makes the branches sway slightly.

It almost makes him forget about the thoughts that are creeping up. Almost.

In his room, he falls flat on the bed, dropping his bag right next to it. 

The exhaustion hits him like a truck and he groans. Ow. He can feel the pain in his lower back. He was so tired. Only getting a bit of sleep. He sighs heavily and squirms slightly at the tightness of his uniform and tie. The feeling makes him jump up and practically rip the clothes off of himself. 

He decides that changing quickly is best.

Once he's in loose clothes, he lies back on his bed, sprawled out on his back, looking up at the ceiling. He should do something-anything-, but he just can't.

He should study, but the group already decided to study together later. He should train, but he feels sick. He should rewrite those notes he'd wanted to. He should sleep because he barely got any last night. All of those things to do, and he just can't. Especially not with the thoughts of what will happen. Millions of possibilities. 

He curls in on himself as he thinks. The memories moving up to the front of his mind.

He almost told Bakugo today. Crap. Would he have done something about it or taken advantage of his new secret? NO. No. Bakugo would never. None of his friends or classmates would ever.

Would he have stopped him from going? Would he have actually made up anything to prevent that? 

The memories flood in quickly and he runs to his restroom. He pulls out his first aid kit, and grabs the box of cheap Band-Aids. He immediately takes them out of the box as he sits on his restroom floor. The plain, brown bandages all fall out and he opens at least ten of them before grabbing his sharpie which was also in the first aid kit because of last time. 

'Funny'

'Good at English'

'Nice'

'Good teeth'

'Cool hair'

'Fun'

He writes on the Band-Aids, putting them in visible places like his hands and face before standing up with burning eyes and looking in the mirror. 

As he comes up with more ideas about what he likes about himself, he writes on the Band-Aids and puts them on himself. See? He has good qualities. There's no reason to hate himself.

He forces himself not to cry.

~~~~~

At some point, he'd fallen asleep because he wakes up on his bed, restroom light still on. It's dark out, what time is it? He glances over at his clock and shoots up, getting all of his stuff to study with his friends. 

"Oh, I'm so late."

He grabs his books and papers along with a handful of pencils. 

As he rushes to his door to run to Sero's room, he drops some of the crumpled papers he had in his hand. 

"Shit."

He quickly bends down to grab them, accidentally dropping the pencils. 

That's when he lets the tears fall, crying into the cover of his Math book. He's so pathetic, he can't even stay put together enough to go study with his friends.

It's then that he feels a loose Band-Aid on his face and he realizes that he almost left with the Band-Aids still on. How did this turn into a blessing?

He makes himself stand up, running to the restroom to take off all the Band-Aids. 

Once he's sure he got all of them, he's quick to gather his stuff running to Sero's room, two flights up stairs up.

After knocking on the door, he only has a few seconds as he wipes the rest of the tears away before the door is opened, revealing a shocked Sero. Is his face red? Probably.

"Hey! You made it," Kirishima cheers.

Everyone inside is looking at him as he steps into the room, Sero closing the door behind them.

"Yeah," Kaminari confirms.

"I was just about to go get you," Sero says.

"Yeah, we started kind of late to let you get some more sleep since you were feeling sick earlier, and to give you more time, we only did English," Mina explains.

Oh. They waited for me.

"Yeah, since you're so good at it, we thought it wouldn't be a big deal if we did it without you. Bakugo told us that you also didn't get much sleep, so hopefully you feel better now," Kirishima adds.

Kaminari feels his eyes burning as he sits next to Mina where there's an open seat. 

"God, and here I was having a breakdown over being late. Oops," he laughs. 

The others join in on the laughing before a water bottle is thrown at Kaminari.

"Drink up, dumbass. Can't have you passing out on us," Bakugo scolds. 

Kaminari grabs the cold bottle and thanks Bakugo before he drinks it.

Not long after, they get into the rhythm of studying.

He can't help but feel a little guilty for making them start late because of him. Bakugo will miss his bedtime again, and they'll all be up later than they expected. 

The only way he can make this up to them is to stop being so troublesome and to do amazing on those tests tomorrow.

***
Word Count: 3,402
Yall it's called a dust pan💀💀 I knew it was called that but I had it as pala until I proof read it today😭. It legit slipped my mind and I had to Google it. I would've died if i didn't proof read it today lmaoo. Anyway I hope yall liked this chapter. I swear the good shit is coming. By good shit I mean more angst😎. Thank you all for reading. I set the alarm so hell yeah. I'll post the next chapter next Sunday at 8pm central time. I love you all<3