TW; this chapter contains mentions of attempted suicide
-

When a new case came teetering across the wire that morning, Melanie was the first, and only, one out of the team to volunteer to take the details into Liv. On any other day, she wouldn't have. She'd have simply leaned back in her chair, watching happily, with her feet up on her desk, as Carisi was forced to get up from his and begrudgingly deliver the news himself.

However today...things were a little different than usual.

For starters, Carisi wasn't even at his desk in order to be forced to stand up from it. He was still hiding in the break room with Rollins and Fin, after they'd all been quick to make a point of not wanting to be in the bullpen when Chief Dodds inevitably came strolling in with the new Sergeant in tow. And it wasn't because they were nervous around William. Or partially reluctant to meet Mike after having asked about him once, only to then have Melanie snap furiously at them and warn them what would happen should they do so again. No, it was simply because of one thing and one thing only...

Fear.

That's right. All three of those big brave detectives were cowering simply because of their shared, deep-seated, and anxiety induced fear over finally seeing how Melanie would react to having her brother walk in, as they had no clue that the twins had made up the other day. If they did, then there wouldn't be any need for them to be hiding in the break room, metaphorically shaking in their boots over the possibility of World War Three breaking out in the squad room... which, if we're being totally honest here, may have been entirely Melanie's purposefully planned out fault.

She had been fully intending on telling them the truth, honestly, she had been...but then she'd overheard them last night, at Rollins' baby shower. After they'd all learned that Mike would be joining the team in the morning, she'd stumbled across the three of them all huddled together in the corner, 'deducing' with one another over how Mike, a cop who'd never worked a day of sex crimes in his life, could have possibly gotten this job on such short notice, and if she was telling the truth, that pissed her off even more than her desk duty did. 

As if Mike didn't get this job the exact same way she did: through hard work and determination, which had absolutely nothing, whatsoever, to do with their father as neither of them needed him to pull any strings to get to where they were. And okay, yes, William might have put Mike's name into the hat for the Sergeant's position, but it wasn't him who made the final decision as to the winner. That was the role of the higher ups, and they wouldn't have picked Mike had they not found him impressive and qualified enough for the job, and it was because of that...

Because of the audacity they had to form a childish little gossiping session to talk about her brother, that Melanie had been rather happy to keep her co-workers on edge that morning, as maybe then they'd think twice about ever pulling the nepotism card out of that deck of answers again.

But anyway, minor revenge plotting aside and getting back to the present day situation, the sole reason as to why Melanie was the first one to volunteer to take the case into Liv was because it was Mike's first day at SVU. And I know what you're thinking, why would that encourage her to actually want to do her job considering she may lose it? Well I'll tell you why, and it's simple really... You see, when William first came waltzing into the precinct with Mike in tow, Melanie had been all for getting in on the introductions with Liv, as who better to talk Mike up other than his literal other half who wanted nothing more than for him to feel welcome?

At least, that's what she been thinking to herself all morning but apparently, for some eye-twitchingly annoying reason, William hadn't agreed with her thus resulting in him being far too quick to forbid — that's right, you read correctly, forbid her from so much as being near Liv's office for the duration of those nicety introductions... And if that didn't piss her off more than her gossiping co-workers did, then Lord knows what would, so you can see why Melanie was rather glad to finally get an excuse to interrupt things.

"Hey," Melanie said as she poked her head around the office door, watching as her dad and brother turned away from Liv, and spun, unsurprisingly, on their heels towards her, "Sorry to interrupt."

"No you're not," Both William and Mike said in unison.

"You're right, I'm not," Melanie grinned, earning two sets of rolled eyes as she entered the office properly, waving a small post-it note between her fingers. "But I did just catch a case."

"Did you now?" William questioned suspiciously, his eyebrow raising as it seems oddly coincidental that she'd catch a case only moments after being told to stay outside. "That's convenient."

"Isn't it?" Melanie answered humorously, her grin only widening with pure sarcasm as she stepped even further into the office, ignoring Mike's quiet chuckles from beside her and focusing solely on her dad's intense sceptical glare. "If you don't believe me, daddy, you can ask the desk Sergeant."

"Just..." William sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he grew to regret bringing Mike in himself. "What's the case, Melanie?"

"Oh, I'm so glad you asked," Melanie replied chipperly, even despite the next few words she was about to say as she could never not find great pleasure in exhausting her dad. Or her Lieutenant. Her tone did fall serious rather quickly, though, as she glanced down at the note in her hand...The one she hadn't even read herself yet as she'd been too eager to interrupt their meeting. "Oh what do you know, it's the Park Milano hotel. Again..."

At that, it was Liv's turn to sigh as...when was it not? That place should be shut down if you ask her, but alas she didn't have the power to do so and instead could only investigate the crimes after they'd happened.

Speaking of which... back to Melanie.

"According to this, Alessandra Bay, the lead violinist for this group Belle Donne, was assaulted there in her room last night," Melanie read aloud, giving them a brief glimpse of the post-it note before dropping her hand back down to her side and sharing hopeful glances between her dad and brother. "Now here's a fun idea I only just thought of... What do you say all three of us go check it out? Call it a...family day out?"

"You're on desk duty, Melanie," William so rudely reminded her, all but shattering her newly formed dream of starring in a live-action family game of cluedo. "And that means staying at your desk."

"Oh, come on," Melanie complained, "It's a four star hotel... And you'd be there. What trouble could I possibly get myself into?"

A lot probably, as having her dad around only seemed to exacerbate her need for chaos.

"I dread to even think about the answer to that question," William said, to which Mike and Liv were far too eager to agree with their smug little head nods and eyebrow raises.

Rude, Melanie thought to herself, she wasn't that bad. And also, since when had her dad and Liv become such a close knit duo in the team up on Melanie club? Last she checked, Liv didn't even like her dad yet now she was going against her and happily backing him up? What's next? Matching t-shirts?

"You'd get yourself into trouble in a padded room, if you tried hard enough," William continued, much to Melanie's evergrowing annoyance. 

"Perhaps she should," Mike muttered, unable to stop himself from participating when the moment arose so perfectly in front of him. "I've always wondered what she'd look like in a straight jacket."

"Oh," Melanie shook her head, drawing her tongue over her back teeth as she laughed dryly, "If you two keep it up I'm going to start lighting things on fire."

"Okay, why don't we all just...relax for a second?" Liv interrupted swiftly as she held out her hand, stepping, wide-eyed, out from behind her desk and feeling like she was suddenly working in a daycare centre — with Chief Dodds as one of the kids and she never thought she'd ever have to say that to herself.

But turns out, to her utmost surprise and complete and utter shock, there was a lot more personality behind his hard outer shell than she ever thought she'd see and honestly... if this was how a brief second in her office was with the three of them together then she'd hate to imagine what the holidays were like.

Mayhem, Liv. The Dodds' family holidays were absolute mayhem, and you should feel incredibly thankful that all three of them were forced to put their guns on the gun table before their gingerbread house competitions began at Christmas. Otherwise... you don't even want to imagine how things would end up.

Anyway, brushing those harrowing thoughts aside, Liv carried on and suggested, carefully, "Mel, why don't you stay here with your brother and hold down the fort? Maybe show him around? Get him settled." 

At the partial humour that unintentionally danced in Liv's eyes at the idea of her playing tour guide instead of detective, Melanie's face scrunched up in both disgust and disbelief. A tour guide? A frickin' tour guide ? That's how Liv wanted her to spend her morning? What's next? Getting demoted to secretary and spending the rest of her days making coffee and printing copies for everyone until the patience-testing printer caused her to throw it and herself into oncoming traffic?

She would rather be fired and sent to jail than ever do that, and with that in mind, alongside a sense of aggravation bubbling in her veins, Melanie stepped further into the office and opened her mouth. She was about to speak, to voice her very explicit opinion on where each and every one of them could shove that idea, but before she could her dad cut her off... Which was probably, and to Melanie's own personal vexation as she knew it was right, for the best. 

"Better idea," William cleared his throat, stepping subtly in front of Melanie as though shielding the others should her fuse run out and she explode like a firecracker. He then turned his attention to Liv, where he didn't so much as ask, more like suggest... For all their sakes, "Why don't you take Mike with you?"

"Yeah," Mike agreed happily, "No better time to learn than the present."

Kiss ass, Melanie said to herself yet she still turned her attention eagerly towards Liv, who looked a little ...uncertain, almost, about the situation. Hesitant, too. Perhaps even intimidated as well, whether it be from Melanie's sharp glare trying to force her to say no, William's demanding eyes trying to force her to say yes, or Mike's blank look as he contemplated his whole entire life, no one really knew.

And neither did Liv, honestly. All she knew, unfortunately, was that she felt incredibly outnumbered. Overwhelmed , even, as there were far too many Dodds' in her office than she was beginning to like and if she could, she'd do whatever it took to get rid of them.

And so, she smiled, "Okay, then."

Mike was going with her...great, Melanie thought to herself. This was just...perfect. Exactly how she wanted her day to go, what with her newbie brother being allowed to get straight into action whilst she had to return to her desk and...type? Is that what she was supposed to do with her day? Type things? Maybe... Probably, actually, but honestly most of the time she was on desk duty she just ended up playing Papa's Pizzeria all day until it was time to go home.

"Son," William began, clasping Mike's shoulders supportively as they began to follow Liv out of the office, with Melanie trailing begrudgingly behind them. "You know what they say... Sink or swim."

Swallowing, Mike nodded semi-confidently and made his move to cross the squad room after Liv, Fin and Carisi, with such an added swagger to his otherwise normal walk that Melanie simply couldn't bring herself to ignore it. 

"Aw, look at him. Acting all confident," she said tauntingly, leaning back against the door frame and watching as Mike's posture suddenly stiffened a little. Clearly he'd heard her, whether with his ears or his twin-mind, who knew...But luckily for her he was gone by the time she added, "Almost makes me want to loosen the screws on his chair."

"Melanie."

"What?" Melanie said innocently, fighting against the scheming smirk that wanted to rise on her face at William's fatherly tone. She'd forgotten he was still there. "I said almost ."

"Hmm," William hummed sceptically, narrowing his eyes towards her and watching as she tilted her head, smiling at him all sweet and childlike.

Hell, she was practically batting her eyelashes at him as she showboated her innocence and if that wasn't a sole cause for him to check Mike's chair for any signs of sabotage, then lord knows what was.

Nevertheless, he shrugged it off as nothing more than wishful thinking and stepped towards her, patting Melanie on the shoulder with enough force that it dipped beneath him, "Now, my darling daughter, if you'd like to come with me." 

"To where?" Melanie asked, pushing herself off the door frame as the excitement brewed inside her over the thought that maybe she wouldn't have to spend the whole day making pizza for pixelated characters, after all.

That was, until William's lips curled into an all too telling smile and he replied happily, "To your desk. Where you're going to stay until the very end of the day."

"Yeah," Melanie scoffed, deflating like a balloon and allowing her dad to swivel her around where she stood, facing her directly towards her desk. "If I don't kill myself first."

As she folded her arm across her chest, she fully expected her dad to then guide her across the room and back to her desk, where he'd all but have to force her knees to bend so he could shove her down into her seat and handcuff her there. But instead, to her confusion, all he did was remain still behind her, with his hands placed loosely on her shoulders and not a single word passing through his lips.

"Dad?" Melane glanced to her side, her brow furrowing, "Did you malfunction?"

A shallow, shudder of a breath left William's lips in response and Melanie turned instantly, to find that all traces of humour were now gone from his face as his eyes stood fully closed. Her brow only fell deeper, with a sudden ball of anxiety growing and twisting in her stomach over what could possibly be wrong with him. Did he grow ill all of a sudden? Was he...having a heart attack? Was he dying? Every sort of sickening idea flew through Melanie's racing mind and crippled her with worry until suddenly, she remembered.

If I don't kill myself first.

God, that was the worst, most disgusting thing she could have ever said to him with what was so hauntingly approaching this time of year. Her shoulders quickly sank, a deep sigh leaving her nose as her eyes closed briefly and her anxiety vanished. Replaced with nothing but the overwhelming feeling of regret... Self-hatred... And some of the worst, most immense guilt she could ever have found herself drowning in. 

"Daddy, I'm sorry..." Melanie whispered, swallowing thickly and wishing, more than anything, that she could go back to ten seconds ago...to beforeshe said that.

Or actually, if she was wishing for anything, she'd wish to go back and stop herself from doing the very thing she had just joked about doing. And in front of her dad? The very person who had been the one to find her lying on the floor of her house with a needle in her arm that would have killed her , had he not had narcan in his car? How could she ever think that that was an appropriate thing to say to him?

God, she felt terrible right now. Like the worst daughter she could ever be, and let me tell you that was saying something as in her life, she hadn't exactly been the best one she could be. But she was trying. So, so hard was she trying to be a good daughter lately, yet she'd just gone and said that. What was wrong with her? Of all the fucked up things she could ever say that might relate back to a moment in her life, and she just had to go and joke about the one that almost ended it? Well, to say that she had royally fucked up her progress as daughter of the year would be an understatement and she could already feel herself sliding down the snake, and landing right back on square one.

"I... I didn't mean it," Melanie shook her head, despite William still having his eyes closed. No doubt due to the fact that he'd probably only end up seeing her the way he did that day. "I was just kidding. I was just...please don't be mad at me."

And just like that, William's eyes shot open and they instantly softened, his hands raising to land gently on each side of her face, "Sweetheart, I'm not mad at you... I could never be mad at you, I just... It worries me, when you talk like that, that's all."

"I know. And I'm sorry. I didn't..." Melanie sucked in a shaky breath, trying her hardest to compose herself. "I didn't think... About what I was saying. Or how it might make you feel... But, dad, you don't need to worry about that anymore because I'm good. I'm in a good place right now..."

Aside from the fact that I'm making myself miserable on purpose by refusing to acknowledge my feelings for a certain ADA, Melanie added mentally, as if she said that to her dad then, his own personal grievance with Barba aside, he'd be trailing her to his office and making the two of them kiss like they were Barbie dolls.

"Really, I am... I've got Mikey back. You and I aren't butting heads as much as we normally do," Melanie continued, a humorous smile tugging at her lips when she nudged her dad playfully, her heart then warming when he managed a small smile himself, as it wasn't very often he allowed a genuine one flash across his otherwise stone-like face. "And aside from the fact that I'm under investigation for assault, I'm doing really well here at SVU... So you don't need to worry about me anymore."

"Melanie, I'm your father. No matter how good your life is, there won't ever be a day when I stop worrying about you... Or about finding you like that again," William confessed, watching as Melanie bit at her wobbling lip and tried her hardest to remain collected. "And I know some days it doesn't seem like it. That it seems like I'm being purposely hard on you, but that's only because I love you. And I don't want to lose you."

The now fervent display of fear that ran deep in the lines of her father's face broke Melanie's heart more than she ever thought possible after what she'd been through, and without saying a single word she fell against him. His arms wrapped around her immediately, holding her tightly enough that had she not had incredible lungs with a high capacity for holding air, he might have suffocated her.

But at that moment, she didn't care. She didn't need to breathe, she just needed him to know she wasn't going anywhere, not any time soon. She really was in a good place right now despite what you might think, so it was important for her to let him know that she would never, under any circumstances, ever think about putting him in such a scenario again, where for a brief moment in time, he had to think that his only daughter had ended her life.

"Now you be good today," William said when the two of them had pulled apart, after realising they were still standing in full view of the squad room — many occupants of which were flabbergasted that the two of them so much as looked at each other, let alone hugged. "Stay at your desk. And please, no picking on your brother."

"I'll stay at my desk, but I can't guarantee I won't pick on Mikey," Melanie said humorously, as it was true. She couldn't guarantee it and she was already planning to glue the wheels of his chair to the floor.

"Well, I guess one out of two isn't bad," William shrugged, as he should have known better than to assume otherwise.

"Exactly, but if it makes you feel any better, I'll go easy on him."

"It doesn't, but I appreciate the gesture."

"You're very welcome for it," Melanie said playfully, hearing her dad chuckle softly as he set his hand on the side of her head and drew her closer to him, placing a soft kiss to her forehead before finally taking his leave.

"Everything okay in here?" Rollins asked, passing Melanie by as she made her way back to her desk with a cup of decaf in her hands. "The whole squad room is staring at you like you just flashed them."

"They wish," Melanie said with an abrupt laugh, yet at the same time her brow furrowed and she quickly cast her gaze across the room, finding that Rollins was, indeed, correct.

The whole squad room was staring at her like that as every officer seemed to be suddenly frozen in place, with their mouths slightly gaped and their eyes as wide as could be without them popping right out of their skulls. Only, rather than it being because she flashed them, which she almost wished it was, it was simply because of the rarest, almost extinct, display of family affection they had all just had the pleasure(?) of witnessing.

The entire time Melanie had worked there, they'd never once seen her hug the Chief... Or smile at him, in a way that wasn't sarcastically mocking anyway. But most of all, they'd never seen him kiss her forehead. Nor did they ever think Melanie would allow him to do so and honestly... The shock-filled way in which those facts had them looking at her was making her rather uncomfortable and the more they did it, the more she felt the need to run her mouth.

"What?" She asked, widening her own eyes as she stepped further into the room. "Are you all waiting on a briefing or something? Get back to work!"

And as she clapped her hands together to emphasise her point, every officer jumped into action and returned to their business.

"Damn girl," Rollins chuckled, sipping on her coffee as she settled into her chair. "Part of me thinks the wrong Dodds might be in charge of this unit."

"Oh please, if my dad had noticed them staring like that they'd all be rushing to put in their transfer papers," Melanie replied, sinking into her own seat and propping her feet up on her desk as she fired a glare at an officer who kept glancing towards her, making him jump beneath his skin and scarper off to work at a different part of the floor. "Honestly, it's like working with an audience in here some days."

"Well, you do know how to put on a good show."

"Thank you," Melanie said with irony, interlocking her fingers behind her head and leaning back in her chair as she closed her eyes, exhaling quietly, "It's one of my many skills as a performer."

"Oh yeah?" Rollins raised her eyebrow curiously, "You, uh, you got other skills as a performer that we don't know about?"

At the slight dirty humour that riddled her tone, Melanie cracked open one eye just in time to see the mischief dance across Rollins' features. She huffed out a chuckle, opening her other eye and adding playfully, "Honey, you flash me some cash and I will be more than happy to show you."

"You know, most days..." Rollins began, opening up her laptop, "I can't tell when you're joking."

And neither could Melanie as her life was that much of a joke most days that she sometimes struggled to differentiate.

As did her dad, which is partially the reason as to why Melanie's good mood seemed to have shifted so violently to the left. And things had started off so great today too, which only made her feel that much worse. She'd had a really nice breakfast bagel from her favourite bodega, which was technically free as she bought it with a twenty dollar bill she'd found on her stoop when she left for work. She'd even had change left over to buy herself a donut on the way in and after that...things were going as well as could be expected for a detective bound to her desk under threat of criminal charges.

The whole supposed incident with Campesi had been the last thing on her mind today, if she was being honest. It was Mike's first day. She'd been thinking about that and she had really wanted to enjoy it for his sake. Yet here she was, still banished to her desk where she could do nothing but stew miserably over an irresponsible slip-up with her words that only left her wishing that somehow , she could fix it. But the damage was already done. Her dad, and herself, were both already reminded of that horrible day and really, there was only one thing that could ever make her feel a little less guilty over it entirely.

And that was solving the very case that started it. But unfortunately for her... as when would Melanie's life ever be that easy? That case was colder than her mood, so the chances of her solving it in the next sixty or so minutes were practically non-existent.

Nevertheless, she still chose to look into it, as it couldn't help to glance over it again and see if there was the slightest chance she might have missed something. She knew it wasn't possible, as she'd been over every detail with a fine tooth comb, but still, Melanie straightened herself in her chair and opened up her bottom drawer. She began to root around amongst the mess that was inside: crumpled up pieces of paper, candy bar wrappers, empty cans she'd been meaning to recycle but never bothered too, there were even full packets of chips lying half deflated amongst the handful of files that now called the drawer home, but eventually she worked her way past all that and found what she was looking for.

Brushing off some crumbs, which fell back into the drawer full of mysteries, Melanie pulled out the thin manila dossier and, after shoving some of her ongoing cases aside for the time being, set it atop her desk. From just looking at the case file number on the top, she could already feel her chest tightening over the mere thought of what lay inside it. She didn't really want to see it again, not today anyway, but she knew she had to. It had been months since her last attempt at cracking it and if she ever wanted to improve her mood before her brother came back to the squad room, then she at least needed to try.

If not for her own sake, then for Mike and William's as she seemed to forget, sometimes, that she wasn't the only one who lost something that day.

And so, with a barely audible sigh that shook as it worked its way past her lips, Melanie flipped open the dossier and got to work.

Not that she had much to work with in the first place as there wasn't anything in the folder besides a few crime scene photos, a single witness statement and the incident report. There was no evidence, no other eyewitness statements, not even a single damn camera that had picked anything up and to most detectives, this case would be known as a lost cause.

But Melanie wouldn't give up. She couldn't. It wasn't in her to ever let something like this go, not until the person responsible was behind bars where they belonged. And with that need for justice coursing through her, and after getting herself some much need caffeine, she kept her head down and carried on, allowing her eyes to read and reread every single little detail in hopes of something sparking inside her mind that could help lead her towards the truth.

But the more she read, the more frustrated she grew as there wasn't anything in front of her that was new from the last time she'd gone over things. She always knew it was a long shot that she'd ever solve it, but that didn't mean that each time she tried, that truth didn't hit her hard.

Hell, it didn't even let her sleep most nights, knowing that person was still out there. She tossed and turned so much, with the memories of that day, and the days that followed, replaying constantly in her head, that she often ended up down stairs playing video games until the early hours of the morning. It's why she was always tired. She slept no more than three hours a night before she had to resort to gaming to help keep her distracted. To help stop the haunting thoughts that had caused her to try to end her life in the first place from sparking in her head again.

And with that in mind, along with the irritating fact that she couldn't come up with a single new piece of information, Melanie slammed her folder shut in frustration and threw it back into her drawer, kicking it with the side of her foot and causing a few officers jotted around the place to jump from the sudden sound of it slamming.

"Is your blood sugar dropping?" Rollins asked absently, not even looking up from her laptop. "Do you need something to eat?"

"No," Melanie replied, her brow then dipping a little as come to think of it...she was a little hungry actually. "Well, maybe..." She added, before quickly shaking her head. "No, I just... I need a distraction. Something to...take my mind off the thoughts that are racing inside of it."

"You could take your meds."

"You could kiss my ass," Melanie fired back, making Rollins chuckle as it hadn't hurt to try.

"You want me to call down to ballistics, see if they'll let you test fire some weapons?" Rollins suggested for real, still not glancing up from her desk as she typed away.

"No, I don't want to do that," Melanie breathed out, causing Rollins to instantly stop what she was doing and slowly turn to her, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly agape. "What?"

"You don't want to fire any weapons?" Rollins repeated, dumbfounded to say the least as that was Melanie's favourite thing to do.

"I'm not allowed to hold weapons, or are you forgetting that?" Melanie uttered in annoyance, slumping back into her chair and slowly sliding down it until nothing but the upper part of her back was placed atop it. She then let out a frustrated groan, allowing the rest of her body to fall from the chair until she was lying on the floor. "If you need me, I'll be down here...dying."

"Alright, but if Carisi comes back and trips over you again I'm not taking him to the hospital."

"That's okay... I'll get Mikey to do it." Melanie mumbled, hearing Rollins laugh quietly to herself as she turned back around on her chair.

Melanie lay there on the coolness of the tiles for a minute or two, doing nothing but staring up at the darkening spots on the ceiling as she let the thoughts settle inside her mind. She knew she was being childish. That she was basically throwing a tantrum and causing actual police officers to have to step over her, without even batting an eye as it wasn't the first time, but she just needed a minute of quiet and sometimes lying on the floor helped her get it.

Ding.

With a groan that amused Rollins greatly, Melanie reluctantly sat up from the floor quicker than she would have liked and began to blindly feel around the top of her desk for her phone. She knocked over her empty mug, scattering a few pens in the process but eventually she found it, dragging it back across the surface and allowing it to fall lazily into her lap. She picked it up, clicking it on and going straight to her message thread, where the only new text she had was from Mike.

Mikey: How's desk duty going?

Melanie: It's not, I'm on the floor

Mikey: Oh, naturally... But since you aren't busy, you mind looking up a name for me?

Melanie: I guess I can pull my laptop down onto my lap

Mikey: Atta girl.

Melanie: What's the name?

Mikey: Anton Kransikov, he's a famous flautist from Russia

Melanie: A what?

Mikey: He plays the flute

Melanie: Gotcha... But yeah, I'll check him out.

Mikey: Thanks, we're on our way back to the precinct now, shouldn't be long

Melanie: Great, will you grab me an energy drink from the vending machine on your way up? We're all out in the break room 😊

Mikey: How many cups of coffee have you had today?

Melanie: One

Mikey: Mellie

Melanie: Okay, fine. I've had two... but I'll drink decaf for the rest of the day, I promise🤞🏻

Mikey: Fine, I'll get you one

Melanie: Yay! Thank you 🥰

Mikey: 👍🏻

A thumbs up? God he is such a dad sometimes, Melanie thought to herself as she lazily got up from the floor and tossed her phone back onto her desk. With a faint groan, she stretched out her back and arms then plopped herself down in her chair, quickly tidying up the pens she'd scattered around earlier before setting her empty mug on Carisi's desk. She flipped open her laptop, heading straight for the NYPD database to begin her search into Anton Krasnikov.

It wasn't long after she'd come back from the break room after printing out Anton's file, did the others eventually return with that very man in tow, who Melanie had to admit, didn't look like a flautist. Fin and Carisi led him to the interview room immediately as Mike made his way towards her, setting her energy drink on her desk and watching as her lips rose into a smile. 

"Thank you," Melanie said gratefully, cracking open the can and taking that first small sip of the glorious caffeine within. "Ah, just what I needed."

"Savour it," Mike told her, lifting the file on Anton from her desk as she continued to sip away. "It's the only one you're allowed to drink today."

"Yeah, whatever," Melanie brushed off, taking one more sip before she set the can on her desk and glanced around. "Where's Liv?"

"Oh, she ran into Tucker downstairs," Mike said casually, flipping briefly through the file Melanie had put together for him and not even bothering to acknowledge the way her face had fallen. "She told me to head on up."

"Wonderful," Melanie muttered dryly, rolling her eyes. "I wonder what IAB wants with me now."

"They want to give you this," Liv said suddenly as she rounded the corner, drawing Melanie's curious gaze up to meet her. She carried on across the bullpen, a pleased smile holding up her lips as she set Melanie's very own gun on her desk. "Your alibi checked out...You're off the hook, detective."

Melanie's brow dipped, "I don't have an alibi." 

"Well, apparently you do," Liv replied, glancing briefly towards Mike who remained with his nose buried deep in his file. "And it must be a good one. Tucker said there was absolutely no way that you could have been responsible for Campesi's attack."

"What's gonna happen to her?" Melanie asked curiously. She'd deal with her alibi revelation later, but for now she just wanted to know what they planned to do about Campesi. "Are they gonna charge her with conspiracy?"

"Conspiracy?" Liv repeated in confusion, and even Mike looked up from his file as Melanie hadn't said anything to him about a conspiracy. "What makes you think it was that?"

"Um, everything?" Were they blind or just stupid, Melanie thought to herself, as it was clearly a conspiracy to get back at her for testifying.

"Mellie, I don't think she was conspiring to frame you for assault," Mike said, closing his file and tucking it under his arm. "I think she genuinely thought it was you."

"Are you being serious?" Melanie chuckled delusionally, as Liv she got, but Mike? Be for real right now. "She clearly set this whole thing up from the start!"

"Okay, just take a breather," Liv said calmly, raising her hand and motioning for Melanie to settle, which she did. A little. She took a sip of her energy drink, but honestly Liv didn't know whether or not that would make things better. Or worse. "I did ask Tucker what he planned to do with her, and he told me that they have no interest in pressing charges."

"No interest?" Melanie scoffed, her fingers tightening around her can. "So she can frame me for assault and what? Get off scot free?"

"She's already under indictment for manslaughter, I think she has it tough enough already." Liv said, yet she regretted it the second it passed her lips when Melanie's jaw clenched and even Mike took a step back.

"Oh, sure," Melanie began, her tone oozing with sarcasm as she let go of her can before she caused it to erupt all over her desk, "I almost lost my job. There's parents out there mourning the loss of their son but Campesi is the one who has it tough. Of course, how silly of me to suggest we pile any more on top of her."

Liv sighed, "Can't you just be happy that you're cleared?"

"Oh, I am thrilled," Melanie said chipperly — which was forced, of course, and paired nicely with her signature satirical smile that stretched from ear to ear, making Liv have to refrain from rolling her eyes at her dramatisation. "I get my gun back and IAB lets Campesi off the hook for lying about it? I literally couldn't be any happier."

With her smile swiftly swapping to a scowl, it was Melanie's turn to roll her eyes as she fell silent...as if she attempted to sound any more sarcastically cheerful about the complete bullshit that was this situation then she was going to hurl.

But she gets it, though...She almost gets framed for assault but because Campesi is already under indictment for manslaughter there's no point in piling any more on top of her. Seems fair. It was only Melanie's entire life on the line, but whatever...she was cleared so it's no big deal, right? Why waste time trying to get to the truth when there were far more pressing matters to attend to? Figures. No one at IAB ever seemed to give a shit about Melanie unless she was the one in the line of fire, where they were never happier than when they got to pull the trigger.

"This is a gift horse, Mel," Liv said, lightly tapping her fingers atop Melanie's desk to draw her murderous gaze back to reality. "Now do me a favour, don't look it in the mouth." 

"I hate proverbial phrases," Melanie said bluntly, slipping her gun back into her holster as Liv simply smiled knowingly, only adding to Melanie's mood as...she'd done that on purpose. She then waved her hand lazily, brushing it off in a barely intelligible mumble, "Just... Whatever. Thanks for getting me my gun back, I guess."

"Oh, don't thank me," Liv said, causing Melanie's eyes to slowly narrow as she backed up towards her office. "Thank whoever was smart enough to tell Tucker the truth."

And with that, Liv was gone as she didn't want to be anywhere near Melanie when she got a hold of Mike.

"You're right," Melanie said to herself, nodding her head and slowly spinning on her chair to face her brother, her tone falling childishly as she said his name, "Mikey, would you care to explain?"

"Wait," Mike chuckled in disbelief, "You think I told Tucker where you were?"

"Well who else could it be?"

"I thought you said you didn't have an alibi?" Rollins asked curiously, yet she almost wished she hadn't when both twins' eyes landed directly onto her. "You know what... Nevermind."

A satirical smile rose on Melanie's lips as she silently agreed, watching as Rollins stood up from her chair and happily took the file on Anton from Mike before scurrying across the room towards Liv's office. It wasn't until she disappeared inside it, did both twins turn back towards each other and Melanie's lips part, about to spew out another accusation before Mike swiftly cut her off.

"I know we've been at odds for a while, Mellie, but if you think that I broke our bond over this..."

"Who else could it have been, Mikey?" Melanie cut him off, standing abruptly up from her chair as she didn't like the way he was looking down at her. "Are you forgetting that you're the only one I told?"

"No, but you seem to be forgetting that there's one other person involved in this," Mike said a little angrily, before he took a step back and sucked in a breath. He placed his hands on his hips, firing glares at those who were watching — all of whom couldn't help but think that Daddy Dodds was finally out of the boxing ring and that Big Dodds was in — as he quickly calmed himself down. "The guy... The one you were with, did you ever stop to think that maybe he told IAB?"

And just like that, the sudden realisation kicked in and Melanie's eyes widened, the pieces clicking back together inside her mind as whilst she was freaking out thinking that someone was following her, or worse, that Mike had broken the twin confessional, she had completely forgotten... She had been in Barba's apartment. He had literally been there too and if Mike wasn't the one who told Tucker the truth...Then there was simply no one else it could have been.

"Oh, he didn't," Melanie breathed out, placing her hands on her head and gripping her hair just to feel something other than... God, she didn't even know what she felt right now as today had been a whirlwind of emotions and it wasn't even past noon yet. "He's gonna get himself into trouble."

"Well, maybe he doesn't care about that," Mike said softly, closing the gap between them should there be any ears dropping eaves around them. "As like I said the other day... Perhaps the only thing he truly cares about is you."

"That's no excuse," Melanie gritted stubbornly, grabbing her phone from her desk and ignoring the deep sigh Mike let out as he watched her make her way towards the bunk room.

"Go easy on the poor guy, would you?" Mike called after her, causing her to glance back over at him questionably. "He saved your ass, just remember that."

With a partially mocking, and sibling accurate smile, Melanie carried on towards the bunk room with her phone gripped so tightly in her hand she could already feel the dents forming in her palm. She couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe that Barba had gone to Tucker without telling her first. And okay sure, it was partially her fault for not letting him know that she didn't want him to go to Tucker because she didn't want anyone to find out where she was, but then again...how could she tell him that?

How could she possibly begin to explain to Barba that the reason as to why she'd rather go down for assault than confess to IAB that she'd been at his apartment, was because she was scared? That she was worried about dragging his name through the mud should people think the two of them were involved?

Spoiler alert, she couldn't. There was simply no good place to start that conversation and no matter what anyone said...no matter how many times Mike kept telling her that perhaps Barba only really cared about her, Melanie would never be able to bring herself to tell him the truth. He'd only try to convince her otherwise and whilst he may turn out to only care about her, she wasn't about to let him possibly ruin his career by getting involved with someone like her. It wouldn't be fair. She was damaged goods, and Barba deserves far better than a mess like her.

He deserves someone who has their life together. Who doesn't have as much emotional baggage as she does and if that means her own heart gets broken in the process then so be it. It wasn't like all the pieces were there anyway, so what were a few more chipping away if not nothing?

Regardless of that though, it didn't mean she was letting this go. She needed to understand why he did what he did and so, as the door to the bunk room slammed noisily behind her, Melanie pulled up Barba's contact within seconds of entering and called him.

He picked up immediately.

"What the hell did you do?" Melanie demanded, having barely given the dial tone a second to click off before she did and perhaps this wasn't what Mike meant when he told her to go easy on him.

But, oh well. She was pissed. She was...sad. She was all over the place today and Barba should be damn lucky she hadn't chosen to visit him in person.

"Good morning, Melanie, how are you?" Barba greeted, his tone soaked in sarcasm and if Melanie closed her eyes, she could practically see that smug little smirk of his.

"Don't you get all nice with me, Rafael Barba, I know what you did."

"What I did?" Barba repeated questionably, clearly playing dumb and Melanie could tell by the grin that all but travelled through the phone. "I must confess, detective, I have no idea what you're talking about."

Sighing, Melanie gritted, "Rafael." 

"Melanie," Barba exhaled, in a defined exaggeration of Melanie's own exasperated tone.

With a delusional chuckle, Melanie moved the phone from her ear and pressed it hard against her forehead, feeling the curved edge of her shark-patterned phone case digging deep into her skin, where it would no doubt leave a mark. Was this what it was like dealing with her? Was this how irritated and exhausted other people felt when she acted like this? Because if so... Boy, did she owe a lot of people a gift basket...coincidently starting with Barba himself.

Pressing her lips together regrettably, yet knowing damn well she wouldn't be changing her attitude for a second, Melanie dropped the phone back down to her ear and allowed her tone to soften, "Please, Rafael, just tell me... Why did you go to Tucker?

"Because you're being framed for assault, that's why," Barba said plainly, " And because you had a solid, perfectly believable alibi, which I must say hurt to hear you didn't use." 

Even though he was clearly joking, she hoped , Melanie's heart still twinged as she lowered her voice, mumbling almost sadly "I did that for your sake."

"My sake?"

"Yes, your sake," Melanie replied, with an empty chuckle she had to force to leave her throat should Barba suspect she was almost tearing up at the sudden memory of her own fears. "To save you the trouble it might bring you should people start thinking that we... you know ."

Even though he couldn't see her, Melanie still widened her eyes and tilted her head knowingly, as if to help implicate her clear and obvious meaning without actually having to say it out loud. You know, like a good detective with an important secret they'd like to keep...which honestly is something Barba should really take a lesson in as he wasn't at all shy about putting that scenario out freely into the world.   

"What?" Barba questioned, almost tauntingly as it was interesting to know that that's where her mind went with all of this. "You're worried they might think we slept together?"

"God," Melanie exhaled, flinching the sudden verbal announcement and she couldn't help but begin to glance almost nervously around her. "Can you not say it so loud? Someone could hear you."

"Who's gonna hear me?" Barba asked, outwardly amused by her sudden shyness for all things sexual. He then slurped purposely at his coffee as he basked in it, making Melanie's expression fall instantly blank as she always hated that sound. And he knew it. "I'm in my office, there's no one here."

"What about Carmen?"

"Well, yes she's here," Barba said casually, causing a soft noise of exclaim to leave the back of Melanie's throat that he took to mean no one's around, my ass . "But relax, mi cariño, she's learned to drown out the exact frequency of my voice by now, so you needn't worry."

Melanie huffed in amusement, "That's not surprising, you do love the sound of it."

"Yeah, and I bet you do too," Barba muttered smugly, and Melanie raised her eyebrow.

"What's that now?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Melanie uttered as she rolled her eyes, yet the swiftness and playful innocence to his answer still made her smile from ear to ear, her stomach fluttering in a disgustingly affectionate way as he was right... She did love the sound of his voice and she could only ever dream of hearing it in the way she knew he meant.

"Look," Barba began, the soft squeaking of leather following faintly behind telling Melanie he'd sat up in his chair. Time to get serious. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that I was going to Tucker, but I knew that once I did...you would have handcuffed me to my desk and threw the key into the river."

"You're damn right I would!" Melanie agreed, before taking a second to calm herself as she was well aware that she'd just yelled at him. She sighed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap, it's just... You could get into trouble." 

"For what?" Barba scoffed, "Providing a safe place for an inebriated detective to spend the night? You're right...I should be taken out back and shot."

At his witty tone, Melanie's caring mood fell swiftly and she glared at him through the phone, "Keep up the attitude and I'll be pulling the trigger myself."

"See, and you wouldn't be able to do that had I not gotten your gun back, now would you?" Barba asked tauntingly, to which Melanie stayed silent as she burned a hole into the bunk mattress in front of her with how fierce her gaze was. She wasn't going to answer him. Absolutely not, the smug bastard, and when he came to that conclusion himself, he breathed out in satisfaction, "That's what I thought, now are you done berating me for saving your skin? I'm needed in court."

"For now," Melanie hissed, "But you better watch your ass cause I'm coming for it."

"Now who's being unprofessional?"

"I hate you."

"Mhm," Barba hummed knowingly, unphased by her words. "I'll call you later."

"You better and..." Melanie sucked in a breath, letting it out in a soft, but sweet, whisper, "Thank you, Rafael, it was really considerate of you to do that for me."

"You know I'd do anything for you," Barba said, in a tone so utterly quiet Melanie might have missed it had she not been holding her breath.

"And that's what worries me," Melanie whispered, her heart aching terribly in her chest as she'd already known he'd do anything for her but to hear him say it out loud?

Well...perhaps repressing these deep seated feelings she had for him wouldn't be as easy as she'd hoped.

The two of them parted ways moments after a brief stint of silence where neither of them knew what to say, as Barba really was needed in court and Melanie didn't think she could stomach another second talking to him on the phone should she say anything she shouldn't. She pocketed it immediately, after typing a quick note to herself to make sure she picked Barba up a bottle of scotch as a means to say thank you properly, as the way in which she really wanted to...she knew she'd never be able to bring herself to do.

And after lying face down on a bunk for...God knows how long, Melanie finally made her way back into the squad room. Rollins was gone, Fin and Carisi were both still in with Anton, and the only person left sitting at their desk was Mike. She headed towards him almost instantly, her soft footsteps gaining his attention as he lifted his eyes from his computer screen.

"You okay?" Mike asked, a little worried by his sister's sudden deflation.

"We'll see," Melanie exhaled tiredly, leaning back against his desk as Mike let it go, as he knew it would be useless to press her further for information. She'd come to him when she was ready to, but for now, it was back to the case. "What are you doing?"

"Booking a date with an escort," Mike replied casually, watching as Melanie's brow furrowed and she seemingly forgot about her own love life.

"Oh, Mikey, are you really that lonely?"

"That's very funny," Mike muttered, easily unamused and that only made Melanie smile. Thankfully. He then went on to explain what was happening with the case. That Anton had spent the night with an escort who then ended up robbing him and drugging him, which only led to him then assaulting the victim, Alessandra. "So I figured, the best way to track down this Savannah would be to book a date with her."

"Smart, I guess," Melanie said with a partial shrug, picking at her nail polish as a soft sigh left her lips. She couldn't be less interested in working right now, if she was being honest.

Earlier had really taken it out of her and if she could, she'd pack up her things and head home for the day.

"You want to help me collar her?" Mike asked, his eyebrow raising as he gently nudged her. "Maybe even take down her pimp in the process?"

At that, Melanie perked up visibly, "You know I'm all for taking down pimps."

"Good," Mike chuckled, rolling back in his chair and getting to his feet. "Now go grab your jacket, I don't want to keep my date waiting." 

With a little more pep in her step, Melanie pushed off the desk and rounded it, grabbing her jacket from the back of her chair and slipping her arms into it. She then followed Mike as he headed for the stairwell, as unlike anyone else on the team he always chose to take the stairs whenever the two of them had to go somewhere together. They descended them quickly, making their way across the foyer and out onto the street before climbing into the car, which, in case you're wondering, Mike was driving as he fully intended on surviving his first day on the job.

"So," Melanie began, pulling her knife from her pocket and beginning to flip it as they set off for the motel. "How's your first day going?" 

Mike let out a scoff as he shuffled in his seat, "It could be better."

"Oh boy," Melanie chuckled, shaking her head. "What did you do?"

"Aside from offer telling Carisi to drop my name with hotel security, offering a rape victim a glass of water before her rape kit and telling Liv that dad assigned me here to take pressure off her, nothing much."

"Damn, you hit the trifecta," Melanie exhaled, her eyes widening as she drew her gaze out the window. "Might as well just hand in your shield at the end of the day."

"Thanks for your support," Mike muttered sarcastically, hearing Melanie laugh quietly to herself as she flipped her knife closed. He then glanced at her from the corner of his eye, still keeping his focus on the road as she shuffled around to face him.

"Mikey, it's your first day here, no one expects you to be perfect... I know I wasn't," She said, all traces of humour gone from her tone, and her eyes. "I almost blew my first case, but the more I watched how those around me did things...The more I picked up, so just hang back. Don't try so hard to make a good impression and whatever you do... Do not play the dad card."

"Wish you'd told me that ten minutes ago," Mike mumbled, as he literally had played the dad card and he was already starting to reconsider his transfer. "The Lieutenant all but told me off for even booking this date."

"Look, one thing you need to know about Liv is that sometimes... she sees the world in nothing more than black and white."

"How do you mean?" Mike asked curiously, glancing towards her again as she bit at the skin of her lip.

"I just..." Melanie took a breath, running her fingers through her hair. "I don't want to affect your opinion of her but she's very... shoot first ask questions later."

"So like you?"

"What? No," Melanie said, offended. "No, I don't shoot unless I know someone is guilty whereas Liv... she's very quick to assume that they are and sometimes... I think that she sees everyone as a victim, that's all."

"I see," Mike mused, yet he couldn't help but find it a little strange as Liv did seem very eager to wrap up this case even though Anton himself might have been a victim.

Nevertheless, he said nothing. He trusted his sister's opinion, maybe even more than his own, as over the years her intuitions had never once been wrong about someone. She told him from the get-go that he couldn't trust his ex, and what do you know, she turned out to be cheating on him. Not to mention, she knew when their parents were getting divorced even before they did and honestly...Mike often wondered if they were meant to be triplets but that she'd somehow absorbed the other one and ended up with a third eye.

But anyway, back to the case...

It wasn't long before the twins arrived at the world's seediest motel. Mike had gone straight to his room to get himself ready, whereas Melanie hung back in the damp, smelly hallway, waiting just around the corner for Savannah to show up so she could then kick down the door and arrest her. But unfortunately, things didn't go that smoothly and an entirely different escort to the one Mike had booked in with showed up, meaning, as a result of their planned being ruined, they had to put a call in to the pimp, Slice.

Slice was a scrawny looking guy, with a terrible moustache and an even worse Hawaiian shirt, which is why Melanie wasn't too worried when he eventually showed up and entered Mike's room. She lingered outside, with her ear pressed to the door and her gun in her hand should things go south...as you never know what a pimp might be capable of when it came to defending his money.

Not that Melanie didn't have faith that Mike could handle himself but sometimes even the most underestimated of people could cause the most damage, and as soon as she heard Mike's raised voice as he identified himself, she was quick to kick down the door. Mike was already disarming Slice as she did and she pulled out her cuffs, tossing them towards him and watching as he caught them without so much as even looking at her.

"Look, my girl didn't didn't do anything and you didn't pay anything," Slice babbled, a soft grunt leaving his lips as Mike shoved him against the table to cuff him. "So what the hell is this? Some kind of shakedown? Huh, how much you want?"

"You hear that, Mikey?" Melanie questioned, irony riddling her tone as she delved further into the room.

"Yeah, I do," Mike replied, spinning Slice around and keeping him in place as Melanie approached them.

"Attempting to bribe a detective and a sergeant?" Melanie chuckled dryly, shaking her head. "Man, you must just be dying to see the inside of a jail cell."

Slice sighed, "What the hell do you want?"

"We want to talk to Savannah," Mike replied plainly, jostling Slice a little to gain his attention as he did not like the way he kept ogling Melanie. "You get her here, this all goes away."

Turns out, however, that Savannah was too keen on answering the phone, thus resulting in the twins having to drag Slice's scrawny ass down the station. They threw him into the interrogation room, taking turns trying to get him to pick up the damn phone again before either one of them lost their temper.

It was quite the show, for the others, watching as the twins bounced off each other so smoothly it could have been like watching one singular person doing the interview. But unfortunately for everyone, it didn't last too long before Slice said the magic word. He lawyered up, no more than five minutes after having entered the room and thus ended the interview.

"You wanna lawyer up, Slice? You go ahead," Mike said, his palms on the table as he leaned forward, looking Slice directly in the face as Melanie waited patiently behind him. "You're free to do that, but you're on my list now... Which means I'm free to follow you. Tap your phone. Question your girls."

"Come on man," Slice said defensively, "I ain't a bad guy. Savannah stole from me too."

"Then find her," Mike gritted, slamming his closed fist down onto the table. "And if you don't...I don't care what bus you get on or what hole you crawl into. I will track you down and pull your testicles out through your throat."

And with that eye widening, ' did he just say what I think he just said?' moment dropped so suddenly before them, those who were watching glanced towards each other in shock. However, not one of them said a single word as they didn't need to, not when the exact same thought was plastered hauntingly over each and every one of their faces...

Oh dear Lord... There's two of them.

-
sorry this chapter took a little longer than normal...I had trouble getting it started then once I did it just didn't seem to want to end, which is why the ending might seem rushed bc I literally just wanted to stop lol

but I hope you liked it anyway and the next one will include more Barba, and in person, I promise!

anyway, if you'd like to see my rambles about this fic you can follow me on Tumblr: winchesterszvonecek - I have a tag #melrambles where I scream into the void about all things Melanie