Dinner was his favorite. He didn't expect to eat all that much, but he does.

He hasn't worked out in over twenty-four hours and he feels bad about it. Lazy and unaccomplished. He still feels so exhausted and like he'll cry if anything or anyone touches him without him knowing first. 

Bakugo doesn't, though. He stays on the other side of the table as they eat, doesn't kick his feet out into Kaminari's space. They have a show playing in the background as they eat because neither one of them can stand the silence for too long. 

Kaminari knows that Bakugo's ears ring because of his explosions damaging his ears.

Kaminari doesn't have an excuse like Bakugo does, but his ears also ring when it gets too quiet. He hates it, and it makes him feel like he's making it up.

Looking for attention. 

He wants to go upstairs and cry and just keep crying until he tires himself out. 

Honestly he's been thinking about suicide way too often, and maybe bringing it up with Arai tomorrow could be a good idea. 

Thinking of Arai has him wondering how Mr. Aizawa plans on getting his mom to sign the paper of him being allowed to take medication without even knowing where she lives now.

He can't really find it in himself to hate his mom at the moment. He does get mad sometimes, but now, he just really hates himself and hates how he let this happen. He let himself be separated from his mom. 

Gave her a reason to leave. 

Right now, Kaminari really just hates himself more than anything. 

Just disappearing would be so good for everyone right now.

There are so many reasons for him to just do it, and not enough reasons to really stay. He's not that great. Sure, some people would miss him, but damn, the benefits of him dying would outweigh the bit of bad by a long shot. 

All these thoughts have his neck feeling itchy and his eyes burning. 

It's not like he's going to cry right now, but he feels like he needs to blink, or have his eyes closed for longer. It's like an urge, and his eyes strain if he doesn't just squeeze his eyes shut. 

Honestly, it's annoying, and he feels like it just brings unwanted attention to himself.

After a while, he looks up to see if Bakugo to see if he'd say anything or notice his weird blinking thing, but Bakugo pretends not to have been looking.

Kaminari looks down quickly, holds back the biggest sigh he's felt, and just wishes to- well to die really.

Speaking of poor mental health, he has his appointment tomorrow, and has to call Aizawa since he doesn't know how he's getting there.

"I have an appointment tomorrow morning. I think Mr. Aizawa is going to pick me up, but I don't know. Can I- um, can I borrow your phone to call him? If he is, you can come with us. It'll be boring, but it's up to you," he says.

Bakugo just nods, handing him his phone. "Eh, why the fuck not? It'll be cool," he nods, and gives Kaminari a small smile, which, honestly? Makes Kaminari really happy. The usually angry blond is like the older brother that Kaminari always wanted, except he's even better because he's not actually related to him.

And Kaminari's family really sucks ass, so that's why it's good that they're not actually related.

He feels weird getting up and leaving with Bakugo's phone, so he stays sitting across from him as Bakugo pretends to be focusing on the TV.

Kaminari is only gonna ask about the appointment tomorrow, so it'll be fast.

Once Aizawa picks up, Kaminari brings the phone to his ear.

"Bakugo is everything okay? Is Kaminari okay?" He sounds cautious.

"Hi, sir. Everything's fine."

"Oh, Kaminari," the man says, sounding relieved and somewhat embarrassed at the same time. It almost makes Kaminari smile.

"I apologize, but I was calling to see if you were taking me to my appointment tomorrow?"

Before Aizawa can even answer, Kaminari mentally smacks his face. What if he didn't want to cause he was busy with trying to get his mom to sign the paper? So, he quickly adds, "But I can take the train, too. It's no problem."

Bakugo visibly frowns and Kaminari looks down at the table, feeling really anxious and nervous. The feeling increases over time.

"Yes, Kaminari, I'll be taking you tomorrow. We discussed this before, too. Remember?"

"Well, yeah, but with the whole paper thing, I just thought maybe you were busy tomorrow."

As he fidgets with his fingers, Bakugo stands, noise of the chair startling both of them, but Kaminari gasps loudly, and looks up at Bakugo with wide eyes.

Having to look up from a sitting position at someone while feeling scared is way too familiar, but it passes quickly, and even though he's embarrassed at the gasp, he brushes it off and clears his throat.

Bakugo looked guilty and shocked at Kaminari's reaction.

"I'll talk to you about the paper thing tomorrow. What was that noise, though?"

Kaminari tries to play it off, but the amount of fear that passed through Kaminari felt like too much to get over so quickly, but he laughs anyway.

"Bakugo, the jerk," he says louder for Bakugo to hear, "scared me accidentally, is all. Speaking of him, mind if he tags along? Being at the dorms alone sucks."

"That's alright, kid. See you both tomorrow."

"Bye, sir."

With that, the phone call ends, and Kaminari gets up, turning off Bakugo's phone and wiping off the screen just in case he got it all smudgy.

He joins Bakugo by the sink, and puts the phone on the counter near Bakugo where he can see.

"Thanks."

"I'm not a fucking jerk, asshole," Bakugo huffs.

Kaminari smiles at that, and nods his head. "Are too."

Bakugo grumbles.

"Oh, Aizawa said you can come with us," he tells Bakugo.

~~~~~

Bakugo had so many questions, and Kaminari could feel him practically begging for answers.

He would never ask, and it's obvious that he's trying to pretend he isn't curious, but it's also way more obvious that he cares about what's upsetting Kaminari so much.

Wanting to know why his friend is acting so sad is making him wonder who he has to personally explode because he knows that it's someone who has him this upset. Yes, there aren't always reasons for being so depressed, but Bakugo heard Kaminari talk about a paper.

Getting it signed by his parents should be easy, but from what Bakugo knows, getting to them might not be as easy, so what happened?

Is it his bitch ass parents?

Is it Aizawa?

He doesn't know.

Either way, when he gets into the back seat of Aizawa's car, he feels awkward.

Normally, he wouldn't mind just sitting and not talking, but the air was tense.

It was like waiting for something to snap or break.

Aizawa had music playing, which, thank fuck because the tension in the vehicle was so thick.

Also, since when the fuck did Kaminari have a cat? He didn't see it once when he went into his room to clean the scratches. Or when he woke him up recently. Kaminari also hadn't mentioned it at all.

Where did it even come from, and how was it that Aizawa let him have the damn thing.

Not that Bakugo hates cats.

Far from it actually, but how could Kaminari not tell him?

The betrayal he feels.

He could have been cuddling a cat these past few days.

"What the fuck?" Bakugo asks.

Kaminari turns to look at him after answering Aizawa's question about his cat, who's apparently named Smushy.

"What?" He asks before quickly realizing that he hadn't told Bakugo about the cat, "Oh shit. I totally forgot to show her to you. She honestly hides all the time. Even I forget she's there."

Bakugo scoffs, and lets it slide.

Aizawa asks a few other questions, but not too many, and Bakugo knows it's because he's in the car, and Aizawa doesn't want to embarrass Kaminari in front of him or anything.

Once they're in a building a while later, Bakugo is next to Aizawa when he hands Kaminari a paper, and Kaminari's eyes gloss over as he looks at it.

He looks like he's going to cry.

"I got her to sign it. They still live close by. Do you want to talk about this now or after your appointment?" Aizawa asks.

Bakugo looks at Kaminari who still hasn't looked up from the paper.

"I, uh-" he clears his throat, "after is better. I really need to talk to Arai."

Kaminari doesn't look up as he speaks and as soon as he's done talking, he turns around and walks away to a room that Bakugo presumes is his therapist's.

Bakugo then looks up at Aizawa and shoots him a questioning look.

"What the fuck was all that?" He asks, wanting answers, but feeling like an asshole for wanting them.

Aizawa sighs. "Kaminari's parents moved without telling anyone, and Kaminari only found out when we went by his old house to get that paper signed. I had to look for them."

Bakugo feels like murdering Kaminari's parents.

"Why the fuck? Who do they fucking think they are thinking that they can treat their kid like shit? And his fucking bitch ass dad? How could anyone even-" Bakugo stops himself, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes to calm down.

The rage that's flowing through him isn't going to help anyone, especially not Kaminari.

"I know you're upset, but, please, all Kaminari needs right now is for you to be there. He's probably beating himself up over and over because of his parents. It was bad before, but them actually leaving without telling him really got to him. Just be there," Aizawa says.

Bakugo nods, looking in the direction Kaminari went.

They both decide to sit down and talk, making sure they sit in a spot that Kaminari will quickly be able to check and see that they're there.

"He freaked the fuck out of me these last few days. He was like a zombie. He wouldn't, or, maybe fucking couldn't talk much. Also, his fucking neck was bad. I offered to help him clean the wounds. He fucking scratched himself," Bakugo sighs, shaking his head and running his hand through his hair, looking around the shitty ass waiting area.

It smelled like a hospital. Well, kind of.

"I can't be at the dorms all the time, so I'm telling you this because you need to know how to help him. I also know you're not an asshole who'd gossip about this or tell anyone at all," Aizawa starts.

"Kaminari has been really struggling with his mental health, and I don't really know how to be there for him. With you, it was just like, oh just be by his side and respectful, and you would open up to me. I know that it's only because you respected and trusted me. It's a little similar with Kaminari, but he doesn't open up as much. Doesn't confide in me. He secludes himself from people he really trusts. Since you know what happened to him, I think you can see why that is."

Aizawa takes a long breath and Bakugo takes everything in. Then after a few seconds, Aizawa continues.

"His dad is someone he should've been safe and comfortable with, but he took advantage of that, and abused Kaminari in his most vulnerable state. That really fucks people up, so trusting and opening up might not be something he feels like he can do. I feel that he thinks, 'my dad did this to me, so why wouldn't other people?' Which is not the way he should feel. It's shitty, but I feel that it's accurate. I see the fear flash through his eyes sometimes if he's having a particularly rough day and I get too close."

Bakugo frowns deeply and nods. It sounds familiar.

"Last night," Bakugo starts, "Kaminari looked actually scared of me. I just stood up from my chair, but he looked fucking terrified, and the look on his face was awful. I never want to see him look like that again. He doesn't fucking deserve it. Why are people so damn fucked up? Why is Kaminari's dad so fucked up? To think about doing that to a fucking kid?"

Bakugo is fuming.

He's mad at Kaminari's dad.

What kind of fucking freak wants to fuck a god damn toddler?

"I'll be there for him, sir. Shinso's the one who's been able to really reach him, but if he won't talk to me, then I'll find another way to make sure he's safe. Damn freaks will never touch him," Bakugo grumbles, resting his chin on his hand which is resting on the armrest.

He glares out the window, cursing anyone and everyone who does fucked up shit.

"You're a good friend, Bakugo," Aizawa tells him.

Bakugo grumbles some more, and they both fall silent as they wait for Kaminari to be done with his appointment.

~~~~~

Kaminari comes out with a red nose and a lady following after him, face unreadable.

The lady, who Bakugo presumes is Aburaya.

"Hello Arai," Aizawa greets and Bakugo mentally face palms.

Okay, not Aburaya. Her names Arai.

Close enough.

Kaminari stands near Aizawa, almost behind him.

"Hi, Aizawa," she replies and hands him multiple papers, "Since you got permission, I already called a pharmacy near UA that will have the medications ready for him soon. They said to pick them up in three hours. I already spoke to him about the doses and each medicine's purpose," she goes on explaining.

It really really hits Bakugo then.

His friend is really struggling.

Bakugo turns to Kaminari, and said blond looks up with glossy eyes, making eye contact and shrugging.

Bakugo, unsure of how to deal with all the emotion going on, flips Kaminari off, who bursts out laughing at the unexpected gesture.

Aizawa and Arai stop speaking momentarily to look at the laughing blond, both adults smiling fondly before going back to their conversation.

Bakugo picks up on words like suicide and self harm, and it feels like getting stabbed in the chest.

Dissociation and insomnia pop up, too.

Something about Anxiety and depression, but Bakugo tries to stop paying attention and starts talking to Kaminari.

"You asshole. Not telling me you have a cat."

Kaminari smiles and shrugs, seeming a bit lighter than when they came in.

He really needed this appointment.

"Okay, so final thing, I'm setting up some extra sessions for the next month. He's definitely benefitting from coming and talking to me. No need to worry about paying or anything. Even though his insurance only covers a little bit, UA has approved paying for the rest. I'll see you soon, Kaminari," Arai finishes, and then waves as the three of them make their way to leave.

Aizawa sighs in relief once they get in the car and looks at Kaminari.

"Great job, kid. I'm really proud of you," he says, and Kaminari really looks like he's fighting for his life to not cry.

"Oh, Bakugo can you step out of the car for a bit?" Aizawa asks and Kaminari shakes his head quickly.

"No-no, it's okay if he stays. I need to talk to him anyway. Arai says I should confide in close friends and I'm gonna end up telling him a whole bunch later," Kaminari admits.

Bakugo pulls his hand away from the handle, and rests his hands on his knees.

Aizawa nods, and clears his throat. "Okay, well, they live closer to UA than before, and I don't know how you feel about that," Aizawa sighs, "I had to wait for your mom at her workplace to catch her. She gave me the address, but-" he pauses, looking sad, "she said she wasn't planning on seeing you anytime soon."

Kaminari nods, seeming speechless as he bites the inside of his cheek.

"Okay," he whispers brokenly, looking away.

"Is that all?" He asks, and turns his body slightly to be facing the door and faces outside.

Bakugo feels like he's intruding.

"For bad news, yes. Now let's go out to eat, I'm hungry," the man says, and starts the car.

The sudden noise makes Bakugo realize how uncomfortablely quiet the car was before.

"We have three hours before your meds are ready, future druggie, so it's up to you what you wanna do after we eat. Bowling, in my opinion, would be the best. It's definitely not because I'll beat both of you at bowling, but I'm up for anything," Aizawa says, and Bakugo almost smiles at how dad-like he's being.

"Money isn't an issue. I work at UA and I'm a hero so I have lots to spare. Have fun today, kid. Both of you."

Since fucking when did Aizawa turn into a dad?

***
Word Count: 2,850
Y'all I did literally nothing all spring break. I started and finished Euphoria in two days, started and finished Kotaro lives alone, started and caught up to Sasaki to Miyano, started and finished No. 7, and I'm now watching black clover. I start school again tomorrow but I pretty much only have two months of hs left before I graduate FINALLY. Holy shit I'm almost done 😭😭 anyway I hope y'all liked this chapter. I will post the next chapter next Sunday at 8pm central time. I love you all and tysm for reading<3