The whole crew is crammed into Max and Amalia's apartment. Mom, dad, Lucas, Mills, Elias, Kiara, Bernie.

Flynn.

He walked in when I was in the middle of a conversation with Bernie, discussing the decisions I'd made in the last month. In truth, I was a grateful to have a reason to stall.

When Flynn and I finally talk, I'm going to have to tell him I've moved on. I'm not in a rush to have that conversation.

Still, I can tell he wants to talk as he watches me from the table of finger foods Amalia and Kiara arranged.

Max has Flynn's attention at the moment but I can't put it off forever.

"You're not mad then?" I ask Bernie who's sitting next to me on the sofa with a pair of mini cat eye sunglasses on and a cola flavoured lollipop in her mouth.

I've been gone for a month but she's grown up so much. Her hair is in pigtails and her neon orange crop top compliments her skin tone.

"I'm not mad," she says. "I'll miss you though. It was fun living our own little project runway. But I get it. You have to be wherever makes you happiest."

Her lips smack as she pulls the lollipop out of her mouth and gives me a big dramatic smile.

"I'm totally not dying inside," she says. "See? Happy face. You'll come back for my fourteenth birthday though, right? Nattie and I are going to try edibles for the first time."

Stupefied, I stare at her and peer at Kiara on the other end of the sofa. She's engrossed in conversation with mom and Elias and doesn't hear the adolescent rebellion unfolding right next to her.

"I'm kidding," Bernie slips a finger under her shades and rubs the corner of her eye. "It won't be the first time."

"Dude," I grumble with amusement.

"I'm totally kidding but I am curious. Like, would being high enhance my creative abilities? It would be so interesting to see what I could come up with under that influence? Feel me? I'll wait until I'm a bit older so I don't have to hide it from papa, because come on, that man can not be opposed to weed. He's an artist. Oh, have you been keeping up with the page? Harley's Instagram post blew up. The people love his story."

There's so much to digest in her long winded spiel that I decide to let most of it go and focus on the information that seems like safe conversation.

"Yeah, I saw. The comments were so sweet."

Harley and I had been texting on and off since I left. We hadn't had the chance to grow closer or get to know each other more before I left but it was nice keeping in touch with him. I wanted to remain friends and watch him get everything he's ever wanted in life. He deserves that.

"Na fuck off old man, there's no chance."

Lucas.

He and dad are standing at the breakfast bar and it's like looking at two of the same person. Max and Lucas might be twins but there's something about Lucas and dad that screams clone. It's their attitudes and their tone. Both of them are wearing caps, t-shirts and slacks while they stand with their tattooed arms folded.

It makes me laugh and Bernie raises a brow, peering at me over the rim over this slim sunglasses.

"Just Lucas and dad," I explain, nodding my head in their direction. "Something's about to go down. They're sizing each other up."

"I've got like," dad looks thoughtful for a moment. "Twenty something fucking years on you, dude. I will win."

"Bet," Lucas challenges and mom pinches the bridge of her nose.

"What's this about?" Milly asks, her and Amalia stand together next to the record player, watching the scene unfolding.

Everyone else has returned to their conversation, including my exhausted mom whose opted to pretend her husband and son aren't about to make a scene.

"Oldie over here reckons he can drink me under the table," Lucas jabs a thumb at dad. "You weren't even a big drinker in your prime. You're delusional."

"Let's do it," dad shifts on his feet. "First one to down fifteen shots wins."

"Absolutely fucking not," mom pipes up, not bothering to look in their direction. "Fifteen shots? I'm not dealing with that mess."

"Fine," dad relents before Lucas can argue because he's got a bit more sense than to start a dispute with mom in the middle of a family gathering. "Later. Tonight. When the gathering has died down, you're on."

Mills raises her hand. "I would like to be the bartender slash referee."

Lucas points at her. "I'm taking my shots out of your cleavage."

Dad smacks him around the back of the head, giving him a scolding glare. It doesn't last long though. Slowly, he looks at mom, raising a brow in question.

She screws up her face. "No, Drayton."

Elias, who has been sitting in a dining chair next to the sofa and quietly assessing the room, says in a quiet voice. "You have a very interesting family."

With her lollipop bulging in her cheek, Bernie sighs. "Boys are so stupid."

Flynn must decide that he's had enough of waiting because he excuses himself from his conversation with Max, and wonders over to the couch.

I stand up, smoothing down my floor length skirt, tugging on a thread on my knitted sweater, basically finding things to focus on because I'm so nervous, I could throw up.

"Hi," he tousles his silk black hair. He's nervous too. I can tell.

"Hey."

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah," I tuck my hair behind my ear and step past him, heading for my old bedroom.

There are boxes on the bed and clothes on the floor. I'd started packing when I arrived because I wouldn't be coming back for a little while.

When I jokingly told Max and Amalia that they could turn this room into a nursery soon, they said they would never raise a child in an apartment. I wasn't sure what that meant for their future, but they seem in agreement at least.

"Heading home then, huh?" Flynn asks, closing the door behind him.

I twist, looking at the surrounding mess. "Yeah. Back to Texas. Did Lucas tell you?"

"Yeah. He didn't mean to. It just came out when I was asking him what his plans were after this. Said he was helping you move back to your mom and dad's."

"He's good like that," I say, leaning against the desk and clasping my hands tight. "Helping me move, I mean. I don't mind that he told you. I would have today."

Flynn nods and we both stand there, the silence stretching on for what feels like forever. Both of us shift, the only noise in the room is our feet on carpet and the muffled conversation and laughter coming from the living room.

"This is so weird," Flynn exhales and runs a hand across his face. "I never would have thought we'd be this awkward around each other."

I didn't either but I chalk it up to the fact that I have secrets I need to tell him. It's sitting on my chest, filling my mouth with the bitterness of impending bad news. Hurting Flynn is the last thing I want to do but not being honest would be worse.

The weirdest part of all of this is looking at someone who I thought would forever be the breath to my lungs and feeling. . . a sweet summer breeze instead.

I love Flynn, he's beautiful and thoughtful and a man who deserves the world. But I know that I can live without him and I know enough about who I am, to know that our futures are no longer aligned.

"I slept with someone else," Flynn blurts out and his shoulders slump, almost curling in on himself as if he's just relieved himself of the weight of the world.

"What?" I say, dumbfounded. That's not where I thought this was going at all.

"I'm sorry," He paces, hands on his hips. "I am— I don't know what happened. We were out at the bar and we connected and I— I told her I'm single. I am, technically."

His eyes dart to me for a moment and he stops in his tracks. "Why are you smiling?"

"Oh," I touch my lips. "I didn't realize I was. Sorry, you're so sweet when you're all worked up."

"Aren't you upset?" He asks quietly.

"You are single."

He swallows, his jaw feathering as he casts his shattered gaze at the floor. "I know but I still felt— bad. I feel like I should've talked to you first."

I giggle and pretend to talk on the phone, adopting a deeper voice. "Oh, hey, Abby? Yeah, I'm about to have sex, I just thought we should discuss it first. Thoughts?"

He throws his head back and sighs. "You know that's not what I mean. You really channel your brother at entirely the wrong time. We have to talk about what I did."

How do I tell him I feel like the biggest weight has been lifted off me? I don't want to seem like I don't care but. . . I'm not upset. It's sort of shocking.

"I really never thought you would do something like that," I say, regarding him with my head tilted.

"I didn't either," he starts pacing again. "I just—"

"Flynn," I decide to put him out of his misery. Or inflict more, depending on how he takes it. "I'm not upset because, I've moved on too."

He stops again, his lips parted, brows pulled down. "You have?"

"I'm seeing someone. We haven't had sex but, we're. . .dating. I like him. I was working up the nerve to tell you and then you told me you're sleeping with some—"

"It was just once," he interrupts.

"So far."

He lowers his head.

"You didn't ask me for forgiveness," I say. "You didn't ask me to take you back or that you'd made a mistake. I think you're okay with what happened. You're allowed to be okay, Flynn."

"That's why I feel so bad," he mumbles, swallowing hard. "I am okay. I never thought I would want another woman. I planned on being loyal and waiting, no matter how long that took and then I started going out and meeting people and I just—"

"You're living, Flynn," I say, smiling. "I never wanted you to wait. I think we both got to a place where we felt more obligated to each other than anything else. It was like, we'd come so far and we couldn't allow ourselves the possibility of discovering what else is out there. You're a loyal person, you want to do the right thing and seeing it through, probably felt like the right thing. It's okay to admit we grew apart. Sometimes your first love isn't your last one."

His chest expands on a deep breath. "I guess I never thought of it like that."

"I can't speak for you, but I think I was so desperate to have this epic love, like my mom and dad and letting go when we'd been together for so long would've felt like—"

"Failure?" Flynn says.

"Yeah. I wanted to recreate something rare and wonderful and our love was wonderful, it was. But it's okay that it's over too. That doesn't mean we failed. It just means that it wasn't forever. Better to figure that out sooner rather than later, right?"

His slow nod lets me know that he's hearing and understanding something that hadn't occurred to him before.

"Can we be friends?" I ask, knowing that I might be pushing my luck. "You're part of this family, Flynn. You're my brothers best friend and I never want you to feel pushed out."

"Yeah but won't it be weird turning up to family game night and everyone is with their partner and I'm just . . . there. I came to all of the events because we were a couple. Sure, Lucas and Max are my best friends and we'll hang out but I can't imagine rocking up to Christmas dinner anymore. And that's not because I don't want to see you with another man. It's just different."

Sadness creeps over me. I don't want to feel responsible for him losing a place at our table. He's been there for as long as I can remember.

"Well, if you meet a girl and it gets serious, you'll bring her," I suggest. "There's always room."

"And what if this girl has her own family? I still have mine. I have to see them during the holidays too."

My stomach drops.

"Abby, it's okay," Flynn says, moving in for a hug. "I'm not going to feel shunned just because things change. I'll still be around. I'll come to the birthdays and weddings and all of those events. Does that help?"

"Yeah," I mumble into his shirt.

"Like you said, we can't stay together out of obligation. We'll be fine. Friends, I promise. As long as you're happy."

"I love you, Flynn."

"I love you too."

"Do you mind if I go out there and tell my dad and brother that you slept with someone else? Just for a laugh."

He leans back and gives me a playful glare. "So it wasn't enough to break up with me, you want me dead as well?"

I laugh and head for the door. "To be honest, I can't see them caring. They know I've moved on. Does Lucas know you had sex with someone else?"

"No," he follows me out into the hall. "He'd tell Mills and she's the scariest one out of them all."

When we walk into the living area, Lucas throws his arms wide, a drink in one hand with a little pink straw floating in the glass.

"Finally," he shouts, gaining the attention of the room. "You two in there fucking or something? We've been waiting for you. Amalia and Max want to tell us they're pregnant."

Lucas gets another slap in the back of the head from dad.

"We're not pregnant," Amalia tells her alarmed relatives. The rest of us know not to listen to a single word that comes out of Lucas' mouth.

Flynn takes a seat in the arm chair beside the table, I go back to the couch and we smile at each other from across the room.

"I still want to know what happened in that room," Lucas looks between Flynn and I, waiting for answers he's not going to get. Flynn folds his arms across his chest and gives Lucas a bored stare.

"Fine, we'll talk about it later," Lucas sulks.

"You're such a brat," I lean forward and give him the middle finger. "I told him about Roman. There. Shut up."

Lucas bares his teeth in a grimace, looking at Flynn. "You doing alright, my bro?"

Flynn continues to ignore him because we're in a room full of people who are giving us their attention and it's clear he doesn't want to get into it.

"Who is Roman?" Bernie asks.

"I'll tell you later," I say gesturing to Amalia and Max who are standing together at the living room entrance, waiting for their turn to speak. "You two look like you want to say something?"

"Oh, only if you're done?" Amalia gives me a cheeky grin, winking. "We can give you the floor if you'd like to give us a PowerPoint presentation on all the Roman scandal."

"There is no scandal," Lucas interrupts, slinging his arm around Mills, whose joined him at the breakfast bar. "Zero. It's the least scandalous shit I've ever heard."

"All right," Max speaks up, lacing his fingers with Amalia's. "Shut up for five minutes. We have an announcement, and if you even whisper the words pregnancy, Lucas, we're going outside."

Lucas' brows shoot up and mine no doubt do the same. It's not often that Max puts his foot down and demands we step into line, so this moment must mean a lot to him. It's for sure an engagement but I keep quiet.

"First things first," Max looks down at Amalia, their smiles stretching as they stare at each other lovingly. "I asked Amalia to marry me, and she said yes."

The room erupts into cheering and clapping and hugging and it goes on for a good five minutes before people settle down again. Elias is in tears and Bernie is already sketching a wedding gown in her notebook.

"There's more," Max says when it's quiet again. I didn't see that coming, Perhaps there is a baby on the way.

Max looks at Amalia and gestures for her to go ahead. Her eyes are still shimmering from tears she'd shed with her papa.

"Max and I are moving to Spain in two weeks."

This time, the response is quiet. Bernie's pencil snaps on her notebook and her mouth is hanging open.

"Just for twelve months," Amalia quickly adds. "We're starting in Barcelona but we plan on travelling all over. We're going to be running pop up stalls selling papa's paintings and incorporating tourism into our lives. We think it's a great experience for us before we settle down."

"That sounds great," mom offers. "You should travel and enjoy yourselves while you're young. Will you get married before or after you get back?"

Max and Amalia look at each other before my brother answers. "We're thinking after. We don't have enough time to plan a wedding before we leave so we'll do it when we come back."

"Get married over there," Milly suggests. "That'd be beautiful."

"We didn't want to expect everyone to travel that far," Amalia says.

"Do an intimate ceremony over there," Kiara suggests. "And a big reception when you come home. The people that want to be there and are important, will travel."

Amalia contemplates it for a moment, intrigue on her face.

"We don't have to decide right now," Max says, moving his hand up and down her back.

"Does anyone remember when Max said moving to New York wasn't permanent," Lucas pipes up, his expression solemn. "Look how that ended up. He never came home."

Max looks at Lucas, both of them quietly staring at each other. Their communication never fails to amaze me. Eventually Lucas exhales a harsh breath and drops his gaze.

Max moving to New York had been hard enough for him, he'd always loved having his family close together, something that used to annoy me but I now appreciated it.

It was obvious he was scared Max would decide to stay in Spain.

No matter what he ended up doing, I know how important it is to follow your heart. And his heart belongs to Amalia.