Smiling for the world,living despite grief,bouncing back every time life tries to pull one down- if only it were as easily done as said. The most painful is to see those who had never let anything pull them down before,no matter what they are faced with,give up.

Sometimes,to find sunlight,we need to go through the densest and darkest of forests. Sometimes,we seek sunshine not for ourselves,but only for the ones we love.

Running away from our responsibilities only makes it more difficult to handle when we eventually decide to come back.

Rajveer- mujhe kuch nhi sunna hai. Itni si baat tumhe samjh nhi àati hai kya??

Rajveer thundered over the phone. It was not the first time Huda had called him to talk about Naina. He regretted  his decision of letting him know where he was going and how to contact him.

His regret began from the very first call he received from Huda, telling hum there was something urgent he needed to know about Naina-- the woman he was trying so hard to forget.

Huda- par sir yeh important hai.. i assure you it is

Rajveer- ho sakta hai..par mujhe akela chod do. Kya itna bhi nhi kar sakte???

Huda- sure sir. But first u need to listen to---

Rajveer- I DO NOT WANT TO. I've told you this a zillion times,and i am not about to tell you again. You call me one more time for this,and you are fired.

Huda- then fire me sir. BUT YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME. I cannot let this happen,when i can see it in front of my eyes- how unfair this is. Aapko lagta hoga aapke employees andhe h..but WE REALLY ARE NOT. Hum dekh sakte hai..sun bhi sakte hai...

Rajveer- kya kehna chahte ho tum???

Huda- i have heard from the older employees what happened between you and that girl- Nandini...and then I saw what happenrd between you and Naina..

Rajveer- isse tumhe kya??? Do u realise how close you are to getting fired??

Huda- i considered myself fired already. Khone k liye kuch nhi hai.. just listen- aapko yaad hoga woh cheque jo apne mujhe Naina ko dene k liye diye the?? Mainr usse woh de diya tha,but Naina ne woh paise kabhi liye hi nhi.. yahi baat nai kab se aapko kehna chahta tha

Rajveer- what bullshit! I have the documents with her signature on it,which says she received the cheque. I know she got it.

Huda- haan...usne cheque to liya tha aur invoice pe sign bhi kiya tha.. BUT SHE NEVER CASHED IT. mujhe last wk pata chala..jab company expenses check kar rha tha...

Rajveer was no longer listening to him. A thought took birth in his brain. Naina.

All this while,he had thought that she had accpeted his cheque,just as he had expected. But it turned out that she had  never taken his money. And she had never tried to contact him either. That meant she was not after his wealth, after all. He strangely elated  as if a heavy burden had been lifted off his shoulder. He was seeing Naina in a new light. She was not the woman he had accused her of being. She was different. She had loved him truly with no pretence and definitelt not for money.

And then he was hit by the horrible things he had said to her before leaving her, ABANDONING her, with a child on the way....

It had been--- he mentally calculated---- over four months. Thirty weeks. That means seven and half months. The thought took him back to the time he had asked Naina who the father of her unborn child was.

He felt terrible. He had accused her of horrible things and had abandoned her at a time when she needed him the most. He cursed himself over and over again for being so blind........for not recognising love when it stared him in the face.. Maybe it was too late to go back....

Maybe she would not want yo see him. It would be justified. He did not deserve to be allowed within twenty feet of her,but he had to try . He had to go back to het and try to explain what he had made him do what he did. He would try to tell her that,and then he would accept whatever decision she took.

Huda- sir??? Aap hai??? Hello???

Rajveer- haa..haan..sunn rha hu..

Huda- mai bas itna keh rha tha..mai aapko yeh nhi karne de sakta...i am sorry for being so out of line. But you have to understand that I could not live with knowing so much and doing nothing about it...

Rajveer- Its ok huda...i am grateful for forcing it on me...actually,do u have any idea where I might find Naina???

Huda- haan janta hu...they are at Calcutta hospital...

Rajveer- what???why???

Huda- werent you listening??? There has been an accident... isiliye maine last koshish ki aapko inform karne ki...

Rajveer- what the....what kind of accident??? What are u talking about???

Huda- naina stairs se gir gayi thi kal raat ko.. she was trying to save her father..but he passed away on the way yo the hospital...

Rajveer- Naina??? The baby???

Huda- zyada kuch nhi pta..doctors kuch bata nhi reh hai..shalini ne aaj subah bataya mujhe aur maine immediately aapko call kiya...

Rajveer- par woh log...woh log...zinda hai na???

Huda- haan...critical hai..par zinda hai..

Rajveer- thank god!!!

Huda- khush mat hoiye sir..shyad guilt se itni jaldi aap free nhi ho pyenge...Naina was 7 n hlf  mnths pregnant..ek height se gire the to impact severe hai...aur mujhe pta nhi aapko ye batana zaruri hai ya nhi..ya aap ye janna deserve karte hai ya nhi..but shalini ne kha..a baby delivered in its seventh moth rarely survives...

Rajveer stopped listening at that point..his brain was numb; his mind frozen..he could not believe all of this was happening..to think that such horrific things had happend to Naina....and their baby...and he was too late...he had never given her a chance to explain..now he might never get a chance to explain...

He had run away from his responsibilities and abandoned her yo die...she might actually do that...not once had he thought about her and their baby,and how they were doing without him...his biggest regert was not being there with her to prevent the fall. He should have been there to take care of her,since she was pregnant,and he was the father of the child..he should have been there to take care of her. He should have beeb there to do everything for her. BUT HE HAD NOT.

He stepped out of his personal hellhole..the underground cabin beneath the factory,where he had been hiding since last four month...and rushed to the hospital..he asked about her at the reception and reached the floor she was being operated in...as soon as he get out of the elevator he saw shalini...and the other girl...pooja..they did not spare him a second glance..he did not mind. All he needed was to find Naina and take care of her...

He had expected her to be lying unconscious in the hospital bed,too weak to move..but he was in for a surprise. She was up and walking...

He would never be able to erase the image from his head-- reached her knees,rushing out of the ward. She looked frail underneath the gown,her bones were sticking out..it seemed  like she had lost a lot of weight since he had last seen her. Wasnt it supposed to be the other way round during pregnancy?  Her stomach looked caved in,where the baby should have been. She had bandages covering a lot of her---- her forhead,right arm and right leg. There were small wounds all over het body,dressed with gauze. Her right arm was in a cast. There was no muscle in her body--  just skin on bones. Her eyes looked sunk in,her cheeks were hollow. There was no twinkle in those once- bright eyes. Instead,they were surrounded by dark circles. Her skin was an unhealthy shade of yellow,very pale. But the fire insidr her was still burning-- she was shouting at the hospital attendants,forcing them to let her go.

Naina- dont touch me!! Dur raho mujhse..dur raho..

She yelled as one of the nurses tried to take her back to the ward. Shalini and Pooja got up and ran towards her. Rajveer stood where he was. Frozen.

Pooja- Naina..shant ho ja..bed pe chal..tujhe rest ki zarurat hai..

Naina- mujhe rest ki zarurat nhi hai..mere bacche ko meri zarurat hai..Oli needs me.. mujhe jana hoga..

Pooja- par tu iss haal me nhi hai jaan ki tu ja sake..plz wapas chal.

Naina- mujhe jaane de..band kar ye sab..kya tujhe dikhta nhi..mere bacche ko meri zarurat hai...

Shalini- tum kuch nhi kar sakti ho..doctors are trying their best..

Naina- tum log samajh kyu nhi reh ho..mujhe uske paas hona chahiye..mere bacche ko meri zarurat hai.. Oli needs her mumma Pooja..Oli..

Pooja- i understand..

Naina- u dont..she's my only family..

Shalini- hum hai sab yaha Naina..plz aisa mat karo..

Naina- Shalu mujhe jaane do..mujhe use dekhna hai 1bar..woh..woh mar rhi hai..baba ki tarah..mujhe bhi marna hai..nhi jeena mujhe ab..
Jee k mai kya karungi..jab jiske liye mai zinda thi whi na rahe..

Shalini- usko kuch nhi hoga..thik ho jyegi woh...

Naina- tum sure nhi ho..or aise mujhe bewakuf bhi bana nhi sakti tum..bacchi nhi hu mai..i have seen a lot more of this fucking world than you give me credit for...mai janti hu woh thik nhi hogi..mai jnti hu mai kbhi thik nhi ho paungi..jo 1bar jaata hai mujhe chod k..kbhi laut k nhi aate..kbhi nhi..

Pooja- aise mat bol..thoda sa to positive soch..

Naina- sochti mai..agr yaha mujhe kuch bhi positive dikhta to...

That was all Naina said,before she broke down again and her kness gave out..

Naina- my baby...Oli...

Naina kept on repeating the same thing begging her friends not to take her back to the ward.. She looked helpless. From the way her teeth were clenched and how she held herself up awkwardly,it was clear that she was in a lot of pain. But she was not complaining about that. All she cared about was her baby. She joined her hands in a plea and cried..

Naina- mujhe jaane do plz...mai jnti hu woh nhi bachegi..woh chod k chali jyegi mujhe..mai use dekhna chahti hu..chuna chahti hu..plz...itna mujhe karne do..

Shalini- Naina..nhi..Oli bilkul thik ho jyegi..kuch nhi hoga use..bharosa rkho..

Shalini tried to be strong,but her tears kept flowinv endlessly..her body shook as she sobbed,not looking at Naina's face.. It seemed like she was struggling to be strong outside,when she was breaking inside..

Pooja could not even pretend to be so strong..she broke down and feel to her knees. She sobbed uncontrollably,her body heaving as her breathinv grew erratic. Shalini was by her aide immediately trying to pull her up,but Pooja did not get up.

Somehow, Pooja's tears seemed to have given Naina some strength.. She tried  to stoop down to pull her friend up,but the bandages on her leg made it impossible for her to bend

Naina- aarrgghh..

Pooja- kya hua Naina?? Kaha dard hua tujhe??

Naina- har jagah..

Naina threw herself into Pooja's arms. The three girls stood there,in the middle of the hospital corridor,crying uncontrollably.. their wails were heart wrenching. They supported each other,wiped each other's tears,when their own kept flowing down their cheeks ceaselessly

Rajveer stiil stood rooted to the spot and watched the scene unfold. Seeing Naina break down like that was even more painful than the last time he had seen her crying. She was beyond herself,grappling with the anguish of their baby's health.. she did not notice him standing there,just about six feet away from her. She didnot care about anything other than Oli at the moment.

HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE. He knew he would never be able to forgive himself for causing Naina such anguish. He knew he was a horrible person. He knew it was all his fault,and he would have agreed to die a million death  to spare Naina from the sorrow she felt right then  BUT IT DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT.

You cannot undo whats already done

He wished he could. He wished he had given Naina a chance to explain-- that he had not suspected her in the first place-- that he had not been such a heartless monster. He wished he could take away all her woes and make them his. He wished their child-- Oli,he had heard Naina call her- would be all right. He wished Naina would forgive him

HE WISHED....BUT WISHES RARELY COMES TRUE.......

Making up to someone might seem simple in theory,but it is really not that smooth a sail. Dues inexorably have to be paid.....

M back..yeh rha aap sabke liye chotu sa ud..

Zyada likh nhi pyi..kyuki mujhse or na roya jyega..Naina ka dard or na bayan kar sakti mai..

Isiliye jitna ho saka utna aap sabke liye likh k diya..jaldi next ud milegi..or shyd 2 ya 3 uds me ye khatam bhi ho jyega..

Tab tak..

Haste raho muskurate raho..or pray karto raho duniya me kisi bhi maa ko Naina jaisa kuch face na karna pade...

Alvida leti hu..

Love

Raima❤