Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 1854

Author's Note: I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

*     *     *

"And done," Y/N smiled as she threw the last strawberry into the bowl. "Now what?"

"Do you want to go sit outside?"

My hands were already shaking.

Y/N walked over to the window and looked out it. "It looks like it's going to start raining. We should probably stay in here."

"Your room then?"

I didn't really care where we sat. She just needed to know. Soon.

"Sure."

Y/N bobbed her head as she slowly made her way down the hallway towards the stairs. I followed close behind, already nervously picking at a hangnail on my thumb.

"Where's Carter?" I asked.

"On his coffee date with Marenna."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I can't wait until he gets back and tells me all about it. He hasn't been quite the same since they broke up, so I really hope that they get back together."

"That would be cool."

Y/N turned to me as we walked into her room, "Are you feeling ok, Ty? You've been weird all morning."

"Nervous."

She took a seat on the edge of her bed and gestured for me to sit next to her. Once I was settled, she pulled her legs up under her so that she could sit cross-legged.

"What are you nervous about?"

"I just have something really important to tell you."

Her eyebrows lifted slightly, "You do?"

"Yeah, but it can wait. I don't want to make things weird."

She shifted. "Ok."

Why couldn't I just tell her now?

"So, um, what now?"

I shrugged, "I'm not sure."

Y/N grabbed a grape from the bowl and popped it into her mouth. I reached over and tried to grab one, but she swatted my hand away.

"You told me you didn't want any fruit!" she laughed.

"Then I saw your fruit and changed my mind," I said, already reaching for it again.

She sighed and held the bowl out towards me, allowing me the choice of whatever fruit I wanted. I grabbed a nice strawberry and a couple grapes.

"Tyler!" she groaned.

"What did I do now?"

"Stole the strawberry that I was looking forward to!"

The way she said that made me smile. It was the first genuine smile that had been on my face all day.

"Should have moved faster."

"Ty-ler!" she said, drawing out the end.

I took a bite out of half of the strawberry before holding it out towards her, "Still want it?"

She contemplated it for a moment, started to reach for it, and then stopped suddenly.

"Nope, I can't. I thought I would be able to eat it, but..." Her nose scrunched up. "I can't."

My smile faltered once again as I thought about the confession I had to make. My stomach was twisting in discomfort, and I was beginning to think that I should just tell her now to get rid of all the nerves.

"Ty?"

"Huh?"

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Um, yeah."

"You were staring at the ground for awhile there."

"Was I?"

I reached over to grab another piece of fruit, but my hand hit the bottom of the bowl. Maybe I had been spaced out longer than I thought.

"Yes," she answered. Her mouth curled up into the slightest hint of a smile. "Do you want to talk about what's going on?"

I reached up and ran my hand through my hair, twisting a couple strands around my index finger. That haircut was still badly needed.

"Um, yeah. Yeah, let's talk about it."

Y/N leaned over me for a moment so that she could set her empty bowl on the bedside table. I inhaled sharply when her arm brushed against mine, but hoped she didn't notice. Not that it would matter much longer, anyway.

"What's up?" Y/N asked, folding her hands in her lap as she did so.

I took a moment to just look at her face. Her expression was blank, although I could tell by the way that she was looking at me that she was worried. She had never been very good at hiding that.

It took me a moment to actually get any words out of my mouth. My brain was too busy trying to think of the right way to tell her. Eventually, it settled on simply blurting it all out.

"I'm leaving."

She blinked a couple times, face falling as she did so. Her eyes were looking everywhere but at mine.

"What do you mean?"

She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and began to chew on it.

"Our label wants us to do a tour before we release the next album. We leave next week."

She swallowed, "How long will you be gone?"

"Three months."

"Three months?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be right back."

Y/N grabbed her bowl from the table and disappeared, shutting the door behind her. She still hadn't looked at me. Maybe telling her now hadn't been such a good idea. The nerves had just been replaced by a different kind of discomfort.

She came back upstairs a few minutes later. I could tell that she had been crying, although she tried to hide it. There was nothing I wanted more than to reach out and hug her, but it felt... wrong.

"We should do something. You know, before you leave."

"Like what?"

She took a deep breath, "Like, um, you know... we can make it like a movie. Our last hurrah before you're gone for three months."

Three months. I didn't like the way it sounded when she said it.

"Yeah. Like a movie," I repeated.

Y/N paused for a moment. She still wouldn't meet my eyes.

"You really leave in a week, huh?"

"Yeah."

"When did you find out?"

"Just a few days ago. Right after we got signed."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

She shook her head, "You told me at the right time."

"Are you sure?"

Another pause. "Yes."

Y/N finally met my eyes and forced a smile. I know she was trying to reassure me, but I could tell that it was hard for her not to cry. Well, cry more than she already had.

It was the same way I was feeling right now.

*      *     *

"I told her," I said as I scooped some pasta into a bowl.

"Told her what?" Josh asked from the other side of the counter.

"That we're leaving."

"How did she take it?"

I shrugged, "About as well as you'd expect."

"How are you taking it?"

"Bad."

I grabbed a fork and carried my lunch into the living room. Josh followed after me, carrying his own food. We sat down on the couch. He turned on the TV, but it wasn't really for anything except background noise.

"Bad?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sure this whole situation isn't as bad as you think."

"You didn't see the look on her face, Josh."

He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself.

"Just think about it: Y/N is my support system and vice versa. How are we supposed to help each other when we're hundreds of miles apart?"

"It might not be that bad!" Josh offered. "This is our first tour; we have no idea what anything is going to be like. Besides, there's always FaceTime and texting."

"I guess."

"And it's only three months. It's not like we're leaving for a year with no means of communication or anything."

"You're right."

I poked around at my pasta. Josh trying to put a positive spin on the whole tour situation wasn't really doing much besides making me feel worse.

"Are you going to tell her how you feel before we leave?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, "I hadn't even thought about that."

"It might be a good opportunity. I mean, that way if she rejects you, then you don't have to face her for three months."

"Oh man."

Josh reached over and patted me on the shoulder, "Come on, rejection isn't that bad!"

"No, it's not that. Can we just focus on something else?" I asked. "I don't want to think about leaving right now."

"Sure. Um, you want to hear about that date I went on the other day?"

"Yeah."

Josh spent the next twenty minutes detailing the awful date he had been on the week before, which was a nice distraction from thinking about Y/N. It even managed to put a smile on my face, which had been a rare occurrence today.

"I take it you won't be going on a second date?" I asked as I fished the final noodle out of my bowl.

"No way. I don't even want to randomly bump into her on the street again."

"That won't be a problem much longer," I sighed.

Josh placed a hand on my shoulder, "Come on, man. Let's play some video games or something to get your mind off of this."

"Good idea."

Josh worked on setting up Mario Kart while I carried the dishes into the kitchen. I didn't bother washing them yet, I could just get them all done once I finished making dinner. When I returned to the living room, Josh was waiting for me with two controllers in his hands.

"Think we can play Mario Kart on a van?" he asked.

"If we're dedicated enough," I laughed.

"Agreed."

Mario Kart. That's all I needed to worry about for now.

*      *      *

2:45 am.

That's what the clock on the bedside table said.

I still hadn't fallen asleep.

I threw the covers off of me and walked out to the kitchen. The dirty dishes from lunch with Josh were still in the sink, half full of water. Those would have to be done tomorrow. Maybe. If I ever got sleep.

I grabbed a clean glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. The faucet seemed loud compared to my silent apartment. Water splashed onto my hand. I wiped it off on my sweatpants.

Dim moonlight was filtering in through the window on the far side of the room, so I slowly wandered over to stand in it. A few cars were driving by on the street outside, their bright headlights illuminating the paint on the road in front of them. I wondered what anyone else would be doing up at this hour.

The water was cold against the back of my throat as I chugged half of the glass. It hurt just enough to distract me from all of the thoughts that had kept me from falling asleep for the last few hours, even if just for a moment. Maybe Y/N's suggestion of changing my sleep schedule wouldn't be such a bad idea, after all.

Y/N.

There she was, making her way through my thoughts again. I couldn't get the picture of her face after I told her I was leaving out of my head. She had looked so upset, but I knew there was nothing I could do. Nothing that I could tell her that would make the pain go away. I was leaving and that was that.

Sometimes I wondered if it was the right choice.