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***Sebastian's POV***

God, if I knew it would be this hard. I may have enlisted someone to comfort me. My body aches. My bones throb. I feel weak. Helpless. I feel fucking helpless.

Day eight is the worst yet. Everything is crashing around me and I feel like I'm drowning. My movements are slow. My joints protest my morning walk to the toilet. Throwing up has burned my esophagus. Eating has become a regretful chore.

I lay in the hospital bed as the nurses pump me full of fluids. After collapsing on the way in the door, a wheelchair was gifted to me. I'm officially a god damned patient. I hate this. I fucking detest this.

I rub my head tiredly when another set of pills is set in front of me. I throw back the medication and gulp down the water that accompanies my morning routine.

I try to will myself to smile. I don't want to be that person who is angry at the world. It's just so damned hard not to blame the healthy people who surround you. I won't though. I'm not that person.

Shaking my ailing thoughts, I half smile at the nurse and thank her for her care. I pick up the New York Times on my tablet. I read carefully, searching for any hint at my lost love connection.

My eyes grow wide when an interview with Mak is plastered across the third page of the screen.

Makil Oliver, local genius, leads police to business tycoon Carl Lunger...

My interest is immediately peaked and I delve into the full length story.

My heart aches by the end of the feature. Mak was a victim. He sacrificed himself to save others. What a fucking gem.

God, I miss my friends.

Mark is mentioned in passing. But, the most heart wrenching part is Grey thinking Mak had been shot. God. I would lose my shit.

Thankfully, the author updated that everything is fine. Carl was arrested and is awaiting trial. Mak made a full recovery.

Thank God!

Growing tired, I lay my head back and rest my weary eyes. Seven more weeks. I just have to deal with this for 52 more days. I pray that's all. I just can't see myself taking the solitude for so long.

I shift to my side and stare blankly at the cream walls of the hospital room.

They could at least put pictures up.

My back aches moments after I settle into the new position. I just sigh and pull the covers around me. I close my eyes again and focus on the sound of the machines.

If it were any less entertaining, I would swear I was watching a political convention.

I hear foot steps and creak my eyes open to search for the intruder.

"Sebastian, you have a visitor." The sweet nurse informs me.

I don't bother sitting up. I'm too exhausted to fucking care.

My manager, Alex, stands in front of me and takes the seat offered to him by the nurse.

"How you holding up, buddy?" Alex asks. He looks tired and I know the feeling.

"I'm still fighting." I speak slowly.

"How's the pain?" Alex questions. He rubs my thumb soothingly.

"It's bearable. The pain meds help." I answer honestly.

"Need anything?" He continues his line of questioning.

"A cure." I smile ruefully at my friend.

"That's what this is all about." Alex promises. He pats my shoulder and stands.

"Anything going on?" I ask.

"Not much. The catwalk misses you. I said you were on an extended vacation." Alex laughs lightly. I don't miss the irony of his explanation.

"Whatever you have to say is fine. Just don't let it leak. I don't need pity." I close my eyes and beg the tears to stay at bay.

Why add more pity on top of the self pity that fills me all day?

"You know you're gonna get better? Right? You have to. Remember that guy you talk about all the time? Mark? Yeah, him. He sent a private investigator to find you. Or, at least someone did. You haven't been forgotten, Seb. He wants you. Don't be selfish. Give the man what he wants. Get better, find him and take him. Promise me you will do that." Alex looks down on me and the tears don't bother obeying my wishes. They slide warmly down my cheeks. The thought of Mark looking for me is enough to break me and build me back up.

I nod as Alex wipes the release from my eyes. He leans down and kisses the top of my head.

"For Mark." Alex whispers.

"For us." I reply.

"If you need anything, I don't give a fuck the time, you call. I will get you coffee. I will read you a fucking story. Just call. I will be here." Alex looks at me seriously and I nod in confirmation.

"I love you Seb. You're like my closest friend. Don't leave me." Alex whispers.

My eyes drift as they become too heavy to open again. My heart evens and my breath sounds like a soft hum.

I feel the pain meds slipping into my system and I relinquish my body to the fatigue.

I count slowly from one hundred, knowing I won't make it to one. My body will take me to the land of dreams.

Hopefully, I meet Mark there.

<<<<<<<<<<

I groggily stir from my slumber. My eyes adjust slowly to the bright light emitting from the fluorescent bulbs in the room. I shift in the bed and remember where I am.

Ugh. My dream was so much more inviting.

The nurses shuffle around my room. They move me and lift my bed into a sitting position.

"Sorry to wake you Mr. Royals. You haven't eaten much. We were hoping you would try." The male nurse pats my hand softly. I smile weakly and lay my head against my pillow.

"On a scale of one to ten, where is your pain level?" He asks.

I think for a second, letting my pain receptors relay my discomfort to my brain. "Five." I rasp out.

"You have an hour until your pump goes off. If you get to an eight, push the call button. I will leave you to your lunch." With that, he softly closes the door behind him as he exits my room.

I lift the lid from my plate and I am pleasantly surprised. Alex must have arranged for a different food venue. I smile thinking of the caring gesture.

I pick up my fork and twirl my Alfredo around until I have a healthy bite. I moan lowly as the creamy sauce passes my lips and scorches my tongue. It's delicious.

I pick up the remote and turn the tv on. I flip thru the channels and stop on Say Yes to the Dress. I love the host. He is too much.

I watch a whole episode while eating the pasta on my plate. I drink the water slowly, praying not to get sick. After a few minutes, I lay back and prop my hands behind my head.

It's boring, but for Mark, it's worth it.

I smile thinking about the most beautiful pair of blue eyes I ever saw. His pink lips dance before my vision. Yeah, that's a show worth watching. That smile could light the dark sky.

My heart beats a little harder thinking of the handsome man. One day, he will be mine. I make that promise to myself once again.

I drift in and out of slumber while waiting on the pain to subside. I hear the nurses working in circles around me. I don't bother to move or acknowledge their presence. I'm not needed in this moment.

I'm okay with that.

I hear the buttons on my machines being pushed. The warm medicine seeps into my veins and I sigh a contented sound. Soon, I won't feel much. That's worth celebrating.

My head starts to loop, making small pictures that I am too tired to decipher. I feel the heaviness settle in around me.

How can I be so tired after just waking up?

I move slowly to my side and tuck my hands under my cheek. The covers get tucked around me and I wince when the blood pressure cuff starts squeezing my arm.

"How's that pain?" A soft voice questions.

"I'm okay." I whisper.

"I know." The sweet voice lulls me deeper into the land of nothingness.

"After your nap, we are going to run some tests." That same voice speaks lowly.

"Okay, mom." I whimper.

"Oh yeah, you're okay." I almost hear a giggle.

"Nite ma. Love you." I whisper in a barely audible tone.

"It's okay honey. Just sleep." The sweet hands that rub my back make me melt into my bed sheets.

I love it when Ma rubs my back.

My heart fills with warmth at the presence.

I softly tumble towards the darkness.

"He's a bit out of it." I swear I hear.

"Let him sleep. He has a lot to deal with it. Come on." She whispers.

"Don't go." I mumble towards the wall.

Immediately a petite hand is gripped between my fingers. I give it a small squeeze and smile thru my slowly gaze.

"I won't leave." She promises.

"Thank you." With that everything goes dark.

"Mama, mama mama?" I run towards my mom while she stands at the back door.

I latch my hands around her knees and hug her tight.

"What's up Sebby?" Mama squats down and clasps her soft hands around my tiny face.

"I found a butterfly." I whisper to my mama.

"You didn't touch it did you? It will die if you did." My mama warns me softly.

"No, mama. I didn't. I saw it and I thought of you." I blink rapidly as the sun beams into my eyes.

"Why would you think of me, sweetheart?" My mom questions me with a sweet smile.

"It was beautiful. It flew around and the wind picked it up and moved it away. But, it came back. It was there every time I thought I lost it. Just like you mama. You never leave. You stay." I nod my head. My mama is the best mommy. She is always there especially when I need her.

"I will always be right here. I'm never going to leave you baby." My mama places a kiss on my cheek and smiles kindly towards me.

"That's what makes you beautiful." I tell her.

"What's that baby?" Mama asks me.

"You always know the right things. You're so smart." I squeeze her neck and fall into her loving arms.

"One day, you will be just as smart as me." Mama whispers.

"Impossible. You're the smartest person I know." I grab mama's hand and lead her back into the house.

"And you're the sweetest person I know." Mama winks at me. My heart beats hard and I feel little butterfly wings in my chest.

"Daddy says I get that from you." I giggle when mama lifts me up and swings me around.

"I love you Sebastian. Never change." Mama tells me.

"I love you too mama. I love you this much." I stretch my arms out wide. It's not enough but, it's all I got. I'm not big enough to show her how much I really love her.

"That's exactly how much love I need." Mama strokes her thumb across my cheek.

"Me and you mama." I make the promise like I always do.

"Me and you, against the world." Mama puts her forehead down on mine.

"Against the universe." I kick my legs happily as I think of that.

Me and mama against the universe.

Waking up, once again, my dream reminds me of something.

I don't have to do this alone.

I reach for my phone and scroll thru my text messages.

Me: Mama, remember when you said it's me and you against the world.

I wait for her reply. My fingers tapping against the sides of my phone case.

Superwoman (mama): yes, baby. Always.

Me: Mama, I need you.

Superwoman: I know.

Me: How?

Superwoman: I'm the smartest person you know.

Me: I will have your ticket at the airport.

Superwoman: I'm on my way.

Me: I love you.

Superwoman: I love you Sebby. I will be there before you know it.

Me: Be safe.

Superwoman: Always.

I smile as I turn my screen off. Yeah, sometimes, you just need your mama.