Warning: swear words.

I'm trying

I'm trying from my heart to my fingertips and it's still

Not enough for you people and

I promise I'm fucking trying

Okay?

I'm trying to hold in the pain, bite your lip, don't let it show

I'm trying to hide the uncertainty, mustn't become part of the crow, sweetheart, you need to be better

I'm trying not to be another one of those girls, you know, the ones who pray and daydream and die choking on red lipstick

The kind that He likes

I really promise I'm fucking trying

Okay?

And I swear I'm trying 

To feel the sand between my toes 

And smell the flowers

And feel the sun on my skin

And shouldn't it be easy to feel happy, not like

Carrying the whole damn world

On your shoulders?

I'm trying and trying and trying,

Trying till I'm coughing blood

Concealed in toothless grins

And learning how to force smile wrinkles

Maybe if I'm happy, others can be sad--wouldn't want to monopolize an emotion, sweetheart

I'm trying until I find myself at the corner of second and queen,

Until I'm so fucking desperate to be happy

I'd give away my happiness, 

Because the world just needs for something to be happy for a few moments

I'm trying

      So

           Damn

                    Hard

But it feels like lately,

The only time I smile like the sun

Is when you're here

So please come back

Okay?