Warnings: Self-doubt

Word Count: 1847

Author's Note: I have nothing interesting to say yet again, so enjoy the chapter!

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"No, that's bad."

I ripped the page out of my notebook and crumpled it up in my hand before adding it to the growing pile of paper at the side of my keyboard. My entire morning had been spent trying countless melodies and lyrics and I still had nothing good to show for it.

"It's all bad," I mumbled. "I can't create anything good."

I leaned forward and buried my face in my hands. There had to be something in decent in my head, buried under all the terrible ideas.

"Come on."

I moved my hands to the back my head and twirled my fingers in my hair. There had to be something. Anything.

Nope. Nothing.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Y/N, hoping that she would pick up. She would be able to stop me from this downward spiral. Y/N was good at that.

"Hello?"

"Hi. What are you doing right now?"

"I'm with Carter. What's going on?"

"I was just wondering if you could come over. I've been trying to write all morning but I'm stuck and I don't really want to be alone right now."

"Yeah, I'll be over as soon as I can."

"Thanks."

"Take care of yourself, Ty."

I hung up the call and set my phone down on my keyboard. Now all I had to do was keep myself busy until Y/N showed up. She didn't live far, but I had called on short notice so she would have to get all her things together, which wasn't exactly one of her strong suits. Y/N always liked to be over-prepared for everything.

I cleaned up the pile of papers and tossed them into the recycling bin, just so there wouldn't be a mess when she showed up. There were a couple other things lying around - mostly wrappers and a plate that I had been too lazy to get up and put away the night before - so I decided to clean those up too. Y/N had seen the apartment in worse states, but it was always nice to make a little effort for her.

Y/N showed up about ten minutes after I had called her. Cleaning had helped me a little, but self-doubt was still swirling around my mind. I was thankful that she was willing to come over and help me.

"Hey, Ty," she smiled as I opened the door.

"Hey."

She stepped inside and set her stuff by the door, wasting no time in kicking her shoes off next to it. I shuffled back towards the couch and got settled on one end of it, leaving plenty of room for Y/N to sit next to me.

"Do you mind if I grab something to drink?" she asked. "I jogged up the stairs."

"Help yourself."

Y/N rummaged around in the fridge for a moment before taking a seat on the couch with two drinks in her hands. She handed one of them to me.

"I'm not thirsty."

"Come on, Ty. It will make you feel a little better."

She wasn't wrong. With a shrug, I grabbed the can from her and popped the top open before taking a long drink. I had to admit, even that small gesture had already lifted my spirits a bit.

"So what's going on with you?" she asked as she popped open her own drink.

"It's all this songwriting stuff. I've been trying all morning to just get something down but I end up hating everything."

"You just finished an album, you know. It's ok to take a break."

I slowly shook my head, "There's always the next album."

"Do you have any of the stuff that you wrote today?"

"I tossed all of it."

"What, in the recycling?"

"Yeah."

Y/N set her drink down and walked into the kitchen. When she returned, she was holding the crumpled pages in the bottom of her shirt like a little basket.

"There were too many for my hands," she laughed, letting them all fall onto the couch.

She took a seat behind all the crumpled pages. I didn't even want to look at them, but Y/N slowly began to smooth them out so they were sitting in a neat stack. Once they were all laid out, she began to flip through them. Her lips moved a little as she read over the words.

She looked up at me, "Why do you hate these? These are really good, Tyler."

"They're not."

"They are! This line right here, 'The sun will rise and we will try again', that's really good! That resonates with people."

"You don't think it's dumb?"

"No. Do you know how many people need to hear that?"

"Too bad not that many people will."

She set the pages down on the coffee table and scooted closer to me.

"The only way that people aren't going to hear your lyrics is if you keep tossing them in the recycling bin instead of using something. Haven't you said yourself that you need to push through the droughts?"

"Hey, don't use my words against me," I smiled, finally looking up to meet her eyes.

"Sometimes you have to follow your own advice."

"I hate when you're right."

She reached out and patted my shoulder, "You'll get over it."

Y/N had a point, even if I didn't want her to. Sometimes I didn't know what I would do without her, besides just not knowing what to buy at the grocery store. She had been my support system since day one. It was like she always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better, no matter what had me in my head.

"So are you going to keep these? Because if you don't, then I will."

I reached a hand out and Y/N passed the pages to me. Upon second glance, some of the stuff that I had come up with did seem usable.

"I think I'll keep them. Thanks for digging these out of the recycling for me."

"It was the least I could do, although you may want to take that out soon, Ty. It's beginning to overflow," she giggled.

I folded up the pages and stuck them in my music folder with all the other half-finished songs. Who knows, maybe they would come in handy someday.

"Alright, now let's do something to give your brain a break. What do you think we should do?"

"Um, go on a walk?" I suggested.

"Perfect. Let's go."

Y/N wasted no time in getting off the couch and pulling her shoes on. I, on the other hand, took a little longer to find my beat-up Vans and pull them on. She was waiting by the door when I finally emerged from my room.

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

I grabbed my keys from beside the door and together the two of us headed down the stairs and out onto the street. There was a park not too far from where I lived, so we headed that way.

"How's school going?" I asked, hoping to keep the conversation off of me for awhile.

"Fine," she shrugged. "The term is ending soon which means there's a lot of studying to do and then I get a whole new batch of classes."

"Are you excited?"

"I mean, as excited as you can be for school."

"Yeah, that makes sense."

Y/N pulled the sleeves on her sweatshirt down over her hands. It was a bit cold today, as it often was in mid-March, but the sun was still shining.

"Um, so about earlier-" I started.

"Hey, we're not talking about that right now, remember?"

"It's not about the music. I promise."

"Ok."

"I just wanted to say thank you for being so willing to come over and spend time with me, especially since you were with your brother. It means a lot to me."

Y/N walked a little closer to me so that she could gently bump her shoulder with mine, "I'm always going to be here for you, Ty. You know I would do anything."

"Yeah, well, I'm still going to thank you for it every time. Not a lot of people would do that kind of thing for their friends."

Friends. Why had I chosen that word?

"Right," she smiled, stepping away from me again. "I know you would do the same for me, should the situation arise."

"Of course."

Y/N nodded and idly kicked at a rock on the sidewalk. Her shoe scuffed against the pavement.

"What are your plans for the next week?" I asked.

She laughed. It sounded nice.

"You mean besides studying? Probably spending time with Carter. Spending time with you. Oh, and I have a lunch with my grandparents on Saturday. Other than that, just try not to completely break down before finals week."

"If you ever need a study break, you know who to call," I said, hoping it would cheer her up.

"I'm sure you'll be getting a call every night."

"I don't mind."

Y/N turned to me and raised an eyebrow. I simply smiled at her before turning to look at the pavement.

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We ended up walking through the park for close to an hour, enjoying the bits of sunshine and just talking about things that had been on our minds lately. Y/N talked about school and she finally let me talk about music a little more. It was a nice opportunity to get some things off my chest that I had been bottling up for awhile.

"I should probably get going," Y/N announced as we reached my building. "My mom is working late again tonight and there's no way Carter is going to be able to make himself dinner."

"Sounds like an exciting night for you," I smiled.

"Oh yeah, I love taking care of my older brother. You would think that by 22 he would have a better idea of how to do basic tasks."

"Who knows? At the rate I'm going, I'll be the same way."

Y/N sighed, "Not if I can help it."

"Ok, well, drive safe."

I held my arms out and Y/N happily accepted my hug. She held onto me tightly, swaying me ever so slightly as she did so.

"Take care of yourself, Ty. And call me if something else comes up."

"I will, I promise."

She pulled away from the hug, gave me one final smile, and started to walk off to where she had parked her car. I waited until she had rounded the corner before I walked into the building and headed up to my apartment.

It was hard to believe that I had gotten lucky enough to have someone like Y/N in my life. Ever since we had first met when we were freshmen, we had basically been inseparable. Sometimes I wondered what it would be like if we were dating. Her feelings for me were already there, the only issue was that I didn't feel the same about her.

Well... maybe that wasn't entirely accurate.