"I've been meaning to tell you. I've got this feelin' that won't subside. I look at you and I fantasize." -Eric Carmen, Hungry Eyes

Five Months.

It took five minutes to know that the boy with the pine green eyes could potentially be my heart's demise. It took less than five days to know that I was starting to love the tall boy, with the strong hands and caring heart, buried underneath the hardened skin of a young outlaw. It took five weeks to realize that I needed him in my life forever. And then, it took five months to realize that I was going to have a hard time saying goodbye to him.

Throughout the last five months with Kai Heyman, I had come to realize a lot of things— not only about him, but also about myself. I had learned that I was stronger than anyone thought I was. I wasn't the girl who would take orders and then keep my head hung low. I was defiant and stubborn, and that was ok. I also learned that I was content being the person my family had raised me to be. I had spent a lot of time playing a tug of war between wanting to be a different person—one who didn't live within the constraints of an outlaw club—and who I was born to be. However, the reality was that the thought of a normal life terrified the hell out of me. Finally, I learned that I had been fooling myself, when I thought that there could ever have been even a slim chance that Lex Slater was the one for me. The reality was that all of my life, I had been waiting for one thing to come along. One thing, that would turn my whole world upside down, and simultaneously calm me and keep me on my toes in a whirlwind of anticipation and anxiousness.

That one thing was Kai Heyman. The man they called Beast.

Throughout our five months together, I had picked apart everything I could about him and learned one thing that kept my heart rapidly fluttering. Kai hated pancakes. He hated eating them and he hated making them. I know that one thing seems trivial, but the fact was, that I loved pancakes and because of that, Kai made them for me every Sunday. They were terrible, probably one of the worst things I had ever tasted, but that was the funny thing about love. When you were in love, you sometimes did things you hated because making the other person smile was worth all the misery.

Kai hated making pancakes and I hated eating his pancakes; but we would keep doing it, just for that one smile.

"Rachel, are you ok?" Cecelia's sweet voice sounded in my right ear and I slowly looked over at her with a pained expression. My eyes were sluggishly filling with streams full of tears as I clutched the empty can of soda in my trembling hands. Time was ticking down.

We had five minutes. Five minutes until Kai shipped off to boot camp.

From that point forward, the unsurety of our situation loomed over me, like a black cloud ready to douse me with a constant stream of acid rain. Maybe, my science fiction fantasies would come true and the acid rain would eat away at my miserable flesh, sparring me from a possible life without Kai.

"Yeah," I lied, as I brushed the first hint of moisture from my face. My traitorous eyes were once again betraying me. Hopefully, the acid rain ate those devious traitors first.

"It's not the end of the world, Rach. He'll be back before you can even say boo."

"Boo," I croaked out through a faint smile. "It's not working," I painfully admitted, causing Cecelia to chuckle.

"What's not workin'?" his deep voice pierced the sad tension and my heart flurried, doing its standard rapid fluttering that it only did when Kai was nearby. Had I not known it was love, I would have been convinced that I had a heart condition and should seek medical attention.

"I'm using my three wishes from the genie I found in the lamp, to try and keep you here," I joked, as he threw his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side. Snatching the empty can from my trembling hands, he tossed it into a nearby trashcan.

"I coulda sworn that you used those wishes to get me in your life originally," he joked back and I couldn't help but laugh. Kai had a way of always lightening any gloom or erasing any tension that I experienced.

Growing up, I never believed in soulmates or the one. I thought that love probably had to come and go several times, before you finally settled on what fit best. I didn't think there was a puzzle piece for each of us, waiting to snap into place. I just figured life was life, and love was love. All of that changed with Kai.

"I'm stealin' her for a private moment, CeCe. Take care of yourself, girl. Keep that asshole, Barrett, on his toes; make him as miserable as that sweet little heart of yours can," Kai stated warmly, with a smile on his face.

"I'll try," she said, as she smiled fondly, giving him a warm hug before she said her final goodbyes.

Cecelia then walked off to wait for me by Kai's truck. The time had come, and my nervous stomach was dreading it the most.

Kai pulled me away from the crowd of people who were seeing their loved ones off. Tears were being shed, hugs were being dished out in ample supply, and laughter at last minute jokes and stories flew around the old military base.

"I've got a few demands before I leave, gorgeous girl."

"You're always demanding. I imagine that this is how life with you will always be," I responded, as I rubbed the tear that was beading at the corner of my eye with the back of my hand. "What kind of demands do you got for me this time, Kai?"

Kai laughed warmly, as he pulled me close to his chest. "I'm not demandin' you start havin' my babies or anythin', but I am demandin' somethin'."

"Something bigger than popping out kids? This should be good," I remarked with amusement, as Kai hoisted me up into his grip and made sure we were eye to eye. This was serious, and even though I didn't doubt his love for me, this seriousness worried me.

"I want you to go to New York."

My face dropped in shock. Was he letting me go, telling me that we had our fun together and now our time was over? I choked back a small sob and tensed up in his embrace. His arm flexed to support my weight and his other hand came up to cup my cheek. He leaned in and brushed his freshly shaved jaw across my skin, sending prickles throughout my body.

"It's not what that pretty head is thinkin', Queenie. I'm deployin' soon after my trainin' and I don't want you sittin' here puttin' your life on hold for years, waitin' for me. I want you to go to beauty school and live your life like you always wanted."

"But—" Kai halted any arguments by pressing his lips to mine softly.

When he pulled away he finished, "But, nothin'. Do it now, gorgeous girl, because when I get back from my tours, I'm puttin' my kids in that beautiful belly and we're gonna make a forever life together." He brushed his lips over mine once again, desperate to get one more minute with each other. Reluctantly, he pulled away. "And it's gonna be fuckin' beautiful, Rachel Palmiero."

"It will be beautiful, Kai Heyman, but I've got to tell you that you're shit with your demands," I admitted as I kissed him one last time.

Our tongues danced briefly, sliding against one another delicately, as our hearts bid each other farewell for a while. One last kiss to store away in our memories when times were rough. My arms tightened around his neck, as I buried my face in his shoulder. The scent of freshly laundered fabric made me sadder. He didn't smell like my Kai. My fingers instinctively reached up to twirl in his long strands, but they were gone as well. Kai was taking more than just his love away from me. He was taking everything else that I found calming about his presence, and those would be the hardest things to learn to live without.

Setting me down on the pavement, he sadly smiled one last time, as his hand brushed my cheek with the upmost affection.

"I love you, Rachel." He never called me Rachel unless he was stating something of dire importance.

Without another word, he gathered up his duffle bag and turned to join the other men loading up to leave. As I watched his silhouette—which towered over all of the other men in the group— fade to a blur, I realized that life would never be the same.

The walk back to the truck was miserable. Each step felt like I was trying to run through drying cement. My feet felt as if they were tangled underneath me and my heart felt the heaviest. Loving Kai had taught me that love could not only elevate a person to the highest depths, but that it could weigh someone down so severely. But, standing there near his family and my friend, waiting to load up and head back to our mundane lives, I realized that love could both complete you and tear you to shreds, at the same time.

Kai wanted me to live my life, but what he didn't realize was that I had been living it. For seventeen years, I had lived my life according to what others demanded. Every demand made on me was a decision that was taken for granted, or an opportunity that wasn't my own. It was time to start living my life for me, and New York was no longer what this Rachel wanted.

This Rachel wanted Kai. She wanted her sleepy outlaw town of Northridge, North Carolina. She wanted Saturday night movie nights at the local library, and trudging through the snow in the winter to see the town square lit up with Christmas lights. She wanted the drive-in theater that showed old movies in the summer, and the diner with a two for one milkshake deal on Tuesdays. She wanted her now four day a week, afternoon job doing hair at Charlemagne's Beauty, and she wanted to spend as much time immersed in all of those things.

Kai wanted me to live my life, but because of his love, I already had started to.

As the roar of the plane's engine resonated in the distance, I turned before getting into the truck and whispered one last thing to the love of my life, "I'll be sure seein' you around, Kai Heyman."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Hey!

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Don't forget to vote and comment.

Epilogue will follow.

<3 Amina