"The loneliest moments in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly." 
{F. Scott Fitzgerald}

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watch the WHOLE thing please. there are audios towards the end of the video too. 
this is going to go with what's going to happen in the chapter. 

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"WHAT'S GOING ON?"

"Where am I?"

"Am I dying? Is that what this is?"

I could barely talk, my voice came out as something even below a whisper. I couldn't recognize my own voice. The Nurse leaned up to my ear. "Here's the secret baby, if you live, if you die, it's all up to you." 

Why can't anyone hear me? I'm dying?

I was pushed into a hospital room, but the doctors turned their heads around once they heard yelling. Soda.

I wanted to scream his name, but I couldn't. I couldn't even see him. I could only hear his voice. I felt him get right next to me and hold my hand. "One more thing, one more miracle for me, don't be dead." He choked out the words, and I could tell he was crying. 

How can I choose if I live or die? No one taught me how to do that. 

I got pushed into a hospital room, leaving Soda behind. I felt a small prick on my arm and immediately passed out, going into a deep sleep. 

"You know, JJ, you're my only friend. I don't know why you're so nice to me." I laughed, laying on the bed. 

The red walls made me cringe again, so I looked away, closing my eyes. 

"We're exactly the same, Lex. I'd like to think of us as unbiological siblings." JJ replied, throwing a ball into the air and catching it.

"JJ, what do you think it would be like to be in a coma?" I questioned. It was something I've wondered about my whole life. 

I felt him sit up, and I could almost imagine him putting his hand up to his chin, thinking of what it would be like. 

"I think all these flashbacks would just flood through your brain. Memories of you living. All of them would pass by you, and then once the flashbacks stop, you're either dead or alive." JJ explained. 

I opened my eyes and nodded. "I wonder what kind of flashbacks I'd have." 

JJ grinned at me. "Hopefully some good ones, Lex." 

//

"JJ, am I psycho?" I questioned with a frown on my face.

He knitted his eyebrows in confusion. "Who the hell told you that?"

"That Nurse."

He rolled his eyes. "She's just an old and cranky little bit-"

"Please don't cuss again." I interrupted him.

He started laughing and ruffled my hair. "Don't listen to her, Lex. Really, us crazy ones are the normal people. Everyone else just doesn't understand us."

"Nobody is normal." I mumbled as we continued walking behind the staircase.

//

He led me to the back room and there were tons of snacks. "Lexie, what do you like to eat?" Soda questioned as we trailed along the line of chips and other snacks.

"I'll just get some chips." I replied in a surprisingly calm voice, like I didn't just escape from a mental asylum.

Once I grabbed the bag of chips I wanted Soda led me to this table. "So, Lexie, what brings you here? I haven't seen you around, Tulsa."

Oh no.

"Y-you can't tell anyone. Promise." My voice started shaking and he looked at me worriedly.

//

One shot. 

Two shots. 

Three shots. 

Four shots. 

Five shots. 

Six shots.

"Dad, you don't have to do this!" I begged, tears falling repeatedly down my face. 

"Yes, Lexie, yes I do." 

And he pulled the trigger. 

It felt like it all went in slow motion, you know? Soda running towards me in slow motion, me falling down beside a lifeless JJ on the floor, the gang somehow getting free and running towards me. It was all a blur. It all went in slow motion. 

The police barged in and after that, it all went hazy. 

The gang and Soda were just a blur. 

Then, they weren't there. 

//

Soda

MY WHOLE LIFE changed within a pull of a trigger. We were all sitting around in the waiting room, me pacing around aimlessly. I couldn't sit down, and no one was going to tell me to. I feel like I could break at any moment. 

"Hey, Soda." Steve spoke softly, touching my shoulder. I flinched at his touch and turned around to look at him. 

"Do you want to go to my house and look at Lexie's bedroom? Maybe it will calm you down seeing some things that remind you of her." 

I shook my head. "The doctors could come back at any moment." 

Steve sighed. "Soda, the doctors are going to be in that room the whole night." 

I bit my lip and nodded, going with Steve to his truck. We drove in complete silence, but there was tons of conversation going on in our minds. 

Lexie could die.

JJ is dead. 

We pulled up to Steve's house and I rushed in the house, opening the door to Lexie's bedroom. I found myself smiling, looking at how organized her bedroom was. "It's like second nature for me to fix things." I quoted what Lexie said to me out loud when I first saw her bedroom. 

I saw a notepad laying on the bed and immediately recognized it. It was the notepad she wrote all of her lists in. 

"Let's check what her last list was." Steve suggested, sitting beside me on her bed. 

I opened up to the last page that had words written all over it, and didn't realize I was crying until my tear drop splashed onto the paper. 

She wrote a list about the things she loves about me. 

I read aloud what she wrote, my voice cracking the more I read it. "His smile, his bright blue eyes, his fluffy hair, his amazing personality, everything. I love everything about him." 

I couldn't stop crying and Steve sighed, patting my back. "She really is in love with you, Soda. She's strong. You need to be strong for her."

I nodded, wiping my tears away. "You know what my mom once said to me, Steve?"

"What?" He asked, putting her notepad on the dresser. 

"She always told me that the problem with life is, fairy-tales don't come true. It's the nightmares that always seem to become the reality."

He nodded. "It seems like all we get are nightmares."

We walked back to the truck, and I felt a little better, seeing something that reminded me of Lexie. Once we arrived back at the hospital, all of the guys stood up, a worried look on their face. 

"Soda, I'm so sorry." 

"What?" I asked, panic rising in my throat. 

"They said it would be almost impossible for her to wake up out of her coma."

//

 why is that me 24/7^^^