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***Sebastian's POV***

"Baby, eat. Please." Mama's soft voice demands me to pick up my fork and make an attempt at my lunch.

Honestly, I am not hungry. Everyday that passes, I feel physically weaker. The treatments break down all of my cells, healthy and sick. My heart hurts so much, I struggle to breathe for the majority of my waking hours.

I don't know how you can miss something so much that you only knew for a short while. The reason is irrelevant. I just do. I miss Mark like the oxygen I struggle to consume.

I slowly lift my fork to my mouth, opening slightly and willing the food to make the final leap into my mouth. When I finally manage to take a bite, I hold back the gag that threatens to expel the unchewed bite from my lips.

"It tastes bad. It's sour. I'm gonna be sick." I explain as I spit the food right back on to the untouched plate.

"That's the medicine. It leaves an aftertaste." Alex pulls the plate away from me sympathetically.

"I'm so done with all of this." I groan, pushing my head farther into the pillow.

"You're doing great sweetie. You are doing so well." Mama coos as her hand gently clasps my own.

"Is that what you guys see? You see me thriving? Because let me let you in on a little secret. I'm not. I'm fucking dying. My heart is hurting. My body fucking hates me. My stomach feels like glass is shredding me from the inside out. Everything fucking HURTS." I scream out. My body echoing my words of pure truth.

"We weren't meaning it like that Seb. Please. We know you are suffering. But, your latest test results are promising. It's working. Dr. Reins says you have far exceeded expectations." Mama explains. I feel slightly better knowing I'm not doing this for fucking nothing.

"Seb, I hate to bring it up." Alex starts.

"Then DON'T." I grit my teeth, not caring what he hates to bring up. Knowing him, he's going to do it anyway.

"It's your heart. Your emotions. You're lonely. You miss Mark. I think finding him will fast track your recovery." Alex doesn't disappoint with his uncanny talent to touch every nerve in my system.

"Well, lets just jump on a fucking plane and I will go get him." I roll my god damned eyes.

If I could, I would. But, I can't. And that just sucks sweaty monkey balls.

"I see you are in a mood this morning." Alex huffs out in false irritation.

"Wanna make me feel better?" I smirk. He's gonna slap me.

"I really do." Alex looks over at me hopefully. I grin sweetly.

"Suck my cock. I haven't been laid in a while. I'm sure I have pent up sexual frustration." I wink at Alex.

I screech whenever Mama's hand slaps my chest and she gives me an incredulous look for my crudeness.

"I was just playing. Gah, mama. That fucking hurt." I whine like a child. Mama raises her hand in warnin for my potty mouth directed at her.

"It's not supposed to feel good." Mama giggles when I stick my tongue out at her.

"You know what would feel good?" I wiggle my eyebrows back at Alex.

"Ow. Stop that." I grimace. Mama wipes her hand off on her lap blanket.

"Stop being a perv." Mama points the pen in her hand at me.

"I need entertainment." I groan.

"You have a tv, guests, a phone and an Ipad. What more could you need?" Mama asks me matter of fact like.

"Mark." I whisper.

"That's what I was saying." Alex throws his hands up in the air.

"Well, then figure out how to get him to me. It's like your dangling a pork chop in front of a dog. Don't talk about it. Get your tight ass in gear and fucking handle it." I throw back.

"Done. Now shut up and eat something. You're annoying." Alex rolls his eyes playfully.

"I swear to God, when I get out of this bed." I warn.

"You will forget by then." Alex chuckles as he dares me to argue.

"Bitch be gone." I wave my hand in the air, holding my hand on my invisible can of thot spray. I imitate covering him in the disappearing chemicals.

"God, I liked you a lot better when you were sleeping." Alex stands up and leaves the room.

"You two are both children. Grow up." Mama giggles.

"Nah. No fun in that." I chuckle and look over at Mama. She is the best. I love her dearly.

The door to my suite opens. A nurse walks in. He's a sight for sore eyes. I make sure to drink in his boy like features. My heart pings as I register that he reminds me of Mak.

I miss Mak too.

"Sebastian. Today we are going to get you some fresh air. We would like it if you tried to walk. But, if you can't, we can wheel you thru the facility and outside to the gardens."

"Sure. What's your name precious?" I ask. The boys light blonde hair covers his green eyes as he leans down to unhook my machines and put them on a mobile stand.

"It's Gavin." The adorable boy whispers. A slight blush touches his cheeks. I hold back the awe.

What a beauty.

"Well Gavin. Lucky for you, I'm in a fantastic mood." I lie.

"Is that so? Well, I guess I am lucky." Gavin smiles sweetly at me.

"Yep." I pop the p.

"Interesting." Gavin giggles.

"How so?" I ask. He lets the rail down on my bed and helps me to my feet. My legs wobble and my big ass form leans against the tiny creature.

"Mr. Alex just warned me you were feisty today." Gavin giggles.

"MR. Alex? Are you shitting me?" I roll my eyes while ma stands to help me straighten on my feet.

"I'm sorry. Mr. Carson." The sweet boy blushes deeper.

"Oooooh. You have a crush." I sing song towards the tiny framed nurse.

"No. I mean. Yes. No. Maybe." Gavin shrugs his small framed shoulders.

"It's okay, I won't tell." I wink at Gavin.

"Let's get you moving, Mr. Royals." Gavin places my hand on the IV stand that has all my meds and pumps hanging from it.

Ma reaches behind me and secures my hospital gown so my ass doesn't shine brightly towards the staff and other patients.

"Thank you." I whisper.

Ma holds her hand on the small of my back, stabilizing my weak frame.

We walk slowly, taking minute steps. Gavin stands to my left, my cart to the right and Ma follows behind.

We get to the hallway and people smile encouragingly. I give a small nod and continue my journey to outside.

It's been a while since I felt a breeze that wasn't due to my exposing gown.

I stop occasionally to rest my weary limbs. It's hard sitting in a hospital bed for six weeks. All your muscles weaken. Your legs feel like jello.

Thank God Alex bathes me. Ma shaves me. The nurses keep my bed linens fresh. I hate to think of what six weeks of funk would make me smell like.

A human dumpster, I'm sure.

Gavin presses his badge against the security sensor, the doors open and a blinding natural light makes contact with my previously sheltered eyes. I squint my eyes shut as the light pierces my retinas and a small burning sensation penetrates my eyelids.

Gavin whispers a sorry. I nod in acceptance of the unneeded apology.

We take steps towards a beautiful fountain, my eyes adjusting to the outside of my plain walls in my suite.

We continue walking at a slow pace around the fountain. We follow a path lined with green trees and beautiful little benches. The benches look inviting as my legs remind me I am in horrible shape.

"Can we sit?" I ask softly.

"Yeah. Here." Gavin helps me down onto the seat and stands beside me. He looks like a kitten guarding a Rottweiler.

Mama takes the seat beside me. I sigh and rest my head on the tree that the bench sits against. I close my eyes and soak up the sun's radiating warmth.

"This is nice." I quietly admit.

"Figured we can reacquaint you with the outside world. Dr. Reins is confident you are going to be outpatient soon."

My eyebrows lift. I open one eye and focus on the tiny angel that just offered my freedom on a silver platter. I smile.

"That sounds amazing." I confirm.

Gavin stares down on me from his standing position above me.

"I got a deal for you." Gavin giggles.

"I don't make deals with demons." I joke.

"Hey. I'm an angel." Gavin throws his hand over his heart in mock hurt.

"Mhmm." I say. I let my head fall to the side. Gavin's small body blocking the most damaging rays of the afternoon sun. I open both my blues and wait for this deal.

"Get me a date with your best friend." Gavin states shyly.

"What's in it for me?" I ask jokingly.

"I will break you outta here sooner." Gavin smiles ruefully.

My interest peaked, I narrow my eyes at the little devil in scrubs.

"How you gonna do that?" I ask. I cross my arms over my chest and wince when the fatigue proves I need the gym, badly.

"Dr. Reins relies heavily on our observations. My notes could make or break your release date." Gavin looks at me evilly.

"So, this is black mail." I chuckle. Kid has balls.

"Nah, really, you are doing well. You are ending your treatments inpatient. Next step is maintenance. So, no need for twenty four hour nursing. I just really want a shot with that sexy manager." Gavin shuffles his feet shyly.

"You got it." I wink at the adorable ball of confidence.

"Really? Thank you. Oh god, Steph is gonna be so jealous. Is he even gay? Oh shit. I didn't think of that. I can't turn a straight man. Never mind. Forget I asked. Fuck. I didn't think this thru." Gavin nervously rambles.

"Gavin." I call him back to Earth.

"Sorry." He whispers.

"He's completely gay. Stop stressing. I have a feeling he might be crushing too." I laugh. Gavin is definitely Alex's type. My very single friend adores twinks. I hope that's not offensive. Alex likes his boys feminine.

"I'm so excited." Gavin claps his hands and jumps up all girl like.

Definitely not offensive.

"Come on. I gotta get you back. You have tests scheduled soon." Gavin lifts me under my left arm and ma helps with my right.

I can't wait to be independent once again.

I clasp my fingers tightly on my steel pole of security. I place my feet in a better position so I won't fall.

Ma straightens my gown again before taking her stance at my back.

Gavin stands beside me giving me time to adjust before we move forward.

I start the long journey back to my temporary suite. The sun is cooling and a drift sweeps across my skin. Goosebumps appear for the wrong reasons. I shiver in chills.

My eyes start aching. My back throbs and I try to position myself to relieve the pressure in my lumbar region. A deep throbbing pulses in my temples. Tiny little iridescent speckles dot my vision.

The urge to toss my cookies rises up in my throat as my head begins to spin. The walkway in front of me becomes hazy and I feel like I'm moving in slow motion.

I don't register my descent until it's too late. My legs collapse, my back collides harshly with the warm cement below me. My head cracks against the side walk and my eyes start fluttering too quickly.

A groan escapes my lips.

Fuck!

I hear distant voices talking. I have no clue what they are saying. I feel hands under my neck. My back is lifted along with the rest of my worn out body.

I silently call out to God.

Don't let this kill me. Rescue me. Please.

Light flickers in and out of my vision before darkness covers my whole world.