Kaminari's been doing not very well.

He's come so close to relapsing on three different occasions just this week. It's Tuesday.

He's pulled at his hair enough to hurt in order to stop himself from putting a lighter to his skin. It's just the flashbacks and memories that keep popping up.

Sure, they never stopped, but for some reason it was extra bad recently.

He curled in on himself, taking the day off from school today.

When he had gotten up, he was mostly fine, having taken his first pill of the day.

Then when he was putting on his belt, the familiar sound of metal hitting metal triggered him into a panic attack that he couldn't get out of until Shinso knocked on the restroom door.

Kaminari had opened the door immediately after getting back on his feet, panting and gasping for air, shirt unbuttoned and open.

The belt was still clanking and making that awful noise when he hugged Shinso to try to ground himself, so he took the belt off, throwing it on the floor before going back to hug his confused boyfriend.

"I can't do it today. I just can't," he tried to say between gasps of air.

"Kami. Kami, hey," Shinso said, pulling away and putting his hands on the sides of Kaminari's face to make the blond look at him.

"Look at me. Come on, I know you can do it. Just look at me and- yes that's good. Breathe," Shinso coaches, trying to get Kaminari out if his panic attack.

Kaminari hadn't been crying, but as he calmed down, tears started falling.

"I can't go to class. I can't," Kaminari begs.

"That's okay. That's totally okay. You don't have to," Shinso says, pulling him in for a hug, combing his fingers through Kaminari's hair to soothe him.

Kaminari grips the front of his shirt tightly, nodding.

He can't really say much else, he thinks. He's so overwhelmed and nothing has even happened yet. Just some stupid clinking and he's having a panic attack.

How nice.

It's not like he hadn't heard the clinking of his belt before. He just doesn't know why today it set him off.

They stood there, Shinso comforting Kaminari until he was calm enough. Then when Shinso pulled away and walked to Kaminari's dresser, the blond turned to see what he was doing.

Shinso took out some sweats and then went over to his closet to take out a hoodie.

Then he walked over to the blond and handed them to him, "Go change into these. I'll be waiting out here."

Kaminari did what he had instructed, going into his restroom and changing into the comfortable clothing.

The belt that triggered him into a panic attack was lying a foot away as he changed and he just stared at it as if it was going to attack him or something.

He exited with his uniform bunched up into his hand and still not willing to talk.

Kaminari walked over to him and led him to sit on the bed. "Stay here."

The teen then walked into Kaminari's bathroom and emerged a minute later with the purple Band-Aids.

Sitting with the blond on the bed, he started taking the Band-Aids out and placing them all over his boyfriend, saying the compliments out loud.

"Powerful."

"Handsome."

"You're enough."

"Incredible."

And it went on. It went on, and Shinso would press a kiss where he placed each Band-Aid.

Kaminari was just attacked with positivity and he kind of can't process it. It's so much.

Shinso brings so much good into his horrible life and it makes him look down at the floor because he's probably stressing Shinso out right now. That's not what a good partner does. Shinso wants to care for him right now, so Kaminari won't fight it.

When Shinso is done, he can take over and take care of himself.

As Shinso stops putting Band-Aids on his boyfriend, Kaminari looks up to look him in the eye.

"Hey there," Shinso smiles.

It's so warm and caring that it has Kaminari smiling, too.

"I did not miss those," Kaminari says, breathing out a laugh. He's referring to the panic attack.

He feels a little shaky, but it's manageable.

"I'm glad you're talking," Shinso says, squeezing his hands.

And he does look glad he's talking.

Kaminari feels drained from the panic attack, but it's not like before. Before he was left to spiral and it would end badly. Now he was just shaky and slightly tired.

That means his medication is working and he is healing. It's slow, but it's there.

So he smiles.

Even though he did just have a panic attack. He feels himself healing.

"I really am getting better," Kaminari says, tears gathering in his eyes at the idea.

He's happy.

Shinso smiles and nods before grabbing his cheeks and pressing a fast kiss to his lips before pulling back and wiping away the falling tears with his thumbs.

"Yes you are. I'm so proud of you," he smiles.

Kaminari hugs him.

"Thank you. Thank you so much," Kaminari whispers.

Shinso squeezes him. He seems to be doing that a lot lately.

When they pull back, Kaminari is more calm. He still doesn't feel okay enough to get to class, but it's more manageable.

"You should talk to Arai before heading to class. Mr. Aizawa will understand," Kaminari tells Shinso.

"My panic attack stressed us both out. I'm sorry if I scared you, though," he apologizes.

Shinso doesn't look mad or upset, and it's not like Kaminari was expecting him to be, but he wouldn't blame him for it. It was stressful. Shinso is so patient, though. And that's good for Kaminari because he was always surrounded by people who expected the best always and no failures.

Shinso is like when you take your blankets out of the dryer and they smell so good and make you all warm.

That's Shinso.

That's his boyfriend.

"I will talk to her. This isn't your fault, though. Don't blame yourself, okay? We're in this together. You're still healing," Shinso says, almost sternly to make Kaminari believe it.

So now here Kaminari was, curled in on himself in his bed in his comfortable sweats.

He felt kind of refreshed.

He felt like that panic attack was something that was just waiting to happen and now that it did, it was over.

Yeah he was still anxious as fuck even after taking his pills, but it was more tame.

More okay.

He was just waiting for his friends to get out of school.

Shinso had texted him that his session with Arai was good.

And Aizawa had let him know he was excused from classes today. Of course, the man also made sure Kaminari was okay.

He would assign someone to spar with him tomorrow, and then after school if Kaminari was up for it, he and Aizawa would be sparring to make up for the lost time.

The lessons from today would be something that could be given again on a tutorial day after school, which means tomorrow.

Missing because of his mental health wouldn't end up with a punishment just like Aizawa had discussed before.

~~~~~

At the end of the school day, a three hour nap from Kaminari, and knock on his door, the blond got up from bed and opened the door.

He hadn't gotten up all day.

Not even to use the restroom.

He's been holding it in all day.

The knock wasn't Shinso's, so when he opens the door he doesn't expect Shinso. It's Aizawa.

"Oh, hi sir," he greets and then realizes the Band-Aids when Mr. Aizawa looks over his face.

He turns red and starts taking them off while looking down and talking. "So what did you come by for?"

The man seems to find his voice. "Came to check on you, kid. You need me to do anything?"

Kaminari clears his throat and finally takes off the last Band-Aid that was on his face. There are some on his neck and hands, but he just hopes the ones on his neck aren't that noticeable. The ones on his hands aren't.

"I- uhh- no. No, thank you. I just was having a hard time and I guess this morning I snapped. I didn't hurt myself," he says, whispering the last part.

Mr. Aizawa nods and he continues.

"I just freaked out and Shinso helped. He met with Arai before going to class. I just needed the day," the blond says, looking around sheepishly.

"It's good that you're allowing yourself to get help. You're doing great, kid. Text or call if you need to miss tomorrow, too. We're here to help you become a hero and if we can't even help you get help, then we shouldn't be called heroes."

Kaminari smiles a bit, looking up to meet his eyes. "Thank you, sir. You know, not just for today, but for everything you've done. It's helping," he decided to say.

He really didn't mean to get all sentimental.

Even though a lot of the times he's not good with words, he sometimes manages to express what he wants.

"Kid, you can always count on me to help you."

And with that, Mr. Aizawa leaves.

Kaminari closes his door with a warm feeling.

Not long after when Kaminari is petting Smushy on his bed with one hand and scrolling through social media with the other, there's knocking on his door and it's aggressive and loud.

Bakugo.

"Come in," Kaminari calls.

Bakugo opens the door like a mad man, and when his eyes fall on Kaminari on his bed with Smushy, Bakugo heads for him and closes the door behind him.

"I took notes for your shitty ass. I know you'll have to go through the lecture on your own and you can take your own notes, but my notes are better. That way you can just follow along instead of rushing to take notes like a dumbass," Bakugo says, giving Kaminari a couple of papers.

"Oh. Thanks, dude," Kaminari says, smiling at the other teen.

"So taking the day off paid off for you?"

Kaminari nods.

"Helped more than I thought it would," he admits.

Bakugo just nods as if he knows what he means. He's glad because it's easier like this. Not having to explain himself.

"Good. Keep fucking taking care of yourself. Damn Spark Plug." Then Bakugo leaves without another word, slamming the door behind him.

He doesn't know if Bakugo just didn't notice the rest of the Band-Aids on his neck and hands or pretended he didn't see them. He probably pretended be couldn't, knowing Bakugo.

Once he decides that looking for Shinso and his friends rather than wait for them to come to him is better, he takes off the rest of the Band-Aids, grabs Smushy, and takes her downstairs to the common area where she's free to roam and get pets from everyone.

When he gets down to the common area, he spots Shinso in the kitchen with Sero and let's Smushy free.

His boyfriend was moving around in the kitchen, asking Sero a few questions that Kaminari couldn't hear. Sero would either answer or point, but after a while of watching them from a distance, he goes up to them to see what they're doing.

"Hi," he greets them both.

Both of their heads shoot in his direction at the sound of his voice with surprised faces.

They also both smile instantly when seeing him on the other side of the island.

"You're up," Shinso smiles, excited.

"Good thing you came down now. The foods almost done. Lover boy over here wanted to cook you something special," Sero says, poking fun at Shinso.

Said teen turns in embarrassment at being caught.

"Yeah, well, you didn't feel good, so I was gonna take something up to you."

Kaminari laughs.

"I think I just needed a day off. What happened in the morning was building up, so when it finally happened, I felt better. I needed the day to unwind," Kaminari says, proud that he was able to understand that he wasn't doing this to take advantage of the help he has.

"That's good," Shinso smiles. And it's so full of pride and happiness for his boyfriend that it has Kaminari feeling a lot.

This happens way too much.

"Ugh," then a fake retching sound comes from Sero.

"Get your gross romantic shit out and get a room already," Sero says, rolling his eyes at the display of Kaminari and Shinso's relationship.

They both lean away from each other from where they were over the counter and Shinso looks over at him with a shy smile before continuing, following Sero's orders once more.

It's not long after that Kaminari is seated across from Shinso with his plate full.

It looks and smells amazing. It has Kaminari's mouth watering. He looks up at Shinso who smiles.

Then, after thanking both Sero and Shinso for the food, Kaminari digs in, Shinso following suit. Sero had decided to eat after they left so that he didn't throw up on his food because of how disgustingly cute they were.

Sero's words.

"I really am glad today happened. Sure, the panic attack and anxiety sucked, but I kind of needed it to happen. Now I feel refreshed," Kaminari says.

Shinso, with a full mouth, smiles at the blond, making said blond grimace.

Shinso laughs at the reaction, clearly expecting and wanting it from his boyfriend. Kaminari does it to him all the time, so he figured now was time for payback.

"I love you," Shinso whispers with his mouth still full before going back to chewing.

Kaminari goes red and looks down. "I love you, too."

And they both mean it.

***
Word Count: 2,306
Yall just a quick fyi ik that being nervous and having anxiety is different, but in this case, since it's focused on Kaminari, when I say or exchange the words anxiety and being nervous, it's because I'm making Kaminari downplay his anxiety and struggle to accept that he has it. You'll see in the more recent chapters, he starts using the word anxiety more than nervous. That's because he's starting to realize that he's not exaggerating and he actually does have anxiety. Idk if y'all caught that or even cared LMAO but yea. He uses the word anxiety very sparingly and once he starts opening up to the idea that he can use that word, he uses it more confidently. okay that wasn't quick LMAO ANYWAY i hope pride month has been good to you guys. Ohh also someone commented #kiribaku on chapter one of this fic. They're gonna be so disappointed 😭😭😭😭 I also really hope yall liked this chapter. The final chapter will go up next sunday at 8pm central time>:) I've decided to post the last chapter and the epilogue on the same day because i'm just that cool. I love you all and tysm for reading<3