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I pulled my coat closer to my body as the cool fall air hit my face. The breeze seemed to cut straight through me as I tapped on my leg to pass time. Kris was late for picking me up and it made me slightly frustrated but, maybe if I was lucky, she wouldn't come at all.

"I saw that fall today," Quinn said as she walked up to me.

I looked at her in silence, knowing I had nothing nice to say to her, so it was better not to say anything at all. If I was her, I wouldn't be anywhere near me. She lost her face and it would take forever for her to get it back. Attacking my best friend was not a way to get on my good side.

She stopped and looked at me with concern, as if she could see something on my face that wasn't right. "Are you ok?"

I resisted the urge to shout at her. Too many people have asked me this question recently, and it set me on edge. Since when did she care? I was fine. Why couldn't they see that? "What do you want, Quinn?" I snapped, not willing to be pleasant towards her.

She sighed, pulling on her north face black puffer coat as if she was uncomfortable. "I meant to say sorry for the other day. I didn't mean to start something that I didn't know for a fact."

Not much of an apology, since she knew the truth. "You shouldn't be apologizing to me."

She put her blonde hair into a ponytail as she tried to figure out what to say. "It's just easy when no one at the rink you skate with is competing at the same level as you."

I nodded, understanding that, but that shouldn't justify her actions, and she knew it. She had a point, and I was lucky. I looked at her and her dyed blonde hair and realized like everyone else at the rink; we were all stressed and all unsure of ourselves. We all just wanted to be the best, but in a world of judging and a million other skaters, there was no chance to be the best but yet we still tried. It was some big lie we told ourselves every time we got on the ice to give us motivation to go forward until we got a good score at a competition.

"I saw that double axle. It looked solid."

She smiled but then frowned just as quickly. "Yeah, but who knows what it will be like tomorrow."

<>

I was at least willing to work with her a little. I could see she was trying, and I had to at least give her that. "Positive thinking would do some good for you."

She smiled as her ride came up to the curb. And just like that, our friendship started healing. "I'll see you at the rink tomorrow."

I wouldn't have anywhere else I rather go. "I'll be there," I said as she got into the car with a few other skaters from the rink.

The one driving rolled down the passenger window and smiled at me. "Hey El, we are having a movie night on Friday. Want to come?"

I forced a smile, knowing they were only inviting me because I was the leader at the rink. They were trying to spend more time with me, getting on my good side since they skated in the afternoon, whereas I skated in the morning when hardly anyone was there. Normally I would go to these kinds of things, but I had the interview to go to instead. "Thanks for the invite but I can't."

The girl frowned, disappointed that I brushed her off so quickly. "Well, if your schedule opens up, let me know."

It won't. It never does. "Thank you. I'll give you a text if it does." No, I won't.

She smiled, happy with this response, then said, "have you studied for the chem test?"

"The one for tomorrow?"

She nodded.

And just like that, I felt my stomach drop as I thought about the mere hour I studied for it last night. "I need to study more." I should have studied longer, but I ended up falling asleep on the desk which I had been doing that a lot recently. I figured it was because I was stressing over practically everything right now.

"I'll be back here later today if you want to be a part of the study group."

I probably needed that. "That would be great. I will see you then."

She smiled brightly, then drove off, leaving me alone on the sidewalk once again.

Within minutes Kris drove up in her Black SUV. She rolled down the window and looked at me through her designer shades in silence. Finally, she spoke up, not giving me an excuse for why she was late. "Well, come on then."

I knew I had no right to snap at her, but I had been waiting for minutes and I felt slightly frusterated. Instead of saying anything, I grabbed my skating bag and my bookbag, then got into the passenger side of her car. As I sat down in the leather car seat, I felt something poke my butt causing me to reach under myself and pulled out a little car.

"Sorry, that must have been from Levi," Kris said and chuckled as she tossed the small red toy car behind her on the back seat.

I smiled lightly at her. "No big deal. How is he anyhow?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

"Growing like crazy. I can't believe he will turn five," she said as she drove off down the road.

"And your daughter? Sophie, how is she?"

"She's talking too much for a 3-year-old but Levi watches out for her. The bond they have is very special."

"I believe it."

There was silence as she thought about what she wanted to say next. We never talked about anything besides skating so I couldn't think of anything else to say. "Sometimes I just want them to stay young forever," Kris said honestly. "I know they are going to grow up and have different lives. They probably might even hate each other for a time. But I don't want that to happen. I always want them to be together."

Instantly I thought about my brothers and me. We didn't hate each other, but we for sure didn't know each other. "Time moves on. But just because time goes forward doesn't mean that they will distance themselves. They are not necessarily doomed to be like me and my brothers, if that is what you're thinking."

"I pray they will be friends forever."

For a moment, we weren't just skater and coach instead; she was family. She was open and honest with me, and it made me realize our bond was deeper than ice. This was why I picked her, she was my chosen family.

She pulled into the doctor's office and parked the car. "Here we are."

I sighed as I looked at the while small building in front of me. Quietly, I got out of the car and together we walked into it. I knew this office too well since Doctor Rodgers dealt with all the skating related injuries. Him being a hockey player back in the day, knew too well the dangers of skating, both emotional and physical, and could relate to all of us rink athletes.

I liked him; he was nice, kind, and smart. All the skaters trusted him, but I preferred not to come regardless of what I felt. I hadn't been here in so long that I hoped to avoid him all this year, but looks like I couldn't reach my goal.

As Kris signed me in, I took a seat on a vinyl chair and flipped through an old copy of a 17 magazine, attempting to waste time when I heard my name called from a nurse. I looked at her and her pixy hair cut and nodded, acknowledging that I heard her. "That was quick," I said to Kris as I put the magazine back on the faded coffee table.

"I am going to come in with you. Is that ok?" Kris asked as she put down her magazine that she was looking through.

I shrugged, knowing that if I said no, I wouldn't hear the end of it from her or mom. "Sure. Come in." I stood up from the chair and walked through a set of fake oak doors with Kris on my heels.

The nurse quickly weighed me, then sent me back to a room that was small with only two chairs. She said something like, 'he will be here soon', then closed the door behind her.

"When was the last time you were here?" Kris asked me as we waited.

I held my tongue for a moment knowing she wouldn't be happy with my response, but would find out eventually. "Probably in over 11 months."

She crossed her arms over her chest. As expected, she wasn't happy. "But what about the sprained ankle you had four months ago."

"I put ice on it and it got better. No, Doctor needed," I said proudly, as if that would make things better.

Kris gave a tired sigh. "Ellis, what will I do with you?"

I smiled. "You can keep on coaching me."

"You're talented, you are so so so talented, but you can't act like you are invincible. You are breakable and it is ok to acknowledge that. Going to the doctor's isn't a sign of weakness."

Sometimes she knew me exactly, but sometimes she was so far from the truth. This was one of those times she didn't know me at all. I didn't go to the doctors often, not because it was a sign of weakness, but because I was too busy. I didn't have time for what he would say to me and my parents didn't have the time to take me. We were all too busy, so it was better not to go and waiting it out to see if things got better on their own. "I know I'm breakable. After all, I got a sprained ankle."

Kris shook her head, not liking my humor. "Then what is it? I need you to pay more attention to your health. We want you to go to the next Olympics in three years."

"I want that."

"Then I want you to go to the doctor when you aren't feeling well."

For a second, I wanted to tell her I hadn't been feeling the best recently and wanted her to know I had been more tired and recently been losing my balance. Deep down, I knew something wasn't right, but at the same time, I didn't want to acknowledge it. But as the door to the room opened, the honesty I felt disappeared.

Doctor Rodgers walked in with a smile. His blonde hair gelled perfectly to the side and his appearance looked completely professional, but as I looked at his shoes, I noticed slightly muddy cowboy boots, the same as he always wore. "So Ellis, tell me, what is going on," Doctor Rodgers said.

I shrugged at him in silence. Beats me, I was only here because my coach made me. If I could have it my way, I wouldn't be here at all.

"She has lost weight, and I noticed she has been a little dizzy recently," Kris said as she looked up her phone, speaking for me as if she was my mother.

I shot her a look. She was as bad as a parent. "I just feel a little tired recently," I said to him honestly, knowing I couldn't lie about that in front of Kris.

He nodded as he took my blood pressure, then shined a light in my eyes. He took out his stethoscope and placed it against my back and for a second, he was quiet as he listened to my breath. Finally, he sighed, looking at me. "I'll do a panel just to be sure, but I think you are just a little stressed. Sectionals are what, like a week and a half away?"

I looked at Kris with a slight smile. I told her it was nothing. Thank you for being on my side, Doctor Rodgers. "That sounds good to me." Sometimes I forgot how in tune he was with the skating world. Growing up as a hockey player allowed him to get roped into figure skater health too.

He clapped his hands and smiled, happy with this conversation. "Great. I will get the nurse in here right away." He walked out and within seconds, his nurse came in with a kit in her hands.

"You will feel a big pinch," she said to me as she set up to get my blood from my arm.

I took a deep breath as I looked away from the needle. Just the thought of blood made me queasy. I felt a pinch to the inner part of my arm and within seconds, the pain vanished.

"There, you handle that like a champ," the Nurse said as she wrapped my arm.

I looked at the bright pink Band-Aid and nodded. "Thanks," I said to her, standing up from the chair as I lost my balance. Luckily, I was able to hide it from the two in the room as I put my hand on the chair casually to support myself.

"Ok, let's go," Kris said as she pinched her lips together in frustration, not happy with this trip.

In silence, I followed her out of the room, unable to hide the smug look on my face as we left.

Once we got to the car and Kris turned to me with concern in her eyes. "I still don't think this is stress. I have seen you stressed, but this is different. Something has changed."

I raised my eyebrows. And this was one of the times she could read me so clearly? "Can't we just deal with this after sectionals?" I begged her, knowing if there was something wrong, I didn't have the time to deal with it now.

She bit her lip as she thought about her options. "Fine."

I smiled at her, happy that she saw it my way, however she often saw it my way and I often got what I wanted in the end. "Great. Now, if you could take me back to the school that would be great. I have a study group to get to."

She turned on her car and got out of the parking lot in silence. She wasn't happy with her decision, but she had little a choice since sectionals were so close.

Within minutes, we were back where she picked me up just a mere hour ago. I got my backpack and skating bag from the back of her car and threw a smile her way. "Thanks for the ride."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

I wouldn't want it any other way. I closed the trunk of the car, allowing Kris to drive off, except she didn't. Instead, she rolled down her window. "Have you told your parents I took you to the doctors?"

I turned to face her, unable to hold the frown from my face. "No. And they will not know. They have been too busy recently. I don't want them to have another thing on their plate to stress about."

Kris remained silent. She knew just as well as I how busy they could be. "Just think about telling them." She said, then drove off.

I did, and I already decided it would not happen. With that, I walked to the front school door. I pulled my coat closer to me as I walked through the doors. I shivered. The building was freezing.

"Hey Ellis," a voice rang out.

I turned to the sound of the voice to see Garret looking uncomfortable, like he normally did when he talked to me.

"What Garret?" I sighed, too tired to fight him today.

He walked up to me and stopped as he eyed me from head to toe. "Are you feeling ok? You look flushed."

I felt my cheeks get redder as anger rose within me. I could scream. I had enough of these people. "I'm fine. Goodness, I just walked in from outside. It is cold. I am white and this happens to my skin when I get cold," I snapped at him.

He took a step back as if he just got slapped. He was silent for a moment as he looked at me as if I hurt him. "Turning into a big-league skater has changed you."

Instantly I wanted to take what I said to him back since even he didn't deserve that. I didn't mean to be so curt. I just have been a bit frustrated lately and it was nothing against him. "Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind. What did you want?" I asked, trying to even my tone.

Garret shrugged, suddenly lost for words.

I chuckled, I enjoyed watching him fluster. "Well, spit it out."

"Did you want to go on a date with me?"

I raised my eyebrows at him in shock. I never thought he liked me like that. Hockey players and figure skaters didn't mix. Sure, we used to be close when we were young, but things had changed a lot since then. We both had. "When?"

"We could go to the basketball game together."

I smiled. I hadn't been on a date in months. Maybe this was the distraction I was looking for. "Sure. Why not." I was going to the game anyhow.

He smiled brightly. "Cool. So where are you going now?"

I looked around and suddenly forgetting where I was going, causing me to frown. "You know, I don't know. I guess home."

"I can take you if you want."

"That would be awesome."