So remember in my somewhat rant that I had a slight crush on a guy, Sam?

Yea, it got deeper super badly

Like, REALLY BADLY

LIKE I MIGHT EVEN LOVE HIM F U C K

I've already told the HetaSquad this but I just got something more today

So before winter break started i went to the clarinet section Christmas party. Since he also played clarinet and was also going to the party, I decided to give him his present there instead at school.

What his present contained was two candy canes, two large fake candy canes with m&m's in them and a card.

A card that basically is vomited my feelings towards him on.

Honestly it was so difficult writing that card because I had some thoughts and doubts about doing it before I started writing it, but I knew I had to spill it or else it's gonna get worse. I remember I wrote it that I really liked him, but I never asked him out. (Remember this)

So I gave him the present and every day I was honestly super terrified whenever he kept snap chatting me. I was super paranoid about what he was snapping me for TWO DAYS. Heck, I once didn't open up his snap to me for NINE hours purposely!

The feeling of worrying so much kinda faded away after so many "streaks" snaps and him saying he still couldn't open up his gift because he was somewhere else during winter break.

I was kinda getting worried again once he stopped sending streaks to me yesterday. All he did was open then and that was it. I kept thinking he opened my present and didn't want to talk to me or busy.

Nothing helped at all with my new favorite song, Want You by Rynx feat. Miranda Glory. I love that song so much yet it reminds me of Sam, like fffuuuuuucccckkkk.

Around eleven pm, I was just watching Moo Snuckle videos and then a notification popped. Turns out Sam snapped me back after about a week(?) of not doing so. And as soon as I saw it, my heart just instantly stopped and I was like "HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK"

And so I still didn't open the snap until around 1:30, about a few minutes ago after posting this. I was honestly terrified because he hasn't snapped me for DAYS—

(Okay now I sound like some idiot kms)

When I opened it he said that he opened my gift and liked it anD HE GIVE HIS RESPONSE TO ME WHENEVER WE GET BACK TO SCHOOL WHICH IS THIS MONDAY

and honestly I was like

thaovy.exe stopped working

I'm not afraid of him rejecting me(if he does, I'll be a bit heartbroken but still willing to be friends), I'm more afraid of what he's going to say

Fuck my heart is pounding ivE NEVER EXPERIENCED THIS IN MY LIFE BEFORE

F U C K