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Shame


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***Sebastian's POV***

Mark's body language shows exhaustion. A million wild emotions run through his crystal blue eyes. Pain and shame seem most dominant to me. It's tugs at my soul to see him so lost.

As he leans against the balcony, I just want to hold him. Not now. He wants to talk. I want to listen. I could tell over the past few days that he had been struggling with something. I'm ready to know what it is so that I can ease his burden.

"I lied to you." Mark breathes deeply. I don't flinch. I had lied to him as well, by omission.

It's something we just will have to work through.

Grey holds Mak in his lap and smiles softly, encouragingly at the love of my life.

A small nod of Mark's head signals he's ready to begin.

"My family isn't exactly how I portrayed them. The characters are all the same. Mother, Father, Sister that was true. She is in college." Mark wrings his hands before pushing them behind his back. His fingers begin gripping the metal railing with more strength than necessary. His knuckles protest as they turn an angry shade of red.

"The truth is, we're not close. At all. I don't even see them. We don't talk." Mark looks like that one admission is more than he wanted to share.

I continue focusing all my attention on him. If this is hard for him, which obviously it is, I don't want to exacerbate the pain. He's mine to protect.

"We were. Up until college, we were super close. All those stories I told, they were from the time before my life spiraled." Mark doesn't look up for quite a few minutes. When he does, sad tears fill his orbs.

"What happened?" Mak gives a soft plea. Mark looks to each of us. I smile comfortingly towards him, knowing that he is struggling.

"Home from College, I had met someone. I thought that it might work out into something I could build into a dream. It was new, exciting. I was so ready to let them meet my parents. It never crossed my mind that I wasn't allowed to bring them home. So, I did." Mark looks directly at me with a sad plea.

I really have a feeling I'm about to get angry. I can feel the familiar emotion bubbling.

"She was amazing. Smart. Gorgeous and absolutely perfect. Her smile could bring a thousand angels calling. Her name was Mellison. I called her Mel for short." I'm really confused at this point. I thought for sure this would be his coming out story.

Until I remember that I am the key plot in that one.

"Mellison had rich chocolate skin. Her eyes were so yellow they practically shown gold. She had silky black hair that cascaded over her shoulders. The strands landed just above her jeans. Her cheek bones were so high that her bottom lashes would brush against them as she smiled. She was a beauty of a woman if I ever saw one."

Mark's voice is captivated. If I didn't know he was mine already, I would be a bit jealous.

"I had never known prejudice. I had African American friends and any other nationality that you could think of. They were always in and out of my family home in high school. Color never seemed like like an issue. Until I fell for someone of a darker skin tone."

Mark looks at me apologetically. He is carrying a burden that is not even his. You aren't what your parents are. You can't control how they react.

"Walking in, I was blissfully unaware of the conversation silently taking place. My Dad gritted a smile through his teeth. My mother hesitantly reached out a hand. I only saw the signs in hind sight. In the moment, I was so cocooned in my elation, I didn't notice the behaviors.

Macy was just Macy. Always bubbly, always welcoming, she hugged Mel with a warm embrace. We followed my parents into the living room and sat down. Mellison sat beside me. I could physically feel her tension. She was uncomfortable. I should have walked away in that moment. But I didn't.

We stayed the duration of our visit, eating and talking. Every conversation was generic. All topics shied clearly away from the center of my attention. It was as if she were merely an unwanted picture in the room. Once again hind sight." Mark pushes his hands over his face. Clearly reliving the embarrassment was more than he cared to bare. Yet, all the same, he was exposing a darkness that he knew I would relate to. I did.

"She left that day. Never returning. We passed in hallways. She would turn her back to me as if I was nothing to look at. It hurt. Not knowing, then, was the part that hurt. I was ready to ask her to be mine. My full intentions were to date her. I had prayed it worked out into a future. That didn't happen. I wanted to know why." Mark stands straight and crosses his arms. Anger replaces the sadness. The shift in emotions creates a thick tension.

"I went home the next weekend, fully intent on finding out why my relationship had fallen apart before I even had a chance to fuck it up." Mark chuckles darkly. His mask falls. I can see the sea of red as it rolls over him.

"Do you know what happened? Of course you don't." Mark waves his hand in the air, dismissively.

"They had cornered her. At a point where I was outside with Macy, a brief few minutes so she could take in a hit of her precious cancer sticks, they attacked.

Mel didn't explain. She didn't even inform me. I just found out as I stormed my way into my family home and demanded answers. The racism, hatred and idiocy was new to me. I would have never thought. In all my years I never knew such blind hatred. We argued and fought. I threw things. Everything I could touch, went sailing. I let anger and rage take over. I was mad as hell. They quite literally judged her purely on the tone of her skin. Nevermind the fact that she was way out of my league, just color is what they saw. That's all it boiled down to.

No grandchild of mine will share THAT pigmentation.

What will others think?

How could you?

Did you even think about our reputation?

A colored person dating our son?

Every word revolved around something she didn't choose. Not that I'm insinuating she would or should choose differently. I'm not prejudice. Either you're a good person or you aren't. Period. But that is all they saw. Their primary focus was on heritage, opinions and nothing based on the happiness of their child or the quality of person whom I had brought home." Mark opens his arms to me. I quickly land in his embrace.

"My beautiful Mark. So incredible." I kiss his head. I pull back to watch him just in case he isn't finished. He continues.

"They threatened her with lies. My parents her foolish ultimatums. She agreed not to see me as long as they didn't take from me my education. Which, by the way, they did anyway. They cut me off and kicked me out. I haven't spoken to any of them since. Not even Macy. I miss her.

Mel eventually graduated and became a doctor. She moved to another country to work with the underprivileged. She got married. She had a beautiful bi-racial family. I was bitter. They took a future I might have had.

In the end it all worked out. That doesn't change anything. They showed a side I wasn't willing to enable. Monsters, both of them are monsters. It's not right." I hold Mark close as his secret disappears. His mood is replaced by sadness. Deep within his form you could feel the weight of his parents choice. It was not his. That's all that matters. He is a good person. He's my person.

"Thank you." I whisper. I know it's not easy to tell your mixed boyfriend that your family is racist. It can't be.

"I'm sorry." Mark looks to me as if he actually needs my forgiveness. He doesn't.

"I don't ever want to meet them. Thank you for protecting me. Let me protect you." I thread my fingers through his hair and kiss him gently. He's an amazing guy. He is my guy.

"Mark. I can't believe you only just got that out. What a horrible secret to have to keep." Mak stands and burrows his nose into Mark's side. He hugs us both with a grip that could be painful if it wasn't so full of love.

"I was embarrassed." Mark whispers the words. He shouldn't be.

"You aren't them. They are disgusting. You're heart is gold. You don't treat others differently for things they have no control over. Let it go." Grey covers our threesome with his large arms. We just encompass the man, who holds my heart, with love. He deserves that.

"Well, cross that family reunion off my bucket list. The only one that matters is already here." Mak untangles himself. He grabs Mark's hand.

"Enough with that. Let's move on. They aren't worth it." Mak leads us into the house.

"So, Mama Angie sent me food." Mak turns with a wicked smile. He dashes towards the table. He uncovers the food and moans. That boy. I swear.

"Save my moans for later." Grey pushes Mak playfully while reaching out for his plate.

As they eat, I can tell they are in a blissful state of euphoria. Ma really can cook.

Mark pulls me to his lap. He wraps his arms around me. He pushes his chin into my neck. Mark pecks his lips against my jaw line.

"You're not mad?" Mark's voice is still too quiet.

"You didn't want to lie. We were strangers." I admit. It's true. He told me enough. Just, he left out important details. But, they are out now. I'm glad I know.

"If they weren't complete shit, you would have met them already." Mark smiles at me.

"So, how did you finish college?" I stare at him intently.

"Daddy Parker and Amelia paid my way. I was always their second son." Mark smiles genuinely.

"Then apparently, I have met your parents. Parents aren't just blood. It's whoever loves you with a real interest in the person you become. I love your family. Their mine now. No backies." I chuckle.

"Yeah. You're right." Mark playfully tussles my curly hair.

"Oh. I almost forgot." Mark pushes me up. He sits me back down in his warm spot. He runs into the kitchen and grabs two waters. He hands me one before perching far away from me at the breakfast bar.

"What's that?" Grey looks at Mark with curiosity.

"You would not believe the photos of Seb I was shown." I groan and hide my face. He wasn't gonna let that shit slide.

"How bad? Scale of one to ten?" Grey chuckles. He continues eating his friend chicken while smiling at me with his eyes.

"Scale of Screech to Gumby." Mark guffaws. Grey spits his food across the table.

"That's so gross." I mumble.

"Fuck. I want to see. When are we going over?" Grey is chuckling his ass off between each words he speaks. Mak just rolls his eyes. The kid can play sweet all he wants. I know for a fact his ass is going to be laughing when he gets to see it.

"No need." Mark waves his hands in front of his face. The true beauty of his features shine. His eyes crinkle as the laughter starts bubbling up.

Mark slides his phone to Grey. Mak looks over Grey's shoulder. I cringe. Three. Two. One.

The roar of laughter is so loud I think I may implode from embarrassment.

"The Sebastian Royal." Mak giggles. He holds his hand over his mouth. I know. It's bad. I was that kid.

"Seb how did you get so big? I mean before. You were my size." Grey shovels food in his mouth between laughing and commenting.

"Exercise." I shrug.

"Push ups!" Mark laughs before bouncing over to me. He laughs as he kisses me.

"Why am I with you?" I roll my damn eyes.

"Cause you love me." Mark paws at my face with his warm hands.

"I'm rethinking that." I lie.

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