Happy Friday! I am so excited for the two days of relaxation! Look out for the <>!

I looked around my room with a small smile. I was finally in my own space. Who knew I would have to spend so much time downstairs, forcing myself to eat. Finally, mom gave up and set me loose up here by myself to rest. I never realized that I would miss my room place so much. I walked over to my neatly made bed and laid down. Finally, I was home.

After my parents told me this morning at the hospital that I was going home, that was all I could focus on. Now that I was here, I was happy to be in my own house resting without having nurses walking in and out.

I looked up at the popcorn ceiling and listened to the silent peace my room had. It was quieter here, whereas, downstairs, everyone was busy getting ready for Christmas. But here, in my room, there was silence that gave me time to think. Which wasn't great since I couldn't stop thinking about Callum.

He hadn't responded to any of my texts that I had sent him over the past 2 days. I knew that he might need time to decompress, but I was worried that he would never text me. I knew I hurt him, but I wasn't thinking right. I didn't want to break up. I was stressed and took it out on him. But now that moment was over, I needed him. I was hurting in more ways than one and I just wish he was around to help ease the ache. 

I lightly rubbed my fingers over the gauze on my neck. I had only been home from the hospital for only a few hours and the surgery was only three days ago, but it seemed like my neck was already healing so quickly. I just hoped that they got all of it. They said that they did, but a part of me was still nervous that I would have to go under the knife again. 

But one thing I was grateful for was that I would be back on the ice in no time.

I heard Christmas music start playing downstairs. Mom was in the Christmas spirit or at least trying to get into it. That was one of the reasons why she sent me up here, she wanted me to get out of the way. With Christmas eve tomorrow, there was so much that she wanted to do.

Traditionally I was the one that helped her prepare the food and decorate, but she insisted that I stayed in bed. She said I had no choice in the matter and I didn't fight her. After all, I was tired and needed the rest.

Christmas was so close, but yet it didn't feel like Christmas. This whole Christmas season had been shrouded by my health and skating. Honestly, thanksgiving was the same way. I don't remember exactly what happened on Thanksgiving day. I wish I was more in the Christmas mood, but my mind was so many other places right now.

I felt my phone buzz and picked it up eagerly, looking at the messages, hoping it was finally Callum. Instead, it was a text from Cami. I told her that I wouldn't be around the rink before Christmas because of some family obligations and she believed it easily. I wondered if it was related to that.

"El, what is this?" Cami's text read. I frowned at her cryptic message as I opened the photo she attached to the message. The photo was a screenshot of an article about me on the Weeks. I skimmed the words in the paper quickly. The words, sick, incapable, secretive, lies, eating disorder, cancer all popped out to me.

I felt my eyes fill up with tears as I read the article again as I tried to make sense of it. I couldn't breathe. It was out. My secret was spilled, like a glass of milk, all because of him. He knew how important it was for me to keep this quiet. I was so sure that I could trust him. I was speechless. He stabbed me in the back, after all, we had been through. He told me that he wouldn't share and how could I be so stupid to believe him.

Paulo walked into my bedroom with a smile on his face. His tall stature was standing loose and causal. He had something exciting to share but his smile fell off his face as soon as he looked at me.

"Paulo, where's your laptop?" I begged him. I had to read that article on a larger screen. I needed to read everything he wrote about me.

He ran to get it and within a second, he was back in my room with a laptop in hand. He handed it to me with worry.

I opened it and went to the Weeks' newspaper webpage. There on the front page was a photo of me passed out on the ice from sectionals. I couldn't hold back the sob that came from my mouth. I covered it as if that would help. Word would spread and everyone would know. This would ruin me. He knew that. He did it because of that. Callum ripped into me only to leave to the sharks. Callum Weeks killed me.

"El, what? What is it?" Paulo asked with concern. He sat next to me held me as he tried to see his computer screen.

I pointed at the computer in disgust. "Look. Look what he did to me."

Paulo took the computer and read the article.

I watched as Paulo's face contort into a grimace. He knew this was bad. "How could he do this to me?" I sobbed. Paulo handed the computer back to me but I pushed it away from me. I couldn't read any more of it. I couldn't stomach his words.

Without saying anything, Paulo pulled me into a hug and held me tightly. I melted into him. I needed him to tell me it was going to be ok. I needed him to love me because right now, I didn't feel loveable. I knew everyone at the rink would now shun me. I lied, I feed the lie and now they wouldn't trust me.

Paulo warned me that this would happen. He told me that Callum was dangerous, but I was stupid and refused to listen to him. I did this to myself. Callum was a wild fire and I got burnt.

For minutes we were like this, together, as Paulo held me, refusing to let me go. Just when I thought I was out of the woods, I found myself in the thick of it. My world was falling apart but for a second, Paulo seemed to hold it in place for me. "I'm sorry," he finally said to me softly.

My eyes well up with tears again. Paulo could have said so many things to me. He warned me time and time again that Callum was bad news. He could have rubbed this information in my face. He could have reminded me that I did this to myself. But instead of saying anything, he just held me tighter. I nodded into his shoulder. I was too. I wish I listened to Paulo from the beginning. I wish I never dated Callum Weeks.

I heard the doorbell ring and a second later I heard Jaimie talking to someone. "Ellis, Callum is here!" Jaimie shouted out for me from downstairs, unaware of what just happened.

I looked at Paulo with fear. I couldn't face him. Callum wanted to see me like this. He wanted to see me broken. He wanted to write about this raw emotion for another article, I was sure of it. "Please don't let him in," I begged Paulo as if he could stop him.

Breaking us from our moment was a knock on my bedroom door. I looked over and saw Callum with a newly forming black eye. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes as I tried to control my emotions. I had to be strong in front of him. He didn't deserve to see me broken.

Callum's eyes held so much regret. "Ellis," He said, unsure what else to say to me. He looked at my neck and his frown deepened.

<>

I squirmed under the arms of Paulo. I wanted him to stop looking at me.

Paulo sighed as he let go of me. He stood up from my bed with his eyes trained on Callum. He loomed over Callum, ready to attack if needed. "I think you've done enough damage," Paulo said to Callum.

"Ellis, please, tell him," Callum begged me. He wanted to explain himself, but there was nothing to explain. His family owned the newspaper, I was the big story. After all, this was only business. I was just stupid enough to trust him from the beginning.

I shook my head. He broke my trust. Whatever he would say, was probably lies. He already said as much as he could with the article he posted. Whatever we had left was over. He crushed me. We couldn't get over this. We were over, completely, and utterly over. I stayed silent as I looked into his dark green eyes.

"Ellis, please," he begged as he took a step forward into my shag carpet room.

Paulo looked at me as if seeing what I wanted him to do. "Ok, I think that's enough," Paulo said to Callum and pushed him forward with enough force that Callum stumbled back.

Callum regained his balance and shot Paulo a look. Without thinking about it, Callum punched Paulo across his jaw.

Paulo held his face as he looked at Callum. He was debating about what to do next. He then punched Callum back. Callum stumbled to the floor as he looked around the room, thinking about his next move. Callum pushed himself up from the ground and threw his fists up, ready to throw the next punch. Both had hate in their eyes.

In silence I watched them stare each other down. If I didn't do anything, this would turn into a full-blown fight in my bedroom. "Stop!" I screamed at them.

They both stopped to look at me. "Stop it," I said to them again as tears welled up in my eyes.

Callum put his hands down with sorrow as if just realizing what he had done. "El, let me explain," Callum begged.

I shook my head. I couldn't hear anything more from him.

"Come on, get out of here," Paulo said.

I watched in silence as Paulo steered Callum out of my room. I wiped the tears from my eyes and let out a shaky breath. How could he do this to me? How could He expect me to listen to him after he posted that article? He made me feel like trash one minute then another minute he wanted me to draw into him.

Callum Weeks was a monster.

Callum looked at me one more time as if waiting for me to say something to him. I wasn't though. There was nothing left to say. I tried to text him for days and he never once responded to any of those messages. He had time to explain himself before all of this, but now, the bridges were burnt and they weren't going to be remade.

Knowing that there was going to be no conversation, he hung his head low and left in silence.

Paulo closed the door to my room then turned to look at me. He rubbed his jaw, already red, it was going to bruise. Mom would notice if he didn't cover it up with makeup. "El, I'm sorry," Paulo said finally.

I nodded stiffly. I was too. If I could erase the last 2 months of my life, I just might be tempted to. "It's life right? You warned me," I chuckled with no emotion. "You told me to stay away. I should have listened."

"That doesn't matter. You thought you could trust him right? He made you believe him. He's the one to blame. Not you," Paulo said firmly as he sat down next to me again. He wrapped his arm around me and I leaned into him.

I nodded into his shoulder although his words didn't resonate. This was my fault. I made my own grave.