KIKIOPE

"Oya, pick the stick you stepped on," Doyin shouted at the junior student who looked so much intimidated by Doyin.

The guys had left for the assembly before us, while going, a junior student had stepped on Doyin and the girl even had the guts not to apologize, so, Doyin pulled her back by the collar of her top.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," she apologised with her eyes still rooted to the floor.

"How would you know? Blind bat," Bimpe said.

"Next time, behave yourself, let's go jare," Doyin concluded, and we left the girl heading towards the assembly.

Immediately we got to the assembly, it started fully, minutes later, the seniors were to present their speech but many of them ended up stuttering and getting flogged while one even ran away.

"Inter house sports practice will be starting soon and the fields aren't cleared yet, so, each student is  to pay ₦50 to their class captain for the mower," Mr. Nala announced and the whole school groaned and everywhere turned upside down, we've been paying for mower ever since I got admitted into JANU, yet we still cut grass whenever inter house sports  approached.

"Why the noise? On your knees everybody!" He bellowed and we obeyed only to he released minutes later when the Principal arrived, after the principal's speech we were dismissed.

"Class, start paying your money for mower oo," one of the ADS patient, Precious shouted.

"Are you the class captain?" Choki responded, she turned to him and eyed him before replying.

"Longwire instructed me to collect it, so, start paying, you have till tomorrow unless you want to cut grass ooo," she warned.

"Paaya nii," Bimpe and I shouted in unison, we glanced at each other and bursted into laughter.

"Nobody is forcing anyone to pay, just know that I'll keep records of those that paid."

"O jeebi," Bimpe interjected.

"Leave them jare, if they like they should pay or not, it's their problem," Bella told Precious.

"Whose problem?" I questioned.

"Did I mention your name?" Bella replied with a pout.

"You wouldn't dare."

She wanted to reply but the appearance of our Economics teacher stopped her. Oh my goodness, God, why? Why? Why do we have to do this boring subject first thing on a Thursday morning? Certainly, the whole day would be more than boring.

"Class, greet!" Longwire shouted and we all obeyed.

"Where did we stop last class?" She asked while dropping her stuffs on the teacher's table. No one responded her.

"Are you deaf?"  She thundered.

"Ma, it's Money," the ADS patients shouted.

She nodded before talking, "So, they are the only students in this class abi?"

Apparently, we don't want you, you're too boring and stupid.

"Hais, Mrs. Woman, wake that idiot beside you," she instructed Big show who turned to wake Oju igo.

After several attempts to wake her, she finally woke up.

"Stand up!" She bawled and Oju Igo quickly sprawled to her feet.

"Why are you sleeping in my class? Early in the morning, were you bitten by tsetse fly or did you feed your baby throughout the night?"

Oju Igo shook her head in response.

"You can't talk abi," Bella shouted while Oju Igo eyed her.

"This girl is getting more foolish day by day," Bimpe told me and I nodded in agreement.

"Now, tell me, what is your problem? You're always sleeping, are you pregnant?"

The whole class roared at this. Truly, Oju Igo always slept throughout the class most times, many teachers had asked her the same questions our Economics teacher had asked.

"No, ma," she replied.

"That's how they'll be saying, do you know one of your junior ones is pregnant in SS1?"

"Yeh!" The whole class shouted while whispering to one another.

"When did that one happen?" Abimbola turned to me and I eyed her.

"Are you asking me that?"

She glared at me before turning to Nnena.

"But, who could that be?" Bimpe asked.

"I don't know oo, we must find out," I replied, and we did, just like the antennas and information officers we were, we eventually found out who was pregnant among the SS1 student, it was a very huge and fat girl who looked so much older than her age, the topic soon became the hot news around the school, eventually, she was expelled.

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"If you know you aren't offering my subject, get out of my class this instant!" Geography teacher popularly known as holy holy shouted. That woman can pretend ehn, she'll be doing as if she's holy Mary, always monitoring students around, preaching and doing all manners of things but rumours had it that she was dating our vice principal.

Can you imagine? Upon all her stupid holiness, and the stupid woman is married with kids oo, yet she's dating our vice principal who was also married, and she'll still be doing like saint. The only word that could describe her is sanctimonious nothing more. She doesn't even relate with other teachers in school except Ọyọndẹkun and Iya Ìbón. Birds of a feather.

"Are you deaf?" She yelled, and we Home management students walked out of the class heading to the Home management lab.

"That geography teacher gan is something else," Bimpe started while we were going.

"Abi oo, and she'll be doing as if her head is there," I replied.

"I even hate pretenders like her, hey, see Doyin."

I trailed her hand and Doyin waved at us with a smile, they were also going to one of their science lab dressed in their lab coats, that lab coat ehn, science students do use it to do one stupid ako and it's not like all of them will eventually wear it when they grow up oo.

"Not all of them will become doctors oo and they're already feeling on top of the world," Bimpe pointed out when the science students entered their chemistry lab.

"Abi oo, there are still some that will end up as drivers and gateman gan," I added and Bimpe laughed.

Couple of minutes later, we got to the lab and our teacher wasn't around judging by the locked padlock on the door, we'd actually finished the scheme of work for the term, so, we had to go back to our class.

"As you're entering my class, just shut your mouth, we don't make noise and you can see I'm dictating the note for them," Holy holy said after much plea to allow us enter the class, actually, she didn't listen to our plea claiming we were going to disrupt our class but Bimpe sighted the Vice principal in Brown class, so, she tapped me, and we both called his attention. One word from him, and she allowed us to enter the class.

While others kept quiet, Bimpe and I didn't listen but rather kept on talking to the extent that we even laughed out loudly.

"Kikiope, Bimpe, stand up!" She yelled and we obeyed. Well, every teacher and everyone knew the name of we JANU Icons.

"I remember telling you guys to not disturb my class," she started.

"You didn't tell Kikiope and I," Bimpe responded with a smirk and I chuckled.

"So, you expect me to specifically tell you abi, because you own the school right, any way, the two of you should come and kneel down here."

"Ma?" We both said in unison.

"You heard me clearly."

"Ma, doctor told me to stop kneeling down, more so on a cold floor," I replied with a tugging smile. Me that I can't remember the last time I met with a doctor.

"I'm sorry ma, but I can't kneel down," Bimpe told her, and she dropped her book on her table to clap.

"Are you telling me that nonsense? You these children are just so spoilt, you didn't read it in your Bible that you should respect your teachers and obey them, ehn?"

"Ma, we're Muslims," Bimpe and I said in unison which in turn made us burst into laughter.

"Muslims? Are you alright? Aren't you chapel ex-co?"

"We are," we both replied. Bimpe, Doyin and I were chapel ex-cos while the guys were Muslims.

"Then, why are you telling me you're Muslims? Is something wrong with you?"

"We are planning to convert ma," we replied simultaneously yet again, we'll just frustrate this woman to death today.

"Planning to convert? Is anything wrong? Why? What happened? Are you doubting Jesus? Don't you know he died for your sins?" Her voice reduced to calm one, this woman has started preaching again ooo.

I cut in, "We are not converting, it was only a joke."

"So, you were joking with me, get out of my class!" She roared.

"Ma, be careful, there's something called vocal cord cancer," Bimpe pointed out and the whole class grumbled.

"Get out!" She barked, and we both walked out of the class majestically.

Later in the day, we'd just finished our lunch of Chips and Caprisonne that Khalid brought, his mom had brought the chips from wherever she travelled to, since Tuesday Khalid had been bringing chocolates, French fries and Chips, and we all took it as our lunch.

The timekeeper walked up to the bell which was somehow near to our rendezvous.

"Is it time nii?" Kunmi asked the timekeeper who nodded in return.

"Don't allow that bell to make one stupid noise ooo," Abee warned and the timekeeper nodded but it ended up making a deafening noise.

"What gan?" Doyin shouted and the time keeper quickly quickened his pace.

Students ran to the Fellowship hall, mosques and those who were not religious ran to their classes while we still stayed at our spot talking until we sighted Mr. Stone with his cane running toward us, his real surname is actually Stone so, we didn't give him the name but it suited him perfectly Sha. He was one of those Maths teacher who always believed they were good and talented at flogging students.

It wasn't until he got closer to us that we stood up and scampered away while he kept on shouting, "Please, don't bob," behind us.

"Please, don't bob, please don't bob," he ran after Kunmi and Abee who were now using him to play game while Bimpe and I laughed until we got to our class.

"Imagine, why would he keep begging students not to run away," Bimpe said as she brought out our Bible and jotter.

"When, it's not as if we're daft like him, he expects us to listen to his please don't bob," I made an air quote at the latter statement before continuing, "Like, why would he beg us to wait so he could beat us?" I asked rhetorically while picking the fellowship study guide from my bag.

"He's such a weirdo, please don't bob," she jested and we both laughed before going for fellowship.

Thanks for reading.
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