At first, the taller couldn't get a word out. He was too shocked. Both at why did Mingi run after him and the surprise. He was just blatantly staring at his ex. His love. The one that still had a place in his heart...But the one who made him hurt even though Yunho knew all of this had been his fault.

He cleared his throat that gathered tears threatened to suffocate and spoke, rather quietly.

,,What...What are you doing here?" Yunho asked, actually kind of scared.

Mingi was staring into his big beautiful eyes and saw the sadness in them. A wave of sorrow flushed over him as he remembered he was the reason of it. He sighed deeply. ,,I wanted to talk to you. To ask for explanations. Now I know I should've done this earlier but I was too confused and heartbroken to realize." He looked down. ,,I'm so horribly sorry."

Yunho just eyed him, exactly understanding how he felt and that made him even sadder. He didn't want Mingi to be sad. He couldn't let it happen. He had promised to keep him happy and now he had broken the promise. Were promises really meant to be broken?

,,It's o-okay." He said but his voice broke slightly, betraying him and making Mingi's head shoot up.

,,N-No p-please don't cry, Yunho. I-I can l-leave if you want." Mingi rambled, a sudden wave of shock crashing over him. He remembered the last time Yunho had cried way too well and seeing it happening again broke his heart, bringing back the memories he didn't like and wished to forget.

Seconds moved in slow motion when Mingi saw Yunho's figure coming towards himself and before he had the time to understand what was going on, a pair of hands wrapped around him and a head supported on his shoulder, wetting it. But he didn't care; Yunho was hugging him and that was what mattered the most in the present moment.

And he didn't have to do anything else than respond with the same.

They stood like that for a few long minutes, realizing how much they had missed each other, the time alone while being in each other's embraces and warm touch. Their hearts beat against one another and in that one blissful moment, all worries were forgotten.

Then Yunho parted slowly but left his hands onto Mingi's shoulders. He smiled, really happy he got to feel the younger against his body again. ,,I forgive you, I understand. And I will gladly explain you." His smile widened.

,,What did I do to deserve you?" Mingi mumbled, admiring the taller in front of him; he felt so sorry and dumb for forgetting about his real feelings for him. Yunho heard it and blushed softly, making Mingi's heart race as always. He had really missed that feeling. He had missed everything so badly.

They started walking with a few inches between their hands as neither of them had the courage to intertwine those because it didn't seem right. It felt too rushed and clumsy. But they both were thinking about it.

Yunho told Mingi everything from meeting Hyungwon at the club to how he felt about it all and what he was actually thinking. The other just listened without interrupting, lips pressed to a thin line. Yunho's side of the story had many curves and cracks he had no idea about.

When Yunho finished, silence set itself between them and stayed there for a good while. He was nervous. A lot. He couldn't guess what was going on Mingi's mind, what was he thinking - was he even at all? Maybe his mind was empty as he couldn't understand what he had just been told. There were a million possibilities and thinking about all of them drove Jeong Yunho crazy. His palms started sweating but he ignored it.

Calm down, it's okay, he told himself.

Oh so that's how it really was...

Mingi was trying to rearrange his thoughts so they'd make sense but it sounded easier than it actually was. To process all of it took a good amount of time but fortunately Yunho stood patient. He had been trying to guess how the reality looked like and somehow had actually managed to get some parts of the story right, but the rest was a mess. Not because he made up some crazy things but more like because he couldn't actually figure something out and his mind just smoothly put together a picture which Mingi stuck to the entire time. Now he was feeling guilty. This little misunderstanding had probably hurt Yunho more than Mingi and the latter felt so sorry because of it. He had no idea how to make it up to him. Yunho wouldn't just get back together with him, no. He was a very kind soul but some things were too much for him too; he also had a line somewhere. It wasn't possible. Didn't seem possible.

But Mingi still decided to ask.

,,Ummm...Yunho?"

It slightly startled him. ,,Y-Yes?"

Mingi bit his lip in nervousness. ,,Thank you...for agreeing to tell me the truth despite what of a dick I was before. I seriously don't deserve you." He looked at the taller and saw a small smile make its way to his face.

,,It's okay, don't worry about it. Really. I wasn't a better boyfriend either with hiding those things from you and constantly lying to your face."

,,But we can fix it, right?" The younger asked, trying to sound casual and confident in which he failed right away. The seed of being scared that he'll never get to be with him again was still deep down inside him.

,,I'm pretty sure we can fix ourselves, yes, if that's what you mean." Yunho replied and Mingi felt a wave of relief splash over him. Did Yunho just actually agree to be boyfriends again or was he imagining it?

Because he didn't answer anything and was quiet, Yunho turned at him. ,,I hope you understand." He said with sad eyes. Mingi was about to ask what is there to understamd, frowning, until the real thought behind Yunho's words hit him. He turned pale.

,,M-Mingi..." The taller started, looking down and fiddling with his shirt, a sign that something hurtful and deep was about to be said.

,,I know I hurt you and I'm so so sorry for that...you have no idea how sorry I am...I apologize...But you hurt me too so much and please, listen..." He took a deep and shaky breath. ,,...I don't think I'm ready to get back together with you...I can't p-promise anything b-but I-I...I need some time to t-think about t-things..." Last words faded into the abyss of sadness. These words stung Mingi's heart hardly. He lowered his head. He understood. It was all he could do at the moment. Feeling sorry wouldn't bring them together even though he wanted to. He understood he wasn't the only one who had gotten his heart broken, Yunho suffered as much as him. Mingi knew he needed to give him space like Yunho had given him. He needed to prove he's a better person now and will treat Yunho like he deserves to be treated.

,,I'm sorry, Mingi." The named one heard a quiet sob and his eyes shot at Yunho who was crying, barely letting out any sounds. Without thinking, Mingi took steps forward and wrapped his hands around his loved one, hugging him while biting his bottom lip to hold back tears. He didn't want to cry.

Letting go was harder than he had thought it would be but he needed to go home and he needed it now. He needed time alone. He was going to text the guys he doesn't feel good and go home. Go to his parents and close up to his small room and cry at how stupid he'd been. If he'd just listen to Yunho before none of this would've happened. Why was he so dumb?

Mingi turned around without looking at Yunho because he didn't need to see his broken gaze to feel even more bad, stuck hands into pockets and walked away with a sigh.

He had been imagining the agreement of getting together after all. But maybe it was meant to stay as a dream after all...

-

,,Oh my, oh my, five more minutes! Please, Yeosang move faster!" Wooyoung ran to his friend and pulled him by his wrist, eyes sparkling and mouth wide with a smile, looking like a five-year-old. Yeosang frowned at him and pulled his hand away. ,,If I'm going to fall because of your rushing ass, you're the next rocket flying to the sky." He hissed, making everyone chuckle. But Wooyoung didn't care, he jumped right onto San's back who started running to get to the center of the city faster.

It was just a few last minutes until new year and the bunch of friends were heading towards the crowded central square where the biggest and coolest fireworks would be sent shooting to the sky. Hongjoong and Seonghwa were holding hands and walking together like an old married couple; Jongho wrapped his arm around his slightly irritated yet cute boyfriend; San was giving Wooyoung a piggyback ride, and Mingi was following them all in the end.

It was their first new year as 7. Without Yunho.

And Mingi missed him so much.

,,Three minutes left! Please come!" They heard Wooyoung's excited yell and sped up a bit to reach the bunch of people just when the last minute countdown began on the wall of the big skyscraper.

59...

Everyone's eyes were sparkling.

58, 57, 56, 55...

They were waiting.

54, 53, 52, 51, 50...

San put Wooyoung down.

49, 48, 47, 46, 45...

He had always been like a child excited about New Year.

44, 43, 42, 41, 40...

San planted a soft kiss on his forehead.

39, 38, 37, 36, 35...

Jongho looked at Yeosang.

34, 33...

He loved him so much.

32, 31, 30...

He leaned in for a kiss put Yeosang stopped him by putting his index finger on Jongho's lips.

29, 28, 27, 26...

,,Wait until zero." He taught and smiled warmly.

25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20...

Hongjoong put his head on Seonghwa's shoulder and hand on his bump.

19, 18, 17, 16...

He couldn't wait to become a dad already.

15, 14, 13, 12...

Seonghwa pulled him closer and they watched the countdown together.

11...

Beautiful.

10...

Excited cheers.

9...

New year.

8...

New beginning.

7...

New them.

6...

New dreams.

5...

New achievements.

4...

They're letting go of the past.

3, 2...

Why can't I?

1...

He looked away from the fireworks and his friends and quickly swallowed down tears as cheers around him got loud and happy couples kissed lovingly.

Why can't you be here?

Little did he know that Yunho was at the other side of the city, looking at the same big fireworks in the distance and thinking the exact same thoughts...

Oh look at how the turns have tabled...🧐

1THE9 are so underrated and it's sad. I don't know how to explain it but 'Blah' makes me feel in some kinda way...I don't want them to disband, I really don't 😭...Whose idea this even was?? Please, look at them, so much talent and a killing comeback "Bad Guy", why do they have to disband??!

Treasure finally debuted, yay! YG better not fuck up that amount of talent. I still don't know who is my bias but right now it's either Yoshi or Mashiho :P. Also Yedam's vocals are no joke, I haven't seen such powerful one in a while.

Also, do you hear me crying quietly as I just realized there are only 3-4 chapters left before this journey ends...I want to finish this book before September so get ready. I am not. I don't want this to end. Not a bit...