Hey I'm switching back to third person ad I'm going to go through and edit previous chapters so that they're in third person also.

!!TW: Self harm!!

It's been three days since Draco's encounter with Gardner. He kept his distance throughout the weekend, he didn't want her thinking she had control of whatever this is that they have. He will have her when and where he wants - He's made himself clear on that.

Either way he'd neglected his task over the past few weeks and needed to refocus if he wanted to make any progress. His mother had been berating him with letters about the breakthrough he should've made by now. He tore up each individual letter and burnt them in the fireplace.

Doesn't she realise I already fucking know.

He spent the entire weekend in the Room of Requirement, with the temperamental cabinet. He swore it would break slightly more every time he spelled it, just to spite him. The cabinet demanded an awful lot of magic, which sometimes he just didn't have access to. After hours of working on the cabinet he could feel his magic straining. It's like his veins start to run dry and rub together like sandpaper. He gets blinding headaches and shooting pains up and down his arm, originating in the mark.

As he made his way back to his dorm he traced his finger over the patch of cotton that covered the inked skin.

That bloody mark. The reason I'm in this whole mess. A branding that binds me into an eternal contract.

No one warned him when he was marked; no one warned him that it will forever be what he hates most about himself. More than his arrogance and selfishness. Far, far more than any blemish or insecurity. He hates his mark.

He believed all the people who say 'hate's such a strong word' or 'you can never truly hate something' are ignorant cunts. They didn't know how it felt to have dark magic intoxicating your veins every second of every day. Or how it felt to try and grasp onto the banks of who you once were, whilst drowning in the black depths of who you're becoming.

The only thing that seemed to keep him from being submerged was Gardner.

You may think this is some kind of fucking love confession and oh, how excruciatingly wrong you are. Draco doesn't love Gardner, far from it actually. She is pain relief - a drug. And an excellent one at that. You see, when he first got entangled with her and she occupied every lingering thought, his hypothesis was he just needed a kiss to settle his mind. Just a kiss, nothing more. But once he got his kiss the feeling lingered.

Draco craved her and suddenly wanted her for the exact reason he had tried to push her away. She was a distraction. A perfect distraction from everything going on around him. And it didn't take him long to notice that when he was distracted all the pain just seemed to wither away.

When he was around her it felt like she siphoned the darkness straight from the mark itself. Each time he received one of her delicate kisses it removed a fraction of dark energy from within him and he gorged on the feeling. Although he knew what they have can't last, because she may not know it yet, but he's corrupting her. She takes his dark energy - and that's true - but energy cannot be destroyed, only transferred. Gardner is taking his pain away and he's certain it's at her expense; willingly or not he knows will be her downfall.

Gardner and Draco are more alike than she would ever admit. Ever since her mum died she's been alone. There is no one who cares enough to stop Garder's life being ruined, just as there's no one who cares enough to stop Draco from ruining it.

That being said he would still protect Gardner; from external forces that is. He wouldn't let anyone touch her because she is his pain relief, his drug.

His other sedative of choice being the comforting burn of firewhiskey. Once he re-entered his dorm that was the first thing he reached for. He always kept a full bottle in his room, just in case. He filled a glass and knocked back the amber liquid as he relished the feeling of every neuron buzzing with the effects of the alcohol.

He stood beside the window and watched as rays of sun broke into fragments on the surface of the Black Lake, indicating sunrise. He rolled his eyes and refilled his glass at the notion he had spent another sleepless night with the cabinet as his only companion.

After he finished the second glass he decided to shower and change his uniform before leaving for classes. He turned the water to the highest temperature and held his forearm beneath it for a few seconds. You could've sworn it was raining down fire by the way it scalded his flesh, drop by drop.

Draco realised the irony that his only source of pain relief, besides Gardner, was a burn. Whether it be the burn of alcohol down the back of his throat, or the scorching of his skin. This form of punishment had been instilled in him from a young age. When he misbehaved as a young boy his father would use the stinging jinx unforgivingly on hidden parts of his body; like the underside of his arms or his stomach.

That disciplining had clearly stuck with him through to adolescence. Even when his father wasn't around.

Just before the damage from the shower became irreparable he turned the cold water on and started to wash the rest of his body. The soap formed iridescent bubbles which skated across his every bump of his skin. The soap had no fear as it slid down his arm and ran over the mark, distorting its shape; As though mocking it.

Draco believed even if his flesh was no longer contaminated by the cursed ink he would never feel truly clean again. Every inch of his being had been interlaced with immorality and corruption. It had nestled its way into every fibre of Draco's body and he didn't have the willpower to fight it.

Hot tears pricked at the back of his eyes and fought against his attempts to blink them away. A single rogue tear broke free and ran rampant down his cheek. He was so ashamed. So angry at himself. Then a blinding pain seared through his arm.

I didn't mean to, I promise I didn't.

His jagged nails raked against the skin of his forearm which bore deep wounds. Yet remarkably the mark came out unscathed. The slices in his skin saw a million redcoat soldiers run, none brave enough to trail beyond the darkness. Draco's scratches quickened as the floodgates opened and he was no longer able to stop his tears.

I don't want to do this to myself. It's unbearable please help me. Please.

A second gut-wrenching sensation shot through his arm and up to his shoulder. However this wasn't from the ripping of his flesh, this was coming from within. The mark was resisting him, it knew it was under attack - so it fought back. Hot tears of anguish raged down his cheeks.

Please make it stop. I don't know how to make it stop.

Crimson slits were lining his forearm and blood was embedded deep under his nails. Yet there the mark stood, unharmed and proud.

An agonizing roar ripped through his chest, robbing him of all the air within his lungs. His knees slammed against the porcelain floor of the shower with his nails piercing the skin of his palm. He dropped his head and let it hang low. Eyes clamped shut and chest heaving, as his sobs choked their way out of his throat.

If my father could see me now. How humiliated he would be to have me as his son.

This small box concealed his misery by means of misted glass and muffled sound. He watched as blood trickled down his arm and leaked into the puddle of water on the shower floor. The diluted blood danced through the water around his body, creating bewitching patterns as it swirled and swum, before being carried down the drain.

It was only when he caught the slightest glimpse of his reflection that he splashed the water with his hand and exited the shower. He wrapped a towel around his waist and plodded across the damp floor towards the sink. The mirror was covered by steam and condensation so he swiped his palm across the glass just enough to catch the reflection of his eyes. Bloodshot and swollen. Taking a deep breath in, he raised his fist and swung it at the mirror. His reflection splintered into a million pieces and crumbled before him.

Seven years of bad luck? I would smash a thousand more mirrors if it meant I only had to put up with seven years worth of bad luck.

His hand stung as he flexed his wrist and inspected his knuckles. His pale skin had been split apart by small crimson rivers that trickled through the canal of his fingers and into the sink.

He shook his head and tried to bring himself back to the present. He washed himself up and left the bathroom with the towel slung around his waist, but when he entered his room he noticed a figure on the bed. Their face was covered by the latest edition of the Daily Prophet however from the curves of their body he knew exactly who it was.

"Fuck off Parkinson"

She lowered the newspaper to reveal a seductive smirk. Her legs swung round to the edge of the bed and she strut towards him.

"Oh come Malfoy. It's been ages since we've had any fun" she pouted using a baby voice. It made him visibly cringe. She hooked her acrylic nail just underneath the hem of his towel and ran her finger along his lower abdomen. "Please?"

He strode past and knocked her back slightly with his shoulder, as he made his way to the dresser. "Maybe later, I'm not in the mood"

"You're not in the mood? That'll be the day" she scoffed as she folded her arms over her front, "So what, you're shagging someone else then."

"Maybe"

Her lips pursed into a thin line and she shifted her weight so that she leant into her hip, "Fine. I'll hook up with Zabini then! I know how much she likes me"

He ignored her and carried on rummaging through the drawers for his uniform. He removed a shirt from the hanger, slid it on and started to do up the buttons.

"Draco!" she stomped her foot on the ground as she started to throw a small tantrum. He looked up at her from his shirt buttons, "Did you hear what I said?"

"Yeah, go suck off Zabini for all I care" Waving his hand in front of her face, dismissing her. She whined and sashayed out of the room, slamming the door as she left.

He carried on getting ready and grabbed his school books before leaving the dorm and heading for the common room. Nott's voice was echoing up the corridor as he made my way down. He was standing beside the bottom of the staircase, his arm resting against the wall above the head of a younger year. As Draco walked past he grabbed the hood of his robe and dragged him to the sofa.

"Cock block" Nott groaned as he sat beside Draco on the sofa.

Zabini, who was lounging on a chair opposite, quirked his eyebrow and leant forward, "She's a fourth year"

"Yeah, well at least I'm getting some"

"Not from her, she's a Macmillan. You know, save it 'till marriage Macmillan" Draco added.

"Bollocks" Nott let out an exasperated huff and slumped back into his seat. "Who in here is up for a shag then?"

"Preferably someone in our year, Nott" Zabini chuckled.

"Beggars can't be choosers"

"You're disgusting"

Draco agreed with Zabini, he wouldn't even hook up with a fifth year. Just the thought of it made him shudder.

"What about one of Parkinson's lot?" Nott lifted his head and scanned the room.

Zabini started to laugh so hard his head knocked back and his hands clapped "You don't mean Bulstrode?"

"Merlin no!" he practically dry heaved at the suggestion. "I would rather shag Malfoy"

"Yeah, mate I appreciate the offer but I don't tend to go for that"

Nott shoved Draco's shoulder and returned to scanning the room, "No I meant more like Greengrass"

"Daphne?"

"Either to be honest, but Daphne's the closest"

Nott jumped over the back of the sofa and strode across the room to where Parkinson and her group were giggling intimately. He pulled Daphne away from the group and started to chat her up. Draco turned back to face Zabini and they shared a disapproving look.

Zabini gestured towards the door, silently asking to leave and Draco nodded his head. They grabbed their stuff from the floor and left the room.

Throughout the day Draco considered bunking the rest of his classes and going to the Room of Requirements but his grades had dropped drastically. He had also been skipping out on every other lesson since the term started and worried his teachers were starting to notice. The last thing he needed was Snape even more on his ass than he already was.

Zabini and Draco headed out of DADA and towards the Great Hall for lunch. Although Draco backed out at the last second because the hall was crawling with first years and the level of noise they were producing was unbearable. He considered going back to the Slytherin dorms but didn't want a repeat of what happened this morning with Pansy. His best bet would be down by the lake, people don't tend to start going down there until April - when it starts to get warmer.

He turned on his heel and wandered towards the bridge. The January breeze was biting and the hills were hazed by fog, He could barely make out the banks. He trod carefully down the path, the grass was dewy and softened the mud. He pulled out his wand and cast a warming charm over himself as he felt goosebumps form and his breath vapourized as it escaped his lips.

As he got closer to the lake he could make out a figure sitting underneath an oak tree by the edge of the water. Gryffindor robes.

It was her. Of course it was.

She was so delicate; the frost had nipped at her nose and cheeks causing them to blush a light pink. She sat on a beige blanket and was hugging her knees, which were pulled up to her chest. Her gaze was fixed firmly on the water as it lapped up against the bank.

He approached her and took a seat on the opposite edge of the blanket. Turning his head to face her, he watched as each of her breaths emitted a small puff of mist.

"Hey" her voice was oddly monotone. There was no sign of distress or melancholy. He mimicked her actions and looked out at the water. "Where have you been all weekend?"

"I've been busy" he shrugged, his voice just as flat as Gardner's.

"What are you doing down here?"

"What are you doing down here?"

She inhaled through her nose and closed her eyes for a moment before releasing the breath. "Thinking"

It was odd seeing her so serene and alone. You could almost always count on her being with one of the Golden trio, but not now. Her expression was blank and unsettling, yet there was nothing which indicated that Draco had any need for worry.

"Anything I need to know about?"

Her stare finally met his and he was warmed by her deep brown eyes. The corners of her lips slightly upturned and she shook her head.

"Gardner what is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing you need concern yourself with"

His brows knitted together and his mouth pursed to a frown. Why is she talking like Lovegood?

"Fine" he watched as she turned back to the water and her expression fell back to neutral. He shuffled closer and felt his lips tug into a smirk, "How about you meet me tomorrow and help you ease some tension"

"I can't tomorrow" her tone was deathly blunt.

"Why?"

"Busy"

He scoffed and brushed his knees before standing so that he towered over her.

"If you want me to fuck off just say so"

Her head snapped round to look up at him. He couldn't read her expression. Worry? Guilt? She scrambled up so that she was facing him.

"No that's not what I want. Not at all"

"Well I don't feel like playing the guessing game. Are you going to tell me what you're doing or not?"

Her eyebrow raised and arms folded over her chest, "You didn't tell me where you were all weekend"

"You know I can't tell you" both their eyes fell down to Draco's forearm and his hand covered the place of the mark on instinct. "I should go"

"Stay. Please stay"

He clenched his jaw as he caught her pleading gaze. This isn't what he wanted. He doesn't want to bend to her will.

But he can't leave her.

She interpreted his silence as a denial and sat back down on the blanket. She clutched her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees as she let out a profound sigh. He swallowed every ounce of pride and sat down beside her, noticing in his peripheral vision that a big grin was growing across her face.

"Shut up"

"I didn't say anything," she giggled.

They fell into a comfortable silence for a while. Both wallowing in the fresh air and cool breeze that swept their hair aside. Neither moved any closer and it was an odd contrast to their interactions of late.

"Do you remember that night on the Astronomy Tower, before Christmas?" Gardner brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and started to twirl it around her finger. Her voice was unsure and quiet.

Draco hummed in acknowledgement.

"You said you would protect me. Why?"

He hoped she would never bring that night up again. He had been so uncharacteristically vulnerable. The truth was that night he was so desperate for her not to leave he would have said anything. He meant it when he said it, however over time he wondered whether what he said was just heat of the moment.

"I don't know," he breathed.

"Did you mean it?"

"I don't know" she had turned to face him but his eyes stayed fixed to the water. He didn't want to get lost in those brown eyes again, Merlin knows what he would say.

"Well why-"

"What's with all the questions?" he spat. His harsh tone took her back slightly and she readjusted herself on the blanket so that her body was facing his.

"I'm confused"

"About what"

"About us."

He finally faced her. She was frowning slightly with desperate eyes. He knew he couldn't give her the answer she wanted because he was just as confused as she was.

"There is no us"

She knelt up and wobbled over to him on her knees. She sat beside him so their legs brushed up against each other. Her eyes flicked back and forth between his as he sat motionless.

She shook her head as her frown deepened.

"Don't lie" her voice was a light whisper. Malfoy savoured the scent of her sweet breath warming his face.

She leant in and placed her lips against his. The kiss was delicate and sweet. No more than a lingering peck. When she pulled away his eyes stayed closed for a few more moments before opening and locking into hers.

"Don't lie to me. I know you want this just as much as I do" she kept her face close, anticipating his next move.

In one swift motion he had pushed her to the floor and settled himself on top. His hands pinned her arms beside her head and a sly smirk across his face.

"You're right" he hissed, sending butterflies to her stomach. "I want you so fucking badly Gardner that I would take you right here in the open, if you would let me. So don't ask me if there's an us, there isn't, but make no mistake you are mine."

She licked her lips and steadied her breath, "Like your property?"

"Exactly like that" he said as he stroked down the side of her face, letting go of her wrists.

"And I'm meant to want that?" she lifted herself onto her elbows and brought her face impossibly closer to his. So much so he had to lean back slightly.

"You seemed like you wanted it the other day when my fingers were inside you and you were a spluttering mess"

"You caught me off guard. Now Malfoy if you want this..." she raised her pelvis slightly from the floor and it brushed against his. "You're going to have to work a little bit harder than just fingering me in a classroom. Plus I am not your property..."

He looked slightly off to the left as he ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek. She grabbed his face and forced it back to hers.

"... We are equals"

He rested his left forearm on the ground and his right hand slithered around her neck, applying just the right pressure for her to emit an almost hidden moan. He dipped down and kissed her much rougher than before. Her knee raised and cradled him with her thigh. His fingers lightly ran down her upper thigh towards the hem of her skirt and felt the skin rise with goosebumps.

He brought her lower lip between his teeth and tightened the pressure around her neck. Before she could bring her hands up to run her fingers through his hair he grabbed her wrists and pinned them back down to the ground. He separated their lips and watched as she tried to catch her breath from under him.

"You and I will never be equals"

Without another word he crouched on his knees and dusted them off before standing up and walking away. Gardner was left on the ground breathing heavy and an excess of desire as she silently cursed the blonde devil that strode away from her.

She took a moment to sit up and straighten her uniform. Calming her shaky breath she tucked a strand of hair and skimmed across her bottom lip with the pad of her index finger. She placed her hands on the blanket behind her body and leaned backwards looking up towards the sky trying to make sense of Malfoy.

Her fingers separated and closed, massaging the fistfuls of grass between her fingers. As she brought herself back up to sitting her fingers danced along the grass and landed on a small daisy. She picked it from the ground and twirled it between her thumb and forefinger as she inspected it. After gazing at the flower for a few seconds she started to pick at the petals and toss them to the ground. Her intrusive thoughts started to mock her...

He loves me

He loves me not

He loves me

He loves me not

The flower withered before her as she plucked away at the petals until the final two remained.

He loves me

He loves me not...

She scowled at the innocent flower as it predicted an unwanted fate. Staring at the bald flower, something started to tingle in her fingertips, it was an unidentifiable sensation. It went away after a few moments but after it passed she felt an odd connection to the stem of the flower. She brought it inches away from her face, so that she went cross eyed when she looked at it and the most curious thing happened.

Each petal Violet had plucked away started to lift off the ground and back towards the stem. One by one they reconnected to the flowers bulb until the daisy looked once again unharmed.

Violet let out a small gasp and smiled at the dainty flower wondering what she'd done. What is happening to her, it can't be a coincidence surely; From knocking back Malfoy on the Astronomy tower to healing the flower. What is happening to me?

Placing the flower back on the ground Violet started to think maybe Lance had answers. The Ministry informed her on Saturday that they will excuse her of her classes on the first Tuesday of January for her initial meeting with Lance. Which would be tomorrow.

She decided she would use the first of three meetings to get to know him. Realising she would be too excited to ask him any questions about his case, besides as a character witness it would do her good to get to know his character.

Violet had found it hard not telling anyone, especially Hermione, but she wanted to wait for the right time to tell all her friends in one go. This was not to be taken lightly and there was no telling what their reactions would be.

Trying not to get too lost in her own head she decided to pack up the blanket and make her way back towards the castle. She needed to get a good night's rest for tomorrow to try and settle her nerves.

*****

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