Hey guys!! How are you all? I hope everyone is fine. Thank you everyone who voted and commented in the last chapter. Here is the next chapter. Happy Reading.

Chapter-23
**Breaking The Rules*

Sanskar's POV:

It had been five days since I had been avoiding Swara. She had done something to me. She had evoked a feeling inside of me. Whenever I saw her, I got a feeling which I couldn't name. I felt like protecting her, holding her, cherishing her, kissing her and corrupting her in many ways. We both were so different from each other and we stayed together, one would have to change.

I didn't want her to change. She was goddamn perfect. And I knew I could never change.

I was a monster who would destroy her life. I had already destroyed her life enough, I didn't want to give her any more pain. I shouldn't have married her. I destroyed her life. Instead of being with me, she should be with a person who would treat her as his queen, love her, touch her, make love to her, have his child grow inside her womb and build a perfect loving family with her.

She didn't deserve a devil like me. And I didn't deserve an angel like her.

Just ignoring her wasn't enough. I would have to free her from the relationship. And I already hated the mere thought of staying away from her even if it was good for her.

Why did the thought of leaving her hurt?

I felt like I had been stabbed as my heart was aching badly. Every time she gave a smart reply to Kavita, my heart swelled with happiness.

"That's my girl," my heart shouted. But she should not know that ever, was my first thought.

She had started to change. She was slowly accepting this marriage, accepting me. But why? Wasn't she supposed to hate me for all I had done to her? Why did she have to be so caring and forgiving?

That day when she hugged Laksh, my body was burning in jealousy and even she knew that I was jealous. Why shouldn't I be jealous? My wife was being hugged by a person who was not me. He even kissed her forehead.

Scoundrel!

It was my place to kiss her. Laksh was looking at her lovingly. I was not dumb like my wife was because I detected his emotions within few seconds. His eyes held admiration, lust and love. Was he in love with Swara? I was trying hard to control my anger when she held his hands. She even came and whispered something in my ears.

"You can get jealous, Jaani. You are my husband, not him," she said with a wide smirk on her face.

Oh! She was doing this on purpose. Only if you knew Swara, what I was feeling.

I was having a war raging inside me. One part of mine wanted to let her go but the other part wanted to chain her forever to me.

That was why I was avoiding her for five days. I was trying my best not to go near her, to keep my hands to myself. But one glimpse of her and I felt like losing my mind.

For the past few days, I used to come home late while she was asleep. I didn't want to face her. It had become her habit to sleep on the sofa while waiting for me. And it had become my habit to carry her upstairs every night.

Reaching home by the time she was already asleep and leaving home before she woke up, helped me ignore her.

I knew she was noticing this but she didn't know what she was doing to me. I had never cared about anyone's feelings but Swara's feelings mattered to me. It stung my heart thinking that she hated me.

I was at the bar, drinking with Kabir. Basically, he was giving me lectures. Drops of alcohol slid down my chin as I gulped three shots of beer. I wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my shirt.

"This is disgusting, Sanskar. Ewwww!" that bastard, Kabir, was making fun of me. I swear I wanted to kill him. I looked at him with bloodshot eyes.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," I said while gulping another shot.

"Relax, buddy. Don't drink too much," he pulled my glass.

"She should hate me. She should not come close to me. She should not accept me. Since the second I had laid my eyes on her, my mind was screaming to make her mine. I want her badly. This is not good Kabir," I banged my fists on the table.

"Why is this wrong? Swara is your wife and she has started to accept you. It's a good thing and there's nothing to worry about," Kabir was angry. I could sense in his tone.

"Don't you know who I am? How fucked up my life is? Still... you call her your sister, right? Do you really want to spoil your sister's life with a fucked up person like me? I can never give her a normal life. She deserves normal. Fuck! She deserves to be treated like a queen. She deserves a man who will kiss the ground on which she walks, not me,", I said, lighting the cigarette between my lips.

"But what about you? What about your desires, your happiness? Why can't you try to change? Leave all these alcohol, cigarettes and try to be a better person," he threw my cigarette away.

"I am tainted. I can never change," I said.

His face broke into a puzzled expression before he thought for a while, then shook his head in disappointment. I chuckled and blew out a small amount of puff.

That was true. I could never change. Never!

"Leave it. It's very late. Come on, I'll drive you home," Kabir said while helping me in getting up. He held my arms and supported me to reach the car while I was lost in my thoughts.

Flashback:

I was thirteen years old sleeping on my mother's lap.

"Maa, where is Papa? He is never home. Doesn't he love me?" I asked my Maa.

"Papa loves you, Sanskar. He does not know how to show it," Maa kissed my forehead.

"He never comes to drop me off at school. He never attends any PTM in school. All my friends' fathers come but not Papa. Why, Maa?" I wrapped my hands around her neck.

"Papa is busy working, beta. He has to attend several meetings. He works very hard for us. He spends his day and night in office just to give us a good life. But this work has engulfed him. He has forgotten that he has a wife and a son back home," Maa was crying.

I knew why she was crying. It was because of the man I called 'Papa'. He was a devil. Every night he came home with a new girl in his arms and sloshed in alcohol. Although I was thirteen, I knew this broke my mother's heart. Sometimes, Papa even used to hit Maa. I had heard noises coming from their room; yelling, banging, cursing and mostly, my mother's cries. I was a coward for not doing anything for my mother. I knew she loved Papa. She used to say Papa treated her as a queen, his queen. He used to care for her. But then something changed. Papa changed. He was no longer a loving husband. He became a devil. He ignored us and started enjoying his life outside.

All I had seen in my childhood was alcohol, girls, curse and my mother's broken heart. When I was fifteen, my mother committed suicide leaving me alone in this world. She could no longer bear this mental torture. I was all alone, I had no one to share my pain. My father changed after my mother's death. He used to go to the office, come back and lock himself in his room, and the cycle repeated. Though we lived in the same house, we never spoke to each other. He was always drowned in alcohol which became his life, and I learned that. My father gave me money but not the care which I craved for.

All of it continued for four years. When I was nineteen years old, my father died of cancer. The doctor told me that he was battling cancer for a long time but I never bothered to find more about it.

Why should I care about him? Did he ever care about me and my Maa?

My father died giving all his habits to me. I was alone and fragile. I had no one, and alcohol became my best friend, my stress reliever. Soon I became a womanizer, just like my father. I became exactly like the person whom I despised the most.

"Sanskar, one day you will have someone special in your life. A person who will create a different feeling in your heart and just by looking at her you'll know that she is the one. Always stay loyal to her, always love her and always cherish her. And never become like your father. Never. Promise me, son," Maa's voice still rang in my heart.

"I am sorry, Maa. I broke my promise and became like my father. I let you down," I said to myself.

The car halted, jerking me out of my own thoughts.

"Go home. I will be fine," I told Kabir who was insisting to drop me inside the house.

"Are you sure?" he asked me.

"Yes," I nodded my head and got out.

I entered the house with trembling steps. Blinking forcefully, I tried to look through the dim light of the hall and walked towards the stairs when I noticed someone.

That was not someone. It was Swara.

She was sitting there, wearing a white transparent kurta. I was able to see her skin more than I should and it was making me lose control.

"Are you okay?" She came near me and asked.

She was looking so beautiful that I was just shamelessly staring at her.

"Are you drunk?" She asked with amusement in her eyes.

"Do you care?" I asked looking straight into her eyes.

She was silent. I knew that she didn't care.

"Yes, I care. You are my husband. Why shouldn't I care about you?" She moved closer to me and I was able to hear her pounding heart and her breathing getting more and more agitated. Neither of us moved and mouths only inches apart. It was getting hard to control now.

That was it. I was breaking my rules. I would deal with the regret later.

I grabbed her waist and brought her body closer to mine until there was no space between us. I kissed her, sucked her lips into my mouth and breathed in her taste. One of her hands automatically went around my neck and she opened her lips for me to claim every single inch of her mouth.

Finally done with another part. How was it? Do give me your honest feedback.

The entire chapter was from Sanskar's POV and I guess this must have helped you all to understand his feelings well. So, did I justify his character well? I don't know why but writing this chapter was very difficult for me. I literally struggled hard to write it. Hope it's worth the struggle.

Thank You!

Take Care!See You Next Time!Love You All Forever!