Art Not Mine. Belongs to the Oh so amazing, freesmooches, on tumblr.

Oh. My. God. I'm literally crying while I uploaded this. Sorry it took so long guys. Hope it was worth it. A/N at the end like always.

Chapter One. Alexander's POV. Two Years Before College. T/W Rape.

"C'mon Alex! I gotta tell you something! And it's urgent!" John whined pulling me by my wrist after him while we walked through the front door of his house.

John had invited me over to his house after school to talk about something rather "important" in his opinion. He wouldn't tell me what it was until we were alone in private. As long as I find out it's something worth John being annoying all day, I don't mind. I rather enjoy John's company. He's my best friend. Like a brother to me.

He was the first person I told about me being transgender and my past back in Nevis and with my cousin Peter.

"My dad isn't back till later, so we can talk without worry." John said rubbing his neck. I nodded with a slight frown at the mention of John's father. Henry Laurens.

I knew he was abusive. It's not hard to tell. I was abused by many foster families before I was adopted by the Washington's. So I know what the signs are. And John has also opened up to me about it.

"Let's go up to my room for some more privacy..." John said beginning to hurriedly walk up the stairs. I nodded and pulled off my shoes. Leaving them at the door as I followed after him with a slight smile.

What is so important that he's fussing over?

We walked into his room. Green walls, littered with turtle pictures and biology posters of turtles. Along with drawings and paintings from John. Most of scenery from outside and nature. The rest of turtles. Damn he loves turtles...

He sat down on his bed and patted the spot next to him with a big goofy smile on his face. I sat on the bed next to him and looked at him. Giving him a 'What the fuck is up with you?' look. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

When he opened his eyes he smiled at me and took both of my hands in his. I felt my heart rate begin to speed up slightly but focussed on John's beautiful blue eyes with little green specks in them.

"Alexander..." He started. Voice like honey with a certain southern

"I know we've only known each other for two and a half years and that we've both been through a lot and I know that this is a long shot but, but...aw fuck it!" He sighed and leaned in close to me. Connecting our lips.

And, I feel bad for thinking this, but. I don't like John like this. So I did nothing. I didn't lean in. Nor did I react. Not because of happiness or joy. But because, my best friend just kissed me!

My eyes widened in shock and I pulled back from John first. My mouth a gape. He looked at me weirdly. Sadness and confusion on his face.

"W-what's wrong? Don't you like me back?" He said getting a little angry at me. I shook my head and put my hands over my mouth.

"W-wha? What do you mean no?" He said standing up.

"J-John I-I just don't l-like you like th-that. I s-see you m-more as a br-brother. N-not b-boyfriend. B-besides, I l-like s-someone else a-anyways...I'm-I'm s-so so-sorry!" I mumbled looking away from him. He had a hurt expression on his face. He started pacing the floor and cursing under his breath.

"John-"

"Who?!" He yelled. Interrupting me. Now. I felt anger bubble up inside of me. I stood and tried to match his height.

"I...it's n-none of y-your b-business J-John! So dr-drop it. L-listen, I'm s-sorry. B-but I d-don't f-feel the s-same w-way." I snapped back at him.

"No tell me! If you don't like me, then I think I deserve an answer!" He said through gritted teeth. I rolled my eyes at him and huffed in frustration.

"Jefferson..." I said. My voice barely above a whisper.

"...What?" He asked in shock. His face seemed to contort into a look of sadness and anger.

"I s-said J-Jefferson!" I said a little louder this time. I looked at the floor feeling slightly intimidated by John. By his tone and his height. And also slightly ashamed of my answer.

"You can't be serious. The guy that beats you up every day? You like him? He hates you! Everyone knows he does! God, how can you be so stupid!" He yelled. I looked up at him hurt.

I get that he likes me and that this must be hard for him. I just can't believe that he's getting so angry at this. And throwing insults at me like this. He's my best friend.

"You k-know what? I'm l-leaving!" I said walking past him and to the door.

"No you don't!" He said. I didn't look back though. I opened up his door, but was soon slammed into it. I looked up at John who was towering over me.

"J-John...let m-me l-leave..." I said trying to push him away from me. He only smirked and grabbed my face. Pulling me even closer to him. I struggled in his grip, but before I could say anything...he pressed his lips onto mine. Just this time it was more forceful.

I started shoving him and trying to push on his chest to get him away from me. He grabbed both of my wrists and pinned them above my head. He started grinding on me as he slipped his tongue into my mouth.

I gagged and tried to turn my face from him, but he wouldn't let me go. He pulled back and attacked my neck with kisses and bites.

"J-John! G-get o-off m-me!" I screamed. He smiled and pulled back from my neck.

"Not happening baby girl~" He cooed. He let go of me and grabbed my shirt. Pulling it over my head. Leaving me in only my binder and jeans.

He knows I'm self-conscious about being called a girl. And about my body...

"JOHN!!!" I screamed. He only acted like he couldn't hear me. But that smirk on his face said otherwise.

He ripped off my binder exposing my bare chest to him as I cried for him to stop. I tried to cover myself up and shield myself from his cold, lust filled eyes.

He turned me around by shoulders and slammed my face into the wall. I whimpered and twisted around in John's grip.

He held one of my arms behind my back and started putting pressure on it. Making it bend painfully.

I screamed out and cried as he pressed against me more. Biting my shoulder as I screamed.

"J-John. Pl-please st-stop!" I cried. He only chuckled and shook his head.

"I was hoping that when we first had sex it would be a little more...consensual...but that doesn't matter to me at the moment." He growled into my ear. Using his other hand to begin to pull my leggings down.

"N-NO! PL-PLEASE JOHN! YOU C-CAN'T DO TH-THIS! P-P-PLEASE!!!" I sobbed, thrashing around. Trying to kick backwards to hit him in the crotch, but failing. He put a hand over my mouth as he pulled down my jeans and boxers in one tug.

I cried and tried to move around more, but it was useless. He pulled me over to the bed and straddled my hips. He leaned over me as he held me by my wrists to the side of my head. He sucked harshly at my throat.
"P-please J-John! Your m-my b-best fr-friend!" I cried and tried to push him off me. He pulled back and leaned over to his bedside drawer and took out a couple things. I couldn't exactly see, but a shine from metal caught my eye.

Handcuffs.

He grabbed one of my wrists and clamped one hand cuff ring around it. He then put the other one through the bed frame and locked it around my other wrist.

I tugged on the cuffs and fought as much as I could against the restraints.

"J-John...please!" I sobbed. He hummed and with two fingers, he tipped my chin up so I was looking at him. He had a small smile as he looked at me.

"Don't worry. I'll be gentle..." He said. I let out a long sob and tried to kick him. I wasn't able to as he sat on my legs.

"Now, now. Remember who's in charge here. And from now on." He said pulling my legs apart and sitting in between them.

"N-NO!!!" I screamed. He hissed and muttered a few swear words under his breath as he got out something else he pulled out from beside his bed.

One of those being a black ball with straps connected to it. He brought it to my mouth and before I could do anything, shoved it inside. I tried to move my head away from him, but he grabbed my face.

"Good girl..." He said strapping it around my head. I shook my head and struggled as much as I could underneath him. I tried to speak, but the gag muffled my cries.

"Just so you will be quiet dear." He said unbuckling his pants and pulling them down. Leaving him in only his boxers. I closed my eyes as he positioned himself between my legs.

"Oh God your gonna feel so nice wrapped tightly around me..." He groaned in my ear prodding at my entrance with a single finger.

I started to try and thrash around but he just pushed against me more. Pinning me between him and the bed.

He pulled back slightly and held up a lube bottle. He poured some onto his fingers and brought them back down to my entrance.

He shoved in one of his fingers and I cried out at the throb I felt of his finger inside me. He didn't waste time as he soon started to thrust the finger in and out of me. And not long after, he pushed in another finger. Curling them inside me and thrusting them into me faster.

I screamed through the gag and tried to move away from him. But he placed his other hand on my hip. Holding me in place. He scissored me open roughly a few times before removing both of his fingers with a pop.

Leaving me not well enough prepared. Barely stretched. And in lots of pain.

My eyes were shut as I cried as loud as I could. But as I felt something blunt press against my entrance, I opened my eyes.

John had positioned his member at my clit and pushed his tip in. He moaned as I screamed for him to stop. He continued his penetration of me as I cried and cried.

As the head of his cock was fully inside of me, he pulled back a little than shoved all of himself inside me fast. Too fast. In doing this, he made me scream in pain as I tried to kick away from him.

"Oh God Lexi..." He groaned, leaning his head on my shoulder as he began pulling out slightly.

I shut my eyes as he thrusted back into me. He kept doing this. Thrusting into me. Getting faster and faster. He didn't care that he was ripping me apart from the inside out. Only that he was getting closer to finishing.

And that's when I remembered something. Something really important.

He didn't put on a condom...

I began to scream even louder around the gag and try to kick him again. But it was no use. He held my legs as he thrusted into me rather harshly.

"Oh baby I'm so close..." He moaned. I choked on tears and sobbed as he thrusted into me faster and faster. I felt something dripping down my leg. I felt pain. I felt complete and utter pain.

He moaned and snapped his hips, once, twice, then three times and then a hot, sticky substance enter me.

I screamed and tried to kick him as much as I could. But soon let pain over take me and let my body go limp as he continued to thrust into me roughly. Riding out his high.

When he finally pulled out, he collapsed next to me on the bed. I didn't open my eyes just sobbed.

I felt him shift and begin to unlock the handcuffs from around my wrists.

"There you go baby..." He mumbled as he freed my wrists. I immediately curled up into a ball and sobbed into my knees. I pulled the the ball gag off and threw it to the other side of the room.

I let out the loudest, most blood curdling scream I could and sobbed uncontrollably.

"Fuck!" John hissed. He grabbed me by my hair and put his other hand over my mouth. Towering over me.

"Shut the fuck up slut! You now belong to me. Body, and mind. So get used to this kind of treatment from now on! Your mine. And no one else's. Got that?!" He snapped at me. I nodded my head weakly and whimpered in pain.

"And if you dare tell anyone about what happened now, or from this point on between us. No one will ever believe you. They'll just know that your a little slut who loved it. Because you did love it. You just don't know it yet. But one day you'll thank me for taking you as mine. I'll protect you from the real world. The real world that is cruel and unloving. And I'll show you what your body should be used for by a man. Okay?" He asked. His voice soft now.

I whimpered and nodded.

He's right. No one will ever believe me.

"Good girl. Now. Let's relax then get you cleaned up afterwards..." He said tugging me to his chest as he lied back down. I sniffled and tried to stop the tears from falling from my eyes.

I looked down at myself and saw that I had bites and soon to be bruises covering my neck and collarbone. I took a deep breath then looked to my legs.

They had blood and John's cum in between them. I cried softly and laid my head back down. Trying to get comfortable in John's cold grip as he held onto me so I couldn't leave.

Little did I know. This is the first of many nights like this...

A/N

Welp. I just died. My crush sorta almost gf not really though because she's been standoffish lately just texted me, thanks gn. After I tried all day to make conversation with her about my depression. I don't blame her though, we haven't even hung out yet. I also just kinda lost two of my friends at once? And ruined shit for my last friend. So I kinda wanna kill myself over here.

Sigh. 

So how was that first chapter? Good? Bad? Scary? Cause it's just gonna get even worse! Hahaha. Tell me what you think in the comments! Please, I'm desperate for someone to talk to. Anyone.

Okay, love you guys! See ya next update on the Knight In Shining Armor story. Update will be up tomorrow for the, Which is better? Thingy...

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee