TAKODA AND I fell into a strange rhythm over the next few days.

The air between us wasn't completely clear yet—something still crackled in it, somewhat electric—but it was considerably lighter, and when May told us during our next meeting that she wanted us to use my sister's show to promote our "relationship," I didn't protest. Instead, I stayed back and insisted we came up with a plot surrounding how the relationship would be. He wanted something semi-private, when the part of me that was still salty about the reaction of Coco's fans wanted to shove it in their faces the moment I got the chance, but we ended up agreeing on three things.

No excessive displays of affection or excessive flaunting of each other. No change in our social media or Coco Says presence to avoid suspicion. Forgetting that we were this close to agreeing to be casual sex buddies—in quieter language.

When he came over with Lulu on Friday evening, straight from the studio, just a few minutes after my parents left for date night, I hugged him at the door, only realizing then, when his warmth engulfed me, how long it'd been since we last hugged.

"We have the house to ourselves. Let's get up to some mischief," I joked as I led him to the living room, for the sake of the cameras.

"What's your definition of mischief?" he asked as he stepped closer to me from behind, placing his free hand on one side of my waist and leaning down to place a kiss on a spot below my ear. The gesture surprised me, but I tried to act like I was used to him touching me and being so close.

"Vandalism, breaking and entering, etcetera."

"Boo, you're very uncreative."

I playfully elbowed him, and he laughed, before calling out to Lulu to remind her that she'd forgotten about her treats. She ignored him.

He took off his shoes the moment we got to the living room and placed his head in my lap, lying stomach-down and briefly pressing his face into my stomach as he complained about a headache, and instinctively, I ran my fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp at intervals. I asked him about work, then we talked about the most random things until he got too tired to keep up. I lured Lulu over at one point and took a photo of her when she tried to nip at my socks.

The next afternoon, he posted a bunch of photos—the first one was of some of his crew members sharing a good laugh in the studio, the second was of two takeout bags and a doggie one on the passenger seat of his car, the third a stylishly blurry photo of palm trees through his windshield, with someone's phone open to Spotify at the edge of the shot, and the fourth was of Coco standing in front of a building in baggy jeans and an artistic osmosis crop top, leaning towards the camera with a close-lipped smile, her eyes half-closed and her right hand covering a part of her face in the victory sign—with just one caption: Lately.

vacation to the bahamas when? Coco had commented.

I just got back from vacation, what are you talking about? he'd replied.

Your face is not in any of these photos, wrote May. He'd responded with that emoji that didn't have a mouth.

I took a while to grow a pair to do it, but I dropped him a heart, and as I checked my notifications after retiring for the day, I saw with a smile that he'd sent two hearts back, and Robin had left get a room in response to the both of us. May sent me a screenshot of the conversation the next morning, bringing to my attention that my simple comment had over a hundred likes. LOVE THE THREE OF YOU FOR THIS, she'd paired with it.

On the way back from church on Sunday, I received a follow notification from novandra, and without thinking twice about it, I followed her back, liking her most recent post—one of her in a trailer on set in Vancouver—for good measure.

I was taking photos of cookie batter my mom made, as part of the content I planned to share later, when Coco walked into the kitchen, putting on a bandeau top and bell bottom pants that looked unfairly good on her. She pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head after taking us in.

"Are you sure this isn't a cave?" she asked in lieu of a hello, and my mom paused to give her a puzzled look. "I've been calling you guys. No one answered."

"You decide to move out, I decide not to hear when you come over," my mom told her. "Cornrows look good on you."

"Thanks." She put the plastic bag she was holding down on the kitchen island before walking over to see what we were up to. I was barely conscious of the fact that I hadn't said anything to her, even though I wasn't planning on speaking to her anytime soon, but when it came to my notice, I returned to my phone.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her walk to the sink to wash her hands.

"Have you watched Takoda's interview with Isabella Rios?" she asked, glancing over her shoulder at us.

"I haven't had the time to. But Cleo was there with him."

"Oh yeah?"

"She's someone's girlfriend now. So sad."

"Mom." I couldn't help but laugh.

Coco turned off the faucet, then moved on to drying her hands. "I literally can't stomach the fact that my best friend and my sister have a thing. The other day, they kissed in front of me, and I instantly wanted to go into the bright white light I saw."

My mom laughed, generously pouring the batter into each mold in the pan. "It's even more disorienting because she didn't tell us anything. It just sort of popped up."

"You guys just aren't very attentive," I offered, applying a filter to my photos. "Takoda and I have had an unofficial thing since before I even graduated from high school." They stared at me like I'd just spoken German, and I was silently thankful that the backstory May, Takoda and I had weaved, loosely based on the real thing, wouldn't go to waste. "I was always going out back then, Mom. Where do you think I was headed? McDonald's?"

"Who taught you how to sneak around?"

I gave her a smug smile. "Ask the ancestors. I think it's in my blood."

In my peripheral vision, I saw Coco watching me from her place by the sink, but before I could focus too much on it, my phone pinged with a text from Takoda. Speak of the devil.

Free to talk?

Yeah, I responded, and almost immediately, his call came in.

"Hey," I said after pressing the phone to my ear, sending a glance my mom's way.

"Hey. You alone?" His voice cascaded through me, and I wondered when I'd get used to hearing it over the phone.

"I'm filming, and my mom and Coco are here."

"Am I on loudspeaker?"

"No."

"Okay. So, um, I have this appearance on Wednesday in Las Vegas that I'm absolutely dreading, and May told me to ask if you'd like to come with me."

"Las Vegas?" I asked, instinctively glancing at my mom again. This time, she gave me a knowing smile.

"Yeah. Quite the trip. You won't believe she just reminded me this morning, after almost everything's been booked."

I chuckled. "Don't you read your emails?"

"That's her and Zach's job. Do you know how many emails I receive in a day?"

"More reason why you shouldn't just leave everything to them. They have other clients, you know."

"Do you want to come with me, Cleo?" he interjected, and I remained silent for the next few seconds, worrying my lip and wondering if spending over twenty-four hours with him in a time like this was really worth it. We'd have to be in the same space, take pictures, share a hotel room, and all that jazz. I wasn't sure I was ready for it, especially not after what happened between us at his place the other day.

"When do you plan on leaving?" I chose to ask instead.

"Early Wednesday morning. Then I head back first thing on Thursday."

"And you think this is a good idea?"

He took a moment to respond. "I don't, but May wants what she wants." I noticed that there was a strain in his voice then, like he was leaning back into something, and I could imagine him in bed, staring up at his ceiling with an arm over his forehead. "I could tell her you have plans and won't make it."

That was a fantastic idea, and I was about agreeing to it, but then it occurred to me that, as my dad and sister said, I never left the house, and a part of my brain started to visualize this as a trip for me. Not for Takoda, not for May, not for this relationship we were trying to sell. Something to help me get out of Los Angeles, to help me smell a new brand of air. I could loosen up. Takoda and I could be friendly. We didn't always have to have this stupid sexual tension between us. Right?

"What time will you pick me up?"

He hesitated again, and I quietly smiled to myself at the realization that I'd taken him off guard.

You're unpredictable, Cleobelle. I think I know you, but then I get slapped by reality and realize that I don't. I like it. Strangely.

"You're coming?"

"Yes, Takoda. I'm coming." Coco chose that moment to let out an exaggerated cough, and I shot her a glare before saying into the phone, "Coco says hi."

"Tell her I said I love her."

And that sentence was the perfect excuse to remember us in his Lexus on graduation night, lips swollen and pink from kissing too much. My stomach tingled with the memory of us pressed flush against each other. "Coco, Takoda says he loves you."

Her eyes immediately grew soft. "Aw, love you too, T," she said, loud enough for him to hear, while Mom put the cookie tray in the oven.

"So . . . I'll get you by five? Flight's by seven."

"You're paying me for ruining my sleep schedule," I told him, faking seriousness.

"Whatever you want." I shouldn't have liked how low his tone was as he said that, or how it rumbled through me, but I really did. I knew he was just tired and not doing anything on purpose, but still. "You could have the hotel bed all to yourself. Sound good?"

"Sounds marvelous," I joked, hoping he wasn't actually serious about that.

"Great." His voice faded a bit there, so much that I could practically hear him drifting off.

"Get some sleep. I can literally hear that you're half-awake."

There was a smile in his voice as he said, "Rough day so far. I'll see you on Wednesday."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I wasn't sure where that came from, but I didn't take the words back. In the seconds it took him to respond, I noticed that a Sia song was playing softly in the background. A sign that he wanted to relax but was finding it difficult to. It was something he did to ground himself, something he told me his therapist encouraged after he suggested it, something about music being therapeutic.

"Not while you're filming," he eventually said.

"I could leave," I told him, already making to do just that, but his voice stopped me, a quiet resignation to it.

"Some other time, Clee. Thanks for asking. I'll see you on Wednesday."

I pulled on a loose thread in my sweatpants, feeling myself soften inside. "Take care of yourself, Calebs."

I heard him hesitate at my gentle tone, and I wondered if he was just staring at his ceiling or doing something else. He didn't sound like he was moving, though. "You too, Clee."

He didn't hang up immediately like I was expecting him to, letting a handful of seconds pass before I heard the sound of the disconnected line.

"You okay?" Mom asked me the second I took the phone off my ear, probably reading the expression on my face.

"Yeah," I responded, brightly, putting a smile on for her benefit. "We're going to Sin City on Wednesday."

"I don't like that you called it that."

I almost laughed at her frown.

"What for?" Coco asked.

"He has an appearance."

"You're mad at me."

"No shit."

"Cleo," Mom said, tiredly.

Impulsively, I texted, Do you want me to come over? and sent it to Takoda.

"I'm sorry," my sister told me. "I didn't mean for it to come out that way."

"But it did, and it sucked."

"I was pissed off."

"I'm not really interested in talking about it, Colette."

Takoda's reply came in, and I took it as an opportunity to leave the kitchen, kindly excusing myself. Really, whatever Coco said to me was the least of my worries right now.

I'll probably be asleep by the time you get here and they won't let you in. Don't worry about it :)

It was strangely cute how he used emoticons instead of emojis sometimes.

Okay, I typed back, not knowing what else to say. Then something occurred to me. You should listen to SLO's Shut Out of Paradise when Sia's done. It's kinda romantic but it relaxes me. You could also try Sevana's Be Somebody & Running Low, Shawn Mendes

I backspaced the last part of my text before retyping and sending it off. There was something strangely intimate about sharing your favorite songs with somebody, and the last song reminded me a lot about what happened between us, so I wasn't sure I wanted to have it out there. I got to my room before his reply came in.

Thanks. I love the last two songs actually

Then, I haven't really kept up with spamming you with Spotify links, have I?

You're forgiven. I added a smile, and he sent one back.

I saw him typing and waited, but then the three dots disappeared after lingering a while and didn't come back, and I tried not to feel disappointed.

I fell back into my bed with a huff and wondered why I cared so much as the springs bounced, taking me along with them. This was stupid, and I needed to get a grip. Despite repeating that to myself over and over, it didn't stop me from looking at my phone when I heard it chime. He'd sent a link and added, Let this tide you over. Made me think of you at the same time that it made me think of me

I was smiling long before I realized it.

Who's more of a music expert between the both of us?

His reply came not too long after. Isn't it obvious?

If you say it's you, I'll riot

Says you who's only streamed ONE album this year. We're in July

That's just a minor technical difficulty. I'm in a music slump

You mean a creative slump

Not all of us can be educated

My point stands. The expert is glaringly obvious

I thought you wanted to sleep

You want to talk, yeah?

You could just ignore me and close your eyes. Put your phone on silent

This time, he took a while to respond, and I feared that he took me that seriously. Then his text popped up.

I'm not gonna do that again

My thumbs froze over my screen as I fully understood what he meant. The two months I'd spent texting and calling after he disappeared refused to completely leave my memory no matter what I did, and it was things like this that brought them back. I'd been worried sick, crying and silently begging him to answer, to let me know he was fine, until I got too mad to continue trying. Something kept telling me that he didn't care about me, especially because of the way we ended things. He doesn't care enough about you to read your texts or pick up your calls. You're worthless to him now. You gave him what he wanted and now he doesn't need you anymore. You were too easy. This is all your fault.

I told myself really awful things, over and over until all that anger turned blinding, until I was making promises to myself, not knowing a day like this would come.

I shook my head clear of the thoughts.

It's okay Takoda, I typed. Sleep. Maybe I'll stop by tomorrow to check on you

Might not be home tomorrow. Have therapy

The disappointment kept sinking lower and lower, until I was almost feeling overwhelmed by it. What was wrong with me, even?

Okay then. That's fine. I'll leave you alone now

I expected him to say something, but long after my text was marked as seen, my phone remained silent. I put it away, releasing a sigh and rolling onto my back so I could stare at my ceiling. I'm not sure what I thought about in that time, but eventually I took my phone again and tapped on the link he sent. Then I reached for my AirPods on my bedside drawer and connected them.

The song was titled Rakefire. I'd never heard of the artist, but I trusted Takoda's taste and wanted to find out what it was about the song that made him think of me. It was one thing to share a song with somebody. It was another thing entirely to completely attach that person to that song, for them to come to mind whenever it plays. It made it all feel even special. I was more than curious. It was a gentle song, but there was something about it that I couldn't quite explain. It sounded like something Chayton Calebs would sing, and the first time, I focused on the vibe and melody, before paying attention to the words during the replay.

I went still at some point as the lyrics became clearer.

I like the stuff you do just to stay relevant. Then, I don't wanna be a sequel to the people who I've tried my best to avoid. Then, You know me, so you know I'm feeling low.

The song screamed Takoda and I, but instead of as a collective, it described us as the separate individuals we were—if that made sense—so much that I wanted to laugh. At the same time, it kind of felt like some kind of secret message from him, even though I still wondered if I was just overanalyzing things. The timing of the song couldn't be coincidental, right?

Before I could think further about it, a text from Robin came in, in all caps.

STAN DM'D ME ON IG AND WANTS TO TAKE ME FOR COFFEE WHAT DO I SAY??

I felt my eyes widen and immediately got giddy, sitting up in bed even though I wasn't sure about Stanley's intentions. Guys didn't just ask any girl to coffee, right?

SAY YES YOU FOOL, I replied. Then, He's a good guy, right?

As far as I know. He has the name of a middle-aged man though

I rolled my eyes before typing, Then go ahead. See where it goes. You've been single for ages

You've been single for the near 20 years you've been on this planet. Don't judge

TC and I are going to Vegas this Wednesday, by the way

A moment passed, and because I knew her so well, I wasn't surprised when my phone started ringing and displayed her name, along with a wacky photo I'd taken of her a while back. She looked like she was in labor in it, and I was pretty sure she'd strangle me if she found out about it, but it was my phone and not hers.

"—riously taking you to Vegas?" she was saying before I could place the phone against my ear.

"More like he begged me to come, but whatever."

Robin released a grade A squeal, her voice coming in and out of focus, and I could almost imagine her thrashing around in bed. "Oh my God. Do you still have that nightie I got you?"

I almost choked on my own saliva as my heart simultaneously flung itself against my ribcage. I wished she knew how very unfunny that was. "Robin," I warned.

"Do you have it, Cleo?" Her voice was terribly loud that time, and I winced.

"Why does it matter?"

"It matters because you're gonna have some fun," she teased in a sing-song voice.

"I'm not seducing him, if that's what you're trying to suggest."

"Don't be a killjoy."

"Takoda and I aren't—"

"You did it at Coco's."

"What?" The hell did she know that?

"Admit it."

Silently, I urged my heart to calm down. "No. We didn't do anything."

Robin was relentless. "So, after you obviously made out in Coco's piano room and went upstairs, I'm just supposed to believe you guys went your separate ways? While you were alone in an empty house? I watched the episode. And Takoda claimed to have spilled juice on the sheets when your sister caught him doing her laundry."

"I went to my room afterwards, and maybe he did spill juice. It's not like it's beyond him or anything. He can be very clumsy sometimes," I said automatically, hoping the cameras didn't capture us walking into his room together, even though I knew that arguing was useless.

"Please have mercy on me," she sang, not quite doing Shawn Mendes justice. "It was standing-on-the-roof-and-screaming-into-a-loudspeaker obvious."

"Robin."

"Whatever. Just pack the nightie and be safe."

"There's something seriously wrong with you."

She started laughing, and I shook my head. "But on a more serious note, you guys did have sex, didn't you?"

"No! Why's that so hard for you to believe?"

"You know I'm not gonna judge you, right? I know—Christianity and all."

"Can we not talk about this? Please?" I didn't need any of that guilt right now. "You have a date with Dissection Stan and instead of picking out something cute to wear, you're fussing over whether I got some. Is this a medium you're using to stall?"

I waited for her to respond, hoping she'd drop it. Thankfully, she let out a sigh after a while and said, "I don't think I'm ready to be romantic with anyone right now, C. I'm pretty future-focused right now and don't want to get distracted."

My chest grew tight at "future-focused." "You're probably just over-projecting or something. Maybe he just wants to catch up, you know."

"You said he had a thing for me!" she exclaimed. "What if he's just following up on that?"

"Just have coffee with him, Robin. It can't hurt. And if he starts seeming that way, you could just . . . tell him exactly what you told me. If he really cares about you, he'll respect that."

"You start dating Takoda and suddenly you're an expert with feelings," she mumbled, faking bitterness.

I scoffed. "Takoda put me through shit, remember? And I thought keeping it all to myself was healthy. I'm no expert, just telling you the right thing to do. What you want is way more important than some good-looking guy. Romance is overrated, anyway."

At the sound of that, she laughed. "I'm definitely telling Takoda you said that."

I smiled. "Go ahead. Not like he's going to be surprised or anything."

"I'm glad you guys worked things out, Cleo. I like the both of you together."

Hardly, I thought, feeling guilt throbbing in my veins. "Unpopular opinion."

"Whatever people are saying doesn't matter, and I don't want you to let any of it get to you, okay? They'll just have to get used to it. Toxic fan behavior at its finest."

"I'm pretty sure I have DMs from them. I saw a twenty hovering near the text bubble the other day." I chuckled.

"Whatever you do, don't forget to pack the nightie."

"Get out of my phone, Rob."

She was laughing as she said, distantly, "Love you, fool."

"Love you too, eejit."

The moment the call disconnected, I fell back into bed and tried to distract myself from feeling too guilty about the lies I was telling, and I almost cursed Robin out loud when I remembered the morning I spent with Takoda and how a part of me still wanted to recreate it, much slower this time.

this chapter is dedicated to my very good friend/vegas tour guide across shores/takoda's surrogate mom, JenniferFarwell, whose characters coincidentally happen to be in sin city right now! if you enjoy publicity stunt and need something to tide you over, she has an ongoing, second chance celeb romance on her profile (ON THE WAY DOWN), and i'm more than a little obsessed with it. i can assure you that her characters are 100% more mature than mine. thanks for the enviable parenting, Jenn! can't wait to leave you long ig texts again <3

see you guys in las vegas! i take no responsibility for whatever happens there.