[heyyyy, uh, byeeee..wait don't actually go...]

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking outside of the box.