It was late when I arrived back in New York. So I didn't bother Max or Amalia for a ride. Instead I sat in the back of an Uber and watched the city lights reflecting off the tinted glass window while I clutched my phone with a tight grip.

Radio silence.

It was driving me insane that Flynn was sending me straight to voice mail. The nerve that he had to assault my agent and then not even chat to me about it. Like, lord, I was having a panic attack for fucks sakes. I didn't care that he'd beaten him to a pulp and left him behind a dumpster like some dark vigilante prowling the streets to serve justice one perv at a time.

I cared that he wouldn't even call me back to tell me what he'd been thinking. He could have been arrested or hurt. Well, hurt seemed unlikely. It was Flynn and he was huge and capable of taking care of himself. But still.

Okay so I wasn't even sure what I wanted him to say to me. All I knew was that I just had him back and then he was gone again and I supposed that I deserved that. But it still sucked. I missed him so much. I hadn't even realised how much I missed him until he'd held me close to him again. How he'd pushed my hair behind my ears and encased me with his arms.

Those small actions that sound so minor have always meant the world to me. It's incredible how something as simple as his hand on my lower back can give me an array of butterflies. Or how his smile can colour the world around me. I did believe it when he told me that I wasn't a burden on him. That he was here to love me through the good and the bad. I knew that he meant it. That didn't stop me from feeling like a burden regardless.

When I arrived at the apartment, I slipped my key into the door and went inside. As fucking weird as it sounded, I could smell Flynn. He had such a distinct signature scent. It was like a clean, sporty, masculine fragrance. Fresh. I shut the door and almost ran up the short corridor before I came around the bookshelf and saw him sitting at the breakfast bar while Amalia made hot tea in her robe.

"Just in time," she slid a cup across the countertop and smiled. "It's watermelon and pear. It smells so good."

I dropped my back pack, letting it land on the carpet with a dull thud. "What the fuck cunt?"

Flynn slowly stood up while Amalia cradled her hot cup and twisted on her heel so that she was watching the light pollution outside of her kitchen window.

I was on the brink of a full on fit and I didn't give a fuck who was watching. In the back of my mind I could hear the soft reminder of someone telling me that I need to think before I speak - not a strong suit of mine - so I physically bit my tongue and wondered how long I could hold off before I exploded.

"My phone got thrown out," Flynn quickly said. He was dressed in a pair of track pants and a t shirt. There were no signs of an altercation on his hands or face. So I stood still where I was and let him continue. "I'm sorry. I dropped it last night and the screen shattered and I'd also been using it to make some calls and search some stuff so I thought it'd be best to throw it out so that there was nothing linking me to—"

"Beating the hell out of my agent?"

He pursed his lips and nodded.

I let out a long low groan and almost pulled at my hair. But it was twisted up into a knot on the top of my head, still damp from the shower I'd had just before I hopped on the flight this evening.

"Are you mad?" He came closer and stood in front of me. "I know that you didn't want me to tell anyone but I had to do something, Abby. I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he'd touched you and I felt sick."

There must have been an obvious amount of hurt in my features because he took one final step to close the distance between us and held my face in his hands. "You don't make me sick. That's not what I meant so don't even think it. I meant that he does. What he did. He's disgusting and he needed to get his comings."

I stared up at him and couldn't help but smile at the familiar aching tingle that I'd get in the back of my neck whenever I had to look up at my man. So tall. He made me feel so safe. Before I could jump up and land a kiss on his lips, the bathroom door opened and we both looked to the left where Max was emerging from the corridor with damp hair, sweats and no shirt on.

The first thing that I noticed was that he had my birthday tattooed under his collarbone. I hadn't seen that before. The second thing that I noticed was that his knuckles were dark red and purple. The bruising was covering almost the entire top of this hand and his skin looked split and damaged in some places. I stepped out of Flynn's hold, mouth hanging open.

He didn't. . .

He came up short when he saw me and slipped his hand into his pocket.

He did.

"What?!" I stormed towards him and ripped his hand out of his pocket. He flinched as I stared at it. Pieces of the puzzle were falling into place and I met his guilty stare with disbelief. "I can't believe that I missed this. You were the one that beat the hell out of Avery and I missed it."

"Me too," Amalia frowned and sipped on her tea. She looked genuinely disappointed. But then it occurred to me that she knew. She knew and so did Max. They knew what had happened to me.

"You all know then."

"I'm sorry," Flynn sat down on the sofa and leaned back, looking exhausted. "I needed help and Max was here. I knew that he'd want to help. I couldn't ask Lucas or Drayton. Those two are the definition of taking things too far and I didn't want to kill the bastard. I mean, I did but I knew that I couldn't."

I turned back to Max and peeped at his knuckles again. "Shït not to sound like a bitch but who helped who here? It looks like Max did the brunt of it."

"He did," Flynn nodded. "That wasn't the plan to be honest but things sort of took a different direction in the heat of the moment. I was worried that I'd picked up the wrong twin and I was about to witness a murder."

Max shifted his weight and rolled his eyes.

"Man," I mumbled. "I can't believe you popped off and I didn't get to see it. The FOMO dude."

"Right," Amalia agreed. She wandered into the living area and sat down on the other side of the sofa, pulling her feet under her bum. "I would have gone if I'd known what was happening."

"Which is why you didn't know what was happening," Max gave her a soft but stern look. "I didn't want you anywhere near that fucking predator."

I recoiled and slapped a hand across my chest. "Max. What the fuck? Language."

He gave me a nudge in the shoulder with his good hand and then he swept me into a hug. It made my cheeks turn hot to know that everyone was watching and they knew exactly why I was being hugged so damn tight in the first place. My darkest secret was out and I couldn't help but feel a little bit tarnished. A little bit worthless. Like I would now be seen as damaged and fragile. Like when people looked at me, they would see the victim of a dirty assault, rather than just seeing me for who I am. That was the worst part.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled so quietly that I doubted Amalia and Flynn would have heard him. "This shouldn't have happened. It should never fucking happen. I'm sorry."

I felt a familiar burn in my nose and eyes. So I exhaled and gave him a pat on the back. "You have to stop swearing dude. It's so weird."

He laughed and stepped back, a subtle glisten in his own eyes. I couldn't stand watching my brothers get emotional. It broke me. It was like the biggest weakness that I had and if he started sobbing, I was going to fall apart. So I turned around and headed over to the couch, sitting down between Flynn and Amalia.

Attempting to hold back tears is so damn hard. I had to breathe, focus and hope that no one asked me if I was okay. Because as soon as that happened, the floodgates would open and I'd be a mess again. I just wanted a break from crying. It was making me swell in the face.

Amalia must have understood that because she leaned back in the couch beside me, slipped her hand around mine and rested her head on my shoulder. She didn't say a word. She was just there. Max smiled at me and pointed over his shoulder.

"I'll go and get dressed. Back in a minute."

"So how long will you be here for?" I asked Flynn who was sitting forward now, elbows on his knees. He peered back at me and shrugged.

"I have classes that I need to be at this week. But I can hang around for another night. Maybe two."

"I'd like that."

"Yeah?" He smiled and I nodded. We hadn't had enough time together and what time we did have, had been spent under sort of dark circumstances.

"Amalia?" I said and she lifted her head to look at me. "What are you doing on Wednesday?"

She shrugged. "No plans at the moment. Why is that?"

"I had an idea that I wanted to run past Bernie. I was wondering if we could go to Philadelphia again?"

"Of course," she sat up, smiling. "Yeah we can do that. I'll tell her to hang out at home. Sick."

"Oh. Duh. I forgot about school. How come she was off last week?"

"Because she had to work on that dress so she got dad to call her in sick. He doesn't do it all the time but he does advocate for creative days. He think it's unnatural to spend too much time in a class room."

"The man," Flynn sounded impressed. A little envious too. He'd gone from the womb to a classroom. His parents had eased up a lot though. He'd been granted permission to follow his own dreams when he was about sixteen.

Max wandered out of the corridor with a long sleeve on now. He sat down at the table on the other side of the room and crossed his ankles as he leaned back. He looked tired.

"You should get some sleep," I told him and stood up, offering Flynn my hand. He took it without hesitation. "You didn't have to wait up."

He shook out his wet hair and shrugged. "Amalia wanted to have tea ready."

Oops. I hadn't even touched the tea.

I smiled at her as she stood as well and gave me a cuddle. I didn't let go of Flynn's hand though. I was scared to. "We didn't get our breakfast in bed date," she pouted and slipped over to Max who was now waiting beside the corridor. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "This weekend, alright? Breakfast mimosas and exotic fruits."

I grinned. "Sounds good."

We said our goodnights and then it was just Flynn and I again. I looked up and found him watching me. As impossible as it was, sometimes it felt like I could hear his emotions. Like I could hear how much it meant to him that we were standing together again. Hand in hand. I felt it too though. Perhaps it was a reflection of my own emotions. That wouldn't have surprised me. We'd always been in sync.

"What should we do?" He asked.

"I've been so wired all weekend. I think I just need to get into bed. If that's alright?"

"Of course."

So we did. We slipped in beside each other. The lights were off but the curtains were open and cast a multi coloured glow throughout the room. Flynn wasn't wearing a shirt. He'd pulled it off before he climbed in beside me and I could feel the heat radiating off his frame underneath the covers.

His hand found mine and we laced our fingers together. "Abby?"

"Mmm?"

"Can you tell me about rehab?" His tone was cautious. "Just— a little bit? I feel like I missed a huge part of your recovery and if it's not too hard, it'd be nice— well not nice— but I wouldn't mind knowing a bit about it."

I smiled up at the ceiling. "It's hard to describe, I suppose. I learned a lot. Developed the strength to share. Talk about how I'm feeling. Trust. I made friends. Oh that reminds me."

I swiped my phone off the side table drawer and opened the camera. "Take a photo with me?"

Flynn chuckled but snuggled in closer. I held the phone above us and smiled. The flash was blinding and when I checked the picture, both of our eyes were half closed. But our smiles were big. So I figured that was the most important part.

"Who are you sending that to?"

"My friend. Alex," I told him, sending the picture through messages. "She's a little bit older than us. I dunno. Getting to know her was so helpful. She was sort of like a big sister. We had a lot of one on one time and she really wanted us to get back together."

"Well then, I'm a fan," I could hear Flynn's smile. He shuffled beside me and then his arm was underneath me and he was pulling me into his side. I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heart. His thumb made circles on my lower back and hip.

Alex text back almost immediately. I rested the phone on Flynn's chest and swiped it unlocked.

Alwkwksjsjeh. YAS. You both look like you ain't wearing much. Please tell me you just had great make up sex ? My body needs it to be so.

I felt Flynn's chest rumbling with laughter beneath me. Sheesh Alex. I didn't bother responding to her. That could wait until the morning.

"Your room looks nice," he said after a quiet moment. I was almost dozing off under the soothing sensation of his hand wandering up and down my back. "It reminds me of being back in California with you."

My tired smile lifted so high that it hurt. "That was sort of the point," I confessed. "I was feeling a bit homesick."

"You could come home. If you wanted."

"I do want that," I said, chewing on the tip of my finger. "But not right now. Soon. I kind of want to get back on my feet first. Ya know. Figure myself out a bit."

"Like, see if you're happier without me?"

My heart almost broke at the sound of his despair. I put a palm on his chest and leaned up so that I could look at him. "No. Not happier without you. I just need to re establish who I am and what I want to do with my life. And I need to do it alone. That doesn't mean that I don't want to be with you. I just want to stay in New York for a little while. Does long distance sound horrible to you?"

He ran his finger down the length of my face. "Not as horrible as not having you at all."

My stomach twisted and turned and I leaned in, moving through the dark towards my absolute light. He inched forward too and our lips met and his kiss made tears well in my eyes. I'd missed him so fucking much. And I would continue to miss him. But I needed this time. I needed to know who I was without a man right at my side. And I knew that we'd be fine. Because this was us.

"I'll be back in California in less than a month," I murmured against his mouth. His tongue lapped out at my lips and he mumbled an incoherent response. Before I could brace for it, he snatched my wrist and threw me down into the mattress so that he was above me.

"I love you," he said, kissing me on the forehead. His lips traveled. He kissed me on the nose. The cheeks. Lips. Neck. "You're beautiful. Smart. Sweet. So damn beautiful."

"I love you too, Flynn."

And I did. So much. So much that I was in pain just thinking about the fact that we were going to be thrown another curveball soon. Because as much as I didn't want to, I had to tell him that I no longer wanted to have children. It was possible that I'd change my mind in time. But I doubted it. I could see no upside to having children. The biggest influence in my choice was the fact that no matter how hard a parent tried, they couldn't stop awful things from happening to their child.

No child, no pain.

It made sense to me. But I knew that Flynn wanted to have a couple of kids in the future. We'd talked about it. We'd discussed names. Schools. Nursery decor. We'd had it all planned out. But the thought made me nauseous now. I'd gone as far as to have an IUD inserted while I was in rehab. I guess I would have to tell him about that too. But not tonight. Tonight I just wanted to be in love again.