"she's lost at sea, she's off that pill, she's on her knees, can't tell what's real."
* pose - jack & jack

༺♥༻

valerie +

fuck college and fuck my parents for making me go to college, i don't even know what the hell i'm majoring in and my grades are suffering, probably gonna get academic probation or some shit.

i was a great student in high school which got me into college, but when i got to college it all went down hill and i just wanna get out of here.

i don't want to go to school for four more years, but it's too late now. halfway through sophomore year of college and i can't go back now. the only reason i really go to class is because one of my professors is really hot.

yeah, mr. gilinsky. i don't really pay attention in his class but i probably should because i'm failing that class. college algebra is so pointless though, so there is no reason for me to take it.

but here i am now, sitting in his classroom, tapping my black ink pen against the wooden desk, admiring my professor. he's beautiful, i can't not stare at him.

"valerie." mr. gilinsky's voice booms in the entire room, making me look up at him, "stop tapping your pen."

"sorry" i murmur, setting my pen down, blushing from being called out in front of the entire class; this class is pretty much made up of freshmen and a few sophomores.

"as i was saying..." he mutters, turning back to the smart board to finish writing the lesson.

i just zone out, thinking about random things. wondering why the hell i don't have a roommate and whether or not i should hook up with nate maloley tonight. soon enough, were dismissed, but i'm called to stay after.

"valerie, you're failing my class."

i look around, pretty distracted and not wanting to have this conversation right now,
"i'm well aware of that, mr. gilinsky." i tell him and he bites his bottom lip, furrowing his eyebrows in concentration.

"what happened?" he asks, sitting on the edge of his desk and folding his hands together. "you were doing so well in the beginning of the year."

jesus christ, he's so hot.

i shrug my shoulders, "i kind of just stopped trying in this class."

and every other.

his dark eyebrows pull together and he frowns a little, "you're like that class rebel, huh? do you need extra help? are you not understanding the lessons?"

"no, it's not that, it's just- i don't know. it's boring. you do the same thing every single day, spice it up or something." i bite the inside of my cheek and he lets out a deep chuckle.

"okay, valerie, i'll take that into consideration."

i enjoy hearing my name escape from his lips. it makes me unintentionally pool in my underwear. i look down at the carpeted floor, trying not to make eye contact with him because he intimidates me.

"so you understand everything i talk about in class, right?" he carries on with the conversation and i nod my head.

"i guess." i lie.

he smiles a little, "that's great, i'll see you in class tomorrow."

he pushes himself up from his desk and collects the stack of papers on his desk. i didn't even turn in the assignment. it's not that i forgot to do it, i just didn't.

"one more question." i say and he raises his eyebrows

"shoot."

"what did we learn about today?" i grin at him and he shakes his head, smiling a little.

"do you want me to go over it with you before i grade papers? it'd be better if you stayed on top of things."

it'd be better if you were on top of me.

"sure." i say as i try not to stutter.

he takes out the nifty textbook that's laying on his desk and flips it to the section we're on. he lets me sit in his desk chair as i pull out my
notebook and pretend to pay attention,

how can i pay attention when he's practically breathing over my neck. i can't listen to his explanations like this.

"got it, now?" he asks me when he's done.

"to be honest, not really." i let out a laugh. "you're breathing down my neck it's stressing me out." i add.

"alright maybe we can just study another time because i really have to finish grading assignments." mr. gilinsky tells me and i nod my head.

just as i'm about to leave, nate appears in the doorway.

"nathan, can i help you?" mr. gilinsky asks him and he shakes his head.

"just came to get valerie." he smiles at us, his dimple deepening as he does so. "heard she stayed after class."

two hot men in the same room, i can't deal. sure, nate is closer to my age. he's only a year older than me which makes him twenty, but mr. gilinsky isn't that much older either, he's a young professor, i think he's twenty four.

"see you tomorrow." i sling my bag over my shoulder.

i look back once more and see mr. gilinsky eyeing me and nate with a not-so-happy or pleased look plastered on his face. he looked so damn fuckable today. his light blue linen shirt all buttoned up casually and tucked into his black dress pants.

"how was class?" nate asks me, putting his arm around me.

we occasionally hook up, but we're not dating. i don't think it'd be good for us to ever date because we're both kind of that live fast, die young , spirit person.

"it was boring as per usual." i explain horribly and he nods.

"i have to get to my next class, but i just wanted to see you." nate tells me and i smile.

"alright, bye." i wave him off, after heading into the direction of my dorm because i don't have any other classes after algebra.

i don't want to return back to class tomorrow, but i do, just so i can see him and maybe he will hit on me finally.

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