February 3rd, 2016

PK Subban, Andrei Markov, Alexei Emelin and Max Pacioretty are all gathered around a conference table in the Bell Centre in Montreal. Pacioretty, the Montreal Canadiens' captain stands at the head of the table, addressing his friends.

"We need to find a way to get back into the playoffs and destroy those rotten Lightning Bolts from Tampa!" Pacioretty snaps, banging his fist on the table. "Anyone have any plans? How can we cheat?"

"Well, we've tried pretty much everything we can. We managed to beat them in December... until that nosy kid captured Gally's confession on his little recorder and landed him in the insane asylum! If it weren't for him, we'd still be running the show and the damn division!" Markov growls.

"And now our goalie, Carey Price is out for the long term, meaning that we need to do something drastic, otherwise, we're gonna be golfing while those prissy bastards in Florida are enjoying a run in the playoffs again." Emelin rolls his eyes. "They almost won the cup once, imagine if they do it a second time, but this time actually win it?!"

"True. What if we got help?" Pacioretty proposes. "We could enlist the help of another team... or players? Anyone have anybody in mind?" He looks around the room, until his eyes land on his defender.

"How about our friends in Florida...the Panthers? Wouldn't Kulikov and Petrovic be willing to help us out?" Subban suggests. "I mean if we can help them out...control them, maybe, just maybe, they can ride the Division and keep the Lightning down in second. I'm also certain that the Bruins can take care of them too. But like we want their help..."

Markov drums his fingers on the table surface, as he sneers, "After all there are two teams Montreal hates: Tampa and Boston. But Tampa is worse than Boston at the moment, so anyone but them. The closer we are to them, the better."

"Yes, yes. That is true." Subban rubs his hands together. "Plus my brother is a Bruin."

"So let's try to figure this out. Let's analyze the Tampa-Montreal games, shall we? Starting from 2013-2014, where those slimy bastards took second, getting one point on us at the end of the season," Pacioretty remarks, snatching up a remote with a massive black button in the center of it. He lifts it up and points it at a projector screen, pressing the button. "We're gonna start with studying the four-game sweep we had against them."

The current captain of the Montreal Canadiens launches into some background information as the game begins on the projector screen. "If you all can recall, the Tampa Bay Lightning finished second overall in the Atlantic Division, earning 101 points. While we, the Montreal Canadiens, earned 100 points during the regular season, to finish third overall in the Atlantic Division. This was the second playoff meeting for both teams, the only previous meeting was in the playoffs in 2004, in which Tampa Bay swept us out of the playoffs en route to their Stanley Cup victory. The Lightning won three of the four games in this year's regular season series."

"Oh, yeah, I remember that," Subban remarks. "That was the true start of Montreal's hatred for the Lightning." He frowns. "Whenever they win against us, they make us pay royally. In 2004, they won the bloody Cup and in 2015, they made it to the Final, almost winning it against those Hawks!"

The games all finish, with Pacioretty skipping over various Lightning parts, focusing mainly on the Canadiens and playing out the "grand" victory. "Now, as you can see, we won this one big time. Mainly thanks to our superb goaltending and precious Brendan Gallagher, who's unfortunately not with us thanks to those Lightning pricks!"

"But, the Lightning didn't have that goalie, Bishop! And if I recall, wasn't Steven Stamkos injured during the regular season, so I'm sure he was timid and not feeling it. Plus they had a group of unmotivated dicks, for instance that blowhard Radko Gudas," Emelin snarls. "He was a nobody, still is."

"His loyalties lie on the wrong side," Markov growls. "I say we kill him!"

Pacioretty waves his hands before him. "No. No. Soon his time will come. He may be loyal to the Lightning still, but he'll fall with them if he so pleases to."

Markov leans back in his chair and folds his arms across his chest. "Whatever you say Patches. But just say the word, and we'll take care of him!"

Subban snickers wickedly. "Czech players, Russians and Swedes are all dumbasses!"

"Keep in mind that during the 2013-2014 season there were no Triplets, no Vladislav Namestnikov and no captain named Steven Stamkos," Pacioretty says. "So let's look at the next season, 2014-2015, because that's when things get interesting. The first game of this season that we'll look at, is the Lightning's BIG 7-1 win against us, which was on October 13, 2014. After we beat them in the playoffs they seemed to have strengthened, we need to look for how they did that and why."

"Isn't that..." Emelin begins and then trails off.

Pacioretty nods, smirking. "Indeed. The birth of Yzerchuk occurred in the latter part of this season as well. The Lightning came at us with everything: Yzerchuk, Triplets, Vladdy...they destroyed us with these main three elements. In the next games I show you, pay attention to that because we need to find out WHO started it."

The game begins to play and the Habs take notes on the high points, noticing that a certain Bolt had an impressive outing, picking up his first career assist and point as well as first NHL goal.

"The blond kid!" Subban growls, jumping to his feet. "He's the cause of their win in that game! He provided...the...spark!?" He slowly sits back down, bewildered.

"Hold onto that thought, Subs." Pacioretty plays the next game: March 30, 2015. "This is the one that I found particularly interesting, when revisiting it with Coach, boys." He smirks as the game plays and then the familiar face of Vladislav Namestnikov pops up, scoring the two goals, including the game-winner.

Subban jumps back to his feet. "The kid is the cause of the Lightning win and allowing them to clinch the playoffs!"

"Yeah, that's what I found particularly interesting. And then in the playoffs that year, he was there and he earned his first playoff point and assist against us. Not to mention he picked a fight with Gally."

"So what's that mean Patches?" Emelin questions.

"It means that since Vladislav Namestnikov's appearance in the NHL and on the Lightning, he's backed us into a corner. Sure we can have little victories here and there, but as long as he's around, Montreal is doomed!"

"So, our plan is to go after the kid?" Markov growls.

"Again," Emelin adds on.

"Won't those fangirls and his friends and all be around? How can we attempt to succeed?" Subban snarls, shaking his head. "If we are to kidnap the kid?"

"That is why you are not captain of this team, Subban. And instead of going after the bolt, Yzerchuk, yes the plan is to focus on the little Russian blondie. Because what I have realized - what I am proposing to you - is that Mr. Namestnikov is more than just a normal player for the Lightning. In fact, I argue that he's 'Yzerchuk'...the bolt is a decoy, the real 'Yzerchuk' is the young blond kid."

"I thought the Lightning Bolt was 'Yzerchuk' and it fueled the offense? Are you saying that Vladislav Namestnikov is now 'Yzerchuk'?" Markov inquires.

"And that he's the real spark for the offense? So without him, the Lightning can't win and will be hurt?" Emelin adds on, cocking his head to the side.

"Exactly." Pacioretty smirks and nods, glaring at the projector as Vladdy celebrates his game-winning goal, happy and ignorant of the truth. "And he's not escaping Montreal this time."

Markov, Subban and Emelin look to the screen and begin to cackle with their captain, who leads it off.

****

Some articles of importance that I used to write this chapter and that are interesting for you all (notice how much Tampa and Montreal are similar in their "ways of screwing one another", and I really do think that Vladdy is the key to the Lightning's ultimate victory over Montreal. He plays 4 games in 2013-2014, but doesn't show up much - result: Lightning are swept by Montreal. In 2014-2015, Vladdy helps the Lightning clinch the playoffs and scores his first goal against them and then later helps them to win against them in the playoffs. This season, he's around again, upping his game and Montreal is most likely OUT of the playoffs.): 

https://www.nhl.com/news/five-reasons-why-the-lightning-were-eliminated/c-716188

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2013–14_Tampa_Bay_Lightning_season

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2014–15_Tampa_Bay_Lightning_season

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2015_Stanley_Cup_playoffs#.28A2.29_Tampa_Bay_Lightning_vs._.28A3.29_Detroit_Red_Wings

http://www.foxsports.com/florida/story/tampa-bay-lightning-defeat-montreal-canadiens-vladislav-namestnikov-score-two-goals-033015