Hey!!!! I know I finished the book up, but I just couldn't help but write a chapter about Nationals. YAY she finally made it! Anyhow, enjoy, happy Saturday! I hope you are staying safe! I finally made it back to the USA, thank goodness. Well, anyhow, look out for the <>

Also this is the perfect "Ending credits" song. I hope you enjoy!

DarlaH

I put on my music and turned up the volume as I walked into the locker room.

"El, did you hear me?" mom asked as she took my headphones off my head.

I didn't even realize she was following me. "Yeah. What?" I snapped at her, upset that she was getting mad at me. She knew how I was during competitions. This was not the time to talk to her. I need to pay attention to skating. My short program was in two hours. I had to get ready for that.

She wanted to tell me something but suddenly decided to abandon her thought. "Good luck, we will be cheering you on from the seats," mom said as she pulled me into a hug.

I smiled lightly as I held onto her. I needed this human touch to cool my nerves. I let out a breath. I could feel myself shaking slightly. I had to pull myself together. This was my dream. I was here because I wanted to be. "See you," I said and pulled out of the hug.

She nodded then walked out of the room.

<>

I sat down on a bench and sighed. This was it. It was down to minutes now, finally, after months of training, it boiled down to this. I pulled out my jump rope, ready to warm up and I walked out of the locker room, I felt someone grab my arm and pull me to the side of the hall.

Panic filled me for a quick second until I looked up at Callum with a smile. I could see mischief playing in his eyes. "Hey," I said to him, not expecting him to come till tomorrow. This was what mom wanted to tell me. He came early for me.

He kissed me with emotion then pulled out as someone gagged. This was the only place that was at least somewhat private, give us a break. "Surprise," he said with a smirk.

I pulled on his ripped T-shirt collar and kissed him again. "I like this surprise," he chuckled beneath my lips as I pulled him closer to me.

I hadn't seen Callum in two weeks. He was a sight for sore eyes. He had to go to LA with his band for recording and a few days turned into two weeks. I remembered the phone call I had with him the night before, telling me that he wouldn't be able to get away from work until tomorrow.

To be honest, I was disappointed. This school year had been hard for me since Jaimie and Paulo went off to college and Callum seemed to be always busy doing his father's bidding, college, or stuff for his band. I often found myself alone at home after my training, wishing someone would answer their phone.

Callum pulled out of the kiss and smiled at me. He put both of his hands on the wall that I was resting against and said, "damn, I missed you."

"I missed you too," I said, and that was the truth, I did miss him. So much. I looked up at his buzzed hair and ran my hands through it.

"You like it?" he asked with a chuckle.

I nodded. "I do, but I like any hairstyle you have."

He laughed as he pulled me closer to him. "As much as I want to pull you away from this place and getaway, I know you have to warm up," he whispered into my ear.

I didn't want him to let me go. But I had to get ready. He knew that so well by now. "Yeah...." I said, dropping my voice.

He pulled me out of the embrace and smiled. "Then go. I'll find a seat with your parents and brothers."

I sighed with a nod. I then ran off down the hall to find a private place to warm up for my short program. I quickly found a little corner to jump rope. I turned my music up again and started to jump a solid beat.

Before I knew it, I was watching a skater came off the ice in tears as she finished her program. I held onto the board as my knuckles turned white. I was next. "Remember, you got this. You can do this," Kris said as she took my coat off from my shoulders.

I nodded at her. I was nervous. I just had to keep on telling myself that but I couldn't feel a bit star-struck as I skated beside skaters that I looked up to for years already. I stepped on the ice and looked around at the stadium full of people. I let out a breath. Here I was, nationals. I had spent my whole skating life training for this. I was ready for this.

"And representing the skating club of Portland Oregon, Ellis da Souza!" the announcer rang out.

I smiled as I pushed myself from the wall and skated a lap. I looked up at the people sitting around the rink and saw my family. I threw them one last smile as I set up my program and waited for my music to start.

Seconds later my music started to play through the speakers and I pushed forward with power. I set up for the first jump and landed the triple axel with no problems. I smiled. I got this. I could do this.

As soon as the music started, the music ended. I held my ending position for 10 seconds as I heard the crowd cheer. I smiled. I knew that was one of my best programs I had skated. I waved to the crowd then picked up a little stuff animal. I gave one last look at the ice as I got off the ice. That was something I was proud of.

"That was Pucking Fantastic, El. Wow, I'm speechless," Kris said as she steered me to the kiss and cry.

I sat down and smiled as I heard the crowd still cheering. They were cheering for me. I did this. I earned this.

"And scores for Ellis da Souza are...." the announcer said as the crowd grew quiet. I felt my heart race out of my chest. I couldn't breathe. Here it was, was my score really good enough to get me somewhere? "That gives Ellis da Souza a total score of 67.3!" the announcer stated.

The crowd broke out in cheers. I held my hand to my mouth as if that would help choke back the cry/scream that came to my mouth. I was in disbelief. That was the best skate I had ever done. The score was a personal best.

"Currently she is in 5th place."

I was speechless as I felt my eyes well up with tears. I knew I wasn't going to be in the top four, but 5th, that was better than I had hoped for. I was the last one to skate so I knew that no one would bump me down from that spot. I was in 5th place. I smiled. Wow.

Kris rubbed my shoulder. I saw the excitement in her eyes. "Ellis, that was wow, there are no words," Kris said as she held onto me with a smile.

I nodded. I felt the same. No words. Now I just needed to skate a good long program tomorrow. I stood up from the bench and gave one last wave to the crowd at the camera then I walked back to get to my locker room.

"Ellis. I am so proud of you," Kris said with a smile as we walked to the hall together.

I smiled at her. "Thank you."

Suddenly her tone grew serious as she sighed. I knew where this was going but I didn't want her to bring it up just yet. "If you make the decision to go to Colorado Springs to train, I will miss you. But you will do great things there," she said and hugged me.

I nodded at her as I got slightly emotional. I had been thinking a lot about training there, I knew that I could gain more skills if I went. All the big skaters seemed to train there and if I wanted to get farther than where I was, I needed to go, but a part of me wanted to stay in Portland, where I was comfortable.

But comfortable never made anyone great.

She looked at me, reading me. She knew I was torn. "Well, I will see you tomorrow. Rest up, party, but not too hard, and I'll be here waiting for you tomorrow."

I smiled lightly then nodded as Kris walked off with a spring in her step. I sighed as I walked into my locker room. I found my back and sat next to it and started to take off my skate. I was graduating high school in a mere three months and I needed to think about what my next steps were going to be. All my life I was a huge planner, but now, I found myself at a crossroads and the thing was, I was scared to take any step forward.

"Wow! El, that was amazing!" mom said with a smile as she walked into the locker room.

"That was a personal best."

"I know! I'm so proud!"

I nodded. "Me too," I said, with a lack of enthusiasm, as I found my mind elsewhere. I convinced myself not to think about Colorado until I skated in Nationals, but now that I had skated, I needed to think about it.

"Well, I'll let you take off your skates and decompress. I will be out there waiting with everyone else," mom said as she started to walk back out.

I nodded to her as I finished taking off my skates. I put them into my duffle bag as I thought about my skate. It was everything I would have hoped for. Now I just needed to skate a perfect tomorrow. I sighed. That was all I needed to do.

I stood up from the bench and walked out of the locker room with a smile on my face. Everyone wanted to see me happy. And yes, I was happy, but there was so much on my mind now that I skated a clean program.

With my duffle bag in hand, I walked out into the lobby and saw my family waiting for me. Dad, mom, Jaimie, Paulo, Callum, and Cami. I didn't need anyone else. Suddenly my fears of making a choice faded. Their excitement rubbed off on me instantly. "There she is!" Dad said with a smile as he hugged me. "El, that was amazing."

I smiled into his shoulder as I felt Paulo pat my shoulder. I pulled out of the hug and smiled at Paulo. "3 weeks is way too long without you," I said as I hugged him tightly. I never thought it would be so hard for me to adjust once my brothers went off to school.

"And what am I?" Jaimie asked with a frown.

I pulled out of the hug with Paulo and smiled at Jaimie. "At least you call me almost every day," I said as I looked at him holding hands with Cami. "And it is great that you come home often to visit us," I said, knowing the reason for that was Cami.

"El, can I just, say, I am speechless," Cami said with excitement. I was too.

"Ok! I think we need to go out for dinner! Celebrate!" mom said as she pulled out her keys to her Kate Spade purse.

"Great! I'm starving," Cami said with a smile. Something that she always blew me away with was the fact that she was a bottomless pit when it came to food. She looked at me with a chuckle, "What? I hadn't eaten in like two hours. I'm hungry."

I chuckled at her then nodded at mom. "Yeah, let's get food," I said to her as I followed them out into the cold air.

Minutes later we found ourselves at a local Mexican restaurant that was attached to the hotel that we were all staying at. "Who knew Carmel Indiana had good Mexican food!" Paulo said as he bit into his taco.

I chuckled at him. "If you read the reviews, you would know that they had good Mexican food."

"Oh dang, El, I missed your sass," Paulo said with a smile.

"Well, why don't you call me more often," I said as I took a bite of my burrito.

He frowned. "Don't put all the blame on me, we all know that you didn't reach out to me either."

I chucked again. He did have a point. "Touché."

"But anyhow, I was thinking, Colorado, is a long hall but lucky for me I will have a few games that way. And I am sure I will have some next year too," Paulo said with a smile.

I frowned at Paulo and turned to look at Callum. His smile fell off his face. He didn't know what my plans were after I graduated high school. We had been so busy that I didn't have a chance to bring it up. As much as I wanted to follow him to LA, or stay in Portland, I knew that I had to go to Colorado for any chance at getting to the world scene.

I frowned at him as the table grew silent. They could see that Callum was hurt. "El, I'm sorry," Paulo said with a frown. He knew he said too much.

I was silent. There was a lot that Callum and I needed to talk about.

"Um, I think it is best to give you two some space," Jaimie said as he stood up from the table. Paulo and my parents followed his lead.

"We'll meet you at the hotel room," mom said with a small smile then walked out of the hotel restaurant.

He ran his hand through his short buzzed hair with a frown. He was silent but I was just waiting for him to say something. "Hell, Ellis, when were you going to tell me?" He asked finally. "How long have you been planning this?"

Months. But the plan was just daydreaming, that was until I skated my short program at nationals. I was waiting to see if I really had it in me, and it was clear that I did. I didn't know how to tell him that though.

"I'm not going to lie, I am hurt," he said as he paused to think about it. "So that conversation about following me to LA last week, you were just humoring me?"

I felt my eyes well up with tears. "It's not like that," I said to him. I do want to go with him. I am torn, can't he see that?

"Then please tell me, El."

"I didn't know if I was skilled enough to train in Colorado. I didn't know if I had it in me or if it was even worth it."

He put his hands on the table and frowned. "You didn't know? Goodness, that doesn't sound like you at all. I could have told you that you had it in you. That is obvious."

"Really?"

He nodded with confidence. "Hell yeah, but it hurts that you didn't even want to share these thoughts with me."

I shrugged. "I didn't want to share just a dream."

"But I want to hear those dreams," he said and leaned closer to me.

I whipped the tears from my eyes. To be honest I was scared to tell him. As much as I wanted to go to Colorado Springs and train, I was terrified of the change. A part of me hoped that if I didn't say anything, it would just run its course. But it hasn't. The desire to train there only grew, but by the time I made it here, I thought maybe it wasn't a good time to tell Callum. "Why do we have to get older and change?" I asked with a frown.

Callum chuckled at me, his frustrated tone just faded into thin air. "That's just life. People get old, they change."

I frowned at him. "I have felt so alone this whole year, Jaimie, Paulo, you, are all spreading your wings, but there is me. Now it is my turn and I am afraid to jump," I said as I looked at my empty plate that still had food scraps on it.

He chuckled again, finding humor in my statement, but I was dead serious. "I didn't think you were so afraid of jumping. You jump every day with blades on your feet."

"But this is different."

"No, not really. El, you are going to Colorado, we will make it work. You are going to train your heart out and be amazing. You will go to world competitions and you will go to the Olympics. You have so much potential. Not, going is not an option."

I smiled slightly. I missed having conversations like this. Lately, it had been hard for us to have the heart to hearts because we had been so busy with our lives. "But what will this mean for us?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"Long-distance is always an option. And I can visit Colorado springs when I can."

I nodded, although this wasn't ideal, maybe it could work. "I love you, Callum."

"And I love you," he said as the phone went off. He pulled it out of his skinny jeans and frowned at it.

"Is it your dad?" I asked, knowing that his relationship with his father never improved. But I thought it was healthy that he spent a decent time away from him in LA or at my place.

He shook his head. "It's the band."

"What do they want?"

"The AP release date just got moved up to a month and a half from now."

"Now that is exciting!" I said with a smile, eager to change the topic. As much as I knew I needed to go to Colorado to improve, I was scared about making that step.