Project X

All Rights Reserved

© 2015 Luna Black

~*~

The nights that a guilty conscience could withstand were zero to none. They were filled with a sleepless and overworked mind. The line between reality and fantasy were wickedly distorted and what once was a figment of one's imagination became one's greatest fear.

The shadows lurking in the night were no longer casted by light; they were now formed by the fatigued eyesight. Lack of sleep for ten nights was not healthy, not even for the strongest Xrion – and it was shattering every bit of aspect of reality he had left.

Everyone watched helplessly as their leader slowly succumbed to his dismay and although they wanted to help him find his strength, they were mourning alongside him.

Although his mind tormented him day and night, it didn't stop Xander from carrying out his duty as General. He attended meetings that the President called forth and even managed to gain the Xrions' citizenship in the United States.

However, no one dared to step in American soil for they were too busy with their problems in the island. Omari Maliqa was the new leader of the Griods and she thankfully felt the need to end the fifty-year long feud between the Xrions and Griods.

Both parties explained their sides of the story and after four long hours of sitting in a room full of tensed atmosphere, they were able to conclude their treaties.

Omari saw no need for a bloody war and although she had been appointed by Rhys as second-in-command, she did not agree with the fallen Queen's point of view. Omari was young, but she was not naïve; she had been chosen as second for a reason.

She would be a great leader and finally bring Griod out of their hateful era. In some aspects, she reminded Xander of Corah and it pained him greatly. She was well spoken and carried herself with a demand for respect and authority.

The Queen was also very beautiful. Her long silver hair cascaded over her shoulders adorned with intricate gemstones. Her voice was also very soft, almost sleep induced, but it made her a great speaker for everyone would be silent in order to listen to her.

After Xander spoke with her for the first time, he swore she was Corah incarnate, but she was two years younger than her and a bit more passionate about things. It was as if she had a fuming fire within her that pushed her to want to do hundreds of things at once.

And despite being a Griod, she had earned Xander's respect.

"General," A soldier nodded his head in respect as Xander exited the community hall.

He nodded in response, his blue eyes no longer shining with life. The dark bags underneath his eyes seemed to be smudged unto his face with war paint and it aged him, giving him a couple more years than he really was.

Xander could teleport to the XISC if he really wanted to, but the fresh breeze of the island was comforting. It filled him with an inexplicable sense of tranquillity and for a couple of seconds nature was the only thing that occupied his perturbed mind.

As the wind picked up a bit of speed, he tightened his hold on the envelope in his hand; it contained important information. He had finally gotten the President to write out exactly what rights the Xrions had.

After the bloody battle between them and the Griods, the humans began to respect the Aliens. They could have left Earth as soon as the Griods entered, but they stayed and protected them. If they hadn't, no one knew what the Griods were capable of doing to Earth.

"Good afternoon, General," Chandler smiled, helping Kelly walk down the hall. She looked like her child was giving her hell, but she still managed to smile and glance at her growing stomach with loving eyes.

Xander forced a twitch of his lips and quietly said, "Good afternoon." He continued his journey down the hospital corridors, silently counting the 312 steps he needed to take in order to reach his beloved's room.

He had counted them in order to occupy his mind whenever he visited her and at first it worked, but now the numbers seemed to fly aimlessly around his head. He did it more out of habit than trying to busy his mind with something other than her shrieks.

When he finally reached room 72, he hesitated in front of the door and forced himself to enter. Every day was the same routine; he had to pep talk himself into entering the room or he would turn and walk away.

The soft sound of the beeping machines filled the room, accompanied by the oxygen mask that was placed over her mouth. Although she hadn't woken since the emergency procedure Dr. Naveer had to carry out, she looked healthier than that day.

She was still pale, but the colour was slowly returning to her body and she was cleaned. Her girlfriends took turns washing her for Xander only permitted them to see her naked. He didn't even allow himself to touch her, for he had hurt her; he didn't deserve to lay a finger on her body.

But he touched her face and hands nonetheless.

He had to remind himself that she was still there and he could only do that by caressing her hands and falling asleep on the chair that was pulled up to the side of her bed.

Xander took a deep breath, pushing the chair up next to her and slowly sat down. He let out a shuddered breath as his body finally reminded him of all his exhaustion and he hesitantly lifted her hand from the bed to place it over his.

With his free hand, he closed her fingers around his hand and then breathed out. Her touch was cold, but it brought him a sense of warmth that spread out through his body and filled the growing void in his heart.

It had been ten long days without seeing her beautiful green eyes or hearing her melodious laugh. He was slowly easing into insanity because it was the only way he could see and hear what he missed the most.

Alexa no longer smelled of her favourite lemon-scented shampoo. She smelled of ivory soap and crisp hospital sheets.

It wasn't a bad smell, unlike human hospitals; the XISC didn't smell like cleaning detergents. According to the doctors, those smells did not help a patient recuperate; floral and sweet scents would relax and have positive effects.

"Hi," His throat burned with emotion as all of the shrieks she had released replayed in his mind like a catchy soundtrack, "mielle." He was quiet for a couple of seconds, not knowing what to say even though he had plenty of things to speak about.

For ten days it was always the same thing. The words he desperately needed to get out of his chest, got caught in his throat and he was unable to say them out loud.

"How I miss you," he managed to whisper, "even with all the languages in the world combined, there are not enough words to express how much I miss you. I am so sorry for what I did, but I do not think that I could have been sane enough to wake up without you for the rest of my life. These past couple of days have been torturous and I would give my life in order to hear your voice one more time."

Xander pressed his face against her arm, finding solace with just touching her. It was truly pathetic.

"I managed to get the females back to their partners," he began quietly; "they will be much safer in the island. The President also allowed us to stay for as long as our people desire and the choice will be up to you. If your feelings for me have not changed after what I have done, I will stay by your side and try to make up for the pain that I have caused you."

His voice broke as emotions filled it. "If your feelings have changed, I will leave Dram in charge of the Xrions that would want to stay with their partners or that choose to stay and I will lead Xrion from home. It pains me to leave you, but I do not want to cause you any more pain and if leaving will make you content, I will leave in a blink of an eye. I will gladly take all the pain upon my shoulders just to make you happy."

Xander was quiet for a couple of minutes, wishing that she gave a sign of waking up, but nothing came. He wanted her hands to twitch or her fingers to move, but nothing occurred. He preferred if her eyes opened and she spoke, but he would take what he could get.

At least she was alive.

Dr. Naveer had said that the stress on her took a huge toll on her physical and mental health. Her body was trying to cope with everything that had happened and it was trying to recuperate the energy that it had lost.

He was still astounded to know that she had been awake through most of the procedure. But she had fought through it all.

As soon as the embryo left her body, she seemed to go into shock and Dr. Naveer explained that the embryo had been controlling her emotions as a way to protect itself. The longer that Alexa fought for him, the more chances he had to survive.

Having a child was a bittersweet feeling. They used the mother's body for ten months and did not care what she had to be put through. Once the child was in the mother's arms, she would forget it all, but it was something that not many people appreciated; giving birth was not easy.

According to Dr. Naveer, Alexa might not even remember the painful procedure; she wasn't in the right state of mind when everything was occurring. It was easier for Xander to make the decision for both because he wasn't being controlled by someone trying to survive no matter the cost.

A big part of him knew that when Alexa awoke, she would most likely hate every fibre of his being, but hope still grew in his heart and he prayed that she would see his side of things.

"Please, mielle," he whispered, silent tears sliding down his cheeks, "please wake up."

He was now begging the same way she had been begging him to end her life. Karma had a way to fück anyone over.

A soft knock on the door, made him compose himself quickly and he turned his head to look at the intruder.

Omari walked in slowly, her eyes never leaving Alexa's body as sadness flickered across her eyes. She knew how hard it was to lose a lover and a child. She would not wish the pain on anyone; not even her worst enemy.

"I am sorry for your loss," She whispered, standing behind Xander as she continued looking at Alexa, "I can tell the human means a lot to you. Do not worry; coping with her death will become easier with time."

Xander frowned, turning to look at her and said, "Alexandra is not dead."

Omari narrowed her eyes, stepping up beside him and said, "Then, why mourn her? Should you not be content that she is alive?"

"I did something horrible to her. When she wakes up she might not ever want to see me again; that is why I mourn."

"Nonsense," She waved her hand in the air, as if his comment had been totally unnecessary, "I saw her fight for a race that is not hers. She would not have fought as ferociously as she did, if she did not love you. Yes, you took the child from her, but under the circumstances you were both placed in, I believe it was the correct choice. When Alexandra arises, she will understand."

Xander shook his head, caressing her cold fingers gently. "She is not like us – and the child was inside of her; not me. I did not have the right to make the decision for her."

Omari placed her hand on his shoulder, her eyes filling with wisdom that he could not understand for he did not know her past. "Life is like a tree trunk; there are many branches attached to it, but without the trunk they are not much. Just branches. And sometimes, you must cut those branches so that the trunk will not falter. You made a decision that would keep her alive. If you explain to her that saving her child would have allowed her to die for a useless cause, she will understand. After all, she is a female – most of us work the same way; no matter the race."

He nodded, not wanting to spark an argument with the adamant Queen and ran his fingers through his hair. "Were you searching for me?"

She nodded, her eyes still fixed on Alexa. "My people and I have decided to return home sooner than we planned. We left Griod unattended and I do not know how much longer the council can cover up for us." Omari tilted her head, her experienced eyes seeing what Xander could not. She stepped closer to Alexa's bed and turned her head to look at him. "May I?"

He frowned, but nodded, watching curiously as she placed her hand against Alexa's forehead. It was cool underneath the Queen's light touch, but it did not seem to faze her. Instead, Omari gave a small smile.

"Alexandra will be such a great Queen; you made the right decision by saving her. She will leave a positive effect on your people, General Xander."

Xander's frown deepened, but he felt his body relaxing. Certain Queens were known for the ability of visions or slight flashes of what would happen; hopefully that was what Omari was speaking about.

"It is time I depart," Omari sighed, bowing her head in respect, "once your Queen arises and you are more stable as a leader; contact me. I would like to speak to her personally, if the chance is given to me, of course. Ir vi do, Yván Xander."

He stood up, bowing his head in respect as well and said, "Ir vi do, Yvén Omari." He followed her out the door, watching as she walked down the corridor and leaned his head against the wall. Omari was right; he needed to stop mourning Alexa because she was not dead. He just wished that his heart would understand it as well.

"Xander..."

If Alexa did not return his feelings he would not force her to be with him. He had already done so once; he couldn't continue messing with her life. She was old enough to make her decisions and he wasn't going to meddle with them anymore; he couldn't hurt her anymore.

"Xan...Xander...Xander!"

He widened his eyes, quickly entering the room and ran towards Alexa. She was struggling to say something and her heart beat was rising incredibly. "Shhh, mielle, it is okay. What is wrong?"

Alexa gasped, widening her eyes in panic as she clawed at throat desperately. She began to turn red, the oxygen seeming not to reach her lungs. He looked at the machinery going crazy with helpless eyes and tried to see what would help her best.

Dr. Naveer ran in, pushing Xander aside and disconnected the oxygen mask from her. The tank was empty and her body had to return to its original source of oxygen, but it was abruptly and it hadn't adjusted.

He sat her up gently, allowing her lungs to receive air and she visibly relaxed as her body began to cooperate to the doctor's commands. After checking her vitals and her heart monitor, Dr. Naveer disconnected the miniature tube that made sure her body received some type of liquid as to not starve during her slumber.

Xander watched from afar, not having the will or strength to face Alexa's wrath. She couldn't speak much. Her vocal chords were still weak and her voice sounding airy, almost rasped.

After all of the check-up procedures were complete, Dr. Naveer told her to try and rest. She obviously declined; she had been sleeping for ten days!

Once he was gone, Alexa turned to look at Xander and whispered, "Why are you so far?"

He quietly walked to the side of the bed, pulling the chair close to her again and sat down. He was just waiting for her to explode and call him every name in the book. He deserved everything she threw his way.

"Hug me," she begged, her eyes glazing over with tears as she looked at him and he widened his eyes.

Xander stood up, slowly leaning down towards her and she yanked him down, wrapping her arms around him as tight as she could. A sob trembled through her body as she held unto him and he relaxed against her body.

She welcomed the warmth that spread throughout her body, leaving tingles behind where his skin was coming in contact with hers and she cried harder. Alexa nuzzled her face against the curve of his neck and soaked his shirt with her tears.

"Are you not...are you not angry at me?" He asked softly, not releasing her from his hold.

Alexa shook her head, sniffling and whispered, "I'm angry at myself not at you."

"What?" He pulled back, sitting on the chair to be able to look at her. "Why would you be angry at yourself, mielle? You have done nothing wrong."

"If I had only stayed behind like you told me to, our baby would be okay," she whimpered, entwining her fingers with his, "but I didn't. I came here and tried to act all tough and it just," her voice hitched as another sob shook her body, "I messed everything up."

Xander shook his head, caressing her face and pushed her hair back. "Alexa, you are tough and you did not mess up anything. You actually saved my life and proved you are worthy of the crown."

"I don't want a crown," she mumbled, "I wanted a family. I wanted to make you proud to have one."

"Alexa," he sighed, kissing her knuckles gently, "you do make me proud. Every time I look at you I am filled with a sense of pride and purpose. You singlehandedly took down Rhys and she was a far better skilled warrior than you are. You protected yourself and me and as far as you could, you protected our child."

She licked her bottom lip, feeling like they had been chapped and whispered, "No, I didn't protect him enough. I put him in harm's way; what kind of mother does that to their child?"

"We did not know you were expecting," he answered softly, lowering his eyes because he couldn't bear to see the sadness in hers.

He wasn't understanding what she meant, but she couldn't understand him either. "But I should've known; as a mother, I should've had that intuition."

"Alexa," Xander tilted her chin so that she was looking at him, "you did not know. Please do not blame yourself for this; I have done so for the past ten nights and they have haunted my every move. I do not want you to feel that way."

Alexa sighed, leaning back against the pillows and closed her eyes. She missed him so damn much. Her mind was still aware of her surroundings and she could faintly make out what the doctors spoke about, but her thoughts always revolved around Xander.

Although he had gone against her wishes when she begged to keep their child, she understood why he carried out his decision. She wasn't cold-hearted, but with all the hectic things going on in her life when she found out she was having their baby, she hadn't made a clear bond with him.

It should've been instantaneous and she felt something for him, but knowing that her child had manipulated her emotions was somewhat chilling. It was more confusing in her mind than anything, but if she had the opportunity to give up her life and her child would have survived, she would have.

"I know what you are thinking," Xander sighed, "and it frightens me to confess this, but I do not think that I would have the strength to raise our child alone. I would not be able to see them every day due to my job and I would deal with your death, like I did with Corah's. I would bury myself in the job; I am not capable of raising our children without you by my side."

Alexa shook her head, giving him a small smile and said, "I know you, Xander. You say that now because we do not have to go through it, but your entire world will turn upside down once you get that little person in your arms and you will only want to love them."

He opened his mouth to say something, but shook his head and leaned his head down to lay it on her shoulder. It was somewhat uncomfortable for him, but he wanted to feel her against him; it was the best he could do under their circumstances. "You do not know the relief I feel, knowing that you are not angry; I have tortured myself for the past ten days, only imagining the worst."

"Well," she sighed, "I'm kind of pissed at you, but it's not because of the baby – as weird as that sounds."

Xander frowned, raising his head from her chest to look at her. "What do you mean then?"

"When I killed your mom, you snarled at me. I mean, I saved you and that – that bïtch had the balls to touch you and you were angry at me! No offense, but she was a freaking psycho bïtch."

He chuckled, shaking his head and sighed. For ten days he was tormented over her not wanting to be with him due to his decision over their child, but Alexa was angry for completely different reasons.

Alexa narrowed her eyes, pouting her lips and said, "Why are you laughing? That's not funny! I thought you hated me for that."

"Mielle, I was not angry. I was angry at her for giving me such important information in such little time without a valid explanation. There were so many questions that I had for her, but you killed her before I could ask them. I apologise for snarling at you," he pressed a soft kiss to her hand, "and for taking the decision of our child's life from you."

Her hand raised up to caress his cheek and he closed his eyes. That was the first time she had ever seen him with a dark stubble. It was ruggedly sexy, but she preferred his cheeks smooth and clean-shaven. "God," she whispered, her voice dripping with sincerity, "I love you, Xander. When Rhys almost killed you, I lost my shït. I went batshït crazy and I swear I have never been that angry at a woman. It was a great way to meet my mother-in-law, eh?"

He gave a quiet laugh, turning his head to the side to kiss her hand – for the fiftieth time – and said, "I love you too, Alexandra. I am proud to say that you are my Queen and I am sure my people are too. Dram has been telling anyone who is willing to listen."

Alexa laughed, feeling her cheeks heating up a little. "What is he saying?"

"That you are Yvén Alexandra."

"Y-what?" She frowned, shifting uncomfortably when she finally began to feel the aftereffects of the battle. Her body felt like it had been through hell a thousand times and back. Especially her ribcage and thigh.

"Yvén," he repeated, "it means queen. When you are allowed to leave the hospital, we will introduce you to our people as Queen."

She raised her eyebrows, a smile growing on her lips. "Our people?"

"Yes," he smiled in return, "when you killed Rhys it was taken as a sign of strong leadership. A lot of my men look up to you for that."

Just as she opened her mouth to tell him that she wasn't exactly ready to be a queen, Dr. Naveer opened the door with his infamous transparent clipboard. He smiled at them warmly and bowed his head, "I am glad that you are still awake, Ms. Dominick. I have some news that may make you happy."

"Shoot," she sighed, tightening her hold on Xander's hand.

"If everything goes according to plan, you will be able to have many children in the future. Your body is healing significantly fast. In two more weeks we will be able to take your stitches out and you may return to your normal life."

Alexa raised an eyebrow, the corners of her lips turning up in a smirk. "I'm in love with an Alien; how the hell is my life normal?"

Dr. Naveer and Xander burst out laughing, shaking their heads at her snarky comment. She was recuperating extremely fast. "Also, you will be able to engage in any strenuous activity after forty days from your release."

"I have to wait forty days to have sex?!" Alexa deadpanned, narrowing her eyes in annoyance. It had been two long months without even seeing him shirtless, she was going to tie him to the bed in exactly forty days.

Xander chuckled, sighing as he slid his hand down his face. She was putting up a strong front, but he could pick up on her emotions. She was still hurting. However, he preferred to see her trying to be happy rather than sleeping in a bed with just a heart monitor as a sign of life.

~*~