The grill was on, the aroma of hot sizzling meat wafted across the back garden while dad flipped patties and mom sat next to me on the deck chairs.

Our old colonial home had recently been given a fresh coat of paint, the deck re stained and the windows tinted. It was private for the most part, fully fenced, but the windows remained darkened for peace of mind.

Mom and dad moved into this house the same day they found out they were pregnant with me, as traumatic as that had been. Mom didn't know how to feel about the little cross I kept in the kitchen in honour of the twin sister I lost when she miscarried.

As horrific as it had been for dad, he found it amusing. I mean, the kitchen is where it happened and I figured my twin deserved a memorial, even if she'd been lost before mom and dad knew about her.

"You little fucker," dad shouted so suddenly that I startled, mom didn't even flinch. "I'm gonna knock the little bastard into next week if I see him again."

"Who are you talking to?" I gaped.

"He's talking to the squirrel," mom sighed.

"Excuse me?"

"Little ball brain keeps stealing food straight off the table. Bold little shit."

"He and your father have been beefing for the last few months," mom sat up and sheltered her gaze from the sun, searching the backyard. There were a lot of trees and I assumed he'd scurried up one of them.

"You're not really going to hurt him, right?" I asked.

"I'm gonna kick him so hard he lands in Darrell's pool," he muttered. Darrell lived about eight houses down.

"He's not," mom said. "The squirrel has been on the deck within reaching distance several times, he's brave. Your father hasn't done a thing about it. Too soft."

"Shut up, woman," he mumbled and slid his cap backwards.

"What was that?" Mom stood up, pulling her freshly highlighted blonde hair into a bun.

"Nothing, nothing," dad held up his arms in defence. "Fuck, nothing. I said, I love you baby."

"Mhmm," mom grinned at me and walked inside. Dad watched her the entire time, staring at her bum like a sixteen year old boy.

And then he looked at me and his demeanour softened, his smile was reminiscent.

"What, dad?"

"I just like having you home."

To be honest, I liked being home. I'd arrived three days ago and we'd spent a lot of time together. We went out to eat, we hung out at home, swimming or doing board games. Dad took me out on the bike and mom and I went shopping.

It'd been simple but pleasant and quiet. The paps didn't bother mom and dad here like they did in California or New York. Sure, there were the occasional ones but nothing we weren't able to avoid.

"Your room can be renovated if you want to move in," he said, winking when I gave him a warning look. "No pressure. Just thought I'd mention it."

Lucas came through the back gate then, a tank top exposed his ink, which he had more of than skin at this point. He pointed at me, grinning.

"So she's back."

"She's visiting," I said and stood up to give him a hug.

"You're back," he said and slapped me hard enough on the shoulder that I winced.

"Settle the fuck down hulk," I said, rolling my shoulder. "I'm not back. I'm visiting."

"I'll put money on it," he slid his hands into his pockets, he and dad towered over me. "You were always gonna end up back in Texas. Bet. You won't leave."

"Bet what," I challenged. "And how do you figure that? I love New York. I love being with Max and Amalia and Bernie. You don't know shit."

Dad grinned. "Love having my children together."

"I knew it the second you told me you weren't going to rejoin Instagram," Lucas said, arrogant as ever.

"How the fuck does that have to do with where I want to live?"

"Because you're sliding into this quiet life. It's quiet here."

I waved him off and sat back down on the deck chair. "You're full of shit."

"Bet," Lucas said and looked at dad. "Old man, wanna bet?"

"I bet I'll sack tap you if you call me an old man again."

"Better yet," Lucas stepped away just in time to avoid dad smacking him in the crotch with his spatula. "I bet my dick tip that Abby moves back to Texas."

"How does that even work," I reached to the ground and picked up my sun hat. The evening rays were starting to sneak over.

"I'll get it pierced."

"Ha," I shouted. "Nice try, asshole. You've got it done already."

"Fuck," he laughed. "Milly told you?"

"Of course she did," I gagged. "Not that I wanted to know but somehow she deemed it important information."

"Yeah because she likes it when I—"

"Enough," mom walked outside with a bowl of salad and glared at Lucas. "You don't get to do that when she's not here to monitor what's coming out of your mouth."

"Fine," Lucas scuffed his foot on the deck. "She wouldn't care though."

"If she's not here to confirm that, keep it to yourself," mom set the bowl down and met dad's stare which was on her. "What?"

"Should I get my dick pierced?" Dad asked.

"I'm going to neck," I shouted.

"I have an announcement," Lucas interrupted and I was more than grateful to hear whatever shit was about to come out of his mouth. "Mills and I are moving out of the dorms. We want to live together."

"Where?" Mom asked.

"Here. We're moving in."

"Like fuck," dad shouted, slipping his shades onto his head. "You left dude. No take backs."

Lucas pointed at me with outrage. "You'd let her move in."

"She's pleasant to be around," dad shrugged and went back to turning the sausages on the grill.

"Well fuck you," Lucas smiled at his back. "I was kidding anyway. I don't want to move back in here. We're getting an apartment. Can I have six hundred thousand dollars?"

"Literally eat shit," dad said, not even bothering to turn around.

"Max has a job," mom said. "He wanted an apartment, so he works for it."

"You help him all the time," Lucas threw his arms open.

"We'll help you too," mom said. "We're just not handing over insane amounts of money because you demand it."

"Fine," Lucas said and sat down at the outdoor table, resting his elbows on the surface. "So Abby, when are you and my best friend getting back together?"

"Mind your business," I warned in a tone that left no room for him to continue jabbing me about Flynn. He took the warning and muttered a quiet fine.

"Where's Mills?" I asked.

"She wanted to come but she's on period day two," he said and that was enough of an explanation for me, but he continued talking. "She said it's the worst day. The heaviest bleeding, the cramps, the mood. She said it feels like there's a bowling ball trying to drop out of her coochie whenever she's standing. Oh and something about her period poos being offensive."

Dad was staring at Lucas, absolute disgust on his face. "Have you got a fucking brain injury or something?"

"What?" Lucas said. "I'm educated. I listen. I understand."

"Well-fucking-done. Be understanding, but don't go telling the rest of the world the details of your girlfriends period problems. Dumbass."

Lucas just scoffed at dad.

When the food was done cooking, we sat around the table together and the conversation continued in much of the same tone. Inappropriate, Lucas being the centre of gross attention and a constant slew of half hearted insults firing from all corners.

"What time are you going out to this ranch tomorrow?" Dad asked, leaning back in his chair and slinging his arm around the back of mom's one.

"I don't know," I said, finishing the last of my dinner and taking a deep breath, ignoring the fullness in my stomach. "In the morning when I get up, I suppose."

"What ranch?" Lucas asked with a mouthful of potato salad.

"Abby met some dude at the game in the weekend," dad explained. "We sponsor his rescue ranch or something. He invited her out for a tour."

Lucas looked at me and I dared him to say something.

"Can I come?"

"No."

"Why not?" He asked. "Mom, Abby won't let me go to the ranch with her."

"You're supposed to be adults," Dad said, his hand rubbing small circles on mom's shoulder. "Snitching on each other. Grow up."

The three of us shared an incredulous stare but Lucas was the only one brave enough to speak up.

"That's mighty fucking rich, old man," he said.

Dad barely hesitated. He picked a sausage up from his plate and threw it at Lucas with full force, hitting him in the face. It distracted Lucas long enough that dad was up and out of his seat, hurling Lucas into the pool a moment later.

Mom leaned back in her seat with a tall glass of wine, ignoring the spluttering from Lucas and the laughter from dad. She smiled at me.

"You know what series we should watch next," she said. "Dead to Me. I've heard good things."

I laughed. "Sure mom."

The next morning, the car service pulled into a gravel drive out of town. Far out of town. We'd driven about an hour and a half into rural land. It took us another fifteen just to clear the trees sheltering either side of the drive and pull up in front of the ranch. Ro Ranch.

Outside it was bustling with workers going to and from barns and fields, some leading animals, some pushing wheelbarrows full of feed and other various supplies. The smell was earthy, mixed with animal and heat. Not horrible but definitely different.

A small cabin to the right had the word 'reception' nailed above the door and I wandered over and went inside, getting a nice cool blast of air con. The walls were covered in certificates and photos. Photos of animals and staff.

"Morning," a girl appeared from a separate room behind the reception desk, wearing a dark blue shirt and denim shorts, much like the other staff were. Her dark brown hair was cut short and tied up under her cap.

"Hi," I said, admiring her height. "Uh, Roman invited me out here. He said to ask for him at reception."

"Abby," the girl beamed, her smile spreading. Her skin was was dotted with freckles, not just across her nose, but her entire face. Gorgeous. "It's so good to meet you. Roman is super excited to show you around. He's been talking about it since you called."

"Do you have to?" A deep voice came from behind me and there he was, walking in with his own uniform on. Jeans again but instead of a white shirt this time, it was dark blue and his cap sat backwards instead of forward. "Quit exposing me."

"Hey," I said as he came to stand beside me.

"Mornin'," he smiled. "This is Rian. Sister."

Rian came around from behind the desk and I tried not to startle at her legs, both of them amputated from the knee down. Two prosthetists took their place but her movements were flawless.

"Same accident as our dad," Roman explained as Rian took my hand, shaking it.

"I'm bionic," Rian wiggled her brows. "Don't be afraid to ask questions or stare. I might not have flesh on my lower limbs but I can walk and move and do most things people with regular legs can do. I have no cause to complain."

"Wow," I took a good look. "At least you can't get shin bruises."

"Right," she said with excitement. "Shin bruises are the worst."

Roman walked over to reception and leaned over, snatching a bundle of keys from a hook, his shirt stretched tight across his shoulders and I looked out of the window before Rian caught me staring.

"Should we get started?" He asked me, turning around again. "We can come back here for lunch, if you want. We don't have to. You don't have to stay that long. But you're welcome to. If you want."

Rian blew out a long breath. "This is the result of talking to horses all day every day. You have no clue how to talk to women."

I ducked my head, hiding a smile.

"Thanks, Rian," Roman gave his sister a flat stare, looking entirely unamused. His attention moved to me, gaze softening as he gestured at the door. "Shall we?"

"Yep," I said. "It was nice to meet you, Rian. I'll see you at lunch."

Roman's expression brightened for a moment but he was quick to hide it, palming his stubble coated jaw. We moved towards the door.

Rian gave us a cute wave. "Have fun."

Outside, the sun was warm, Roman walked close to me, hands in his pockets. He looked at me and smiled.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh. You just. . . you look beautiful. Great shoes."

I'd worn an old pair of docs and a playsuit with short sleeves. My closet wasn't exactly suited for farm attire so I'd worked with what I had.

"Thanks," I said, my boots crunching gravel as I stared down at them.

As we walked, we passed several staff members, all of them Roman introduced me to and all of them friendlier than the last. The greetings weren't just nonchalant and in passing, but they were warm, welcoming, people asked me about myself and listened with total interest.

"Where's your cowboy hat?" I asked Roman as he unlatched a gate and waited for me to go through first.

"My cowboy hat?"

"Aren't all ranch dudes meant to wear a cowboy hat?" I teased.

"You watch too many movies, huh," he laughed. "No, I don't bother with those. I'd feel a bit ridiculous. One christmas, my dad got me a belt with one of those big silver buckles, with the horse on it. I've never worn it. Oh and I don't walk around with a piece of straw hanging out of my mouth either."

"You're really shattering my whole perception of ranch dudes here," I said and we crossed a field where a dozen goats were grazing and climbing on wooden frames.

"Let's see, what else might you have assumed about me," he held his chin with thought. "I don't wrangle cows with a rope, I don't ride horses bareback through the river, I don't line dance or drink moonshine."

I couldn't stop laughing as he gave me a nudge with his elbow. "So what do you do?" I asked.

"I shovel a lot of shit and talk to animals all day."

"The dream life, huh."

He laughed and we finally reached an enormous stable full of stalls. Most of them were empty but a few horses occupied two of them.

"There's definitely more to it than that and I happen to love all of it. Sorry, I haven't been much of a tour guide so far. Back there were our goats. They don't serve a huge purpose. Rian just really likes goats. This is where we keep the horses, who are all out grazing. I thought we could do the tour on horse back this morning."

"Not bareback though?" I said, grinning as I looked up at him.

"Trust me, you wouldn't walk right for two days."

I clamped my lips tight and almost died swallowing the laughter that was bubbling up. Stupid Lucas and dad, forever cursing my mind with their filth. Roman gave me a curious look and then his features morphed into realization and he straightened up, running a hand across his face.

"Okay, Rian might've been right. I did not mean for that to sound so—"

"It's fine," I giggled and I was trying so hard to fight it that I ended up snorting.

"I apologize," he laughed. "Uh, saddles. We'll be using saddles. Do you have experience with horse riding?"

"Yeah, a little," I said, the last of my giggles fading off.

"You want some pants to slip on?" He asked, looking at my bare legs. "The horse hair can kind of itch. We have clean spares in here."

"That'd be good, thanks."

He found me a pair of black trousers. They were simple, loose and had a draw string which was a relief because they were far too big for me."

"Sorry," Roman said, watching me roll up the bottoms. "We just get the one size. It fits all, sort of."

"I got it," I said, standing up straight. I was swimming in the pants but it didn't matter considering they would serve their purpose.

"You look cute," Roman said and my cheeks warmed. "Uh helmets."

Roman saddled up the horses, both of them a dark brown with lush manes and white patches on their noses. Once we were sorted, we climbed on and started a slow trot out of the stable.

Roman showed me so much. We went through the field of horses, there were a few pens set up where staff were working with rescues, training them, building up their trust and doing it with gentle affection.

There were kennels of dogs and cats, all up for adoption under a strict screening process. The kennels were enormous, space was no issue, especially considering the kennels then opened up into a big field where the dogs could run free.

Rabbits, ferrets, foxes and wild birds. There was so much to see.

We went out south, across wide open spaces until a river broke the hills and clear water rushed across stones and pebbles. The horses had a drink and Roman looked at me, a sheen of sweat coating his bare, olive arms.

"Enjoying it?"

"It's beautiful out here. You have the friendliest staff I've ever come across."

He smiled. "Yeah we have a good team out here. Damn it's hot under the sun," he said, fanning his shirt in and out. "How you doing in those pants?"

"It's just sweat," I said and we laughed. "I'm just baking here."

"We could swim?" He suggested, giving Marsh, his horse, a scratch on the neck. "There's a water hole just down and around the bend. Or we could go and get something to eat. You choose."

"What's left to see?" I asked.

"We've seen most of it," he stared into the distance with thought. "Oh, we haven't seen the domes but those aren't animals."

"Domes?"

"Yeah we have a couple domes in the farthest paddock. Clear bubble things to camp in. They're nice at—"

"You're kidding," I interrupted him with excitement. "You have those? Those are the absolute best form of accomodation, ever. Mom and dad spent the night in one a super long time ago. I've done it once in California. Incredible. You really have those?"

"About four of them," Roman seemed pleased to have caused my excitement.

I was itching to ask if I could camp out for a night. Would that be weird? Too impulsive? It's not like I had an overnight bag. Did I need one?

"You're welcome to spend the night in one," Roman said, his hand resting on his thigh. "You and whoever you might want to bring. A friend or boyfriend."

"I'm not— well I'm not really in a relationship right now."

"Oh. Yeah. Uh, a friend then. I don't know, you're just welcome here, whenever."

I tried to fight the urge, I really did but it didn't last. "Can I please spend the night in one? Tonight? Do I have to book it? Are they rented out."

He laughed at the way I twisted in the saddle and pleaded.

"We used to rent them out but it was getting in the way of our main focus here. They still get used all the time by the staff and volunteers. You're welcome to one. No cost. No booking. It's yours for the night."

We looked at each other and there was an easy quiet between us, but the longer we looked, the louder that quiet became.