Five Years Ago

"I fucking hate her. Like I don't give a shit that your brother is slamming that twat. She's a piece of shit and I stand by that. I'm also going to be honest—"

"What, that wasn't honest?" I interrupted Milly.

She raised a hand. "And I hate her because she thinks she can steal my best friend and I'm telling you right now, I'll mess her up if she even tries."

"You're my ride or die," I told her over the loud music pounding through the back garden. "Forever. Stop stressing and please don't hit her. Not tonight. Mom and dad will freak."

"Your mom and dad are oblivious."

We both looked over at the huge inflatable obstacle course that was spread from one end of the back garden to the other.

She was right. Mom and dad were oblivious. Both of them were far too occupied challenging each other in who could do the course the fastest.

Tonight the twins and I were celebrating our sixteenth together. As we did for a lot of our birthdays because they were four months apart.

Mom and dad had hired a caterer. The bounce house and obstacle course. A DJ. The pool was being used and alcohol was being consumed on the down low.

No one was supposed to be drinking but I think mom and dad were pretending not to notice.

Or perhaps they just genuinely had no idea because they were too busy acting like children themselves.

The night was starting to wind down, the guests were leaving and noise control had been once so far to let Dad know the music needed to be turned down.

He promised it would be and then he shouted over the fence to our neighbour that he could put some ear plugs in and get the fuck over it.

So we could likely expect the noise control officer back in another half n hour. Maybe the police too.

"Hey."

I looked at one of the girls from school, Daphne, who appeared to be leaving.

Mills scoffed and turned around to walk inside. She was in a mood.

"Yeah?" I asked Daphne.

"Uh it was fun," she said, shifting from foot to foot. "Do you think your dad would take a photo with me before I leave?"

She had the entire night to ask and she was choosing now.

I looked over at Dad and saw that he had mom pushed up against the bounce house while he kissed her. Literally gag but aww.

"Nope," I said. "He's checked out for the night. Perhaps next time? Thanks so much for coming."

She seemed disappointed but her and her friends wandered off through the garden fence.

It was quieter by the time I walked into the rec room and found Lucas, Ingrid, Jorjia and Flynn hanging out.

Jorjia was sitting on Lucas. Flynn was leaning on the pool table and Ingrid was passed out on the floor with a giant penis drawn on her cheek.

"Really, Lucas?" I laughed.

He threw his arms wide and feigned innocence. "What's with the assumptions?"

"Who else would do that?"

He sniggered and relaxed again, his hands wandering all over Jorjia. Gross.

"Game of pool?" Flynn suggested as I wandered over to him. Argh. He was so cute. In a big and muscular sort of way. I leaned on the edge of the table and smiled.

"Yeah. Love to. Where's max and Kyla?"

"Upstairs I believe," Flynn answered. He arranged the pool balls in the triangle.

Jorjia and Lucas were on the couch smooching each other and I had to refrain from gagging. I spent less and less time with her ever since she disregarded girl code on another level and started having sex with my brother whenever she was here.

She didn't even care that it bothered me. She was always going on about how her sex life had no impact on her friendships and she was entitled to do it with who she wanted, when she wanted and how she wanted.

She even tried it on with me.

Mills wandered in a moment later and screwed her face up at Jorjia and Lucas. Their lips parted just long enough for Jorjia to give my best friend a sarcastic smile. "Milly."

"Medusa," she smiled back with just as much hatred. If not more.

Lucas lightly laughed and watched my best friend.

"Having a good night, Mills?" Lucas asked and twisted so he could see us all over the back of the sofa. He had a pash rash forming around his mouth.

"Great," she answered, tugging on the bottom of her short dress. "You have a little something on your face, Luc. I think it might be a disease."

Jorjia seemed amused and sat up, straddling Lucas in a short leather skirt. "You seem sort of tense all the time, Mills. You could join Lucas and I if you wanted. Could be a good time."

"As if I'd go near that minge," she gagged. "I'd rather be impaled with a pool cue than be within arms reach of that toxic wasteland you call a fanny."

Jorjia pushed off Lucas and stood up with an unbothered shrug of her shoulders. "Whatever then. I'm going to the bathroom. Back in a minute, Lou."

"Lou," Milly mocked with a whisper.

Flynn and I looked at each other and shared a small smile. He was such a breath of fresh air to have around when all of these strong personalities were in the same space.

Lucas stood up with a sigh and ran a hand through his hair as he wandered over to Mills and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "You could be nicer to her."

"I think the main thing to remember is that I could be meaner."

He laughed and dragged her over to the kitchenette where a bottle of vodka was hidden underneath the sink.

The two of them were bickering but stood there and had a shot together. Flynn circled the pool table and handed me a cue. I smiled and felt a little tingle when his finger tips brushed mine.

Perhaps he felt it too. That had been happening a little more often recently. I'd never felt anything like it before.

But it was something that I was keeping a secret for the simple fact that Lucas would throw a total bitch fit if he knew that I was crushing on his best friend.

"We should make this more interesting," I grinned up at him. He was so tall. I barely reached his big firm chest.

"Yeah. How?"

"What if, whoever sinks a ball, the other person does a shot?"

Flynn winced and leaned on his cue, thinking it over while his gloss black, straight hair fell over his forehead and into his eyes.

This was getting out of hand. And the worst part was, he was so far out of my league. I was sure he saw me as a little sister and nothing else. Despite the fact that we were the same age.

"Sounds like a plan," he finally agreed. I grinned and handed him the cue so I could go and steal the vodka and shot glasses from Mills and Lucas who were laughing one moment and then cussing each other out the next.

"Mate," Milly scoffed. "You just turned sixteen. You sure you even know how to use it? Is it even fully developed."

"You wanna see it?"

"Only if you want it torn off and shoved up your own arse."

I frowned and might as well have been invisible as I slid around them and snatched the alcohol.

Lucas had no idea what it was to be modest and Milly had no idea how not to go five minutes without threatening someones life. Or her own.

"Alright," I blew a strand of hair out of my face and put the glasses on the edge of the pool table. Youngblood was humming through the stereo and I bopped along as I poured a shot each. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear whatever the hell was going on over there. Oh, by the way, I should warn you that I'm a bit of a lightweight. But I am also an exceptional pool player. So this could go super well or horribly wrong."

"Confident," Flynn stood beside me and stared down with a mischievous grin. I'd hung around while he had a game with Lucas once or twice but I couldn't recall if he'd been as skillful as I am or not. Because I was not being modest when it came to pool. I owned this shit.

In fact, I did not own this shit.

I wasn't awful. But I was doing shots at the same pace as Flynn. Although, he was a lot bigger than me. So I made him have two instead of one.

We had the giggles after half n hour. Both of us were attempting to smother our snorting because Mills was asleep on the sofa beside Ingrid - Lucas had lifted her off the ground fifteen minutes ago - and he and Jorjia had slipped off after mom and dad told us they were going to bed.

We hadn't had time to hide the bottle of alcohol that was almost finished but neither of them said a word and left us to it.

That might not have been the case if it was anyone else but Flynn and I. But mom and dad loved Flynn.

They regarded him as the sensible, safe friend and not at all the friend that brushed up behind me and seemed to be doing whatever he could to be close.

I was on the brink of losing my fucking mind. Ugh he was so hot and tall and his smile made dimples. I was becoming a mess.

"If I get this in, I win," I said, leaning over to line up a shot. Flynn had both palms on the edge of the table and I caught his stare lingering on the neckline of my dress which had fallen.

I wasn't wearing a bra either.

"Go on then," he gestured his head at the ball and fixed me with a challenging smile.

I took the shot and straightened up, watching the ball roll across the table. The anticipation was building like a rubber band and it snapped when the ball sunk and I jumped into the air with a silent fist pump.

I couldn't be too loud. I didn't want to wake up the girls. Flynn laughed and wandered over, offering his hand for a high five.

"Nice," he smiled as our hands met.

Instead of dropping them again, his fingers wrapped around mine and his thumb made little circles on the back of my hand. It sent a shiver through me.

I stared up at him, wondering if he was thinking about kissing me as much as I was thinking about kissing him.

But then he let go and slipped his hands into his pockets. "I should have those shots I guess," he laughed. "That was part of the deal."

"You don't have to," I waved him off and set the cue on the wall rack. "You've had a lot. I'll let this one slide."

He laughed but gave me an appreciative nod. I could tell that he was feeling the alcohol but he wasn't a mess.

"Those are cool shoes," Flynn gestured at the ground and I peeped down at my maroon and white vans.

"Cute, huh. I did a shoot for this street wear magazine. It was one of those spreads where they do different outfits for occasions and that sort of thing. It was fun."

"Can I see it?"

I smiled and almost tripped over nothing. Embarrassing. Here's me attempting to be cute and alluring and I can barely blink without looking like a hot mess. "Sure," I exhaled and started for the door. "They're upstairs."

The house was quiet and dark. I held onto the wooden railing as we tip toed upstairs.

I was so aware of the fact that Flynn was two steps behind me and I could still feel his breath fanning the top of my head. My heart picked up speed when we hit the top floor and he put his hand on the lower of my back.

"It's dark up here," he whispered. "Don't go walking into a door."

I quietly scoffed. "I know my way around here," I didn't move out of his soft hold though. "And I'm not that much of a mess."

His laugh was almost silent and we moved up the corridor. Despite being sure that I wasn't going to walk into a door, I wasn't anticipating the linen closet being open and there was a loud thud when I connected with wood.

"Shit," Flynn was sniggering beside me as he wrapped his arm around my waist and stopped me from falling flat on my ass.

"Who the fu— Lucas that fucking moron." I held my nose and breathed through the sting.

I had no doubt he'd stolen a bunch of blankets and went off to screw Jorjia in some stupid place that he thought qualified as adventurous.

Eventually we made it to my bedroom and I switched on the fairy lights that framed the walls. It cast a soft luminous glow that created an ambient atmosphere and just enough light that I could flick through the pages of the magazine and show him the feature I'd done.

"Oh wow," he lifted it out of my hands and stared at the page with awe. At least, that was what it looked like. "These photos are gorgeous. But I mean, you're always beautiful."

"Whatever," I gave him a light shove but I was on fire. My entire stomach flipped over itself and I was hoping I hadn't turned a bright shade of red.

He continued gazing at the photos with a soft smile as we stood beside my desk. "You love it, huh?"

"Modelling?"

He nodded.

"Love it. I love being on a shoot and dressing up. I love the excitement and the chance to feel beautiful."

The magazine lowered and I looked up to find Flynn watching me with his brows pulled. "You don't feel beautiful regardless?"

I shrugged. It wasn't that I thought I was ugly. But it was different.

"You're stunning," he dropped the magazine onto the desk and placed a finger underneath my chin, lifting it so I had to meet his stare. "You ar— when I look at you, sometimes I actually can't grasp how someone can be so gorgeous. Your sea green eyes are beautiful. Your soft cheeks with a light sprinkle of freckles. Your sweet little nose. You're just mesmerising to look at."

"You don't mean that."

He was now cupping my face with two hands. "Yeah I do. I shouldn't because. . . well, Luc. But I do mean it. You're so beautiful. I've kind of thought about kissing you before. Once or twice."

My voice was nothing more than a whisper as I felt my feet lifting into tiptoe. "You have?"

He nodded, his thumb moving in slow strokes on my cheek.

"You could."

"You. . . you want me to?"

My heart was pounding so hard it hurt. He smelled incredible, his hands felt safe and I had never wanted something more. Ever. "Yeah, that'd be okay with me."

His gaze flickered down to my parted lips and he slowly moved in.

So I stepped forward and as our mouths met, he straightened up a little, pulling my body into his. One hand dropped to my back and the other kept holding on to my neck.

I was glad he had me upright. Because I couldn't feel a damn thing apart from the tingling in my lips and cheeks.

We got a feel for our kiss. It was slow and sweet and then his mouth opened and our tongues met and his grip flinched and tightened.

It was like we fed off each other's need. The stronger his touch became, the more I wanted him. I threw my arms around his neck and we stumbled backward towards the bed, our kiss growing more frantic.

He sat down on the mattress and I stood between his legs, hands in his hair, mouth on his neck. He groaned and held me around the waist, his grip was desperate and I knew how he felt because I was becoming more and more wound up.

Without breaking our kiss, I put a knee on either side of him and straddled his waist. His hands slid down to my bum and he groaned again.

I needed him. I didn't even know what it was like to have sex with someone but I needed it with him, right now.

I leaned back for a moment and gripped the bottom of my dress, pulling it over my head so I could discard it on the floor. Flynn swallowed and it was audible and visible. He stared at my chest.

"Is this okay?"

He cupped my neck and I could see that he was practically sweating. "I mean, it is. But are you sure?"

I nodded and moved my hips, feeling him beneath me. "I um, it's my first time."

His eyes widened.

"But I don't mind. I actually think it'd be special with you. I want this. I promise."

"No it's not that," he chuckled and lowered his head. "I'm a virgin too."

"Oh," I smiled and felt sort of satisfied to know I wasn't the only one with no experience in this situation. "Well . . . we don't have to do this. If you're not ready."

He looked at me again and before I could react, he picked me up, threw me on the bed and kneeled above me with his hands beside my head. "I want this if you do too."

"I do," I nodded and wrapped my legs around his waist. "We can figure it out together?"

"I have a basic idea of what goes where," he laughed and sat up to pull his shirt over his head.

He was so hot. So defined and broad. I sat up before he could fall over me again and gripped his waist band so I could pull his pants down.

He watched me freeing him with hooded lids. His lip was drawn between his teeth. "You're so beautiful, Abby."

I smiled and he finished kicking off his pants before he crawled over me and I fell back onto the mattress.

He looked gorgeous in the low light. His soft black hair had become disheveled and he encased me. Like I could disappear beneath him. It was such a secure feeling. I'd never felt more safe despite being at my most vulnerable.

"Are you sure about this?" He murmured as he lowered and feathered my chest and neck with kisses that sent a shiver straight through me.

"Yes. Are you?"

I felt his smile on the mound of my breast as his mouth went lower. "I've never been more sure. Condom?"

"I'm on birth control."

He leaned up and fixed me with a curious look. "I thought you hadn't—"

"It's for periods."

He blushed. "Sorry."

"It's fine," I assured him and ran my fingers into his hair.

He leaned back in and kissed me. Once again, it picked up pace and our hands and lips started to move faster. He kept his weight up with one arm while the other hand explored.

He touched my chest, he slid lower and then he ran his finger along my centre and it was like a shock of pleasure jolting straight through me.

So he did it a few more times and then I became impatient and lifted my bum so I could slide my underwear down.

We were both breathing hard and fast as he lined himself up and looked down at me with parted lips and a sheen to his skin.

He had his elbows on the mattress and his hands in my hair. "Is it okay? Tell me if it hurts."

He went slow and I was wet. I knew I was drenched. But it still hurt. Not unbearably so. It was just a mild stretching sting. Our eyes remained on one another as he kept going. I winced.

"Should I stop?" He sounded worried.

I shook my head. "No. Keep going," I smiled and exhaled.

So he did and soon he was all the way in and the pain was becoming non existent. I let him know by thrusting upward.

He got the message. He almost growled as he thrusted his hips and started moving a bit faster. A bit harder.

The pain was replaced with pleasure and I threw my head back, smothering the moans by putting my fist in my mouth.

"You're so beautiful," he panted. "It feels so good. Is it good for you?"

"Mhmm," I moaned a little too loud.

I tried to remember that I didn't want to be heard but I was getting slammed into another dimension.

I'd never felt pleasure like this before. I didn't want it to end.

I knew that it wasn't just about the action. The action of sex. I'd read too much to know that sex alone wasn't guaranteed to be great. Factors came into it. Setting. Partner. History. Not always. But sometimes.

However, I knew I'd have never felt this comfortable with someone else. I would never have felt more appreciated and valued. There was just something in his tone, in the way he held me, in the way he looked at me. I felt so much more for him than just the need to have sex. I felt like I never wanted to let him go.