Cian

There was one place I always went when I needed to be alone. It had a view of the bay, and was close enough to it that the smell of seawater wafted through the air. Its high elevation not only helped my vantage point of the activity below me, but simultaneously created a quiet, almost solitary place, somewhere I could clear my head amidst the calls of seagulls and the crash of the waves on the shore. It was the roof outside my bedroom, and easily accessed: a flip of the window lock, a good shove upwards, and a nimble climb over my desk was all it took.

The breeze from the bay nipped at my light jacket and wrinkled the jeans I wore. I could feel it on my skin, a cold and light kiss on the inside of my wrist. With a sigh, I buried my face in my knees. I couldn't shake the look on Lucie's face from my stubborn brain.

I didn't know what to do.

I liked the way Lucie looked when she was smiling, when she was happy, and I had just taken that all away. I consoled myself by allowing myself to believe it was better that I'd told her the truth, but it didn't matter in the end. What mattered now was that Lucie would likely never to speak to me again, and she had every reason not to.

Something hummed beneath my shoulder blades, and too tired to fight it, I let it go. My wings unfurled from underneath my skin like caged birds freshly freed. This was another plus of being alone; I could be myself, stop hiding what made me me.

Enough time had passed that I no longer remembered what it had been like when I wasn't an angel, when I didn't have wings to carry me and draw power from. I sighed again into the salty air and encircled my wings around myself like a cloak. He's dead. There's nothing else you can do, Cian. He's dead.

That wasn't it, though, was it? I'd grabbed Lucie's wrist, and I'd seen something, something out of place. A scar ran to her inner elbow, puffy and pink, as if the injury had happened recently. Maybe it was nothing, but as I sat there in the darkness my wings had created, I doubted it. There was more to this, more to her, more to everything.

"Cian, stop being emo."

I recognized the voice, and let my wings flutter back to see better. Vinny was seating himself beside me on the roof, and so my alone time was therefore over, and I should have expected as much. When you had a fixed place you liked to be, it didn't take long for other people to figure it out.

My little brother looked at me, his hair like spun gold. Despite the breeze, it didn't move about his face as mine did. "Any reason you're hanging out here and not in the living room?" he exhaled. "I tried to get Mom and Dad to change the TV channel, but they freaked out when I started pushing buttons on the remote. Interesting factoid, actually: We no longer have a television remote."

I glanced at him with a risen eyebrow. "What?"

Vinny's smile was rueful. "Mom screamed and chucked it across the room. It broke in half and Dad cursed for about five minutes straight."

"Hmm," I said, and laid my head down on my folded arms, gnawing at my sleeve. "That sucks."

"Answer my question," urged Vinny, turning his whole body to face me. The breeze blew by again, and the coldness Vinny's presence brought along with it made me shiver. "What are you doing out here? Is something bothering you? Something looks like it's bothering you."

"I'm fine, Vince."

"Don't give me all that gobbledygook," Vinny replied, and this time the look I gave him was of mild amusement. He rolled his eyes at me and directed his gaze toward the bay. "You only come here when something's bothering you. Not to mention you're being oddly quiet and you have your wings out."

Vinny was looking at them warily. I ruffled the feathers with a sly grin. "So what if I have my wings out?"

"You don't bother to fight them when you're tired. In conclusion, shut up and tell me what's on your mind."

"Which? I can't do both at the same time."

Vinny's eyes narrowed. "Cian Horne, I hate you and you know what I meant. Just tell me. I already know it's about Lucie, anyway."

I sputtered, my face warming. Aware I was blushing and hating myself for it, I hastily flipped up my hood and hid my face from him. "What makes you think that?"

"Cian."

I could tell by the way he deliberately pronounced each syllable that I could no longer hesitate. I just closed my hood around my face, far enough that only my nose was visible, and muttered, "Fine. I...I feel bad. I mean, Vinny, you didn't see the look on her face when I told her. It broke my heart, but not nearly as much as it broke hers, I'm sure."

"You can't control that, so there's no sense in feeling bad about it," Vinny said. "Least we tried."

"Vinny."

The sharpness of my voice drew his eyes towards me, and I stared at him, no longer caring that I looked feverish. Even upon seeing the color to my cheeks, Vinny's expression didn't change. He knew I was serious. "You're not giving up, are you?"

He shrugged, getting to his feet. "There's nothing else we can do, can we? We tried. They'll probably find his body soon. It's not our responsibility anymore, Cian."

"Vinny!" I hopped up, and now that I was standing, realized I was more conspicuous, so let my wings retract, rolling my shoulder blades back. In my haste, my hood flipped back from my face, revealing the fullness of my upset. "We can't just give up on her like that! The fact that they haven't found his body means there's something more to this, and we told her we'd help, so we're going to figure out what this something is." I stood my ground, fisting my hands. "I don't know about you, but I'm not done yet, and I won't be until Lucie and her family's gotten justice."

Vinny's surprised expression was evanescent; soon, it gave way to smugness, a smirk growing on his face. He crossed his arms, mirth growing in his eyes. "I knew you'd say that."

My posture loosened, but my eyes were daggers. "What?"

"I knew you'd say that," he repeated. "Of course I'm not giving up. I just wanted to hear you say that. It proves something I already knew, anyway."

My hands were trembling. Damn you, Vinny, I thought, toying with me. He was the only person capable of doing that. He could manipulate what came out of my mouth without my knowledge, and sometimes it annoyed me. It was like he knew what I was feeling before even I did. "And what might that be?" I hissed into the thin air.

Vinny's pale eyes were earnest. "You like her. You won't admit it to yourself, but you care about Lucie, otherwise this wouldn't be such a big deal to you."

I bit my lip. "That's not true. It's not like that."

Vinny shook his head, which only raised my frustration. He was younger than me, yet he was acting wise? He didn't know anything, anyway. It wasn't like that. I'd said it before. I wasn't doing this because I liked her. "Sure it isn't, Cian. Sure it isn't."

"Vince—"

"Moving on. Since you're continuing the investigation," Vinny said, as his smile vanished, "I have a recommendation. It may be a shot in the dark, but I'm figuring it's worth a try."

I just lent him an expectant stare, silently urging him to go on.

Vinny went back inside my bedroom, gliding over the desk and taking a seat on my bed. I clambered in after him, pulling the window shut behind me. I perched myself on the edge of my desk, my feet in my desk chair. "Doesn't matter if it's a shot in the dark. At least it's a shot at all," I replied, draping my arms across my knees. "Spit it out."

"The body we found," Vinny told me after a beat, as if he hadn't been sure whether to bring this up or not. The words brought me back to last week, standing in the dead man's faded yellow kitchen, examining his body. I saw the bloody message on the tile floor: Tis starving that makes it fat. "It was weird, wasn't it?"

"Sure," I said, "but weird murders are almost customary, what with all the psychopaths running around. What's this have to do with Dempsey? We don't have a body. We can't say he died the same way, and that message was nowhere near where he died."

"I know," Vinny said. "The link between the two things isn't certain, but one thing is: It's too many strange things at once. Dempsey. Caden. The dead guy. Even the fact Lucie can suddenly see me. I think it's worth looking at, right? Like maybe the murder is somehow tied with..." He trailed off with a shake of his head. "I don't know."

"No, Vinny, it's a start," I muttered, a hand to my chin. I popped up, starting to pace across the wood expanse of my bedroom floor. The blinds of my window cast rectangular shadows where my feet fell, the ceiling fan whooshing rhythmically above me. "Caden and Dempsey died the same night, but Caden's body was found and Dempsey's wasn't," I paused. "After that, the rich guy was murdered."

"You don't think Dempsey's behind the murder somehow, do you?" Vinny looked up in alarm, voice trembling. "But he's dead. Like, dead as I am."

"I know," I breathed, shaking my head at the ground. My temples were throbbing. "I'll...I'll find the angel who took care of the murdered man's soul, and I'll talk to her. Should be easy, right? There's only one other angel of death that works our area, anyway."
"Really?" Vinny inquired. "I'd think there'd be more angels around."

"Well, there are, they're just not angels of death," I said, glancing at him. I forced myself to stop pacing, which took some effort. "Some are guardian angels and such. But tracking down this girl should be easy. I've met her before."

Vinny nodded in agreement, but then he looked keenly at me. His tone had sobered. "Cian. You'd better tell Lucie about this. We can't keep her in the dark."

"No!" I yelped before I could stop myself, thinking of the unshed tears in her eyes, the quivering of her lips. Her lips... "We're not telling Lucie, no way in he—heck. If she gets her hopes up and this proves to be another dead end, I won't be able to stand the look on her face."

I turned away from Vinny, resting my hands on my desk and dropping my head. I listened for a moment to each breath as it left my mouth, wondered how I'd gotten here, why I was breathing when someone as innocent as Lucie's brother wasn't. I was ice cold and burning hot, all at once. "I can't hurt her again," I murmured. "It's best if she doesn't know, at least until we find a solid lead. Okay, Vinny?"

He sounded dubious. "Okay."