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***Mark's POV***

"I'm sorry." The words fall easily from my trembling lips. Sebastian quakes in my arms while I try to secure the jacket I brought him to his shoulders.

"Stop apologizing." Seb gives me the saddest eyes I have ever witnessed. My heart fractures upon sight. I wish these bad days never came. They do. They always do.

Sebastian accepts my hand while I gently pull him up from the bed. He is fully dressed, ready for the emergency doctor's appointment that has derailed our morning together. I help him across the room to get out to the car.

Getting Seb situated in the car is easy. He has no problem sitting in these moments. It's getting up that causes his face to contort with pain. I softly close his door before getting to my side to drive us towards his specialist.

Everyday isn't a good one. We have had many that would be deemed enough to give up. Today is one of those days. After waking up to my boyfriend frantically writhing in bed, I knew the day that we would face.

Seb is covered in a light sheen of sweat. His skin is ashen. His eyes look more tired than usual. We will be up to our elbows in nurses in no time. It's par for the course. I don't mind being here every step of the way.

Immediately upon entering the office, we are taken back. Money talks. There is plenty of that, thank God. I sign the forms that are necessary as the nurses begin getting my Seb hooked up. It's plasma. He needs it, badly. His levels have most likely dropped making him susceptible to infection. Immune Compromised is the term. He is at risk to anything and from everyone. Our diligence is what keeps him safe.

Dr. Parsons greets us with a smile. His presence is both welcomed and enjoyed. The good doctor is always kind, patient and most of all optimistic. Even when he gives us less than stellar news, he finds a way to comfort you in knowledge that makes you see the hope within his words.

"How are we feeling?" Dr. Parson's asks his usual question. It's not at all odd because he is genuinely asking how we both are. For our doctor, Seb and I are both patients. As a unit, we must both feel our best in order to function successfully.

"I'm nervous because Seb is in pain." I point to my boyfriend as he allows the nurses to work him over thoroughly. Seb says nothing, allowing me to be his mouthpiece. I

"Where is the pain Sebastian?" As Dr. Parson's begins to examine Seb, he hands Seb's charts over to the nurse. The physician always gives Seb his full attention. It's one of the things I appreciate most about the health care worker.

"My joints a little. My back is extremely sore, almost tender." Seb accentuates his words by heaving a breath as the doctor's hand lands against his lower right back cavity. I wince knowingly. Flank pain is excruciating. My boyfriend is downplaying the discomfort.

"I need to get a few tests. An x-ray first, followed by an ultrasound. I also need a full blood work-up STAT." Dr. Parson's dismisses the nurses with a forced smile. That one falter in his confidence has my stomach tying anxiously.

"I'm concerned, I won't lie. These episodes have been far less often than expected. However, the seriousness of this one symptom is what has me troubled. Have you been doing more strenuous activities, exercise perhaps?" Dr. Parson's almost pleads with us for a reasonable explanation.

"Therapy. It's grueling." Sebastian sends hope racing through my veins with his epiphany. I smile smuggly with the excuse of his workouts. He will be fine. This is a strained muscle.

Hours go by while I wait impatiently. I am a man. Patience isn't exactly our strong suit. Remembering that little time period where my Sebastian was away, I almost chuckle. Yeah, I have zero patience.

Seb is rolled in and out of the room multiple times. Each time, he looks more drained. His color is far less vibrant than it was when we woke up this morning. That surely isn't saying much. By the time Sebastian is finally left in the room, he is fast asleep.

The soft knock at the door grabs my attention. Looking up, I'm met with dim eyes that reflect my own worry. Mak walks in with Grey trailing behind him. I'm not surprised. We have been texting all morning.

"Anything?" Mak shoots the question towards me. His eyes are on my love. Sebastian rests while I worry. That is the way it needs to be. Seb is the one fighting the battle. I'm just a spectator in the war.

"Soon. I'm a little paranoid at this point. So many dark theories are just racing around up here." I point to my head. Heaving out a small breath, I realize I'm a bit more fearful than I admit.

"It's alright, you know. He will be okay." Grey sits down beside me, immediately he throws his arms around me. I don't mind the comfort. Lord knows I am on the brink of falling apart.

"He has to be, you know? I can't lose him. I just won't." My head shakes with my admission. I really can't exist in a world where Seb doesn't. I mean, I can exist. It just won't be any type of life. How can you flourish without the one person who holds the key to your sanity, your heart? I don't even want to imagine it.

"You won't. Whatever this is, we can fight it. We will win. We told you; you aren't in this alone. If he needs a fucking kidney, we will find it. You know we have a list of bone marrow donors. Not to mention, we have more than enough collateral to pull strings. Just wait for Dr. Parsons." Grey tells me everything I need to hear. I would believe he was pacifying me if I didn't know Grey and Mak. They mean it when they say we will do whatever it takes. That's a solid promise.

Dr. Parsons walks in as if his name being spoken has summoned him. He doesn't look as though he has bad news. I cling to that hope with an iron grip.

"He doesn't have to be awake for this. I can just explain it later, over the phone. It's not bad, but it could be." Dr. Parsons looks over at me knowingly.

"Shoot straight doc." I have little patience for this game, go figure.

"His kidney is under a bit of strain. Anemia has that affect. At this point, the damage is minimal. I would recommend a couple treatments. Nothing invasive, this will be more maintenance than anything. If the problem persists, we may be looking at a transplant. Let's hope it doesn't come to that. I want to go ahead with looking for viable donors as a worse case scenario. The cancer isn't back. This is actually a very normal side effect of the disease itself. This is collateral damage. It's really better than we expected." Dr. Parsons seems way more calm than I feel. This is the love of my life we are talking about. Cutting him open doesn't feel routine to me.

"When do we start?" Grey takes over. For that, I am grateful. I listen dutifully as Grey takes on the responsibility that truly should be my own. Papers are explained, words are defined and procedures are scheduled. All the while, I stare at my best friend in incomprehensible adoration. My eyes drift to Seb.

His sleeping form is only half as beautiful as his awake one. With eyes his eyes closed, you miss the love that shines behind the crystal blue portals into his soul. With lips silenced, you are not a privy to the soul warming words that flow endlessly from his expansive heart. With limbs tucked away, you can't feel his electric touch that brings comfort, passion.

My Seb lays asleep while the next few weeks of his life our mapped out with precision. Forward, backward we go. Two steps forward, one step back is our journey. It's a tough one.

"He can go home now. The platelets and blood should give him initial relief. We are going to keep striding in baby leaps. This is a voyage not a quick trip. Diligence will be our best friend." The parting words of Dr. Parsons are a brief reminder that we knew this would take a while. There is no hope in giving up now.

Seb eventually awakens inside of my car. His eyes lightly flutter. The beauty of his smile lights the flickering flame inside of me. Reaching for his hand, I grab it before slowly bringing his palm to my lips. With a lingering kiss, I make a silent resolution to keep him with me for all the days of our lives.

After a mostly silent ride, we make it back to Grey's house, our house. We get to the living room where I set Seb up with a drink, a blanket and a remote. He is mostly out of it. The ramifications of a spell like this are weakening to his body. He accepts the quiet solitude as I prepare lunch in the kitchen.

"Have you told him?" Soft fingers sink into my skin as Mak presses his palm into my back. I look to the side to watch Mak scoot into my vision.

"No. He hasn't really been alert. I will." I give Mak a gentle smile. I know Seb will do whatever it takes. There is no question in that. I just hate to bring him back to the beginning. It cannot be easy to start somewhat over when we have come so far.

After I plate the grilled cheese and tomato soup, I steady my breathing. My gait is confident but relaxed as I drift into the living room. Seb smiles with wide eyes as his simple lunch is handed over to his eager hands. I love doing the small things that create his big approvals.

"I love you. Thank you." Seb pats the seat beside him that I am already heading towards.

"I love you, baby. I love you so damn much." I kiss his temple while taking my seat. Grey and Mak enter the living room. They place their lunch on the table in front of us, taking a seat on the carpeted floor.

"What did he say?" Seb looks to me for the answer. He does not need to elaborate. I know he is breaching the topic I have pushed at bay.

"You're kidneys are less than perfect, at the moment. Dr. Parsons wants to do a few maintenance treatments. He said this is common. There is nothing to be worried over." I try to be optimistic without showing a crack in my facade.

"Then why are you worried?" Sebastian gives me a chuckle. I guess I can't hide my stress as well as I thought. I know I can't, actually.

"It's just a step backward." I lift my soup to my mouth to keep in the tears that are threatening. I just want to get past the mountains. I want to walk flat terrain in this battle.

"But, it's still two steps forward. Maybe don't stress about the set backs. They are bound to come. We just keep looking forward. It's okay. We knew we weren't skating on smooth ice. Let's just look ahead and move towards the goal. We got this." Seb turns towards me, pulling my lips to his mouth. I sigh into his kiss. He's so right.

I thought I was supposed to be the support system for him. Sebastian keeps me grounded. He is a constant pillar of strength when I cannot find my footing.

"When do we start?" Seb acts as though he is ready to take the bull by the horns. I am not even ready to jump in the pin.

"Tomorrow." I admit. It's short notice. I don't want to circumvent the situation. I want to face it head on with confidence. We're doing this.

"Tomorrow it is. One step closer." Sebastian smiles sweetly. I love him. I love him with every bit of love that I never knew I could hold. He is my world. I just want to do right by him. He deserves that.