I know that starting off a PSA book (is this a book? I don't know, but we'll go with book for now) with such a hard-hitting topic is a little bizarre, but I think that this is something that bugs me a lot not only in work on Wattpad, but in our modern day society as well.

On that note, if this subject is triggering to you, please refrain from reading this.

What is rape?

Rape is the sexual assault of someone without their consent.

Statistically, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will be victims of rape in their lifetime.

90% of victims personally knew the people that raped them.

If that doesn't scare you, I don't know what will.

So what is consent?

It is the voluntary, continuous, sober, informed, MANDATORY mutual agreement for something to happen- in this case, sex.

WHICH MEANS that if someone doesn't specifically and willingly, and is not able to say yes to any sexual activity, it is considered rape (key words: specifically, willingly and able).

This means that if you have to convince them, it is not consent.

This means that if they're intoxicated or high, they can not consent.

This means that if they hesitate or doubt their decision, it is not okay to have sex with them.

This means that if they don't answer, it is not consent.

This means if they change their mind, you must stop.

Consent should never be assumed or expected.

Just because they "get wet" or "get hard", it doesn't mean they're consenting.

Just because they consent to one act, it doesn't mean they're consenting to all acts.

If you're dating/married/friends with benefits etc., you still need consent.

YOUR BODY = YOUR RULES. Don't let people push you around if you're not willing to do something.

Then what is rape culture, exactly?

Rape culture is a term coined by feminists in the 1970's and refers to the attitudes and actions that normalize, glorify, romanticize, tolerate, excuse and condone rape.

Basically, it's the idea that rape is okay on specific terms (note: IT'S NOT OKAY, EVER).

ANOTHER NOTE: boys can get raped too. Girls are not always the victims, and guys aren't always the offenders. Anybody, anywhere, of any gender and age, can be a victim OR an offender.

Examples of rape culture?

A) The best example of rape culture I can think of that most people can relate to is the song Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke.

I mean seriously? "I know you want it"? "Must wanna get nasty"? The lyrics are chalk full with ASSUMPTIONS that whoever he is addressing wants to "get nasty". Assuming that someone wants to get freaky with you DOESN'T MEAN THAT THEY WANT TO GET FREAKY WITH YOU.

B) Victim shaming. This is the act of blaming/humiliating someone for getting raped.

Nobody ever asks to get raped. Nobody "dresses up" thinking that someone is going to rape them. Nobody owes anybody their body for any reason. No one deserves to get treated like that by anybody.

Just because someone wears a short skirt, it isn't an excuse to rape them. Just because a guy takes his shirt off, is that an excuse to rape him? No! A person's outfit IS NOT an invitation!

If you can't control your libido because of someone's clothing choice, it's not their fault. It is YOUR fault. How someone dresses should not provoke you for acting upon your stupid hormones.

Rape is, simply put, humiliating. And yet, people still have to go through other people telling them that they "deserved it". People are not forms of entertainment that you can treat like some blow-up doll (note: this is called objectification- treating people like things, not humans).

C) Closer to where I live, at UBC (University of British Columbia), during the opening week of the fall semester, some students at the Sauder School of Business came up with the following chant as a motto for their weekly activities (I'm guessing they were put into teams and this was their song):

"Y-O-U-N-G at UBC, we like 'em young, Y is for your sister, O is for oh so tight, U is for underage, N is for no consent, G is for go to jail."

A lot of people heard these chants and CHOSE to ignore it. Ignorance is not a form of help. Telling someone about it is. The students were punished, formally apologized, and donated a good amount of money to an Anti-Rape charity (which I think is pathetic, but hey, it's better than nothing).

This story was upsetting to hear because although I don't want to get into business, I do want to attend that university for arts.

How do we contribute to rape culture?

A) On Wattpad: Let's say the Bradford Bad Boy, Zayn Malik, has a little too much to drink at a party and asks a pretty girl to follow him up to an upstairs bedroom. She says no, but he persists in asking her until she says yes because she's annoyed. Once she's there with him, she says she's uncomfortable, but he convinces her that it's okay.

HELLO??? DOES NO ONE SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THIS? Glorifying the situation by having a pop icon performing the act gives readers the excuse to think it's okay for people to do that to you.

It absolutely sickens me when the subject of rape is not presented in a bad way when I read stories on Wattpad. Young girls are reading that shit and saying "omg that's so hot!! i wish he would do that to me!!!", when in reality NOBODY should want that happen to them. People are making rape seem desirable and romantic, and it's not.

It doesn't matter how hot someone is. It doesn't matter if you like them or not. If you don't feel okay with saying yes, DON'T.

B) Everyday life: You've probably heard someone say "I totally raped that math final," at school, or "I'm gonna rape you!" while playing a video game. Our use of language has incorporated violent terms and normalize them so that they're part of everyday life. Even though they may not mean it in a malicious way, it desensitizes people to the subject because we hear about it so often.

RAPE IS WRONG? WHY DON'T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT?

We teach children from a very young age "how not to get raped"- don't wear revealing clothes, don't go out at night by yourself, don't hang out with the wrong crowd; don't, don't don't- when really, we should be teaching children not to rape.

We grow up believing what the media tells us about rape, but nobody ever tells us how traumatic and shameful it is to have been through it. Many people end up with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) or committing suicide because they can't handle what happened.

Furthermore, 97% of rapists don't even go to jail because the attacks go unreported. Some people think of it as a joke. Other people think that it's a cry for attention. Rape is serious and should always be reported, no matter how humiliated or scared you may be. Always seek help if anybody hurts you in any way.

What can we do to help?

1) Start by changing your language. Studies have proven that language is the root cause of violence (I'll be making a PSA on this later on).

2) Don't be afraid to call people out when they say things that promote, excuse, glorify or romanticize rape. Get pissed! You have a right to express your opinion! Your word may go ignored by the person you call out, but other people will hear you and think hard about what you say- trust me.

3) If someone you know has been abused in any way, tell someone. If they tell you about it, don't promise them that you won't tell someone. By telling someone, you're helping not only the victim, but anybody else that the offender tries to hurt.

Good news?

So far it's all been depressing. I'm sorry about that.

But the good news is that people are slowly becoming aware of rape culture in our societies. Pledges and rallies are held, petitions are signed, laws are being passed protecting the rights of rape victims. More and more offenders are going to jail and serving hard time for their acts. Rates are slowly going down- a sign of progress and the good in our world.

There is always hope.

Thanks for reading this extremely long and information-filled PSA. If you actually made it to the end of this boring schpiel, I congratulate you.

Sources:

http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/reporting-rates

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/ubc-investigates-frosh-students-pro-rape-chant-1.1699589

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_culture#Victim_blaming_and_slut_shaming

http://www.wavaw.ca/what-is-rape-culture/