The following Spring

Shaun pulled into the precinct, and hopped out of the cruiser he'd been assigned for the day, plopping his Stetson back on his head with weariness. It was an uncommonly hot day, and he did not want to wear it, or his full kit. He stretched, looking around at the cruisers coming in. Shift change was upon them.

The radio on his shoulder beeped, and he turned it down, irritated. It had been another long morning, followed by two hours of traffic duty, subbing in for a cruiser with a rad leak. He wanted to be done. With his luck this morning, he would be asked to pull a double, and he hesitated before swinging through the door. He looked over at the shift board as he passed the admin desk, and groaned. His instinct was right.

"King," Jenkins saluted, as Shaun sat down at the shift desk. "You in for the evening?"

"Looks like I'm on-call. Double."

"Nice. Jess still up the mountain?"

Shaun nodded, and opened his laptop up, plugging it into the dock. While he was waiting for duty rotation, he could get some paperwork done, at least. His admin duties had tripled now that he was supervising all the tactical team training as well as covering rotation. Three days a month of exercises meant at least double that in paperwork, budgeting, meetings... It was never-ending.

Vern had told him if he kept it up, he'd be riding a desk full-time. Shaun had told him if that happened, he'd quit and join Jess with the Search and Rescue team. It was a running joke, but Vern had been his number one support after they'd come off the mountain last fall. He owed his chief a lot. The mess of the investigation, and the clean up from Mary's run and subsequent capture had been a nightmare for them to untangle and clear through Internal Affairs. He had been on the edge of his seat for weeks, worried his conduct would be misconstrued and he'd lose his badge. That being with Jess, the choices he'd made because of that reflecting poorly. But Vern, Mack, and Lewis had all stood behind him. It had been a welcome surprise.

His thoughts turned back to Jess. He was so proud of her. She'd been offered a position with a private Search and Rescue contractor that worked out of the next town after last Fall, when word got out how well she knew the area and was adept at reading the land. So far, she'd assisted on three ops with her horses, locating missing people, most of them hikers lost off their route and not checking in on time. This one had been difficult, the melt off the mountains making for some really slippery going in the high grounds.

She loved it, and it was her calling. He'd seen it that day in the command tent before they'd headed up to Truck Rock.

He opened his email, and there was one from Jess from earlier in the morning. He clicked, hoping it meant she was coming home. He hadn't seen her in three days, and he was missing her like mad.

Heya,

We've located the hikers just past Harper Valley. Choppered out. I'm heading down with the horses, should be home by mid-afternoon.

Miss you,

J

"Dammit," Shaun swore. That double-shift was now a massive inconvenience.

It had only been a few months of them properly 'dating', but the depth of how he felt was stronger than he could have imagined. Even though they'd started out fast, and under circumstances that would make anyone crazy, they'd settled into a relationship that didn't feel tame compared to the beginning.

He still felt like he did that night at Truck Rock when he'd looked into her eyes and blurted that he loved her. Every damned day he was with her he felt like the luckiest man in the world.

He wanted to make it permanent, but he was biding his time. She was still healing from everything that had happened, and she would pull away from him often. He'd give her space, since it was all he could do. It was tough for him to stay calm and accepting sometimes, but grief was not a straightforward process.

He had talked at length with the counselor on the force about Jess. He thought she was comparing herself to her mother, wondering if shooting her had been a sign she would end up the same, and scaring herself. She would bottle herself up when something about the shooting came up, retreating behind chores, a ride, time alone.

The counselor had agreed with him, but also said it was up to Jess to figure that out, and not to push her to get help unless she started being a danger to herself. She talked about PTSD, sent him a bunch of articles he'd sort of read, most of it gobbeldy-gook he couldn't really understand.

From day one, he'd known that Jess didn't open herself up easily. He'd been privileged to have her do so a few times. It would happen. He just had to love her through it. Which he did. Or tried. Sometimes he felt like he was failing her, because it had been months and it seemed like she hadn't processed or dealt with it other than to shove it away.

Jenkins sat down at the desk opposite him, munching on a pastry of some kind, and looked curiously at him. "You okay?"

"Yeah. They found the hikers. Jess'll be home today," he said, blinking, coming out of his thoughts.

"I'll cover your double. Let Verna know," Jenkins said, focusing on his screen. "I need the extra pay. Michelle wants to celebrate our 'Monthiversary', which means 'Tom spends money'."

"Thanks Tom. Going well with her, then?"

Jenkins nodded and grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. "Gotta thank your girl again for introducing us. Apparently she'd always wanted to date a cop."

Shaun chuckled and went to find Verna. He was going to book tomorrow off too, if he could.

Maybe it was time to stop waiting.

-----

He pulled into the farm around four, waving at Kevin who was on the front veranda, his leg still propped out in front of him, a jumbled pile of leather beside him. Jess had him cleaning her tack, likely to keep him out of the barn and off his feet. Shaun chuckled.

Ever since Lassiter Lake, Kevin had slowed down a bit. Three surgeries on his knee meant he was still recovering full use of the leg. He had insisted on riding as soon as possible, and not even Gertie could get him to let someone else handle feeding the horses. Jess had been so frustrated by her uncle, and there were times she just threw up her hands and said "THAT man!" and walked away.

But at night, she would be the one to get him the special back pillow for his chair, and would bring him his night-time tea, and would fuss over him. He'd sat many evenings in the living room while she did just that, and if she left the room, he and Kevin would share a look. They both understood each other's need for patience with a woman they both cared deeply about.

Jess had a hard time accepting what had happened, what her uncle had sacrificed to save both her and Shaun. She forgave him immediately, there was nothing else that could have been done, but she grappled with the immense guilt she carried for what had happened to her mother. It manifested in worry even when she left for a search and rescue op. She would worry about her uncle, Shaun would worry about her, and Gertie worried about everyone.

Kevin had barely talked about it, but Shaun knew it had been a tough few months for him as well. He'd offered to set them up with a grief counselor, through the force, but Kevin never followed up. Which Shaun expected. He'd shot his sister. Not easy to get over, in any stretch, but just like his niece, pushing would do nothing but clam him up.

There had been no charges that came out of Mary dying, and any charges against Kevin had been dropped. Jess had been praised, along with her uncle, and Shaun, for apprehending a wanted mass murderer. Jess had turtled under all the attention and Kevin stomped around, grumpy and terse until it died down.

He hopped out of his truck, a six-pack of beer in his hand. He handed it over to Kevin as he stepped up, and sat in the deck chair beside him.

"Cleaning duty?"

Kevin grunted and put his cloth down to open a beer, handing one to Shaun. They sat in companionable silence, both of them looking out over the front yard. The grass was starting to emerge, the daffodils shooting out in clumps from the flower beds, the trees tingeing light green, budding out.

"Gonna be a good year this year, lots of rain," Kevin remarked.

"You planting soybeans or corn?" Shaun asked.

"Neither."

Shaun looked over at Kevin, surprised, and the older man turned his head to look at him. "Got somethin' I want to talk to you about."

Shaun set his beer down and folded his hands, waiting. Since last Fall, he'd developed a true friendship with Jess's aunt and uncle. He'd brought his parents out to meet them just after Christmas, when he'd introduced them to Jess. His parents had hit it off well with Kevin and Gertie. Shaun had dragged Jess off to his place and left them the first night, playing euchre, drinking Long Island Iced Teas, hysterical with laughter. Peas in a pod.

He'd already talked to Kevin and Gertie together about asking Jess to marry him. It had gone well, and Gertie had covered him in kisses when she hugged him harder than she'd ever done before. That had been just after Christmas too. Kevin asked once when he planned on asking, and Shaun had just said "Not yet. She needs time."

So they all waited.

"I think it's time to scale back operations here," Kevin started. "With Jess workin' with the rescue team and takin' on more trainin' here, she's full up."

"Yeah. She keeps herself busy," Shaun said. She'd done it purposely, as a distraction. The nightmares weren't often, but he would slide his arms around her in the dark when she stiffened and clawed out, whimpering. The next day, she would suit up early, and be gone all day.

He'd decided to ask her to come to counseling with him after the first nightmare, because it was helping him. Despite what the counselor had said, he encouraged Jess to talk to someone.

It had been a hard sell, she didn't want to talk to a stranger about her mother, father, or the shootings. She'd gone to a couple of sessions, but canceled the rest, saying she was swamped with her uncle being out of commission.

"Gertie and I are thinkin' about retirement, son."

"Have you talked to her about this?" he asked. This was possibly huge. If he was retiring, would Jess want to take it all on, both physically and financially? It was a lot to swallow. "Does the place make enough to run?"

Kevin grunted and nodded. "Seems it might. We've still got the beef cattle, and Jess said she could bring in boarders. We can lease out the crop fields."

Shaun took another sip of his beer and squinted out, his mind turning. It would be a lot for one person. Jess could handle it, of course, but with her new job, maybe not.

"So what does Jess think?" he asked finally.

"What does Jess think about what?" came the reply from the door.

Shaun looked over and Jess was standing in the doorway, freshly showered, her hair still wet, tank top, jeans and bare toes poking out. His chest expanded, the relief at seeing her flooding him. He got up, set his beer down and swept her up into his arms, holding her close, the fruity scent of her shampoo intoxicating.

"I missed you," he whispered into her ear, and pulled back, kissing her soundly before letting her go. She sighed happily and smiled.

"Me too," she said. "Now what's this about me? You two schemin' behind my back?"

Shaun chuckled, sat back in the deck chair, and Jess sank onto his lap, an arm around his neck, leaning into him. It felt good to hold her again. The past few days had been tough, his bed empty, the space she took up beside him cold.

"No. Your uncle was talking to me about retiring."

Jess raised her eyebrows and looked over at her uncle. "You talked to him already?"

"Well, yeah. He's got a right to know. Changes things."

Jess was playing with the hair at the back of his neck, and it was making it hard to concentrate. He ran his hand up and down her thigh, and she smiled wickedly, moving her fingers further up his scalp. She knew that was like throwing gas on a fire, and he cleared his throat and shifted.

"It does. Have you told him everything, or just that you're retiring?"

Kevin took another long sip from the beer bottle and then pointed it at them, shaking it softly. "I hadn't got any further, you interrupted."

Shaun looked between them, and he sensed they had talked a lot more about this than they let on. Jess was now rubbing circles through his hair, and he let out a sigh and closed his eyes, attempting to calm his raging libido that was threatening to make him pick her up and drag her off to the hay loft, or the tack room, or...

"Here it is. My dad had a life insurance policy," she said, her hand stilling. "I had the insurance guy visit me a couple weeks ago. Wasn't sure what, if anything would come out of it."

"Really? Why didn't you tell me?" Shaun said, a bit hurt. They normally didn't keep things from each other.

"I, ahh—" she stuttered, then thinned her lips. "I wasn't sure I would take the payout, and I didn't want to burden you with all the crap it dredged up."

He nodded. She'd done one of her silent clam-ups around then, he remembered. She'd ridden out one morning early, before he'd woken up, after spending the night at the farm. He'd left her a note with a hastily plucked fistful of bluebells on the pillow when he'd gone off to work, telling her to come see him when she was ready. She'd been restless the night before and with her early departure from bed, he got the hint. Two days later she'd shown up at his place, jumped him the moment he'd opened the door. They broke the kitchen table that night.

"So this settlement, its—"

"Big. Enough to settle out all the debts on this place and then some," she said quietly. "I've given it to aunt and uncle."

"I seen" he said slowly, and put his forehead to hers. "Jess..."

"I'm fine," she growled playfully at him, and they smiled at one another.

Kevin cleared his throat and they turned to him.

"Gertie and I are gonna buy one of those camper things. We want to travel, once my bum knee is better. We're thinking maybe seein' some friends that moved to Ontario, maybe even go see some places we've never been, like Florida, or Texas."

"That will be an adjustment," Shaun said, blinking. "You sure you won't miss this place, the horses?"

"Been at this a long time, son," Kevin said. "Last Fall put things into perspective."

Shaun stared down at his beer, understanding completely. They sat in silence, the weight of that statement heavy. Jess hopped off Shaun's lap and smiled after a moment, pulling on Shaun's hand.

"Come on. No decisions have been made yet. There's time. Right now, I want some time with you."

Shaun watched her eyes, seeing the sadness masked behind the bravado, and he followed her. He saluted Kevin as they went through the door. Kevin grunted, and picked his cloth back up. Shaun sensed he had wanted to talk to him in private.

He'd catch him soon and they could finish the conversation. But right now, he had a beautiful woman he wanted to get naked.